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I’m a big fan of the Internet. I use it every day for checking up on sports talk, looking up facts, conversing with friends, and all sorts of fun stuff. Essentially, to me, the Internet is a great public library. Something that rivals the legendary Library of Alexandria. But, unlike a traditional library, the Internet allows anyone to share their thoughts, hopes, dreams, and aspirations. That can be a good thing. Or it can be a nightmare. I’ve written before about various and sundry hoaxes that permeate the online ether. Most seemed self evident to me, I’m pretty sure there are no 19 year old Russian girls hot for my bod, but, based on the responses I got, it seems a lot of people needed the memo and were helped. In fact a young lady who works in a retirement village printed it out and posted it in the lounge where they have communal wi-fi. She said it was a great help to the residents. That makes me feel a little better about myself. But there are still stories flopping out of my monitor on a regular basis that, even with the most rudimentary fact checking, are easy to disprove. Today I’m going to tackle a few of those.

First off, and this one at least comes with the benefit of being well meaning, Muslims did not write the King James Bible. Certainly there were Muslim scribes in the King James court, and some of them probably did the grunt work when it came time to memorialize the translations, but the actual authorship of the bible is well documented. Fifty-four scholars were tasked with coming up with a complete, and non-annotated, version of the Old and New Testaments that would be devoid of any political commentary (which was common at the time). Forty-seven of them accepted.

Translation Committees

• First Westminster Company, translating from Genesis to 2 Kings:

Lancelot Andrewes, John Overall, Hadrian à Saravia, Richard Clarke, John Layfield, Robert Tighe, Francis Burleigh, Geoffrey King, Richard Thomson,William Bedwell;

• First Cambridge Company, translated from 1 Chronicles to the Song of Solomon:

Edward Lively, John Richardson, Lawrence Chaderton, Francis Dillingham, Roger Andrewes, Thomas Harrison, Robert Spaulding, Andrew Bing;

• First Oxford Company, translated from Isaiah to Malachi:

John Harding, John Rainolds (or Reynolds), Thomas Holland, Richard Kilby, Miles Smith, Richard Brett, Daniel Fairclough, William Thorne;

• Second Oxford Company, translated the Gospels, Acts of the Apostles, and the Book of Revelation:

Thomas Ravis, George Abbot, Richard Eedes, Giles Tomson, Sir Henry Savile, John Peryn, Ralph Ravens, John Harmar, John Aglionby, Leonard Hutten;

• Second Westminster Company, translated the Epistles:

William Barlow, John Spenser, Roger Fenton, Ralph Hutchinson, William Dakins, Michael Rabbet, Thomas Sanderson (a/k/a Archdeacon of Rochester);

• Second Cambridge Company, translated the Apocrypha:

John Duport, William Branthwaite, Jeremiah Radcliffe, Samuel Ward, Andrew Downes, John Bois, Robert Ward, Thomas Bilson, Richard Bancroft.

That list was written in 1609 and, as noted, was well documented by numerous sources. The Holy Qu’Ran, the text for all Muslims, was used as source material since it held accurate translations from the Old and New Testaments. But it did not color the King James version. The authors also referred to every other biblical text, including the unabashedly Papist Geneva Bible, to make sure they didn’t miss anything. Even so, they did not author a bible that demanded an end to the monarchy either.

Next on our list is a new version of an old saw; NASA is hiding aliens from us. This time around it comes with the additional weight of having an Excel spreadsheet as proof. Since many people view Excel as magyk, you can see the problem. So let’s sort it out. A nice man named Gary McKinnon hacked into NASA’s database from February 2001 to March of 2002. He was looking for proof that there were aliens hidden in Area 51 or anything at all do to with alien contact. He didn’t find anything. What he did find, however, was a spreadsheet that listed the names and ranks of people who are helming an armada that is hovering above earth protecting us from …. well, something. The problem is the spreadsheet lists names that don’t exist, anywhere, and accounts for a trillion or so dollars worth of gear.

Anyone who’s paid any attention to how the current Congress treats NASA knows there are no trillions to spend.

Anyway, NASA tried to have Gary arrested and extradited to the U.S. He’s an English citizen. I’ll let Karl Thomas fill you in on how all that went.

Following his arrest in 2002, Mr McKinnon was subject to a lengthy and divisive legal quarrel concerning his extradition to the US, where prosecutors wanted him to stand trial for the data breach.

If convicted, he would have likely faced up to 60 years behind bars. However, in 2012, Theresa May, the UK’s home secretary, said that he would not be sent to the US, justifying this decision on human rights grounds.

She said at the time: : “Mr McKinnon is accused of serious crimes. But there is also no doubt that he is seriously ill. He has Asperger’s syndrome, and suffers from depressive illness.

The legal question before me is now whether the extent of that illness is sufficient to preclude extradition.

