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The Road to Hell and All That

January 27, 2015 by

You can always count on WNC for a nice piece of tail.
You can always count on WNC for a nice piece of tail.
Today I am gong to share with you an idea that was lifted directly from the Staggeringly Bad Ideas Handbook. This is even worse than Montana’s “Kill it and Grill it” law which allows people to eat, possibly diseased, road kill. This is dumber than North Carolina’s attempt to outlaw gay marriage. They ended up stripping the rights of any unwed couple, gay, straight or mixed. One of the laughably predictable unintended consequences of that are that kids of divorced parents now have no rights since their parents aren’t married. You might want to avoid North Carolina for a while until they sort that out. Every single example I cited is what happens when stupid people try to do ‘important’ things. They can’t count from 1 to Z so they just kind of punt and claim they’re working for, as Heinlein put it, “dawillodapeepl.” Before I share with you why the idea I am talking about is so poorly thought out as to be the beginning of the end times, first allow me to share with you the idea itself.

Jennifer Kay, over at ABC News, reports that British scientists want to release millions up millions of genetically modified mosquitoes in Florida.

You knew it was going to be Florida, didn’t you?

Millions of genetically modified mosquitoes could be released in the Florida Keys if British researchers win approval to use the bugs against two extremely painful viral diseases.

Never before have insects with modified DNA come so close to being set loose in a residential U.S. neighborhood.

“This is essentially using a mosquito as a drug to cure disease,” said Michael Doyle, executive director of the Florida Keys Mosquito Control District, which is waiting to hear if the Food and Drug Administration will allow the experiment.

Dengue and chikungunya are growing threats in the U.S., but some people are more frightened at the thought of being bitten by a genetically modified organism. More than 130,000 people signed a Change.org petition against the experiment.

Even potential boosters say those responsible must do more to show that benefits outweigh the risks of breeding modified insects that could bite people.

“I think the science is fine, they definitely can kill mosquitoes, but the GMO issue still sticks as something of a thorny issue for the general public,” said Phil Lounibos, who studies mosquito control at the Florida Medical Entomology Laboratory.

Mosquito controllers say they’re running out of options. With climate change and globalization spreading tropical diseases farther from the equator, storm winds, cargo ships and humans carry these viruses to places like Key West, the southernmost U.S. city.

There are no vaccines or cures for dengue, known as “break-bone fever,” or chikungunya, so painful it causes contortions. U.S. cases remain rare.

Insecticides are sprayed year-round in the Keys’ charming and crowded neighborhoods. But Aedes aegypti, whose biting females spread these diseases, have evolved to resist four of the six insecticides used to kill them.

Enter Oxitec, a British biotech firm that patented a method of breeding Aedes aegypti with fragments of genes from the herpes simplex virus and E. coli bacteria as well as coral and cabbage. This synthetic DNA is commonly used in laboratory science and is thought to pose no significant risks to other animals, but it kills mosquito larvae.

Oxitec’s lab workers manually remove modified females, aiming to release only males, which don’t bite for blood like females do. The modified males then mate with wild females whose offspring die, reducing the population.

Oxitec has built a breeding lab in Marathon and hopes to release its mosquitoes in a Key West neighborhood this spring.

FDA spokeswoman Theresa Eisenman said no field tests will be allowed until the agency has “thoroughly reviewed all the necessary information.”

Company spokeswoman Chris Creese said the test will be similar in size to Oxitec’s 2012 experiment in the Cayman Islands, where 3.3 million modified mosquitoes were released over six months, suppressing 96 percent of the targeted bugs. Oxitec says a later test in Brazil also was successful, and both countries now want larger-scale projects.

But critics accused Oxitec of failing to obtain informed consent in the Caymans, saying residents weren’t told they could be bitten by a few stray females overlooked in the lab.

Instead, Oxitec said only non-biting males would be released, and that even if humans were somehow bitten, no genetically modified DNA would enter their bloodstream.

Neither claim is entirely true, outside observers say.

“I’m on their side, in that consequences are highly unlikely. But to say that there’s no genetically modified DNA that might get into a human, that’s kind of a gray matter,” said Lounibos.

Creese says Oxitec has now released 70 million of its mosquitoes in several countries and received no reports of human impacts caused by bites or from the synthetic DNA, despite regulatory oversight that encourages people to report any problems. “We are confident of the safety of our mosquito, as there’s no mechanism for any adverse effect on human health. The proteins are non-toxic and non-allergenic,” she said.

Oxitec should still do more to show that the synthetic DNA causes no harm when transferred into humans by its mosquitoes, said Guy Reeves, a molecular geneticist at Germany’s Max Planck Institute.

Key West resident Marilyn Smith wasn’t persuaded after Oxitec’s presentation at a public meeting. She says neither disease has had a major outbreak yet in Florida, so “why are we being used as the experiment, the guinea pigs, just to see what happens?”

First, some good news. Even if a female mosquito escapes the lab and bites you, the amount of tainted blood you could receive is ridiculously low. Your body filters out more toxins when you eat a burger.

But, you see, not one person in this article talked about the real concern. And you know why? Because they don’t give a fuck, that’s why.

The problem isn’t that you or I will be ravaged by Franken-Skeeters, the problem is that wildlife eats mosquitoes like I eat spicy food.

So while the scientists involved can, truthfully, say that no humans have been infected by a modified mosquito, that really isn’t the issue. The issue is all the other bugs and birds that will eat the Franken-Skeeters and then, in turn, be eaten by larger animals and then, eventually, be eaten by us. That process can take many years to play out. After all, entire eco systems don’t just crash in a day.

A great example would be fertilizer. On the plus side, it makes plants grow healthier. On the down side, it pollutes the water table so severely as to render it undrinkable. That is further exasperated by the whole process of making commercial manure. Massive quantities of potash and phosphorus minerals are mined and treated and used to ‘enhance’ the manure. Those mining processes are very unfriendly to the environment and the waste they generate also seeps into that water table you were counting on.

You know, to keep living?

People, now, almost 50 years later, see the issues and are acting to make corrections.

Not in Texas or Florida, of course, cause science is only a theory there, but most of the rest of the world is giving viable alternatives a chance. Simply put, unless you’re scooping up behind a horse or cow to get your fertilizer you’re probably part of the problem.

