Search Results for: mcdonald's

As more and more people read this blog I find myself getting asked “Hey, what happened to such and such?” Or so and so, as the case may be. Since I understand that Google can be tricky for some, I’ve decided to be helpful and catch people up on the topics that seem to interest them the most. For those who’re concerned about the bump in the universe, I’m afraid you’re going to have to wait for a few years to get a definitive answer. The discovery’s too recent. Unlike on TV, real time has to pass while scientists working at colliders the world over check their research to see if they can find similar or matching results. When I posted the article possible answers ranged from it being a statistical anomaly to a message from God. As of today, that’s still where things stand.

Others wanted to know about Paul Arason’s penis. They’ll be pleased to know that Paul kicked the bucket at the ripe old age of 95 and donated his pickled member to the Icelandic Penis Museum. Paul is the first human represented in the museum but will probably not be the last. It seems there are several wills already written which include a request to have the owner’s personal parts so honored as well. Icelandic men seem to be very proud of their penises and want to make sure they get the posthumous posterity they deserve.

Still others wanted to know more about Mrs. God. Some were very angry about the article. They attacked the researcher who made the discovery, theologian Francesca Stavrakopoulou, for being an atheist and a woman. They also attacked me for giving her pub, like she needed me for that after being on The Discovery Channel and so on. But the rest were just curious. They wanted to know if the story had any validity. The answer to that is a simple yes. It seems pretty clear now that, up until the Moses led patriarchy came to dominate Judaism and thus influence Christianity and Islam, the devout worshiped both Yahweh and Ashera. Moses’ scribes and hard liners like Leviticus had no place in their realms for a nurturing being and simply edited her out of any existing scriptures. More discoveries are being made which support Ms. Stavrakopoulou’s original thesis. I’m not sure how this will all play out in the real world, but it should be interesting to follow.

Many more have written to find out more about the food that will not die. That story’s taken on a life of its own. As you know, hamburgers and fries purchased from McDonald’s will not decay. Even if left in the open for hundreds of days, they still look like they just came out of the microwave. The experiment is easy to duplicate. Just buy a Happy Meal (TM), take off the lettuce and stuff and then photograph it every day until it decomposes or you run out of patience. So far, after about a year, people are beginning to see that patience will lose out first. McDonald’s freely admits that each Chicken McNugget is only 50% chicken and the rest is those ubiquitous “fillers and preservatives” and that they treat their meat before freeze drying it and shipping it to their restaurants. Simply put, if food does not decay in the open air then it’s probably not decaying in you either. You might want to give that some serious thought before you slap down your hard earned money for lunch.

For those who are worried about our impending robot overlords, I will be dealing with them in a few days, so stick around. Also, tomorrow, I’m going to take a long look at the recently released FBI documents that ABSOLUTELY PROVE the existence of UFOs. First off, there’s no need to type in all caps. It’s annoying. Second of all, no they don’t. Tune in tomorrow to find out why.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

I woke up this morning, which – given the alternative – is always a pleasant revelation, and discovered that my cats had pulled all of the power sockets out of the wall in my living room. Why they had done this is beyond my ken, but it did give me pause to note that half my apartment was without power. It isn’t like the electric company shuts you off one room at a time. And certainly not in the middle of the night. Nope, when they come by they shut you off like ripping off a band aid. One second it’s there, the next it’s not and you’re left with a painful stinging sensation. None of this is relevant to today’s post, I just felt like sharing.

Another thing that’s not relevant to today’s blog, but is funny as heck, is the story of a 64 year old Florida woman (where else?) who led police on a merry chase but took time to out to hit the drive-thru at McDonald’s. The fact that she was able to do this and elude police in the drive-thru lane tells you all you need to know about the competency of the police in Florida. They did finally catch her when they combined the forces of several counties.

Reading the above makes me think that maybe humans have become superfluous. Clearly, if she’s an example of the pinnacle of evolution, then maybe a do over is in the works.