After careful consideration of all of the relevant material, I have concluded that Mr McKinnon’s extradition would give rise to such a high risk of him ending his life that a decision to extradite would be incompatible with Mr McKinnon’s human rights.”

People I know who’ve seen the spreadsheet in question all say that it’s identical to the ones used by the Department of Defense for its war games scenarios. In other words “What would we do if we were attacked by aliens, using existing technology.” That’s nowhere near the same as actually building it.

This next one is so easy to debunk I’m not going to waste much time on it. Did President Carter quarantine and/or deport all Iranians in 1979? No. Did he check student visas and deport anyone who was here illegally? Yes. We were in a state of war with Iran at the time and that is standard operating procedure. It had also been the law for well over a century then and still is now. Even so, opponents of the Ayatollah were given safe haven here as political refugees.

Not the same as what Trump proposed by any stretch of the imagination.

By the way, I’d like to add this little bon mot to the above.

When experience is not retained, as among savages, infancy is perpetual. Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. – George Santayana

As a country we have treated, in some order, Chinese, Irish, Italian, Jewish, Polish, Mexican, Japanese, and Indian immigrants with varying degrees of disdain. We also didn’t do very well with the natives we found here. I think it’s high time we grew up and started acting like adults. Hiding under your bed and screaming “BOOGIE MAN” every time someone different than you arrives accomplishes nothing. Pointing guns at shadows doesn’t make you safer, it just makes you weak.

I don’t have the time or energy to deal with the crap that came out after the Paris attacks. Fortunately NBC has a well paid staff who did. Click here to kill nine common memes in one sitting.

Additionally, you can stop showing how smart you are by posting that old quote from Trump saying he would run as a Republican because Republicans are stupid. He never said it.

Trust me, the stuff he does say is bad enough, you don’t need to make shit up.

By the way, did Antonin Scalia really say “Blacks need slower schools?” Kind of. It was part of a very nuanced argument about the benefits of Affirmative Action which is currently in front of the Supreme Court.

Here’s the an edited version of the quote.

Scalia, who has previously opposed of affirmative action, claimed that helping minorities who don’t excel at high school get into top colleges “does not benefit African-Americans” because “they’re being pushed into schools that are too advanced for them.”

“Most of the black scientists in this country do not come from the most advanced schools,” Scalia said, referencing information from a friend-of-the-court or amicus curiae brief filed in connection with the case. “They come from lesser schools where they do not feel that they’re being pushed ahead in classes that are too fast for them.”

Scalia contended that minorities would benefit from attending “less advanced” or “slower track” schools, “where they do well,” which elicited murmurings in the courtroom.

Agree or disagree, he was clearly trying to offer real world solutions to a nagging problem. He was not saying black kids are stupid.

I could go on and on but I think this is a good start. A couple of pieces of advice, for anything to do with politics, hit up FactCheck.org. It doesn’t matter which political party says something, if it’s false they’ll call it out. Another good resource is Snopes.com. That’s a family run site that benefits from being able to admit what they don’t know. If the facts don’t tilt one way or the other they’ll mark the rumor “Unsure.”

Just FYI, the little girl asking for Christmas cards because her whole family was killed in a fire? That one’s true. You can get her address via the link.

Lies :: Astroglider :: Music Video from Astroglider on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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Everyone has their holiday traditions. Eating black eyed peas for New Year’s. Going to a Sadie Hawkins’ dance for Valentine’s Day. Getting hammered to honor an aesthetic patron saint. Wallowing in pagan fertility rituals to commemorate the resurrection of Christ. Using high explosives to celebrate our peaceful freedoms. Dressing up as sex starved maniacs who just escaped from a cave to revere our dead ancestors and, of course, memorializing the birth of a man dedicated to poverty and peace by spending spending fucking obscene amounts of money and fighting like wet cats over a toy. But the one holiday that seems pure is Thanksgiving. After all, we have the stories and history straight from the Pilgrims’ mouths. Right? How could we get that wrong? As I noted back in 2013, we get that spectacularly wrong as well. As soon as the Pilgrims were fed and survived that first winter their “red skinned allies” quickly became “bloodthirsty savages” so they could justify taking their land and resources. And that’s just the most obvious problem.

[EDIT] It has come to our attention that the Mayflower not only brought the Pilgrims to the US but also orphans the British government no longer wished to support (i.e., feed). Most of them died within the first year.

Read on to get completely depressed.