The thing is no one, not one single person, tested for consequences. They just tested the one thing they cared about, did it make plants grow better, and moved on. And the average jamoke still trusts the process enough to think “Of course they tested for the obvious stuff.”

Well, they didn’t and you can plainly see, if you read the comments from the scientists above, they have no intention of doing so. That kind of forethought no longer occurs to scientists who are punching a clock and feeding the coffers of their corporate masters.

Another great example is fracking. A safe and easy way to inject water, our old pal H2O, into the ground and use the pressure to bring out natural gas or petroleum.

What could possibly go wrong?

Well, when you put that much pressure on the mantel of the earth, something’s gotta give.

So, we end up wit this stat; # of earthquakes in Ohio pre fracking = 0 / # of earthquakes in Ohio post-fracking = up to a dozen per day and the number is growing.

There are also earthquakes in Oklahoma, Texas and any place else that fracking occurs.

None of those locations are on any major fault lines. Well, they weren’t until the frackers started making their own.

I’ll sum up simply. Every zombie movie you’ve ever seen is a great example of how everything from diseases to bad ideas can spread.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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This Sounds Like Fun

January 20, 2015 by

You can save water too!
You can save water too!
Before we begin today, I need to take a moment to stare goggle eyed at Florida. At St. Mary’s Medical Center in West Palm Beach a kid, and I mean teenager, passed himself off as a doctor. Not just any doctor either. He pretended to be an OB/GYN. That’s right, a young man, who turns out to be off his meds, was presenting himself to patients as a doctor. Fortunately he was too incompetent or scared to actually to treat a human so no harm was done. But how does this happen? When I was in the hospital last October every doctor I met had an ID card hanging on their shirt and knew the other doctors in the room with me. How many doctors do they have down there that no one noticed him? By the way, he didn’t do this once or twice. He was there every day for a month before a real doctor got suspicious. Just one more thing to worry about I guess. Maybe they didn’t know that Doogie Howser was fiction. It’s the only thing I can think of.

Speaking of your health – I am the segue king, after all – a new study has come out that may make you want to change the way you shower.

Phil Dumontet, over at Entrepreneur, posted this a couple of days ago and I decided to try it before I posted it online. While bracing in the extreme the first time you do it, you get used to it. And, yes, I did feel a hell of a lot better when I was done.

You’ll spend about 4,000 hours of your adult life showering — possibly more time than you spend reading, exercising or watching TV — but chances are, you’ve been doing it wrong.

If you take a morning shower, you probably think it energizes you for the day, but it can actually have the opposite effect.

In fact, a hot shower or bath is what many doctors recommend for people who have trouble falling asleep — to help them fall asleep. The reason: Emerging from a hot shower into cooler air brings a sudden decrease in body temperature, leading to a tranquil state of mind. This is helpful when you’re looking to fall asleep but not what you need before you start your day.

If your goal is to wake up in your morning shower, then you need to make a 90-second tweak.

The secret lies in the contrast. Here’s how to do it:

Once you’ve finished your normal cleaning ritual, crank the nozzle as cold as it goes, and stand under the water for about 30 seconds. Feel free to gasp or scream if it helps (some say it does).

After 30 seconds, turn the water up as hot as you can stand for another 30 seconds. This opens up the capillaries, increases blood flow and provides an all-around sense of stimulation.

Finally, cap it off with one more cycle of icy cold. Always end on cold.

You might be asking, “Why would I put myself through such discomfort first thing in the morning?” Because it works.

Hot and cold hydrotherapy has been used for thousands of years. In Finland, the sauna isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. The country is home to 2 million saunas (for a population of 5 million) with 99 percent of Finns enjoying the stress-relieving benefits of the sauna at least once a week.

I trust the Finns and scientific research provides further confirmation. Studies have shown that it provides a full-body tune-up, including:

Reduced stress: In a study on free radicals, 10 healthy subjects swam regularly in ice-cold water and showed adaptation to oxidative stress and hardening (an increased tolerance to stress). When building a business, combating stress is crucial for achieving clarity of mind.

A stronger immune system: Another study found that taking daily cold showers increases the number of disease-fighting white blood cells. In an attempt to warm up, the body speeds up its metabolic rate and activates the immune system, releasing more white blood cells.

Improved blood circulation: When exposed to cold water, our arteries and veins constrict. This temporary tightening allows blood to flow at a higher pressure, which is great for cardiovascular health.

Increased ability to burn fat: Research shows that cold-induced glucose uptake results in the creation of brown fat cells, which create warmth, burn energy and keep you slim.

Aid in battling depression: A 2008 study found that adapted cold showers stimulate the sympathetic nervous system and increase beta-endorphin levels in the blood. They send a high level of electrical impulses from peripheral nerve endings to the brain, which could produce an anti-depressant effect.

While trying out this new routine, you should fully expect discomfort but be equally prepared to start your day feeling more refreshed than ever before.

One thing I can’t emphasize enough is that the first time you hit the cold you feel like you’ve been hit with a hammer. Once you get past that you’ll be fine.

That said, if you’re taking heart meds you might want to skip this. It does make your rhythmic organ bounce a little.


Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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contact Bill McCormick
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Happy Thanksgiving!

November 27, 2014 by

You heard me, I said ‘eat me.’
I keep getting requests to repeat my Thanksgiving blogs. Here are the two most popular in chronological order. Happy Bird Day!

From November 23, 2012

Thanksgiving is red headed step child of holidays. It is a holiday that, in principal, celebrates all that is good and holy about humanity. In reality it is a celebration of a day that, within a century, led to the subjugation and murder of millions of people. As you can clearly see one does not blend well with the other. There is some good news though. Despite what you read on Facebook, the original Pilgrim Separatists, or whack job religious fundamentalists (depending on your point of view), did not kill the first Native Americans they met. In fact when Squanto, the liaison between the Wampanoag Indians and the Pilgrims, died he was eulogized by William Bradford, the Pilgirms’ governor, with these words, “Here Squanto fell ill of Indian fever, bleeding much at the nose, which the Indians take as a symptom of death, and within a few days he died. He begged the Governor to pray for him, that he might go to the Englishman’s God in heaven, and bequeathed several of his things to his English friends, as remembrances. His death was a great loss.” Of course part of his conversion was probably due to the fact that the Wampanoag considered him a traitor, many historians believe he was poisoned by his own people, and even went so far as to assign him a second (a/k/a assistant) for his dealings with the Pilgrims. That was, pretty much, unheard of for Indians.

