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Plan Accordingly

December 13, 2014 by

Yes, this exists.
Yes, this exists.

If you’re like me, and I’m guessing you are since you’re reading this, you like to wake up in the morning and Google “naked cosplay” or “nude justice league” and so on. And because the internet is a thing you will be entertained for hours. In fact, if you simply add the word “sexy” to any search you will be entertained. Don’t believe me? Try “sexy baseball.” The point is that we all have our fantasies. And that’s fine. Just because your mom read 50 Shades of Grey doesn’t mean she wants to wrap herself in latex, get chained to a bed and be spanked. Trust me on that. But a rich fantasy life denotes a healthy mind. That would be a good thing for those of you who are new to the human race. A mind that explores and embraces new ideas is a mind that will never grow old or bored. And Hollywood has noticed that. While they’ll never make the Supergirl/Powergirl lesbian porno fans have been clamoring for, they have gone “all in” on the fantasy fulfillment end. Specifically, the growing need for movie audiences to escape into universes larger and more interesting than their own has been duly noted and is the driving force in cinema these days.

You clicked every link didn’t you? That’s okay. That’s what they’re there for.

Anyway, when I said Hollywood went all in I meant it. Culled from numerous sources is the list below. It is every superhero movie I could find that is in development or slated to be so at a definitive time with one exception that is duly noted. There are quite a few more in the advanced rumor stage but I couldn’t get anything on them so I’m just going with this for now.

2015
Feb. 13, 2015: “Kingsman: The Secret Service” (Fox)
May 1, 2015: “Avengers: Age of Ultron” (Marvel Studios)
July 17, 2015: “Ant-Man” (Marvel Studios)
Aug. 7, 2015: “The Fantastic Four” (Fox)
2015 undated: “Popeye” (Sony)

2016
Feb. 12, 2016: “Deadpool” (Fox)
March 25, 2016: “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” (Warner Bros.)
May 6, 2016: “Captain America: Civil War” (Marvel Studios)
May 27, 2016: “X-Men: Apocalypse” (Fox)
June 3, 2016: “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2” (Paramount)
Aug. 5, 2016: “Suicide Squad” (Warner Bros.)
Nov. 4, 2016: “Doctor Strange” (Marvel Studios)
Nov. 6, 2016: “The Peanuts Movie” (Fox)
Nov. 11, 2016: “Sinister Six” (Sony)

2017
March 3, 2017: Untitled “The Wolverine” sequel (Fox)
May 5, 2017: “Guardians of the Galaxy 2” (Marvel Studios)
June 23, 2017: “Wonder Woman” (Warner Bros.)
July 14, 2017: “The Fantastic Four 2” (Fox)
July 28, 2017: “Thor: Ragnarok” (Marvel Studios)
Nov. 3, 2017: “Black Panther” (Marvel Studios)
Nov. 17, 2017: “Justice League Part One” (Warner Bros.)
2017 undated: “The LEGO Batman Movie” (Warner Bros.)
2017 undated: Untitled female Spider-Man spin-off (Sony)
2017 undated: Venom: Carnage Spider-Man spin-off (Sony) (this one may be defunct)

2018
March 23, 2018: “The Flash” (Warner Bros.)
May 4, 2018: “Avengers: Infinity War Part 1” (Marvel Studios)
July 6, 2018: “Captain Marvel” (Marvel Studios)
July 27, 2018: “Aquaman” (Warner Bros.)
Nov. 2, 2018: “Inhumans” (Marvel Studios)
2018 undated: “Amazing Spider-Man 3” (Sony)

2019
April 5, 2019: “Shazam” (Warner Bros.)
May 3, 2019: “Avengers: Infinity War Part 2” (Marvel Studios)
June 14, 2019: “Justice League Part Two” (Warner Bros.)

2020
April 3, 2020: “Cyborg” (Warner Bros.)
June 19, 2020: “Green Lantern” (Warner Bros.)

Add in the fact that both DC & Marvel have invested heavily into TV shows so that they can showcase lesser known characters and develop them as real people, as it were, and you have all the fantasies you can shake your stick at. So go ahead and fantasize. Even try a few things out in real life.

Just don’t jump off a building thinking you can fly and everything will work out fine.

The Constellations “Afterparty” uncensored music video from Video Rahim on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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Them’s Be Stoopid

May 18, 2014 by

You can buy this at Wal Mart.
You can buy this at Wal Mart.
I have long bemoaned the dumbing down of America. There seems to be a growing number of humans who sincerely believe that their opinion carries as much weight as actual facts. They are 100% wrong but that fact doesn’t even enter their equations. If I may insult the word equations. It’s one thing to believe in something. Regular readers know that I believe in God. Mostly because I refuse to believe that I’m the most evolved being in the universe. Believing in God does not, by any stretch, require me to believe all of the hateful things that a god is supposed to enjoy. My beliefs are simple. Since I do not want to marry someone of the same sex I have not done so. See how easy that is? Just because I’m not comfortable loving a man as I would love a woman should have no impact on those who are wired differently. The same applies to most things. And yet there are those, a growing contingent it seems, who feel contrariwise. They firmly believe that all truth flows through them. That if they don’t understand it then it’s not true. And that’s not only stupid, it’s dangerous. Diseases long conquered are making a comeback thanks to these idiots. Science long settled is being bludgeoned into meaningless sound bites. Facts are now treated as politically skewed opinions. There are people who firmly believe that hex signs and such have as much validity as science. And thanks to these people children are dying and people are rediscovering that human rights are not a given.

As I said, this is not just stupid, it’s dangerous.

Thansk to my pal Jon Schnepp, I found out that Jonathon Gatehouse, at MacLeans, says things are even worse than I thought.

South Carolina’s state beverage is milk. Its insect is the praying mantis. There’s a designated dance—the shag—as well a sanctioned tartan, game bird, dog, flower, gem and snack food (boiled peanuts). But what Olivia McConnell noticed was missing from among her home’s 50 official symbols was a fossil. So last year, the eight-year-old science enthusiast wrote to the governor and her representatives to nominate the Columbian mammoth. Teeth from the woolly proboscidean, dug up by slaves on a local plantation in 1725, were among the first remains of an ancient species ever discovered in North America. Forty-three other states had already laid claim to various dinosaurs, trilobites, primitive whales and even petrified wood. It seemed like a no-brainer. “Fossils tell us about our past,” the Grade 2 student wrote.