Ben Muessig reports that an Australian had a similar idea. Unlike most ideas that die in a bar, he actually went and did something about it. He’s teaching robots to box.

Science fiction writers have long imagined the day when robots will rise up and attack humans. It’s safe to say that none of them pictured it looking anything like this.

An Australian draftsman has constructed a robotic boxing buddy, called Punching Pro, that uses two arms powered by 12-volt windshield-wiper motors to throw blows at its human sparring partners.

“This is an automated sparring apparatus that is heaps of fun; it looks and feels like you’re challenging a real fighter,” Punching Pro inventor Kris Tressider wrote on his website.

Even though the robot is made from parts that include steel and golf cart wheels, Tressider says its arms closely replicate human punching mechanics. That means it offers boxers a great opportunity to practice their combinations — and their bobbing and weaving — without having to face another fighter in the ring.

“You can experiment with offensive strategies, defensive positions and counter punching moves, whilst being physically trained to stay agile and keep your guard,” he wrote. “You get an extreme upper body workout that will improve your technique.”

Tressider got interested in boxing as a means of keeping fit, but he got bored with slugging the punching bag he had hung outside his home, according to Australian TV show “The New Inventors.”

So he decided to build a punching bag that punches back.

The result is a fighting robot that is highly customizable. Depending on a boxer’s height and weight class, fighters can make the android taller or shorter before sparring.

Users can also adjust the Punching Pro’s strength, speed and agility — and with an additional motor they can train the bot to throw different kinds of punches, such as hooks and jabs.

Punching Pro can take a pounding, thanks to its cushioned torso and spring-loaded neck.

“I have made recent modifications to the drive system to make the arms a lot more flexible and able to take a lot more punishment,” Tressider told Gizmag. “The next step is to start working on the software side of things so that it can change modes automatically.”

Tressider is seeking investors interested in helping him transform his robot from a contender into a champ. He hopes to sell the finished product for less than $1,000.

It was bad enough when robots learned how to play air hockey, thus giving them the basic skills required to fly planes, drive cars and so on. Now that they can punch our lights out they’re one step closer to realizing Frank Herbert’s dystopian machine ruled universe.

In other words, what could possibly go wrong?

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

It’s tough out there. The last 8 years have seen our economy launch into a tail spin not seen since the 1930’s. People who once held jobs of some prestige found themselves competing with kids just out of high school for minimum wage gigs. I actually applied, last year, for a job at a hot dog stand and was rejected because my experience wasn’t “wiener specific enough.” I was told this as I watched some kid, who had a job there, be very confused by condiments.

“Is the green stuff mustard? Or is the yellow stuff relish?”

Even so I count myself among the lucky ones because, after 13 months of unemployment, I finally found a job. During those 13 months I kept a running tally; I sent out 645 resumes, went on 103 job interviews, was offered 3 jobs where I could work for free (to see if I worked out) as long as I bought a car and 2 other jobs wherein the companies were in bankruptcy and had no money to pay me at that point.

However, I was offered the “opportunity” to ride things out with them and be rewarded (i.e., paid) later.

Much to your surprise I declined all five offers.

Nevertheless, during that time, I did pick up a bunch of temp work and was able to survive. If I didn’t keep the wolves completely at bay at least I kept them outside my door.

You just have to kick them to get past.

There’s even a restaurant in Waikiki that’s charging a 15% gratuity to its non-English speaking customers. Their reasoning, if not their legal standing, is simple; many countries don’t have a history of tipping and the wait staff has to pay taxes on 8% of the total bill whether they get tipped or not.

Memo to self: Avoid job in hospitality industry.

But I didn’t realize just how bad things were until I found out that world leaders were hawking wares on cable TV. Buck Wolf from ABOUT.com reports that William, the future king of England, and his fiancée Kate are pushing a line of royal rubbbers.

And, no, not the kind your kids wear on their feet on rainy days.