While historians, those pesky people with a stick in their butt, point out that there were Thanksgiving celebrations prior to the one in Plymouth, they completely miss the point. It doesn’t matter if some Spanish soldiers survived in Florida for a while. What matters is that the Pilgrims stuck around and became an integral part of the developing nation. In fact their wildly conservative, separatist, views still underpin much of our nation’s beliefs, for good or ill.

So we look to the winter of 1621 as the beginning of Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving at Plymouth
In September 1620, a small ship called the Mayflower left Plymouth, England, carrying 102 passengers—an assortment of religious separatists seeking a new home where they could freely practice their faith and other individuals lured by the promise of prosperity and land ownership in the New World. After a treacherous and uncomfortable crossing that lasted 66 days, they dropped anchor near the tip of Cape Cod, far north of their intended destination at the mouth of the Hudson River. One month later, the Mayflower crossed Massachusetts Bay, where the Pilgrims, as they are now commonly known, began the work of establishing a village at Plymouth.

Throughout that first brutal winter, most of the colonists remained on board the ship, where they suffered from exposure, scurvy and outbreaks of contagious disease. Only half of the Mayflower’s original passengers and crew lived to see their first New England spring. In March, the remaining settlers moved ashore, where they received an astonishing visit from an Abenaki Indian who greeted them in English. Several days later, he returned with another Native American, Squanto, a member of the Pawtuxet tribe who had been kidnapped by an English sea captain and sold into slavery before escaping to London and returning to his homeland on an exploratory expedition. Squanto taught the Pilgrims, weakened by malnutrition and illness, how to cultivate corn, extract sap from maple trees, catch fish in the rivers and avoid poisonous plants. He also helped the settlers forge an alliance with the Wampanoag, a local tribe, which would endure for more than 50 years and tragically remains one of the sole examples of harmony between European colonists and Native Americans.

In November 1621, after the Pilgrims’ first corn harvest proved successful, Governor William Bradford organized a celebratory feast and invited a group of the fledgling colony’s Native American allies, including the Wampanoag chief Massasoit. Now remembered as American’s “first Thanksgiving”—although the Pilgrims themselves may not have used the term at the time—the festival lasted for three days. While no record exists of the historic banquet’s exact menu, the Pilgrim chronicler Edward Winslow wrote in his journal that Governor Bradford sent four men on a “fowling” mission in preparation for the event, and that the Wampanoag guests arrived bearing five deer. Historians have suggested that many of the dishes were likely prepared using traditional Native American spices and cooking methods. Because the Pilgrims had no oven and the Mayflower’s sugar supply had dwindled by the fall of 1621, the meal did not feature pies, cakes or other desserts, which have become a hallmark of contemporary celebrations.

I should note that wild dogs were plentiful back then. They are what Lewis and Clark would subsist on many years later.

So, obviously, the original Thanksgiving feast was different than the one you are going to see today.

Oh well, as long as we’re here, let’s take a look at how Thanksgiving changed over those early years.

The Pilgrims set ground at Plymouth Rock on December 11, 1620. Their first winter was devastating. At the beginning of the following fall, they had lost 46 of the original 102 who sailed on the Mayflower. But the harvest of 1621 was a bountiful one. And the remaining colonists decided to celebrate with a feast – including 91 natives who had helped the Pilgrims survive their first year. It is believed that the Pilgrims would not have made it through the year without the help of the natives. The feast was more of a traditional English harvest festival than a true “thanksgiving” observance. It lasted three days.

Governor William Bradford sent “four men fowling” after wild ducks and geese. It is not certain that wild turkey was part of their feast. However, it is certain that they had venison. The term “turkey” was used by the Pilgrims to mean any sort of wild fowl.

Another modern staple at almost every Thanksgiving table is pumpkin pie. But it is unlikely that the first feast included that treat. The supply of flour had been long diminished, so there was no bread or pastries of any kind. However, they did eat boiled pumpkin, and they produced a type of fried bread from their corn crop. There was also no milk, cider, potatoes, or butter. There was no domestic cattle for dairy products, and the newly-discovered potato was still considered by many Europeans to be poisonous. But the feast did include fish, berries, watercress, lobster, dried fruit, clams, venison, and plums.

This “thanksgiving” feast was not repeated the following year. Many years passed before the event was repeated. It wasn’t until June of 1676 that another Day of thanksgiving was proclaimed. On June 20 of that year the governing council of Charlestown, Massachusetts, held a meeting to determine how best to express thanks for the good fortune that had seen their community securely established. By unanimous vote they instructed Edward Rawson, the clerk, to proclaim June 29 as a day of thanksgiving. It is notable that this thanksgiving celebration probably did not include Native Americans, as the celebration was meant partly to be in recognition of the colonists’ recent victory over the “heathen natives,” (see the proclamation). By then, it had become apparent to the settlers that the natives were a hindrance to their quest for more land, so the good will they shared at the first feast had long been lost. A hundred years later, in October of 1777 all 13 colonies joined in a thanksgiving celebration. It also commemorated the patriotic victory over the British at Saratoga. But it was a one-time affair.

Yeah, a mere 55 years after that first harvest the Indians had gone from “Saviors and Protectors” to “Heathen Savages” and were fair game for being murdered by the nice people who claimed that killing savages, and anything else they could think of, was “(an) acceptable Service unto God by Jesus Christ.”

Their words, not mine.

In any case fast forward to 1863. The nation was embroiled in a very uncivil war and President Lincoln was looking for anything positive he could share with a torn country. He, like the four previous presidents, had received a letter from Sarah Josepha Hale, a writer who appeared in Boston Ladies’ Magazine, asking him to nationalize the holiday. Unlike the previous four, he did. He declared the last Thursday of November to be Thanksgiving. That went along fine until Franklin D. Roosevelt noted that some Novembers had five Thursdays, and no one did any Christmas shopping until after the holiday, so he declared that the fourth Thursday of November would be Thanksgiving, with hilarious results.

Some people claimed that the true holiday was the Republican one (Lincoln’s) and others held firm to the new proclamation and others still, Hi Texas!, claimed them both as national holidays. Finally in 1941, realizing that the country had more pressing issues, Congress declared the fourth Thursday as the national holiday and then told everyone to shut the f*** up.

