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So, you’re sitting around your dingy little hovel wondering what to do with your sad, pathetic, life this weekend, hoping beyond hope that someone will come to your rescue and give you a reason to draw another breath. You’re in luck.

This Saturday, at Cypress Cove in Florida, they’re holding their third annual NUDE-A-PALOOZA! While I’m sorry to inform you that there are no Hippos involved, except for a possible appearance by Ashley Lobo, the rest of the event looks to be a lot of fun. As reported by AOL.com, this is a true family fun event.

We’re all about family fun here at Nude Hippo.

Even though many folks will be baring it all, Hadley insists that Nude-A-Palooza is a family-friendly affair.

“There’s nothing going on here at Cypress Cove that’s inappropriate. We’re a clean, traditional nudist resort. We believe being nude is wholesome and nonsexual. It’s just a way for friends to hang out, bond and accept their bodies in a nonthreatening environment.”

I might have used a different phrase than “hang out.”

Even so, to reinforce their family friendly image they even have a Facebook page. Events will include cover bands (that’s a Gene Simmons impersonator in the pic), dancing, food, drinks and games.

Unlike previous years, there are rumors that some of the bands will perform in the nude this year. It seems only fair.

Tickets are $20.00 and all proceeds from sales go to the Rock Pink foundation for breast cancer research. .

Nude Hippo’s “World News Center” Launch Brings Facts, Joy, Global Domination!

In what is possibly the most astounding revelation since last week — or at least since that poor guy in Florida unwittingly purchased an actual human skeleton as a Halloween decoration — Nude Hippo “ringmaster” Tony Lossano has unleashed World News Center upon the unsuspecting population of earth with a new website.

The website launch precedes its celebrated return to TV, both reportedly part of a master plan of global domination. “I don’t want to scare anyone,” Hippo’s Ashley Lobo allegedly said, “but I think we may actually be the most popular show on the planet.”  Undeterred by actual facts, Nude Hippo’s World News Center is poised to ride this wave of hysteria until the bitter end, or at least until someone takes this website away.

In the meantime, I urge all humans to become a part of the Hippo phenomenon. Poor Keanu will be even sadder if you don’t.

Stay tuned for more Nude Hippo madness.

Until then, enjoy some pictures of these adorable puppies.

CLASSIC WORLD NEWS CENTER UPDATE:

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