And, as it turns out, the present, too. The bill that Olivia inspired has become the subject of considerable angst at the legislature in the state capital of Columbia. First, an objecting state senator attached three verses from Genesis to the act, outlining God’s creation of all living creatures. Then, after other lawmakers spiked the amendment as out of order for its introduction of the divinity, he took another crack, specifying that the Columbian mammoth “was created on the sixth day with the other beasts of the field.” That version passed in the senate in early April. But now the bill is back in committee as the lower house squabbles over the new language, and it’s seemingly destined for the same fate as its honouree—extinction.

What has doomed Olivia’s dream is a raging battle in South Carolina over the teaching of evolution in schools. Last week, the state’s education oversight committee approved a new set of science standards that, if adopted, would see students learn both the case for, and against, natural selection.

Charles Darwin’s signature discovery—first published 155 years ago and validated a million different ways since—long ago ceased to be a matter for serious debate in most of the world. But in the United States, reconciling science and religious belief remains oddly difficult. A national poll, conducted in March for the Associated Press, found that 42 per cent of Americans are “not too” or “not at all” confident that all life on Earth is the product of evolution. Similarly, 51 per cent of people expressed skepticism that the universe started with a “big bang” 13.8 billion years ago, and 36 per cent doubted the Earth has been around for 4.5 billion years.

The American public’s bias against established science doesn’t stop where the Bible leaves off, however. The same poll found that just 53 per cent of respondents were “extremely” or “very confident” that childhood vaccines are safe and effective. (Worldwide, the measles killed 120,000 people in 2012. In the United States, where a vaccine has been available since 1963, the last recorded measles death was in 2003.) When it comes to global warming, only 33 per cent expressed a high degree of confidence that it is “man made,” something the UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change has declared is all but certain. (The good news, such as it was in the AP poll, was that 69 per cent actually believe in DNA, and 82 per cent now agree that smoking causes cancer.)

If the rise in uninformed opinion was limited to impenetrable subjects that would be one thing, but the scourge seems to be spreading. Everywhere you look these days, America is in a rush to embrace the stupid. Hell-bent on a path that’s not just irrational, but often self-destructive. Common-sense solutions to pressing problems are eschewed in favour of bumper-sticker simplicities and blind faith.

In a country bedevilled by mass shootings—Aurora, Colo.; Fort Hood, Texas; Virginia Tech—efforts at gun control have given way to ever-laxer standards. Georgia recently passed a law allowing people to pack weapons in state and local buildings, airports, churches and bars. Florida is debating legislation that will waive all firearm restrictions during state emergencies like riots or hurricanes. (One opponent has moved to rename it “an Act Relating to the Zombie Apocalypse.”) And since the December 2012 massacre of 20 children and six staff at Sandy Hook Elementary School, in Newtown, Conn., 12 states have passed laws allowing guns to be carried in schools, and 20 more are considering such measures.

The cost of a simple appendectomy in the United States averages $33,000 and it’s not uncommon for such bills to top six figures. More than 15 per cent of the population has no health insurance whatsoever. Yet efforts to fill that gaping hole via the Affordable Health Care Act—a.k.a. Obamacare—remain distinctly unpopular. Nonsensical myths about the government’s “real” intentions have found so much traction that 30 per cent still believe that there will be official “death panels” to make decisions on end-of-life care.

Since 2001, the U.S. government has been engaged in an ever-widening program of spying on its own—and foreign—citizens, tapping phones, intercepting emails and texts, and monitoring social media to track the movements, activities and connections of millions. Still, many Americans seem less concerned with the massive violations of their privacy in the name of the War on Terror, than imposing Taliban-like standards on the lives of others. Last month, the school board in Meridian, Idaho voted to remove The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian by Sherman Alexie from its Grade 10 supplemental reading list following parental complaints about its uncouth language and depictions of sex and drug use. When 17-year-old student Brady Kissel teamed up with staff from a local store to give away copies at a park as a protest, a concerned citizen called police. It was the evening of April 23, which was also World Book Night, an event dedicated to “spreading the love of reading.”

If ignorance is contagious, it’s high time to put the United States in quarantine.

Americans have long worried that their education system is leaving their children behind. With good reason: national exams consistently reveal how little the kids actually know. In the last set, administered in 2010 (more are scheduled for this spring), most fourth graders were unable to explain why Abraham Lincoln was an important figure, and only half were able to order North America, the U.S., California and Los Angeles by size. Results in civics were similarly dismal. While math and reading scores have improved over the years, economics remains the “best” subject, with 42 per cent of high school seniors deemed “proficient.”

They don’t appear to be getting much smarter as they age. A 2013 survey of 166,000 adults across 20 countries that tested math, reading and technological problem-solving found Americans to be below the international average in every category. (Japan, Finland, Canada, South Korea and Slovakia were among the 11 nations that scored significantly higher.)

The trends are not encouraging. In 1978, 42 per cent of Americans reported that they had read 11 or more books in the past year. In 2014, just 28 per cent can say the same, while 23 per cent proudly admit to not having read even one, up from eight per cent in 1978. Newspaper and magazine circulation continues to decline sharply, as does viewership for cable news. The three big network supper-hour shows drew a combined average audience of 22.6 million in 2013, down from 52 million in 1980. While 82 per cent of Americans now say they seek out news digitally, the quality of the information they’re getting is suspect. Among current affairs websites, Buzzfeedlogs almost as many monthly hits as the Washington Post.

The advance of ignorance and irrationalism in the U.S. has hardly gone unnoticed. The late Columbia University historian Richard Hofstadter won the Pulitzer prize back in 1964 for his book Anti-Intellectualism in American Life, which cast the nation’s tendency to embrace stupidity as a periodic by-product of its founding urge to democratize everything. By 2008, journalist Susan Jacoby was warning that the denseness—“a virulent mixture of anti-rationalism and low expectations”—was more of a permanent state. In her book, The Age of American Unreason, she posited that it trickled down from the top, fuelled by faux-populist politicians striving to make themselves sound approachable rather than smart. Their creeping tendency to refer to everyone—voters, experts, government officials—as “folks” is “symptomatic of a debasement of public speech inseparable from a more general erosion of American cultural standards,” she wrote. “Casual, colloquial language also conveys an implicit denial of the seriousness of whatever issue is being debated: talking about folks going off to war is the equivalent of describing rape victims as girls.”

That inarticulate legacy didn’t end with George W. Bush and Sarah Palin. Barack Obama, the most cerebral and eloquent American leader in a generation, regularly plays the same card, droppin’ his Gs and dialling down his vocabulary to Hee Hawstandards. His ability to convincingly play a hayseed was instrumental in his 2012 campaign against the patrician Mitt Romney; in one of their televised debates the President referenced “folks” 17 times.