Simply put, every Thanksgiving – excluding the one where Squanto and Bradford gutted some deer – has been marred by controversy and/or violence.

Which, given the historical precedents, makes perfect sense.

*********

From November 22, 2013

I have often called Thanksgiving the red headed step child of holidays. Now I have made red headed step children mad. So’ I’ll apologize to them – sorry, I tend to be a callous oaf – and just note that this holiday kind of gets shoved in the middle of other stuff. Most people go from the sexy cool of Halloween to the fiscal gluttony of Christmas without pausing. It’s gotten so bad that Sarah Palin was forced to announce she was against the War on Christmas in October. So you can see how Thanksgiving could get trampled. And now, with more and more stores caving in to pubic pressure to be open on the holiday so people can shop on Gray Thursday, my new name for the day before Black Friday, the holiday is taking another hit. I’ve already noted that there are, historically, several days that have earned the title “Black Friday” and none of them have anything to do with shopping. Since this year the Thanksgiving radio show will be today I figured I should take a moment to remind people how screwed up this day really is. For example, kiddie pageants all over the country celebrate out faithful Indian companion, Squanto. As I have noted before, that presents a problem.

In fact when Squanto, the liaison between the Wampanoag Indians and the Pilgrims, died he was eulogized by William Bradford, the Pilgirms’ governor, with these words, “Here Squanto fell ill of Indian fever, bleeding much at the nose, which the Indians take as a symptom of death, and within a few days he died. He begged the Governor to pray for him, that he might go to the Englishman’s God in heaven, and bequeathed several of his things to his English friends, as remembrances. His death was a great loss.” Of course part of his conversion was probably due to the fact that the Wampanoag considered him a traitor, many historians believe he was poisoned by his own people, and even went so far as to assign him a second (a/k/a assistant) for his dealings with the Pilgrims. That was, pretty much, unheard of for Indians.

Yeah, well, given that Squanto was, for reasons unknown, shunned by his tribe, captured and made a slave, taken to Europe, escaped 6 years later to return to America, was shunned again by his people and then taken in, reluctantly by the Pilgrims who offered him the worst eulogy ever. And the eulogy was due to the fact that his own people probably poisoned him. While a more interesting story than the one you’re used to it makes for a difficult children’s show.

Also, that “assistant” thing I mentioned was unheard of for the Indians. By treaty, hammered out by years of inter-tribal wars, each tribe assigned one voice for negotiations. So if that voice said the tribe would paint themselves pink and do the Hokey Pokey the tribe would simply say where and when. Assigning a second voice was a huge insult to Squanto and he would have known that.

There’s something else to consider as well. About 100 years previous there was a colony in Roanoke Virginia. According to people who have no clue about what they’re talking about, the colony disappeared without a trace. Even worse, they left a sign that no human can decipher with the word CROATOAN on it.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay, say hi to the Croatoan Indians, also known as members of the Lumbee Indian family. Yes, they still exist and their web site is current. The settlers, as was common with English settlers, were woefully ignorant and arrogant. They crossed the ocean and just expected to find plenty of food and shelter. Oddly this wasn’t a good plan. While the land had been tended by the Indians who died out from the plague earlier, food still requires agriculture, a skill that eluded these city bred immigrants. So, hungry and lonely, they walked about two miles down river to the Croatoan settlement where the natives were naturists.

In other words their options were starvation and death or an island full of naked natives who were willing to share their food. They wisely chose door number 2.

Now, as I noted, English settlers were ignorant and arrogant. The Pilgrims were no different. When they arrived and found blue eyed, red skinned, natives who spoke English it never occurred to them that there might be an interesting story behind that. In fact they barely mentioned it. Because, just like in Star Trek, that’s the way things were supposed to be.

Oh, and Squanto wasn’t one of those. He learned English the old fashioned way, from his captors.

Anyway, thanks to Coolest Holiday Parties, we have a list of stupid trivia for you to win bar bets with.

The traditional cornucopia was a curved goat’s horn filled to brim with fruits and grains. According to Greek legend, Amalthea (a goat) broke one of her horns and offered it to Greek God Zeus as a sign of reverence. As a sign of gratitude, Zeus later set the goat’s image in the sky also known as constellation Capricorn. Cornucopia is the most common symbol of a harvest festival. A Horn shaped container, it is filled with abundance of the Earth’s harvest. It is also known as the ‘horn of plenty’.

It was not until 1941, that congress declared Thanksgiving as a national holiday. It was declared to be the fourth Thursday in November.

The first known thanksgiving feast or festival in North America was celebrated by Francisco Vásquez de Coronado and the people he called “Tejas” (members of the Hasinai group of Caddo-speaking Native Americans).

Here’s one of those funny Thanksgiving facts: Turkeys have heart attacks. When the Air Force was conducting test runs and breaking the sound barrier, fields of turkeys would drop dead.

Turducken, a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken, is becoming more popular in Thanksgiving (originated in Louisiana). A turducken is a de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are filled with, at the very least, a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture (although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird).

Fossil evidence shows that turkeys roamed the Americas 10 million years ago.

91% of Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving Day.

There are regional differences as to the “stuffing” (or “dressing”) traditionally served with the turkey. Southerners generally make theirs from cornbread, while in other parts of the country white bread is the base. One or several of the following may be added: oysters, apples, chestnuts, raisins, celery and/or other vegetables, sausage or the turkey’s giblets.

Thomas Jefferson thought the concept of Thanksgiving was “the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever heard.”

Every President since Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving Day. But in 1939, 1940, and 1941 Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed Thanksgiving the third Thursday in November to lengthen the holiday shopping season. This upset people.

Fifty percent of Americans put the stuffing inside the Turkey.

The North American holiday season (generally the Christmas shopping season in the U.S.) traditionally begins when Thanksgiving ends, on “Black Friday” (the day after Thanksgiving); this tradition has held forth since at least the 1930s.

On the West Coast of the US, Dungeness crab is common as an alternate main dish instead of turkey, as crab season starts in early November.

Corn is one of the popular symbols of thanksgiving. It came in many varieties and colors – red, white, yellow and blue. Some Americans considered blue and white corn sacred. The oldest corns date 7000 years back and were grown in Mexico.

Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be a turkey.

Several people wanted to have an official day of thanksgiving, including George Washington, who proclaimed a National Day of Thanksgiving in 1789. Several people did not want it including President Thomas Jefferson.