You know you’ve hit the big time when a commemorative condom is issued in your honor… so William & Kate, your moment has arrived.

Heritage Condoms, a British company (of course), has unveiled a special condom to commemorate the upcoming nuptials… complete with a Web site that reads, “lie back and thank of England.”

“Combining the strength of a Prince with the yielding sensitivity of a Princess-to-be, Crown Jewels condoms promise a royal union of pleasure. Truly a King amongst Condoms,” the company says.

Of course, the first job of the future king is to get busy making a replacement… so it makes sense that these condoms actually promise no protection.

It says right on the company’s Web site: “Crown Jewels Royal Wedding Souvenir Condoms are a novelty condom not suitable for contraception or protection against STDs.”

In other words the condoms, like the British Royal Family, are as useless as suspenders for a snake.

Not to be outdone in having its leaders humiliated, America has been dragged into the fray by the most American of institutions, Kentucky Fried Chicken. Dave Thier at AOL News reports that KFC has been using President Obama to sell deep fried fish sandwiches in China.

At first glance, it would seem that Barack Obama has returned to the passionate “change” rhetoric he deployed in his presidential campaign, except with a curious new focus: fish fillet sandwiches.

“Change, not only for your mom, but for you, your stomach, for a better taste!” he proclaims in the video, before being tragically crushed by a giant sandwich.

On closer inspection, however, it turns out that the White House has not adopted a bold new initiative to revitalize the economy by creating thousands of new jobs in the fried entree sector. It’s an ad from KFC China, which used an Obama look-alike to hock its fried food in the run-up to Chinese President Hu Jintao’s visit to the United States in January.

In China, KFC is much larger than other American brands such as McDonald’s, operating 3,200 locations in the country, according to Bloomberg. After the video hit the American corner of the Internet, however, Yum Brands Inc., which operates KFC, quickly retreated.

“The ad was created in Hong Kong for the Hong Kong market only. It was meant to be a spoof and no disrespect was intended. It is no longer airing and will not be re-aired,” the company said in a statement.

This isn’t the first time KFC has ended up embarrassed after a regional ad has gone international. Last year, an Australian ad that featured a white soccer fan calming down a bunch of rowdy black spectators with fried chicken didn’t go over particularly well when American viewers got wind.

Who knew that if you went out for Chinese in China you’d be more likely to get a bucket of chicken than an order of egg rolls? Well, I guess that’s the global economy these days. If people want to have artery clogging foods they’re going to find a way to get them. Just like they do with porn.

So, as you sit home filling in your APL103F for the 17th time, so that you can hand it over to the same person you handed the other 16 versions of your APL103F over to just so you can hear that you haven’t turned in your APL103F which is why your benefits are being denied, again, keep in mind that things could be worse.

Much worse.

You could be selling condoms for fish.

Before we rip on the Chinese for being clinically insane, we must first step back and look in our own mirror. Weddings have, throughout the centuries, been sacred moments in people’s lives wherein they vow to love, honor and cherish each other for as long as they both shall live. At least that’s the basic idea. These events have been held in pompous surroundings or simple vestibules, but the core concept of a sacrosanct ceremony has been adhered to for time immemorial.

Not so much so anymore.

One of my best friends was married by an Elvis impersonator. Another was cleaved to his buxom bride by a Ferengi. Across this glorious globe of ours people have been married wearing body paint or, if that’s too much effort, nothing at all.

You wanna be married by Storm Troopers? There’s a chapel for that. WWII reenactment with authentic Nazi uniforms? Gotcha covered. All zombies all the time? Not a problem. You need pseudo-Na Vi to make your special day? I know a place that would be honored to see you. Pretty much, if you can dream it, you can be it.

So while there may be a certain segment of the population who gets all serious about the subject of the sanctity of marriage, I think it’s safe to say that ship has sailed so we may as well enjoy the view.

Even so, I must admit to be taken mildly aback at this latest development. You can now visit your local McDonald’s in Hong Kong and be married by the staff.