An aversion to complexity—at least when communicating with the public—can also be seen in the types of answers politicians now provide the media. The average length of a sound bite by a presidential candidate in 1968 was 42.3 seconds. Two decades later, it was 9.8 seconds. Today, it’s just a touch over seven seconds and well on its way to being supplanted by 140-character Twitter bursts.

Little wonder then that distrust—of leaders, institutions, experts, and those who report on them—is rampant. A YouGov poll conducted last December found that three-quarters of Americans agreed that science is a force for good in the world. Yet when asked if they truly believe what scientists tell them, only 36 per cent of respondents said yes. Just 12 per cent expressed strong confidence in the press to accurately report scientific findings. (Although according to a 2012 paper by Gordon Gauchat, a University of North Carolina sociologist, the erosion of trust in science over the past 40 years has been almost exclusively confined to two groups: conservatives and regular churchgoers. Counterintuitively, it is the most highly educated among them—with post-secondary education—who harbour the strongest doubts.)

The term “elitist” has become one of the most used, and feared, insults in American life. Even in the country’s halls of higher learning, there is now an ingrained bias that favours the accessible over the exacting.

“There’s a pervasive suspicion of rights, privileges, knowledge and specialization,” says Catherine Liu, the author of American Idyll: Academic Antielitism as Cultural Critiqueand a film and media studies professor at University of California at Irvine. Both ends of the political spectrum have come to reject the conspicuously clever, she says, if for very different reasons; the left because of worries about inclusiveness, the right because they equate objections with obstruction. As a result, the very mission of universities has changed, argues Liu. “We don’t educate people anymore. We train them to get jobs.” (Boomers, she says, deserve most of the blame. “They were so triumphalist in promoting pop culture and demoting the canon.”)

The digital revolution, which has brought boundless access to information and entertainment choices, has somehow only enhanced the lowest common denominators—LOL cat videos and the Kardashians. Instead of educating themselves via the Internet, most people simply use it to validate what they already suspect, wish or believe to be true. It creates an online environment where Jenny McCarthy, a former Playboy model with a high school education, can become a worldwide leader of the anti-vaccination movement, naysaying the advice of medical professionals.

Most perplexing, however, is where the stupid is flowing from. As conservative pundit David Frum recently noted, where it was once the least informed who were most vulnerable to inaccuracies, it now seems to be the exact opposite. “More sophisticated news consumers turn out to use this sophistication to do a better job of filtering out what they don’t want to hear,” he blogged.

But are things actually getting worse? There’s a long and not-so-proud history of American electors lashing out irrationally, or voting against their own interests. Political scientists have been tracking, since the early 1950s, just how poorly those who cast ballots seem to comprehend the policies of the parties and people they are endorsing. A wealth of research now suggests that at the most optimistic, only 70 per cent actually select the party that accurately represents their views—and there are only two choices.

Larry Bartels, the co-director of the Center for the Study of Democratic Institutions at Vanderbilt University, says he doubts that the spreading ignorance is a uniquely American phenomenon. Facing complex choices, uncertain about the consequences of the alternatives, and tasked with balancing the demands of jobs, family and the things that truly interest them with boring policy debates, people either cast their ballots reflexively, or not at all. The larger question might be whether engagement really matters. “If your vision of democracy is one in which elections provide solemn opportunities for voters to set the course of public policy and hold leaders accountable, yes,” Bartels wrote in an email to Maclean’s. “If you take the less ambitious view that elections provide a convenient, non-violent way for a society to agree on who is in charge at any given time, perhaps not.”

A study by two Princeton University researchers, Martin Gilens and Benjamin Page, released last month, tracked 1,800 U.S. policy changes between 1981 and 2002, and compared the outcome with the expressed preferences of median-income Americans, the affluent, business interests and powerful lobbies. They concluded that average citizens “have little or no independent influence” on policy in the U.S., while the rich and their hired mouthpieces routinely get their way. “The majority does not rule,” they wrote.

Smart money versus dumb voters is hardly a fair fight. But it does offer compelling evidence that the survival of the fittest remains an unshakable truth even in American life. A sad sort of proof of evolution.

That last part is a solid reminder how much your vote counts. If you sit on the sidelines and allow idiots to get into office then you get the government you deserve.

So how do we fix this? Education. We stop legislators from gutting curricula and force kids to learn actual facts. The earth is more than 6,000 years old. Jesus never rode a velociratpor. Vaccines cure diseases, they don’t cause them. Drinking bleach does not cure AIDS. 2+2=4. The universe is infinite. Life can, and most likely does, exist on other worlds. There is no such thing as Bigfoot. There is no such thing as UFOs. Contrails are not chemtrails. 9/11 was caused by a small band of terrorists, not by the world’s largest religion. Fluoride does not allow the government to track your movements via satellites. Seeing a man kiss another man will not make you gay any more than drinking milk will make you a cow.

We need to teach them these facts and more if we ever hope of having a better world.

It can be done, but we need to get off our complacent asses to make it happen.

Stupid Girls by P!nk from Mie Madsen on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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Good Science

March 7, 2014 by

Shine a little light on me
Shine a little light on me

Yesterday I shared the kind of science that prompts science fiction writers to give up because reality just got too weird. And disgusting. You can’t forget just how disgusting it got. But, today, I’ll attempt to soothe your wounded palette. Today I’m going to talk about the kind of science that does what kids growing up in my day thought that science should do. We wanted science to heal the sick, save the poor and make the world a better place to live in. And when not cloning celebrities to make food, science can actually live up to its promise. If you like naked women, roller skates, marbles and rope, you’ll click that link in the name of science. I guess my point is that not all scientific study needs to lead directly to the apocalypse or anything like that. Some of it can lead us to a better place.

And that is especially true today.

The Mind Unleashed, an online scientific journal, reports that IBM has come up with a solar collector that can do things like save the world and end drought.

Little things, I know, but still worth a mention.

Solar

A team at IBM recently developed what they call a High Concentration Photo Voltaic Thermal (HCPVT) system that is capable of concentrating the power of 2,000 suns, they are even claiming to be able to concentrate energy safely up to 5,000X, that’s huge.

The process of  trapping the sunlight produces water that can be used to produce filtered drinkable water, or used for other things like air conditioning etc. Scientists envision that the HCPVT system could provide sustainable energy and fresh water to communities all around the world.