Here’s one of the most unbelievable Thanksgivng facts: The Guinness Book of Records states that the greatest dressed weight recorded for a turkey is 39.09 kg (86 lbs), at the annual “heaviest turkey” competition held in London, England on December 12, 1989.

The first Thanksgiving was not a feast, but rather a time when Native Americans helped Pilgrims by bringing them food and helping them build off the land.

More than 40 million green bean casseroles are served on Thanksgiving.

Turkey is the traditional dish for the Thanksgiving feast. In the US, about 280 million turkeys are sold for the Thanksgiving celebrations. There is no official reason or declaration for the use of turkey. They just happened to be the most plentiful meat available at the time of the first Thanksgiving in 1621, starting the tradition.

Twenty percent of cranberries eaten are eaten on Thanksgiving.

The preliminary estimate of the number of turkeys raised in the United States in 2005 is 256 million. That’s down 3 percent from 2004. The turkeys produced in 2004 weighed 7.3 billion pounds altogether and were valued at $3.1 billion.

Turkeys were one of the first animals in the Americas to be domesticated.

Columbus thought that the land he discovered was connected to India, where peacocks are found in considerable number. And he believed turkeys were a type of peacock (they’re actually a type of pheasant). So he named them “tuka”, which is “peacock” in the Tamil language of India.

The ‘wishbone’ of the turkey is used in a good luck ritual on Thanksgiving Day.

The cranberry is a symbol and a modern diet staple of thanksgiving. Originally called crane berry, it derived its name from its pink blossoms and drooping head, which reminded the Pilgrims of a crane.

The Plymouth Pilgrims dined with the Wampanoag Indians for the First Thanksgiving.

The different nicknames for Thanksgiving Day: “Turkey Day” (after the traditional Thanksgiving dinner), “T-Day” (an abbreviation of either “Thanksgiving Day” or “Turkey Day”), “Macy’s Day (this is exclusive to New York City – it is a reference to the Macy’s Day Parade), “Yanksgiving” (Canadians sometimes call the Thanksgiving in the US as “Yanksgiving” to distinguish it from the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday.)

The First Thanksgiving lasted for three days.

Contrary to popular belief, Native Americans did not eat cranberries. They did, however, find them extremely useful for dying fabric and decorating pottery.

The Native Americans wore deerskin and fur, not blankets.

A spooked turkey can run at speeds up to 20 miles per hour. They can also burst into flight approaching speeds between 50-55 mph in a matter of seconds.

Turkeys are first documented over two thousand years ago in Central America and Mexico.

In October of 1777 all 13 colonies celebrated Thanksgiving for the first time; however it was a one-time affair commemorating a victory over the British at Saratoga.

There are three places in the United States named after the holiday’s traditional main course — Turkey, Texas; Turkey Creek, La.; and Turkey, N.C. There are also nine townships around the country named “Turkey,” with three in Kansas.

Sarah Josepha Hale, a magazine editor, campaigned to make Thanksgiving a National Holiday in 1827 and succeeded.

Wild turkeys, while technically the same species as domesticated turkeys, have a very different taste from farm-raised turkeys. Almost all of the meat is “dark” (even the breasts) with a more intense turkey flavor. Older heritage breeds also differ in flavor.

Actually, Sarah Josepha Hale started campaigning for Thanksgiving in 1827 but it wasn’t designated as a holiday until Lincoln signed the Thanksgiving Proclamation in 1863.

Old Abe did love his proclamations.

How-To Cook a Turkey With Kat from EyeHandy on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Visit us on Rebel Mouse for even more fun!
contact Bill McCormick
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Them’s Be Stoopid

May 18, 2014 by

You can buy this at Wal Mart.
You can buy this at Wal Mart.
I have long bemoaned the dumbing down of America. There seems to be a growing number of humans who sincerely believe that their opinion carries as much weight as actual facts. They are 100% wrong but that fact doesn’t even enter their equations. If I may insult the word equations. It’s one thing to believe in something. Regular readers know that I believe in God. Mostly because I refuse to believe that I’m the most evolved being in the universe. Believing in God does not, by any stretch, require me to believe all of the hateful things that a god is supposed to enjoy. My beliefs are simple. Since I do not want to marry someone of the same sex I have not done so. See how easy that is? Just because I’m not comfortable loving a man as I would love a woman should have no impact on those who are wired differently. The same applies to most things. And yet there are those, a growing contingent it seems, who feel contrariwise. They firmly believe that all truth flows through them. That if they don’t understand it then it’s not true. And that’s not only stupid, it’s dangerous. Diseases long conquered are making a comeback thanks to these idiots. Science long settled is being bludgeoned into meaningless sound bites. Facts are now treated as politically skewed opinions. There are people who firmly believe that hex signs and such have as much validity as science. And thanks to these people children are dying and people are rediscovering that human rights are not a given.

As I said, this is not just stupid, it’s dangerous.

Thansk to my pal Jon Schnepp, I found out that Jonathon Gatehouse, at MacLeans, says things are even worse than I thought.

South Carolina’s state beverage is milk. Its insect is the praying mantis. There’s a designated dance—the shag—as well a sanctioned tartan, game bird, dog, flower, gem and snack food (boiled peanuts). But what Olivia McConnell noticed was missing from among her home’s 50 official symbols was a fossil. So last year, the eight-year-old science enthusiast wrote to the governor and her representatives to nominate the Columbian mammoth. Teeth from the woolly proboscidean, dug up by slaves on a local plantation in 1725, were among the first remains of an ancient species ever discovered in North America. Forty-three other states had already laid claim to various dinosaurs, trilobites, primitive whales and even petrified wood. It seemed like a no-brainer. “Fossils tell us about our past,” the Grade 2 student wrote.

And, as it turns out, the present, too. The bill that Olivia inspired has become the subject of considerable angst at the legislature in the state capital of Columbia. First, an objecting state senator attached three verses from Genesis to the act, outlining God’s creation of all living creatures. Then, after other lawmakers spiked the amendment as out of order for its introduction of the divinity, he took another crack, specifying that the Columbian mammoth “was created on the sixth day with the other beasts of the field.” That version passed in the senate in early April. But now the bill is back in committee as the lower house squabbles over the new language, and it’s seemingly destined for the same fate as its honouree—extinction.

