You Don’t Need You Anymore

I’ve written before about our impending robot overlords. Usually I am against this sort of thing. There have been – obvious – exceptions like the development of sexbots. Hey, I’ve been divorced twice, having a solid back up plan isn’t such a bad idea. Still, despite the awesoemeness of sexbots, most developments tend to be making Frank Herbert’s Dune seem like a documentary. And I, for one, would prefer not to live in a world ruled by some box of electrodes named Omnius. Still and all when a good thing…

Welcome To The End Times

Sunday was the pride parade. A day when a million people go out to celebrate diversity and then go home and hope none of that diversity stuff happens to them. I was on the bus Sunday morning on my way for my ritual breakfast with a couple of buddies. In case I’d forgotten about the pride parade the citizens on the bus quickly reminded me. Now, normally, when the phrase “hot, black and mini-skirt” gets tied together with “in my lap” I’m a pretty happy guy. However the exception that…

SCIENCE!

Ah, where to begin today. After the British government attempted to lure women into scientific fields with an ad more demeaning than anything ever released by Victoria’s Secret a group of actual female scientists responded with an ad of their own. Their ad features real scientists having fun with science and dancing to “I’m Sexy and I Know It.” Ladies, there is a career for you in science and it does not require you to do math on a bathroom mirror or wear heels. The fact that I need to…

BRAYNZZ!

I have written about the joys of our impending robot overlords. The sex bots are the good news, the biological slave camps are the bad. But, hey, why should we worry? It isn’t like science is anywhere close to developing a true artificial brain or anything like that. Actually, given the fact that college entrance exams can be filled in using 140 characters or less, I sincerely doubt there are any humans capable of doing the requisite math. And given that there are schools offering degrees in how to use…

America’s Got Some Catching Up to Do

Before we get to the meat and potatoes of today’s blog, I’d like to take a moment to add another log to the “What the hell were they thinking” fire. Principal Janet Jones, of Utica High School, yanked a 14 year old girl, who was wearing a pirate costume for Halloween, into her office and informed her that she “looked like a porn star.” When the girl, who comes from a connservative family, asked “what’s a porn star” she received a VERY graphic answer. So now the young lady’s father…

Fun With Dead Cats!

It’s been a rough week. By the time you read this the Obama / Romney debates will have happened, 13 more parodies of Gangam Style will have ben released and one, at least, will feature someone naked claiming to be an artist in their own right. Don’t let them confuse you. They will be wrong. Your email will have been filled, yet again, with emails loudly proclaiming that President Obama is a Muslim terrorist (with one or more words spelled wrong) or that Governor Romney is a robotic unicorn (with…

Zom-Bees?

You, being a sane and rational person, rarely take talk of impending apocalypses very seriously. You are of a mind that rational people will work things out. And, in the main, history has proven you right. Granted, sometimes, it has taken rational people and a well trained army, but still, in the end everything worked out. So when I write about our eventual enslavement by our robot overlords and the like, you smile and then go have another latte. Sometimes you even send me a funny email. That’s very nice…

Death Bots for Everyone!

You know the drill. One minute you’re thinking about taking your special someone to the movies or on a picnic and the next thing you know death bots have destroyed your city. It’s become such a common occurrence that it doesn’t even make the news any more. Kind of like serial killers with the middle name Wayne. One minute you’re pretty sure there was a Castelnuovo in Tuscany and the next thing you know it’s a hole in the ground. And you’re pretty sure that Bruce Springsteen sang about the…

Beware the Fish People!

There is something very wrong with me. Most people see a pretty field of flowers and think “Aww, pretty.” I see a pretty field of flowers and think “I wonder if we could attach bio weapons to the pollen.” See? A slightly different point of view. Another example is obviated by my incessant ranting that we are soon to be overthrown by robot overlords. Of course there is a plus to that. I mean robot overlords automatically mean a world with sex bots. But scientists aren’t content just to supply…

Hookers, Bacon & Robots

If you’re like me – and there are 3 states where that is illegal and 11 more that require a permit (so check with a lawyer first) – then you know there’s no better way to start your day then with a committed threesome and a slathering of grease. Put down the phone, there’s nothing your congressperson can do about my past. And, yes, the powers that be knew all about me when they handed me a contract. Of course, this time they were very careful to make sure I…