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I have often called Thanksgiving the red headed step child of holidays. Now I have made red headed step children mad. So I’ll apologize to them – sorry, I tend to be a callous oaf – and just note that this holiday kind of gets shoved in the middle of other stuff. Most people go from the sexy cool of Halloween to the fiscal gluttony of Christmas without pausing. It’s gotten so bad that Sarah Palin was forced to announce she was against the War on Christmas in October. So you can see how Thanksgiving could get trampled. And now, with more and more stores caving in to pubic pressure to be open on the holiday so people can shop on Gray Thursday, my new name for the day before Black Friday, the holiday is taking another hit. I’ve already noted that there are, historically, several days that have earned the title “Black Friday” and none of them have anything to do with shopping. Since this year the Thanksgiving radio show will be today I figured I should take a moment to remind people how screwed up this day really is. For example, kiddie pageants all over the country celebrate out faithful Indian companion, Squanto. As I have noted before, that presents a problem.

In fact when Squanto, the liaison between the Wampanoag Indians and the Pilgrims, died he was eulogized by William Bradford, the Pilgrims’ governor, with these words, “Here Squanto fell ill of Indian fever, bleeding much at the nose, which the Indians take as a symptom of death, and within a few days he died. He begged the Governor to pray for him, that he might go to the Englishman’s God in heaven, and bequeathed several of his things to his English friends, as remembrances. His death was a great loss.” Of course part of his conversion was probably due to the fact that the Wampanoag considered him a traitor, many historians believe he was poisoned by his own people, and even went so far as to assign him a second (a/k/a assistant) for his dealings with the Pilgrims. That was, pretty much, unheard of for Indians.

Yeah, well, given that Squanto was, for reasons unknown, shunned by his tribe, captured and made a slave, taken to Europe, escaped 6 years later to return to America, was shunned again by his people and then taken in, reluctantly, by the Pilgrims who offered him the worst eulogy ever. And the eulogy was due to the fact that his own people probably poisoned him. While a more interesting story than the one you’re used to it makes for a difficult children’s show.

Also, that “assistant” thing I mentioned was unheard of for the Indians. By treaty, hammered out by years of inter-tribal wars, each tribe assigned one voice for negotiations. So if that voice said the tribe would paint themselves pink and do the Hokey Pokey the tribe would simply say where and when. Assigning a second voice was a huge insult to Squanto and he would have known that.

There’s something else to consider as well. About 100 years previous there was a colony in Roanoke Virginia. According to people who have no clue about what they’re talking about, the colony disappeared without a trace. Even worse, they left a sign that no human can decipher with the word CROATOAN on it.

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Okay, say hi to the Croatoan Indians, also known as members of the Lumbee Indian family. Yes, they still exist and their web site is current. The settlers, as was common with English settlers, were woefully ignorant and arrogant. They crossed the ocean and just expected to find plenty of food and shelter. Oddly this wasn’t a good plan. While the land had been tended by the Indians who died out from the plague earlier, food still requires agriculture, a skill that eluded these city bred immigrants. So, hungry and lonely, they walked about two miles down river to the Croatoan settlement where the natives were naturists.

In other words their options were starvation and death or an island full of naked natives who were willing to share their food. They wisely chose door number 2.

Now, as I noted, English settlers were ignorant and arrogant. The Pilgrims were no different. When they arrived and found blue eyed, red skinned, natives who spoke English it never occurred to them that there might be an interesting story behind that. In fact they barely mentioned it. Because, just like in Star Trek, that’s the way things were supposed to be.

Oh, and Squanto wasn’t one of those. He learned English the old fashioned way, from his captors.

Anyway, thanks to Coolest Holiday Parties, we have a list of stupid trivia for you to win bar bets with.

The traditional cornucopia was a curved goat’s horn filled to brim with fruits and grains. According to Greek legend, Amalthea (a goat) broke one of her horns and offered it to Greek God Zeus as a sign of reverence. As a sign of gratitude, Zeus later set the goat’s image in the sky also known as constellation Capricorn. Cornucopia is the most common symbol of a harvest festival. A Horn shaped container, it is filled with abundance of the Earth’s harvest. It is also known as the ‘horn of plenty’.

It was not until 1941, that congress declared Thanksgiving as a national holiday. It was declared to be the fourth Thursday in November.

The first known thanksgiving feast or festival in North America was celebrated by Francisco Vásquez de Coronado and the people he called “Tejas” (members of the Hasinai group of Caddo-speaking Native Americans).

Here’s one of those funny Thanksgiving facts: Turkeys have heart attacks. When the Air Force was conducting test runs and breaking the sound barrier, fields of turkeys would drop dead.

Turducken, a turkey stuffed with a duck stuffed with a chicken, is becoming more popular in Thanksgiving (originated in Louisiana). A turducken is a de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken. The cavity of the chicken and the rest of the gaps are filled with, at the very least, a highly seasoned breadcrumb mixture (although some versions have a different stuffing for each bird).

Fossil evidence shows that turkeys roamed the Americas 10 million years ago.

91% of Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving Day.

There are regional differences as to the “stuffing” (or “dressing”) traditionally served with the turkey. Southerners generally make theirs from cornbread, while in other parts of the country white bread is the base. One or several of the following may be added: oysters, apples, chestnuts, raisins, celery and/or other vegetables, sausage or the turkey’s giblets.