What has doomed Olivia’s dream is a raging battle in South Carolina over the teaching of evolution in schools. Last week, the state’s education oversight committee approved a new set of science standards that, if adopted, would see students learn both the case for, and against, natural selection.

Charles Darwin’s signature discovery—first published 155 years ago and validated a million different ways since—long ago ceased to be a matter for serious debate in most of the world. But in the United States, reconciling science and religious belief remains oddly difficult. A national poll, conducted in March for the Associated Press, found that 42 per cent of Americans are “not too” or “not at all” confident that all life on Earth is the product of evolution. Similarly, 51 per cent of people expressed skepticism that the universe started with a “big bang” 13.8 billion years ago, and 36 per cent doubted the Earth has been around for 4.5 billion years.

The American public’s bias against established science doesn’t stop where the Bible leaves off, however. The same poll found that just 53 per cent of respondents were “extremely” or “very confident” that childhood vaccines are safe and effective. (Worldwide, the measles killed 120,000 people in 2012. In the United States, where a vaccine has been available since 1963, the last recorded measles death was in 2003.) When it comes to global warming, only 33 per cent expressed a high degree of confidence that it is “man made,” something the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has declared is all but certain. (The good news, such as it was in the AP poll, was that 69 per cent actually believe in DNA, and 82 per cent now agree that smoking causes cancer.)

If the rise in uninformed opinion was limited to impenetrable subjects that would be one thing, but the scourge seems to be spreading. Everywhere you look these days, America is in a rush to embrace the stupid. Hell-bent on a path that’s not just irrational, but often self-destructive. Common-sense solutions to pressing problems are eschewed in favour of bumper-sticker simplicities and blind faith.

In a country bedevilled by mass shootings—Aurora, Colo.; Fort Hood, Texas; Virginia Tech—efforts at gun control have given way to ever-laxer standards. Georgia recently passed a law allowing people to pack weapons in state and local buildings, airports, churches and bars. Florida is debating legislation that will waive all firearm restrictions during state emergencies like riots or hurricanes. (One opponent has moved to rename it “an Act Relating to the Zombie Apocalypse.”) And since the December 2012 massacre of 20 children and six staff at Sandy Hook Elementary School, in Newtown, Conn., 12 states have passed laws allowing guns to be carried in schools, and 20 more are considering such measures.

The cost of a simple appendectomy in the United States averages $33,000 and it’s not uncommon for such bills to top six figures. More than 15 per cent of the population has no health insurance whatsoever. Yet efforts to fill that gaping hole via the Affordable Health Care Act—a.k.a. Obamacare—remain distinctly unpopular. Nonsensical myths about the government’s “real” intentions have found so much traction that 30 per cent still believe that there will be official “death panels” to make decisions on end-of-life care.

Since 2001, the U.S. government has been engaged in an ever-widening program of spying on its own—and foreign—citizens, tapping phones, intercepting emails and texts, and monitoring social media to track the movements, activities and connections of millions. Still, many Americans seem less concerned with the massive violations of their privacy in the name of the War on Terror, than imposing Taliban-like standards on the lives of others. Last month, the school board in Meridian, Idaho voted to remove The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie from its Grade 10 supplemental reading list following parental complaints about its uncouth language and depictions of sex and drug use. When 17-year-old student Brady Kissel teamed up with staff from a local store to give away copies at a park as a protest, a concerned citizen called police. It was the evening of April 23, which was also World Book Night, an event dedicated to “spreading the love of reading.”

If ignorance is contagious, it’s high time to put the United States in quarantine.

Americans have long worried that their education system is leaving their children behind. With good reason: national exams consistently reveal how little the kids actually know. In the last set, administered in 2010 (more are scheduled for this spring), most fourth graders were unable to explain why Abraham Lincoln was an important figure, and only half were able to order North America, the U.S., California and Los Angeles by size. Results in civics were similarly dismal. While math and reading scores have improved over the years, economics remains the “best” subject, with 42 per cent of high school seniors deemed “proficient.”

They don’t appear to be getting much smarter as they age. A 2013 survey of 166,000 adults across 20 countries that tested math, reading and technological problem-solving found Americans to be below the international average in every category. (Japan, Finland, Canada, South Korea and Slovakia were among the 11 nations that scored significantly higher.)

The trends are not encouraging. In 1978, 42 per cent of Americans reported that they had read 11 or more books in the past year. In 2014, just 28 per cent can say the same, while 23 per cent proudly admit to not having read even one, up from eight per cent in 1978. Newspaper and magazine circulation continues to decline sharply, as does viewership for cable news. The three big network supper-hour shows drew a combined average audience of 22.6 million in 2013, down from 52 million in 1980. While 82 per cent of Americans now say they seek out news digitally, the quality of the information they’re getting is suspect. Among current affairs websites, Buzzfeedlogs almost as many monthly hits as the Washington Post.

The advance of ignorance and irrationalism in the U.S. has hardly gone unnoticed. The late Columbia University historian Richard Hofstadter won the Pulitzer prize back in 1964 for his book Anti-Intellectualism in American Life, which cast the nation’s tendency to embrace stupidity as a periodic by-product of its founding urge to democratize everything. By 2008, journalist Susan Jacoby was warning that the denseness—“a virulent mixture of anti-rationalism and low expectations”—was more of a permanent state. In her book, The Age of American Unreason, she posited that it trickled down from the top, fuelled by faux-populist politicians striving to make themselves sound approachable rather than smart. Their creeping tendency to refer to everyone—voters, experts, government officials—as “folks” is “symptomatic of a debasement of public speech inseparable from a more general erosion of American cultural standards,” she wrote. “Casual, colloquial language also conveys an implicit denial of the seriousness of whatever issue is being debated: talking about folks going off to war is the equivalent of describing rape victims as girls.”

That inarticulate legacy didn’t end with George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. Barack Obama, the most cerebral and eloquent American leader in a generation, regularly plays the same card, droppin’ his Gs and dialling down his vocabulary to Hee Hawstandards. His ability to convincingly play a hayseed was instrumental in his 2012 campaign against the patrician Mitt Romney; in one of their televised debates the President referenced “folks” 17 times.

An aversion to complexity—at least when communicating with the public—can also be seen in the types of answers politicians now provide the media. The average length of a sound bite by a presidential candidate in 1968 was 42.3 seconds. Two decades later, it was 9.8 seconds. Today, it’s just a touch over seven seconds and well on its way to being supplanted by 140-character Twitter bursts.