“Each 1cmX1cm chip can convert 200-250 watts, on average, over a typical eight-hour day in a sunny region. In the HCPVT system, instead of heating a building, the 90 degree Celsius water will pass through a porous membrane distillation system where it is then vaporized and desalinated. Such a system could provide 30-40 liters of drinkable water per square meter of receiver area per day, while still generating electricity with a more than 25 percent yield or two kilowatts hours per day. A large installation would provide enough water for a small town.” (2)

The heat is absorbed into hundreds of tiny solar cells called photovoltaic chips. These gather the energy and are then cooled by microchannled water, which is why they are safely able to concentrate such large amounts of solar energy.

According to Greenpeace, this technology can establish itself as the third largest player in the sustainable power generation industry. A study published in 2009 predicted that solar power could supply all the world’s energy needs, with minimal space. Greenpeace estimates that it would take only two percent of the Sahara Desert’s land area to supply the entire planet’s electricity needs.

A common problem with modern-day solar collectors is that they can only take in a minimal amount of energy. This means that useful heat is wasted, cannot be harnessed and is thrown away. This technology eliminates that problem. Solar panels taking in too much energy run the risk of melting themselves due to mass amounts of heat. This is changing, as we continue to explore more efficient ways of energy generation, it’s becoming clear that it’s time to do away with the old, and usher in the new, clean, green technologies.

This project is being funded by the Swiss Commission for Technology and Innovation. They are supplying a three-year $2.4 million grant to develop the technology. Prototypes have been developed and are being tested.

This is another great technology that could provide power to the entire planet for free! Good reasons as to why we cannot implement this technology are non existent. At the end of the day, it seems that big oil corporations will do whatever they can to prevent change from happening, but the power of the people is greater. All we have to do is come together, create, and cooperate.

Below is a video of IBM research scientist Bruno Michel giving an overview of the project:


References:

(1) http://www.greenpeace.org/international/en/publications/reports/concentrating-solar-power-2009/

(2) http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2013/04/22/ibm-solar-collector-hcpvt_n_3130544.html

(3)  http://www.engadget.com/2013/04/22/ibm-alliance-solar-collector-concentrates-power-of-2k-suns/

Credits: CollectiveEvolution

Look at that beast. You could fit it in a couple back yards and it could power your neighborhood as well as some surrounding communities.

And the water? Le me put it this way. If you had a container that was a meter square, a touch over 3 feet on each side, it would be over 120 feet tall to hold one day’s worth of water. That’s a 12 story building.

That’s a lot of, very clean & drinkable, water.

And this bad boy can generate that every day.

Plus, the cool thing about water is that it’s a 100% renewable resource. It gets returned to the ground once we’re done using it or it evaporates. Either way it can be reused by the collectors over and over at no cost to the planet.

No more drought and plenty of power to make things work.

Now that sounds like good science to me.

Pavilions – Science & Gods (official music video) from Daniel Peters on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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Planning is Key

September 7, 2013 by Bill McCormick

After Armageddon, survivors will perform interpretative dance in front of dead trees. It will be all the rage.
After Armageddon, survivors will perform interpretative dance in front of dead trees. It will be all the rage.
There are times when you have to shield your eyes because the stupid shines so bright. Today I was going to write about naked criminals in Florida. The state appears to be festooned with them. But then I received an email, which I will quote without naming the author, that changed my whole day. It said, “How come you don’t write about the AG asteroid (AG means Alien Grown) that the aliens have aimed at us? Are you one of their lackeys?” Now, to be fair, seeing “lackey” used in its proper form did brighten my day. The rest? Not so much. The asteroid he’s talking about, for those of you who don’t wear tinfoil hats and swear at cats, is called 2011 AG5. It is a real asteroid. It is very big. It will come close to Earth in 2040. And then it will go away. Those things I just wrote, and you just read, are called facts. You may have noted the distinct lack of aliens or death of all life on the planet. I should add that it will be able to be seen with a homemade telescope and it should be cool as hell when it happens. Still, sadly, no alien Armageddon.

You need not just rely on my word. Our old pal, Ian O’Neill, from Discover News, wrote a very nice piece about this a while back. In it he details what won’t happen to us.

This is a bit of cheery news a day after the nonsensical “Mayan Apocalypse of 2012″ — the potentially hazardous asteroid 2011 AG5 will not (I repeat, will not) threaten Earth in the year 2040.

The 140-meter wide space rock whopper hit the headlines soon after it was discovered as its projected orbit gave it a 0.2 percent chance of giving us a very bad day in 2040. But University of Hawaii at Manoa astronomers rose to the challenge to better refine the asteroid’s orbital trajectory to reveal that 2011 AG5 will miss us by 890,000 kilometers (550,000 miles) — that’s over twice the Earth-moon distance.

On cosmic scales, that’s close, but on mass hysteria-oh-my-gawd-it’s-gonna-hit-us!-scales, we’re totally safe.

University of Hawaii Institute for Astronomy (IfA) astronomers David Tholen, Richard Wainscoat and Marco Micheli gathered the new asteroid trajectory data via the 8-meter Gemini North telescope atop Mauna Kea, Hawaii, to zero in on the faint light being reflected by the asteroid on Oct. 20, 21 and 27, 2012.

These data were then given to NASA’s Near-Earth Object Program Office at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif., who confirmed: “…the risk of collision in 2040 has been eliminated,” says the IfA press release.

Although the newly refined trajectory is not vastly different from the approximated trajectory astronomers originally calculated for the space rock, the orbital uncertainties have been reduced by a factor of 60. Asteroid hunting astronomers can now, definitively, say that 2011 AG5 will not hit Earth in February 2040.

This result wasn’t entirely unexpected. Observations in May 2012 had narrowed the uncertainty and everything was looking positive. The IfA observations finally reduced the risk to a definite zero.

Interestingly, the press release was issued yesterday, when the world was fixated on the fake Maya prophesy of the end of the world. What a coincidence…

Now, if that’s too far out on your calendar, I have good news for you. Earlier this year I compiled a complete list of impending Armageddons. Party planners of the world, REJOICE!

The nice people at Bible.ca have listed the 242 known apocalypses in case you want to mark those special days on your calendar.

Library of Date setters for end of the world!

