The Latest Twisted News…

Are We Doing Anyone Any Favors?
May 21, 2013 By Bill McCormick
When I was a younger B3 I played team sports in school. I wasn't real good at any of them but I tried, I had fun and I made friends. Which, when we're discussing kids is probably the more valuable experience. Of course there was that one kid that everyone could tell was special. The kid who had real talent. And you all remember what parents and coaches would say to that kid; "You'd better keep your grades up or you'll never get into college … [Read More...]

Okay, Sure, It Could Kills Us All, But It Would Still Be Cool
May 19, 2013 By Bill McCormick
A while back I wrote about Miguel Alcubierre. He was the fun loving scientist who figured out how faster than light travel was possible without violating Einstein's laws. He did this despite finding out that Jason Richwine said he didn't have the intelligence of white, native, Americans. If I take that statement literally I think it means that Cochise was white. Which I am going to guess is a fact that will come as a shock to his … [Read More...]

Making Lesbians One At A Time
May 18, 2013 By Bill McCormick
Last year, after a lengthy court battle, Greek courts ruled that residents of the Isle of Lesbos could not sue women who called themselves lesbians. Yes, that was a real lawsuit. And, yes, that was a real result. So, now that that's out of the way, let's move on to other women's issues. As the more astute among you may have noticed, despite the fact that I really, really like the feminine form, I am not a woman. Yet, despite that horrid … [Read More...]

Just Say Yes
May 17, 2013 By Bill McCormick
We've all been there. The one night stand that was not a very good idea. Whether the date was "Coyote Ugly" (so ugly you'd chew your arm off rather than wake him/her) or that downward spiral of realizing you were trapped with ten pounds of crazy stored in a five pound bag, doesn't matter. What matters is that you've been there. As have I. However, there are people who don't quite grasp the concept of leaving. Of walking out the door, … [Read More...]

Do We Really Need This?
May 16, 2013 By Bill McCormick
The world has never needed an electric dog polisher. That hasn't stopped someone from inventing one but my soul is heartened by the fact that it didn't sell well. Although I am saddened that it sold at all. History is littered idea that should never have made it out of the bar. And you know that all of these ideas were hatched in bars. It is the only excuse for the brilliant children's toy, Boner the Humping Dog. No, that's not a typo. How … [Read More...]

Superficial and Stupid is Not a Good Combo
May 14, 2013 By Bill McCormick
Do you remember the bombing at the Boston Marathon? I do because I knew a couple of people in the race. It took several hours to find out they were safe. Which they were and are. Before we begin I will be the first to admit that there are a couple of unanswered questions; (1) "Why was there a shoot out if the kid didn't have a gun?" springs to mind and is followed by; (2) "How is it legal to buy that much fireworks without a permit?" Beyond … [Read More...]

Happy Mutha’s Day
May 12, 2013 By Bill McCormick
As I noted on Facebook the odds are staggeringly in favor of the fact that your loving and nurturing mother has been auditioning finger puppets while reading 50 Shades of Grey. People don't like to think of their moms like that but if your mom didn't do the mattress mambo you wouldn't be here. So while you're taking her to a champagne brunch and ordering a chocolate croissant for her you might want to invest in a gift certificate from … [Read More...]