Little wonder then that distrust—of leaders, institutions, experts, and those who report on them—is rampant. A YouGov poll conducted last December found that three-quarters of Americans agreed that science is a force for good in the world. Yet when asked if they truly believe what scientists tell them, only 36 per cent of respondents said yes. Just 12 per cent expressed strong confidence in the press to accurately report scientific findings. (Although according to a 2012 paper by Gordon Gauchat, a University of North Carolina sociologist, the erosion of trust in science over the past 40 years has been almost exclusively confined to two groups: conservatives and regular churchgoers. Counterintuitively, it is the most highly educated among them—with post-secondary education—who harbour the strongest doubts.)

The term “elitist” has become one of the most used, and feared, insults in American life. Even in the country’s halls of higher learning, there is now an ingrained bias that favours the accessible over the exacting.

“There’s a pervasive suspicion of rights, privileges, knowledge and specialization,” says Catherine Liu, the author of American Idyll: Academic Antielitism as Cultural Critiqueand a film and media studies professor at University of California at Irvine. Both ends of the political spectrum have come to reject the conspicuously clever, she says, if for very different reasons; the left because of worries about inclusiveness, the right because they equate objections with obstruction. As a result, the very mission of universities has changed, argues Liu. “We don’t educate people anymore. We train them to get jobs.” (Boomers, she says, deserve most of the blame. “They were so triumphalist in promoting pop culture and demoting the canon.”)

The digital revolution, which has brought boundless access to information and entertainment choices, has somehow only enhanced the lowest common denominators—LOL cat videos and the Kardashians. Instead of educating themselves via the Internet, most people simply use it to validate what they already suspect, wish or believe to be true. It creates an online environment where Jenny McCarthy, a former Playboy model with a high school education, can become a worldwide leader of the anti-vaccination movement, naysaying the advice of medical professionals.

Most perplexing, however, is where the stupid is flowing from. As conservative pundit David Frum recently noted, where it was once the least informed who were most vulnerable to inaccuracies, it now seems to be the exact opposite. “More sophisticated news consumers turn out to use this sophistication to do a better job of filtering out what they don’t want to hear,” he blogged.

But are things actually getting worse? There’s a long and not-so-proud history of American electors lashing out irrationally, or voting against their own interests. Political scientists have been tracking, since the early 1950s, just how poorly those who cast ballots seem to comprehend the policies of the parties and people they are endorsing. A wealth of research now suggests that at the most optimistic, only 70 per cent actually select the party that accurately represents their views—and there are only two choices.

Larry Bartels, the co-director of the Center for the Study of Democratic Institutions at Vanderbilt University, says he doubts that the spreading ignorance is a uniquely American phenomenon. Facing complex choices, uncertain about the consequences of the alternatives, and tasked with balancing the demands of jobs, family and the things that truly interest them with boring policy debates, people either cast their ballots reflexively, or not at all. The larger question might be whether engagement really matters. “If your vision of democracy is one in which elections provide solemn opportunities for voters to set the course of public policy and hold leaders accountable, yes,” Bartels wrote in an email to Maclean’s. “If you take the less ambitious view that elections provide a convenient, non-violent way for a society to agree on who is in charge at any given time, perhaps not.”

A study by two Princeton University researchers, Martin Gilens and Benjamin Page, released last month, tracked 1,800 U.S. policy changes between 1981 and 2002, and compared the outcome with the expressed preferences of median-income Americans, the affluent, business interests and powerful lobbies. They concluded that average citizens “have little or no independent influence” on policy in the U.S., while the rich and their hired mouthpieces routinely get their way. “The majority does not rule,” they wrote.

Smart money versus dumb voters is hardly a fair fight. But it does offer compelling evidence that the survival of the fittest remains an unshakable truth even in American life. A sad sort of proof of evolution.

That last part is a solid reminder how much your vote counts. If you sit on the sidelines and allow idiots to get into office then you get the government you deserve.

So how do we fix this? Education. We stop legislators from gutting curricula and force kids to learn actual facts. The earth is more than 6,000 years old. Jesus never rode a velociratpor. Vaccines cure diseases, they don’t cause them. Drinking bleach does not cure AIDS. 2+2=4. The universe is infinite. Life can, and most likely does, exist on other worlds. There is no such thing as Bigfoot. There is no such thing as UFOs. Contrails are not chemtrails. 9/11 was caused by a small band of terrorists, not by the world’s largest religion. Fluoride does not allow the government to track your movements via satellites. Seeing a man kiss another man will not make you gay any more than drinking milk will make you a cow.

We need to teach them these facts and more if we ever hope of having a better world.

It can be done, but we need to get off our complacent asses to make it happen.

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Dem’s Difrunt Dan Us

April 23, 2014 by

What was your first date like?
What was your first date like?
We’ve been touching on some serious stuff like science and reality and stuff. And we have noted that there are people who are not convinced that this whole reality thing exists. Bigfoot? Sure. Science? Well that’s just a theory. So I thought that today might be a fun day to take a look at these reality deniers. And where do we find them? Well, sure, we could head to any Tea Party rally but that’s picking low hanging fruit. So where then? Well, you know us, we are going to look for even lower hanging fruit. We want that stuff scraping the ground. Therefore I direct your jaundiced gaze south to the lovely realm of Florida. An empathetic state that has made it legal for the police to confiscate the clothes and personal possessions of homeless people. No, seriously, they did that. Specifically in Ft. Lauderdale because all the poor people their economy created make the rich people queasy. Yes, you may feel free to insert a “head desk” here. While I’m here I should note that Florida’s bestiality law is still being challenged in court as an infringement on personal freedoms. Just in case you were worried I was going to the wrong place to look for morons.

So let’s get this party started.

As an intelligent adult you may have figured out that getting arrested is not a good thing. Furthermore, asking the arresting officer to drop down and blow you might, just might, lead to additional charges. You would know that. Charles Bolen has no such limitations.

A South Florida man is accused of being a nuisance and then making some pretty serious threats to the arresting officer.

Charles Bolen, 53, of Pompano Beach, was arrested Friday in Palm Beach Gardens.

He’s accused of yelling at customers in front of a Walgreen’s store on Northlake Boulevard, and threatening to hurt them.

Bolen then took his act down the street to Pep Boys, where he “demanded money for beer,” according to his arrest report.

