News 

You Knew It Was Florida, Didn’t You?

Do you like horror movies? I hope so, because we’re about to live in one. we’re going to do a deep dive into this but, for now, this sentence sums up the idiocy we’re facing; “For the recent public forum regarding Oxitec’s recent permit application in the US, there were 31,174 comments opposing the release of the mosquitos and only 56 in support.” What are we yammering on about? The United States Government, with the blessing of the governments of Florida and Texas, are going release genetically modified mosquitoes into…

Florida + WalMart = Danger!

While the nice people at WalMart may think that they are a great place to shop and that people go there because it’s a great way to save 19% versus shopping at Jewel, the reality speaks otherwise. In Illinois, for example, you get a lot of people who wear tinfoil bikinis or big fuzzy bird outfits. These people, while bizarre as hell are usually harmless. The same applies to the folks out in Wyoming or Nevada (where bunghole fingering seems to be a state wide hobby). While you might not…

Thank God for Florida

Before we begin I just want to ask the nice people at the NRA a simple question; Not to say that you’re all racist, self serving, sociopaths who have no regard for humanity, but where was the call to arm all hoody wearing Skittle lovers when Trayvon Martin was shot? I’ll hang up and wait for your response. Moving on. It has to suck to be John Boehner right now. Believe it or not he’s not a moron. He has a narrow point of view, that is true, but he’s…

Why Police in Florida Should be Allowed to Drink on the Job – Heavily, if Need Be

Normally I would not be the first in line to champion the concept of getting heavily armed people drunk. I try not to be the font of very bad ideas. Yet, today, I am going to forgo common sense and advocate allowing police in Florida to carry a half pint in their patrol cars. Or at their desk or anywhere else they may feel it prudent. You see, after years of writing this blog it finally occurred to me that the men and women in blue who patrol Florida’s vast…

Florida + Animals = ?????

I have written on a few occasions about how it took Florida four tries to pass a law outlawing bestiality. We all had a good laugh at the time when they outlawed all sex between mammals until they found out that humans are mammals too. But, eventually, they got it right and it is now illegal in Florida to frolic with a filly in a flirtatious manner. Naturally, becasue this is Florida we’re talking about, someone is upset at the government’s intrusion into their private life. It should be noted…

Only in Florida

Back on April 26th of last year I noted that Florida was a fun place to go if you wanted to have sex with your pet. After that Florida went into full on defense mode and tried to outlaw bestiality. They, in the process, outlawed all sex between mammals unless it was specifically for husbandry. When it was pointed out that humans are mammals and that selling your wife or significant other for sex violates other laws it was quickly rescinded. I should note that this had to be pointed…

It’s Like Florida, but With More Cows

You’re looking at the pic to the left and wondering what the hell I have to pay to get a grown woman to pose like that. You’ll be pleased to know the answer is nothing. She posted that image all by herself. It seems she lives in Montana and her image has even been used to explain how Indonesian men can be seduced by cows. Udderly ridiculous you say? Sadly, no. It seems there is a whole sub-genre of humanity that finds bovines beautiful. Considering we live in a country…

Family Values Florida Style

We live in a country that espouses family values. Many brandish them like clubs. And, while I might think that such usage would contradict the core idea, enough people do so these days that it seems normal. Which is what makes articles like this one so much fun. As regular readers of this blog know, Florida recently outlawed bestiality. It took them four tries and one try actually outlawed all sex between mammals until someone broke out a 4th grade biology book (from another state) and realized what mammals were.…

Sex, Drugs and Florida

I couldn’t hop on the internet this morning so I was forced to wail and gnash my tooth in anguish that the world might be doing something interesting without me. HAH! Like that could ever happen. I am the most interesting thing in my universe. Well, the second most. Florida holds the main title. No matter how odd the things in my life may be they pale in comparison to things in Florida. I recently tried to explain Florida to some of our new Asian readers. It seems I made…