Date Event
44 Theudas declared himself the Messiah, taking 400 people with him into the desert. T beheaded by Roman soldiers. Josephus records this.
53 Even before all the books of the Bible were written, there was talk that Christ’s return had already taken place. The Thessalonians panicked on Paul, when they heard a rumor that the day of the Lord was at hand, and they had missed the rapture.
80 Ben Zakkai died about 80, and expected the Messiah about the time of his death
100 -200 Rabbi Eliezer ben Hyrcanus (1-2 Cent) thought the days of the Messiah would last 40 years. Before Bar Kochba the Mess. age was short; longer afterward
130 Rabbi Jose, the Galilean, a contemporary of Hyrcanus and Azariah, thought the Messiah would come in three generations (60 years), after the destruction; namely 130 (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
381 Return of Christ; Tichonus a writer of the 4th Cent (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
400 Hippolytus “calculated that 5,500 years separated Adam and Christ and that the life of the world was 6,000 six full ‘days’ of years until the seventh the day of rest.” His calculations in 234 indicted there were still two centuries left. (from A History of the End of the World, Rubinsky and Wiseman, 1982)
400 Rabbi Dosa (2-3rd Century) said the Messiah would come at the end of 400 years. This was based (?) on Gen. 15:13 (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
435 Messiah comes; Rabbi Judah ha-Nasi (135-220) believed Messiah would come 365 years after Temple destroyed in 70 (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
470 Messiah would come; Rabbi Hanina (3rd C), though Messiah would come 400 years after Temple Destruction. (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
500 A Roman priest and theologian in the second and third centuries, predicted Christ would return in A.D. 500, based on the dimensions of Noah’s ark.
500 Return of Christ; Hyppolytus (170-236) and Lactantius (250-330) said 500 would be the time for the second coming of Christ (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
950 Acrostic on the end of the world, predecessor of Celano’s “Dies irae,” found in a ms. from Aniane (second half of the tenth century, ed. Paulin Blanc,”Nouvelle Prose sur le Dernier Jour, Composée avec chant noté, vers l’An Mille…”Mémoires de la Société Archéologique de Montpellier, 2 (1850), 451-509, second copy located by Michel Huglo: BN lat. 1928 f.178, Fécamp c.1040).
950 “Treatise on the Antichrist” by Adso of Montier-en-Der, c.950, a response to a variety of crises at mid-century that provoked widespread apocalyptic disquiet, and rapidly become a central text in the European eschatological literature (ed. by Verhelst, CCSL, Cont. med. aeui 40; study in the context of 1000, by Verhelst, “Adso van Montier-en-Der en de angst voor het jaar Duizend,” Tijdschrift voor Geschiedenis, 90 (1977), 1-10); and C. Carozzi, La fin des temps: Terreurs et prophéties au Moyen Age (Paris: Stock, 1982), pp.186-94. See below # .
950-80: Letter on the Hungarians that speaks of widespread apocalyptic reactions among the population, Ac primum dicendum opinionem quae innumeros tam in vestra quam in nostra regione persuasit frivolam esse et nihil veri in se habere, qua putatur Deo odibilis gens Hungrorum esse Gog et Magog ceteraeque gentes quae cum eis describuntur… Dicunt enim nunc esse novissimum saeculi tempus finemque imminere mundi, et idcirco Gog et Magog esse Hungros, qui numquam antea auditi sunt, sed modo, in novissimo temporum apparuerunt. R.B.C. Huygens, “Un témoin” [n.11], p.231, lines 94-106; letter from the bishop of Auxerre to the bishop of Verdun (commentary by Huygens, p.236f). Dated variously early tenth century, or, according to Huygens, to second half of the tenth (“Un témoin de la crainte de l’an 1000: La lettre sur les Hongrois,” Latomus, 15 (1956), 224-38); considered the background of Adso’s treatise (see below #3).
950 In A.D. 950 Adso of Montier-en-Der wrote a “Treatise on the Antichrist” which was a response to a number of mid-century crises that had provoked widespread alarm and fear of an end-time apocalypse.(5) Five years later, Abbo of Fleury heard a preacher in Paris who announced that the Antichrist would be unleashed in the year 1000 and that the Last Judgment would soon follow.(6) At about the same time a panic occurred in the German army of Emperor Otto I because of a solar eclipse that the soldiers mistook as a sign of the end of the world.(7) And when the last Carolingian dynasty fell with the death of King Louis V in 987, many saw this event as a precursor to the arrival of the Antichrist. King Otto II of Germany had Charlemagne’s body exhumed on Pentecost in the year 1000 supposedly in order to forestall the apocalypse. Both Halley’s comet in A.D. 989 and a super nova in A.D. 1006 were interpreted as signs of the end. About the same time, the Moslem caliph, Al Hakim, destroyed the Holy Sepulcher in Jerusalem prompting apocalyptic fear in the west as well as violent anti-Jewish outbursts.(8)
964: “Dum saeculum transit finis mundi appropinquat…” [As the saeculum (century?) passes, the end of the world approaches.] Cartulaire de Saint-Jouin-de-Marnes, pp.1, 11, 17.
965: Abbo hears a preacher in Paris announcing the unleashing of Antichrist for 1000 AD and the Last Judgment for shortly thereafter (see below # 7, 17).
968: Panic in Otto’s army at an eclipse the soldiers took to portend the end of the world (Gesta episcoporum Leodensium, MGH SS IX, p.202)
968-9: Annalists note in the margin of Easter tables: mille anni a nativitate Christi, based on a “misreading” of the base year in the Easter Tables as Anno passionis. Three years earlier unusual events with apocalyptic tonality (fire from heaven, release of demons) occur. (Annales de Saint Florent de Saumur, et de Vendôme, Halphen Recueil d’annales angevines, p.58 n.2, 116 n.6.) Note that, in typical capstone style, Halphen does not include the note, with its millennial consciousness in the text of his edition, nor even in a footnote to that year, but appended to a footnote for another year, and explained away as a mistake.
969 and/or 980: widespread apocalyptic expectation in Lotharingia at the coincidence of the Annunciation and the Crucifixion agaist which Abbo writes a letter.
979: Igneae acies visae sunt in caelo per totam noctem 5 Kalendas Novembris. Hoc anno complentur mille anni a nativitate Christi, secundum veritatem evangelii, qui secundum cyclum Dionisii anno abhinc 21 finiuntur; sicque in anno domincae passionis veritati evangelicae contraitur. Sigebert of Gembloux,Chronicon universale c.1114, PL 160 c.194 (here using Abbo’s correction of the date AD; see next item).
983-4: Abbo redates the year 1000 four years into the past (true AD 1000 = Dionysus’ 979) using the apocalyptic beliefs above (#7, see also #17) as the basis of his calculations.
987-91: The last Carolingian dynasty (the final hindrance to the arrival of Antichrist according to Adso) falls; the capture of the last potential ruler occurs under most dastardly cirumstances. Southern charters begin to date AD, with Christ reigning, a traditional interregnal formula with apocalyptic antecedants (Kantarowicz, The King’s Two Bodies, p. ).