Thomas Jefferson thought the concept of Thanksgiving was “the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever heard.”

Every President since Lincoln proclaimed Thanksgiving Day. But in 1939, 1940, and 1941 Franklin D. Roosevelt proclaimed Thanksgiving the third Thursday in November to lengthen the holiday shopping season. This upset people.

Fifty percent of Americans put the stuffing inside the Turkey.

The North American holiday season (generally the Christmas shopping season in the U.S.) traditionally begins when Thanksgiving ends, on “Black Friday” (the day after Thanksgiving); this tradition has held forth since at least the 1930s.

On the West Coast of the US, Dungeness crab is common as an alternate main dish instead of turkey, as crab season starts in early November.

Corn is one of the popular symbols of thanksgiving. It came in many varieties and colors – red, white, yellow and blue. Some Americans considered blue and white corn sacred. The oldest corns date 7000 years back and were grown in Mexico.

Benjamin Franklin wanted the national bird to be a turkey.

Several people wanted to have an official day of thanksgiving, including George Washington, who proclaimed a National Day of Thanksgiving in 1789. Several people did not want it including President Thomas Jefferson.

Here’s one of the most unbelievable Thanksgiving facts: The Guinness Book of Records states that the greatest dressed weight recorded for a turkey is 39.09 kg (86 lbs), at the annual “heaviest turkey” competition held in London, England on December 12, 1989.

The first Thanksgiving was not a feast, but rather a time when Native Americans helped Pilgrims by bringing them food and helping them build off the land.

More than 40 million green bean casseroles are served on Thanksgiving.

Turkey is the traditional dish for the Thanksgiving feast. In the US, about 280 million turkeys are sold for the Thanksgiving celebrations. There is no official reason or declaration for the use of turkey. They just happened to be the most plentiful meat available at the time of the first Thanksgiving in 1621, starting the tradition.

Twenty percent of cranberries eaten are eaten on Thanksgiving.

The preliminary estimate of the number of turkeys raised in the United States in 2005 is 256 million. That’s down 3 percent from 2004. The turkeys produced in 2004 weighed 7.3 billion pounds altogether and were valued at $3.1 billion.

Turkeys were one of the first animals in the Americas to be domesticated.

Columbus thought that the land he discovered was connected to India, where peacocks are found in considerable number. And he believed turkeys were a type of peacock (they’re actually a type of pheasant). So he named them “tuka”, which is “peacock” in the Tamil language of India.

The ‘wishbone’ of the turkey is used in a good luck ritual on Thanksgiving Day.

The cranberry is a symbol and a modern diet staple of thanksgiving. Originally called crane berry, it derived its name from its pink blossoms and drooping head, which reminded the Pilgrims of a crane.

The Plymouth Pilgrims dined with the Wampanoag Indians for the First Thanksgiving.

The different nicknames for Thanksgiving Day: “Turkey Day” (after the traditional Thanksgiving dinner), “T-Day” (an abbreviation of either “Thanksgiving Day” or “Turkey Day”), “Macy’s Day (this is exclusive to New York City – it is a reference to the Macy’s Day Parade), “Yanksgiving” (Canadians sometimes call the Thanksgiving in the US as “Yanksgiving” to distinguish it from the Canadian Thanksgiving holiday.)

The First Thanksgiving lasted for three days.

Contrary to popular belief, Native Americans did not eat cranberries. They did, however, find them extremely useful for dying fabric and decorating pottery.

The Native Americans wore deerskin and fur, not blankets.

A spooked turkey can run at speeds up to 20 miles per hour. They can also burst into flight approaching speeds between 50-55 mph in a matter of seconds.

Turkeys are first documented over two thousand years ago in Central America and Mexico.

In October of 1777 all 13 colonies celebrated Thanksgiving for the first time; however it was a one-time affair commemorating a victory over the British at Saratoga.

There are three places in the United States named after the holiday’s traditional main course — Turkey, Texas; Turkey Creek, La.; and Turkey, N.C. There are also nine townships around the country named “Turkey,” with three in Kansas.

Sarah Josepha Hale, a magazine editor, campaigned to make Thanksgiving a National Holiday in 1827 and succeeded.

Wild turkeys, while technically the same species as domesticated turkeys, have a very different taste from farm-raised turkeys. Almost all of the meat is “dark” (even the breasts) with a more intense turkey flavor. Older heritage breeds also differ in flavor.

Actually, Sarah Josepha Hale started campaigning for Thanksgiving in 1827 but it wasn’t designated as a holiday until Lincoln signed the Thanksgiving Proclamation in 1863.

Old Abe did love his proclamations.

How-To Cook a Turkey With Kat from EyeHandy on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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