Once he was convinced to leave the store, he told officers to “wait until I get across the street and you will see what I am going to do,” the report said.

That’s when the officer started to arrest him, prompting Bolen to say “you are not taking me to jail.”

As he was being taken to jail, Bolen told the officer he was going to “****” the officer’s “wife in the ***,” according to the report.

And the final insult came when Bolen was in his holding cell, when he “unzipped his pants” and told the officer to perform a sex act on him, the report said.

Bolen is charged with disorderly conduct and exposure of sexual organs.

Of course, since this is Florida, the incident is far from isolated, as evidenced by the tawdry tale of The City Pimp.

A homeless man who goes by the nickname “City Pimp” was arrested after allegedly eating fast food from Wendy’s while lying in front of another business with his pants down and his genitals exposed.

Anthony Johnson, 54, was arrested in front of a Walgreen’s store in the 1200 block of Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard on Wednesday afternoon.

According to the arrest report, Johnson “was laying in the front of the business with his pants around his knees, exposing his genitals.”

The arresting officer also wrote in the report that the Walgreen’s manager said Johnson “is a constant problem to the business, and they receive numerous complaints a day about him on the property.”

Johnson was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition.

Well, to be fair, Wendy’s does make one of the best fast food chain burgers in the country. I’m not sure I’d get that excited about them, but that’s just me.

Of course not all food related police calls involve genitalia, I know – you’re shocked, sometimes it just involves some crack and linguine. With the linguine being used as a weapon.

Yeah, this is the state that just keeps on giving.

A woman described as a “crazy” acting “crackhead” got locked up after accusations she hurled pasta at a man, punched him in the mouth and busted a coffee cup, according to a recently released affidavit.

What could be called the case of the linguine launching lady began boiling late on April 5 as Port St. Lucie police went to an address in the 2400 block of Southeast Garden Terrace.

A man identified as the victim said he was expecting Jeri Rossello, 45, to drop by and get some of her stuff. She came in and walked to the kitchen. Rossello, he said, grabbed a pasta meal from the refrigerator and threw it at him.

Pasta is a general term for a variety of thin, dough-based foodstuffs of Italian origin sometimes served with meatballs. Available in a cornucopia of shapes and dimensions, pasta typically is rigid until boiled. It’s often served with a sauce, such as marinara, pesto, bolognese, alfredo or Fra Diavolo, with types of pasta including angel hair, linguine and elbow macaroni.

Meanwhile, the victim said, Rossello smashed a coffee mug and pulled phone wires from the wall. He said she punched him in the mouth and took off in a U-Haul van.

He described Rossello as a “crack head” who acted “crazy,” telling police she may have gone to a different address where she’s staying with another dude.

Investigators eventually found Rossello, who said she tried some leftover linguine but put it back in the refrigerator. She said there was no physical or verbal altercation.

Asked about the victim’s injured lip, Rossello said he must have done that to himself.

Rossello, of the 1500 block of Southeast Balcourt Court in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a misdemeanor battery charge.

Go back and read that again. The author felt that he needed take an entire paragraph to explain what pasta is and how it’s used.

That’s what’s called “speaking to your target audience” i.e., morons.

But what do all these fine citizens have in common? Well, (1), they’re citizens of Florida and, (2) they are products of the Floridian educational system. And who’s the shining example of that fine institution? Nancy Louise Vaughn would be a good contender. After all not many teachers are so hammered at 7:00 AM that they get a DUI on their way to school.

An Estero High School teacher was arrested and charged with driving under the influence Monday morning.

Just before 7 a.m., a deputy was dispatched after receiving calls about a reckless driver on Imperial Parkway and Terry Street. The callers advised that the driver of a red car was going 20 mph and was swerving in both lanes.

The deputy caught up to the red vehicle and observed the same behavior as described by the callers. Subsequently, the deputy conducted a traffic stop.

The driver identified herself as Nancy Louise Vaughn, 56, and asked the deputy why she was being stopped, claiming she was not speeding and only going 45 mph.

While talking to Vaughn, the deputy said she had a glassy look in her eyes and had a slow reaction to his questions. The deputy said she could not keep her balance when she was asked to step out of the vehicle.

Vaughn was asked to perform some sobriety exercises, which the deputy says she failed.

The deputy concluded that she was impaired and she was arrested.

When asked if she had been drinking or possibly taking any prescription drugs, Vaughn told the deputy she had not.

She then told the deputy that she was a school teacher and was on her way to work at Estero High School.

Over two hours after she was stopped, deputies say Vaughn’s breathalyzer test readings were .258 and .273 – three times the legal limit.

The school’s website lists Vaughn as an Intensive Reading teacher, with the goal of improving reading comprehension and FCAT scores. The FCAT testing started for Lee County students on Monday.

“She was my favorite. She was awesome, not only did she care about me as a high school student but what was to come of me in college also,” said Emma Kenline, a former Estero High student.

“[She] needs to learn from her mistakes. She did it before this is the second time,” said Estero High School senior, Austin Roberts.

This is Vaughn’s second DUI in Lee County in less than one year.

Students say in the classroom, Vaughn was nice, but strict. Outside, she had tons of school spirit.

“She didn’t really talk about her family life at all. It was very professional didn’t really talk about her personal life,” said Estero High School junior, Maddie Dawson.

“I mean everybody makes mistakes. I guess this is hers. But what she needs is our help, not our criticism,” Kenline said.

We asked students if Vaughn ever seemed drunk in the classroom before–the kids we spoke with said no.

Vaughn is no longer teaching her classes and has been reassigned to another position outside of the school.

The district is investigating the incident.

Note number one; there were several typos in this article that I fixed so my readers would not think I was an idiot. Number two, this is why you hire someone with, at least, a high school education to proof your work.

Now, again, go read this one more time. It took them two hours to administer a sobriety test. Plus this is her second go round with a DUI and he students are aware of them both.

But I’m not done.

The town where she lives, Estero, was founded by a complete whack job, Dr. Cyrus Reed Teed, who proposed a theory that we live on the inside of the Earth’s outer skin, and that celestial bodies are all contained inside the hollow Earth.

To be fair, Estero has a high employment rate, a nice fire department and 98% of its population is white, which is why drunken teachers who could cause kids to die get a pass.

I don’t need to tell you who doesn’t get a pass.

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