989, August: Halley’s Comet appears, cited in Annales divionenses, MGH SS V, p. ; andAnnales Quedlinburgenses MGH SS III, p.68; Thietmar of Mersebourg, ChroniconIV, 10; (also Glaber III, 3? acc. to France, p.110-11, and n.4, but see below under 1006, #29); P. Moore and J. Mason, The Return of Halley’s Comet (Cambridge, 1984), p.46)
989-1000: First wave of peace councils in the South (see below).
990s: mention of apocalyptic beliefs leading to violent seizure of church property at St. Hilaire.
990s-1010s: Preaching of Aelfric and Wulfistan, filled with images of Last Judgment, explicity linked at points to the year 1000 and the unleashing of Antichrist (Gatch, Milton McC., Preaching and Theology in Anglo-Saxon England: Aelfric and Wulfstan (Toronto, U. Press, 1977).
992: Coincidence of Crucifixion and Annunciation; Nouaillé begins its charters for the next decade with “Appropinquante finem mundi…”; Adso, an old man, leaves on a one-way pilgrimage to Jerusalem; German chronicles report light from north at dawn like the sun, rumor among many that 3 suns, 3 moons and stars were fighting, indicating heavy mortality and famine (Thietmar IV, 19; An. Quedl. ad an. 993, MGH SS III, 69; Annales Augustani, ibid. p.124).
994-1000: Outbreaks of sacer ignis throughout France, associated in Limoges with the Peace of God.
994-5: various signs (including a monstrous child), famines, plagues and mortality in Saxony, referred to as the biblical “tria iudicia pessima” (Annales Quedlinburgenses, MGH SS, III p.94; also Thietmar IV, 17; Annales Augustani, MGH SS III, 124).
994-6: De fine quoque mundi coram populo sermonem in Ecclesia Parisiorum adolescentulus audivi, quod statim finito mille annorum numero Antichristus adveniret, et non longo post tempore universale iudicium succederet: cui praedicationi ex Evangeliis ac Apocalypsi et libro Danielis, qua potui virtute, resistiti. Denique et errorem qui de fine mundi inolevit abbas meus beatae memoriae Richardus sagaci animo propulit, post quam litteras a Lothariensibus accepit, quibus me respondere iussit; Nam fama pene totum mundum impleverat, quod, quando Annuntiatio Dominica in Parasceve contigisset absque ullo scrupulo finis saeculi esset. De initio etiam Adventus qui ante Nativitatem Domini per singulos annos agitur, aliquando error gravissimus extitit, aliis inchoantibus post v. Kalendas Decembris aliis ante, cum numquam plus quatuor ebdomadas, saltem unam diem Adventus habeat; cumque de huiusmodi diversitate soleant contempiones in Ecclesia crescere, concilio determinandum est, ut omnes qui in ea viviumus unum sapiamuis quod vestra industria CONCEDAT qui nos unanimes VULT HABERE IN DOMO SUA.” Abbo of Fleury, Apologeticus ad hugonem et rodbertum reges francorum, London, BM 10972, f.22v; PL 139 c.471-2; dated before 996 by Vidier (p.105- 7); 994-5 by Mostert (p.48-51). Concerning the end of the world, as a youth (adolescentulus) I heard a sermon in a [the?] church in Paris that as soon as the number of a thousand years should come, the Antichrist would come, and not long thereafter, the Last Judgment would follow; which preaching I resisted with all my strength from the Evangels and the Apocalypse and the book of Daniel.
994-999: Otto III engages in elaborate program of renovatio imperii romani that, from the apocalyptic scenario, would reaffirm the existence of the “barrier” to Antichrist, particulary important given the demise of the last of the Carolingians in the previous decade (see above # 3, 9). In this he recapitulated many of Charlemagne’s responses to the coming of the year 6000 (see below # 14, 17).
999 “Iste fuit Girbertus, tempore cuius inpletus est annus millesimus ab incarnatione Domini.” Annales Pragenses ad an. 999, MGH SS III, 120.
1000 This year goes down as one of the most pronounced states of hysteria over the return of Christ. All members of society seemed affected by the prediction that Jesus was coming back on Jan 1, 1000 AD. There really weren’t any of the events required by the Bible transpiring at that time. The magical number 1000 was primarily the sole reason for the expectation. During December 999 AD, everyone was on their best behavior; worldly goods were sold and given to the poor, swarms of pilgrims headed east to meet the Lord at Jerusalem, buildings went unrepaired, crops were left unplanted, and criminals were set free from jails. The year 999 AD turned into 1000 AD and nothing happened.
1000 Annales Elnonenses, ad an. 1000; MGH SS V, p.12; contemporary hand; noted in mid-11th century by the Annales Laubienses and Leodinienses, MGH SS 5, 18. Anno dominicae incarnationis 1000, ind. 13. epacta 12. concurrente 1. termino pascali 9. Kal. Apr. 4 Kal Apr. feria 6, celebrantibvus christicolis sacrosanctae passionis ac redemtionis illius misterium, terraemotus magnus factus est, non ita ut pepe accidere solet, vento in benas terrae condito, ubi concava terrarum viscera his motibus subiacent veluti venti capacia; sed generali et vasto tremore totius obrbis magnitudo passim contremuit, ut cunctis fieret manifestum, quod ore veritatis fuerat ante promissum. His namque et aliis signis quae praenuntiata fuerunt opere completis, hinc iam fit nostra spes certior omni visu, de his quae restant ordine complendis.
1000 Otto returns to Aachen where he exumes Charlemagne’s body on Pentecost of the year 1000.
1000 Gerbert/Sylvester and Otto III carry out an unusual procession on August 15, 1000: “In assumptione sancte Mariae nocte quando tabula portatur” (Bamberger manuscript from 1067 published in Giesebrecht, Geschichte der Deutchen Kaiserzeit II, Documents; also see Lausser, Gerbert, p.325; Molinier II, Mabillon II, 226, 334; Histoire littéraire XIII, 600;
1000 Outbreak of heresies in France, Italy, south-west Mediterranean that Glaber interprets as the unleashing of Satan according to Revelations (Historiarum, II, 22-23; ed. France, p.88-93).
1000 All the references, still poorly known, from computist texts that privilege the year 1000, which, coming in the middle of a 19 year cycle (988 1006) should neither begin nor end any Easter table: cf. Vat.reg.lat.1127 f.10v, from 920 to “MILLE”; St. Gall 902, 817-999; St. Gall 387, 1001-1129.
1000 “Tertio Ottone imperante. Millesimus annus supercrescens statute computationis numerum, secundum illud quod legitur scriptum: Millesimus exsuperat et transcendit omnia annus.” Annales Hildesheimenses III, Préface (MGH SS III, ), written c.1040.
1000 “Interea millesimus ab incarnatione Domini annus feliciter impletus est et hic est annus archiepiscopi 12.” Adam of Bremen, Gesta Hammaburgensis ecclesiae pontificum (II, xl; MGH SS 7.320) late eleventh century.3
1000 “Data mense augusto, regnante Rotberto rege, anni ab Incarnatione Domni nostri Jesu Christi usque in presentem diem mille et I.” (Charter of Saint- Hilaire of Poitiers, ed. Redet, #67, p.76).
1000 references to 1000 taken from Sigebert in later medieval chroniclers: see the collection in Bouquet, Historiens des Gaules de de la France, 10.xcix, 28de, 28de,197b, 205b, 217c, 271c, 282a, 290b, 291a, 299c, 319b.
1000 Five reasons why 1000AD was not a significant date:

  1. People did not even know the date — peasants had no notion of chronological time, elites used a variety of systems and even those using AD disagreed.
  2. There are no theological reasons for 1000 to have eschatological significance.
  3. There is almost no surviving evidence of any apocalyptic terrors from the period.
  4. The little that survives is not directly related to 1000, but to dates such as 968, 1010 and 1033.
  5. Therefore we should not be surprised to find 1000 was a “year like any other” in which the normal train of medieval life — wars, councils, ploughing, and praying — went on in uninterrupted flow.

The utter absence of documentation attesting to apocalyptic beliefs and movements is, in this view, decisive proof. How can one possibly argue that a whole generation is obsessed with something about which they do not talk? by Richard Landes

Click on picture to see full size

 

1002, December: aparuit in aere portentum mirabile, species uidelict seu ipsa moles immensi draconis a septemtrionali plaga egrediens cum nimia coruscatione petebat austrum. Quod prodigium pene homines uniuersos qui uidere infra Gallias terruit. (Glaber, Historiarum 2.8.15; France p. 78, with further references in Chronicon sci petri vivi, p.107 n.7; Hugh of Flavigny, p.368; cf. St. Arnulf (Geary, Phantoms); ipse vero anno antequam moreretur, multa prodigia in caelo visa sunt. nam quadam die 19 kal. ian., circa horam 9 quasi quedam facula ardens viso celo cum longo tractu instar fulguris terris delabitur, tanto sane splendore ut non modo qui foras in agris, verumetiam in tectis erupto per quaeque patentia lumine, occuli ferirentur. ipsa vero caeli fissura dum elementis in se invicem propinquantibus sensim evanesceret, interim, mirabile dictu, quasi in similitudine serpentis, crescente quidem capite cum cerruleis pedibus visa est figurare. et hoc non sine grande admiratione multis spectantibus paulo post his parvit… ipso etiam anno cometae apperuerunt. imperator contra romanos… obiit.” Gesta episcoporum Cameracensium 1.114; MGH SS 7.451.
1003 According to Glaber Europe covers self in white mantle of Churches (Historiarum III, 4; ed. France, p.114-17)
1003: Annales de Saint-Benoît-sur-Loire, [= 1000 + 3,5 years of Antichrist] (BN lat. 5543, f.22; ed. MGH SS II, p.255; PL 139 col.583, cf. Augustin, De civ. Dei, XX, 13. See also Miracula s. Benedicti, III, 9; ed. de Certain, p.150-53. Note that this text is evidence of how little impact Abbo’s efforts to correct Dionysus Exiguus (above #10) was: even his own disciples ignored his proposed calculations.
1004: Post salutiferum intemerate virginis partum millenarii numeri linea consummata et in quinto cardinalis ordinis loco et in eiusdem quarte ebdomade inicio clarum mane illuxit seculo (Thietmar de Meersebourg, Chronicon VI, 1; ed. Holtzmann and Trillmich, p.243 and n.7). cf: “Nempe haec assidue. Iam clarum mane fenestras intrat et augustus extendit lumine rimas.” (A Persius Flaccus, Satires III, 1)
1005-1006: Terrible famine throughout Europe, associated with apocalyptic portents in several texts: Annales Sangallienses by Hepidannus “Ecce fames qua per secla non saevior ulla” (MGH SS 1.81); Annales Leodinienses and Laubienses, MGH SS IV, p.18; Annales Quedlinbourgenses ad an. 1009 MGH SS 3.80; Annales Hildesheimenses, ad an.1006); Glaber, Quinque libri, 2.9 (5 years ca. 1001-1006); Hugh of Flavigny (based on Glaber); Chronicon Turonensis ad an. 1006; Sigebert of Gembloux ad an. 1006);
1006, May: New star sighted in heavens (Super Nova of 1006), at same time a chapelain of the Emperor converts to Judaism (Albert of Metz, De diversitate temporum, I, 6-7; II, 22-3 ed. MGH SS IV, p.704, 720-3; Annales Leodiniensesand Laubienses, MGH SS IV, p.18; Annales Mosomagenses, MGH SS 3.161;Annales Beneventani, ibid., p.177; probably Radulphus Glaber Quinque libri3.3.9; Chronicon Venetum, MGH SS 7.36). B. Goldstein, “The Supernova of A.D. 1006,” The Astronomical Journal 70 (1965): 105-111.
1009-10: Destruction in Jerusalem of Holy Sepulchre by the chiliastic Moslem caliph Al Hakim, apocalyptic reaction in West including violent anti- Jewish outbursts (Glaber, Ademar, Annales Lemovicenses, ad an. 1010; Annales Beneventani, ad an. 1010, MGH SS III, p.177;
1009 Rain of blood; sun turns red and fails to shine for three days; plague and death follow (Annales Quedlinbourgenses ad an. 1009 MGH SS 3.80).4
1010: Brythfird commentaries note that the 1000 years of the Apocalypse are completed according to human calculations, therefore supporting Augustine’s allegorical reading
1011-1012: apocalyptic vision of monk at St-Vaast recorded by Richard of Saint-Vanne (Hugh of Fleury, MGH SS 8.***)
1012-1014: Various prodigies and natural disasters provoke the expulsion of the Jews from Mainz and lead some to believe that the world was “returning to its original chaos.” (Annales Quedlinburgenses, MGH SS, III p.82-3.
1018: Pre-dawn panic and trampling at St. Martial followed by outbreak of heresy throughout the south, seen as agents of Antichrist by Ademar of Chabannes (Historia 3.**, ; see below II-8).first third eleventh century: Heribert the monk reports a heresy from the Perigord, apocalyptic tone to the letter (see Head and Landes, Peace of God, pp. 347-50)
1022: Burning of heretics at Orléans, described in several texts in apocalyptic tones (John of Ripoll, Ademar of Chabannes, Radulphus Glaber; cf. I Corinthians)
1024?: Letter from heaven calling for Peace Councils circulates throughtout Northern France (Gesta episcoporum cameracensium, II, 52; MGH SS V, p. .)
1025: Radulphus Glaber begins a world history that, under the guidance of William of Volpiano, explicitly makes the year 1000 the focal point: “Ipsius namque imperio maxima iam ex parte eventuum ac prodigiorum, quae circa et infra Incarnati Salvatoris annum contigere millesimum, descripseram.” (Vita Willelmi Divionensis of Radulphus Glaber, 28; ed., PL 142, col. 718; Niethard Bulst,Deutsches Archiv, 30 (1974), p.485; France, p.294-7).