Slated to begin sometime in January, the upcoming McWeddings will first appear for a test period at three major McDonald’s branches. They’ll be offered in packages starting at HK$1000 ($129), which is a major savings from the typical HK$10,000 or $1,300 price of a Hong Kong wedding.

Included with the reservation is a personalized menu, decorations, McDonald’s-themed gifts, a special apple-pie wedding cake, and a lone fry in place of the traditional cherry a couple shares prior to kissing.

It’s essentially an ultra-cheap and fun way to get married. It’s kind of like an American couple getting married in a Las Vegas casino. Similarly, there are a couple striking caveats. For one, couples who opt for a McWedding aren’t guaranteed any privacy whatsoever. Other customers who walk in to grab a bite are welcome to watch the ceremony. In addition, McDonald’s doesn’t carry any liquor or beer, so there’ll be no drinking.

This whole fiasco all started when a couple who originally met at a Hong-Kong-based McDonald’s decided to get married there. The word quickly spread, prompting couples all across the country to call into McDonald’s asking to make a reservation for their own wedding. Thus a trend was born.

It’s not the most romantic idea in the world, but it certainly is cheap. More importantly, you get a bunch of free Happy Meal toys with it. And well, there’s nothing quite (like) playing with your toys while naked at your honeymoon.

I’m not exactly sure I want to share that particular intimate moment with Mayor McCheese, but to each his own I guess.

Nevertheless, the McWedding stills seems more reverential than a bunch of fat guys getting their funk on in a church. But that could just be me.

I have, in my life, bought the following items at a drive thru: fast food, booze, books, music, a Frisbee and a T-shirt. Somehow I have missed the Drive Thru Strip Club, the Drive Thru Wedding Chapel (boy, it sure would be fun to get those two confused) and several other drive thru businesses that confuse the heck out of me.

Seriously? A drive thru emergency room?

“Hey doc, can you yank this here bullet outta me? I gotta get to the bar.”

But Alabama now boasts a drive thru, directly across from a McDonald’s, that is either the greatest idea in the history of man or completely screwed up.

Yep, you guessed it, a drive thru sex toy shop.

Jay Reeves of MSNBC (and no relation to Steve as far as I know) reports that you can now fill your tummy, and every orifice, without ever leaving your car.

Gabrielle Silva takes down a customer’s order from the drive-thru window, stuffs a bag full of products and passes it outside to the couple waiting in a car.

“Thanks, and I put some free condoms in there, too!” Silva chirps.

In this technology-savvy north Alabama city, visitors won’t just find burgers and prescriptions at the drive-thru window.

A “romance” store called Pleasures offers a rare convenience not only for these parts but nationally: a drive-through with adult novelties for sale. Business is brisk so far, with cars sometimes lining up three deep for vibrators, lubricants, lingerie and other risque items.

“It’s been doing well, and really well on nights when it’s cold or rainy,” said employee Toni Kennedy. “Discretion and the ease of it are big, and convenience. We’re Americans. We like everything convenient.”

Even sex toys, as much as elected officials in Alabama have tried to prevent them from being sold in the conservative, Bible Belt state.

Pleasures is owned by Florida businesswoman Sherri Williams, who fought the state for almost a decade over what’s considered by free-speech advocates to be one of the country’s toughest anti-obscenity laws. Among other things, the 1998 law banned the sale of products intended for sexual stimulation.

With two sex-toy stores in Alabama’s Tennessee Valley, Williams sued to overturn the law with the help of the American Civil Liberties Union. She won initially when a federal judge ruled in 1999 there was no rational basis for the law. But the state appealed and Williams lost, allowing the law to remain on the books even though it wasn’t enforced during the litigation.

The U.S. Supreme Court refused to hear the case in 2007, ending Williams’ challenge. Distribution of sex toys is a misdemeanor on the first offense with a maximum penalty of a $10,000 fine and one year in jail, although the law doesn’t ban possession.

But the law has a loophole that allows for the sale of sex toys that are needed for unspecified “medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial, or law enforcement” purposes, and Williams jumped through it. Customers buying toys — items that can be used for sexual stimulation — fill out an anonymous form with 10 questions including whether they or a partner have difficulty with sexual fulfillment.

In November, she held the grand opening for an expanded Pleasures store in an old bank building at a busy intersection. Williams first opened in the Tennessee Valley in 1993; this is her second expansion, and she has a smaller store in nearby Decatur.

It seemed like a waste not to use the old drive-thru window once run by bank tellers, so Silva and her co-workers now sell all sorts of adult products from the side of the building. Just like at a fast-food restaurant, there’s a brightly lit sign outside with products and prices — herbal “enhancement pills” are $8 per dose. Williams believes her drive-thru is the first in the country to offer adult novelties for sale.

The woman in one car wanted a rubber toy that spins and pulses. A couple in another vehicle stopped by for free condoms, which are advertised on a sign visible from University Drive, a main drag through town.

A few yards away from Pleasures, on the other side of a curb, workers at a neighboring McDonald’s restaurant dish out fries and burgers.

Williams runs what she calls an “upscale” adult store, and using an old bank building with a brick exterior and manicured shrubs outside doesn’t hurt the image.

“It actually has two vaults,” Williams said. “It has a full-blown vault upstairs, and the basement is poured concrete with a vault door. This was a 7,200-square-foot bank.”

Huntsville is a high-tech government and military town, and Pleasures workers say their customers include soldiers and couples based at the Army’s Redstone Arsenal and workers from NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center.

On a busy Thursday night, the clientele looks like the crowd at the mall down the street — young and old, singles and couples.

Inside, the shop has bright lights and royal-purple walls. The mood is mostly light, with friends giggling as they browse shelves full of rubber and plastic playthings.

But there’s a more serious side to the business, too.

“People come in and say, ‘I need something to save my marriage.’ I’ve had that a million times,” said Samantha Todd, who has worked at Pleasure for 2 1/2 years. “I’ve had people come in and cry. It can be very serious.”

The store includes an “intimacy clinic” that opens next month and will offer sexual counseling to couples and groups, but there are no how-to classes; all the assistance is verbal. It also sells instructional videos, books and a few magazines.

Employees check the ID of everyone who enters the store — customers must be at least 18.

Police say they’ve had no complaints over Pleasures and don’t pay it more attention than other stores.

“Right now there’s not really anything for us to do with it,” said Mark Roberts, a spokesman with the Huntsville Police Department.

The head of a New York-based nonprofit group that campaigns for tougher anti-obscenity statutes wishes government officials would work harder to stamp out businesses like Pleasures, and sex toys.

“I liken it to a cancer, a slow-moving cancer … and law enforcement is ignoring it,” said Robert W. Peters Jr., president of Morality in Media Inc. “It’s been a battle going back to the 1960s.”

Williams said her store and drive-thru serve a need for couples and individuals who need a little extra spice or excitement in their sex lives.

“Also,” she said, “the police have already said they have a million other things to do.”

First off, Mr. Peters needs to loosen up. It’s people like him who take all the fun out of fundamentalism.

Now, let’s take a look again at the legal loophole that allows this store to operate; ‘sex toys that are needed for unspecified “medical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial, or law enforcement” purposes.’

Can you imagine a cop show set in Alabama?

“This is Car 54. We’re in hot pursuit of the suspect going down Route 69.”

“Roger that Car 54. Do you have your vibrator handy?”

“That’s a big 10-4 and Elmer’s got a full 12 ounces of love lotion.”

I don’t even want to think about the judicial uses. After all, they do wear those robes kind of loose.

On the other hand, the educational uses seem kind of obvious. Certainly I’ve learned a thing or two from women who did their shopping before their homework.

So, here’s hoping you had a Happy New Year with a Happy Ending.

From all of us here in the World News Center, it’s good to be back.