1025: Adémar de Chabannes begins a world history whose major theme from 1010 on is apocalyptic signs and prodigies (Historia 3.46-7, 49, 52, 56, 59, 62; see Landes, Relics, chap. 6).
1026-7: Large collective pilgrimage to Jerusalem led by Richard of St. Vaast.
1028: Rain of Blood (classic apocalyptic sign) on the Aquitanian shore provokes letters from William V to Robert, Robert to Gauzlin of Bourges and Fulbert of Chartres on their opinion (correspondance of latter two in Bautier Vita Gauzlini, p.159-67; see treatment in Fried, “Endzeiterwartung,” pp.385-87)
1029-32: Ademar of Chabannes produces some 500 folios of historical fiction in which apocalyptic themes play a major role.
1030-33: terrible famine throughout France (Glaber, Ademar, et al.)
1030-46: Mention of heresies throughout Christendom (Italy, Gaul, Greece, Hungary) by Gerard, bishop of Csanád (Deliberatio supra hymnum trium puerorum, IV, ll.447-75 (associated in his commentary with Revelation 19:17- 21 (ll. 489ff); ed. G. Silagi, CCSL Cont. med. aeui, 49, pp.50-1; cf. also VI, ll.704ff, where similar anti-ecclesiastical phenomena are associated with Revelation 20:7; ed. p.96f).
1031-3: wave of peace councils throughout France, starting in Aquitaine (documents from Vich, Poitiers, Limoges, Burgundy, Arras?), associated with millennium of Passion by Glaber IV, 4.
1033 This year was sighted as the beginning of the millennium because it marked 1000 years since Christ’s crucifixion.
1033 -36 Deacon of Orleans leaves for Jerusalem on pilgrimage out of apocalyptic expectations.
1033: prodigies, eclipse, ignis ardentium, massive earthquake etc. leads to penitential procession in Jouarre-Rebais, dated millennium of the Passion, Miracles de Saint-Ayeul (Miracula sancti agili abbatis, 1, 3; AA SS Août VI, p.588);
1033: Mass pilgrimage to Jerusalem noted in Ademar and Glaber (who associates it with apocalyptic expectation)
1114 Sigebert of Gembloux, Chronicon universale c.1114, PL 160.198; MGH SS 6.353-4 Anno Jesu Christi millesimo secundum supputationem Dionisii multa prodigia visa sunt. Terraemotus factus est permaximus; cometes apparuit; 19 Kalendas Januarii circa horam 9 fisso caelo quasi facula ardens cum longo tractu instar fulguris illabitur terris, tanto splendore, ut non modo qui in agris erant, sed etiam in tectis, irrupto lumine ferirentur. Qua caeli fissura sensim evanescente, interim visa est figura quasi serpentis, capite quidem crescente, cum ceruleis pedibus.
1135-1202 The Calabrian monk, Joachim of Fiore (ca. A.D. 1135 1202) stands out as a key figure in medieval apocalypticism. On Easter Sunday in 1183 he was inspired to write his massive Exposition on Revelation. Later near the end of his life, he summarized his prophetic knowledge in the Book of Figures. His writings influenced a wide range of medieval events. The Franciscan order was founded on the basis that they would be the spiritual elite described in Joachim’s “Age of the Spirit,” a future time when God would send revelation directly to believers. Using Joachim’s hints, writers concluded that the “Age of Grace” would end and the “Age of the Spirit” would begin in A.D. 1260. This prophecy, mixed with German social unrest, created a myth surrounding Frederick II. Having ruled from 1220 to 1250, many believed that Frederick was the “Emperor of the Last Days” who would usher in the new Millennium.The myth gained force when Frederick seized Jerusalem in 1229. When he died in 1250, a new myth started that Frederick would return from the dead. Two pseudo-Fredericks were burned at the stake by his successor to the throne. The Book of a Hundred Chapters stated that the returned Frederick would lead a fight against corruption in the state and the church, and that he will instruct his followers to “Go on hitting them” (referring to the Pope and his students) and to “Kill every one of them!” (Paul Boyer, When Time Shall Be No More: Prophecy Belief in Modern American Culture, Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press, Harvard University, 1992, p. 53-55)
1186 The “Letter of Toledo” warned everyone to hide in the caves and mountains. The world would be destroyed and only a few would be spared.
1415 The Taborites, founded in A.D. 1415, also looked back to Joachim for their prophetic beliefs. They believed that once their persecutors were defeated, Christ would return and rule the world from Mount Tabor, a mountain they had renamed south of Prague. Their communal activities eventually turned bloody, prompted by tracts with lines like, “Accursed be the man who withholds his sword from shedding the blood of the enemies of Christ.” (Paul Boyer, When Time Shall Be No More: Prophecy Belief in Modern American Culture, Cambridge, Mass.: The Belknap Press, Harvard University, 1992, p. 53-55) After a crushing defeat at the hands of the German army, the group quickly disbanded. Although all of these prophecies were misguided, it would be a mistake to doubt the sincerity of the individuals. However, the events surrounding the end of the first millennium should temper our desire to make predictions about the coming new millennium. Next, we will look at more recent predictions that have been just as wrong.
1420 The Taborites of Czechoslovakia predicted every city would be annihilated by fire. Only five mountain strongholds would be saved.
1524-1526 Muntzer, a leader of German peasants, announced that the return of Christ was near. After he and his men destroyed the high and mighty, the Lord would return. This belief led to an uneven battle with government troops where he was strategically out-numbered. Muntzer claimed to have a vision from God where the Lord promised that He would catch the cannon balls of the enemy in the sleeves of His cloak. The vision turned out to be false when Muntzer and his followers were mowed down by cannon fire.
1533 Beginning of the Millennium, Anabaptists (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
1533 Christ’s Coming and Judgment at 8:00 AM October 19, 1533; Michael Stiefel (1486-1567) Acq. with Martin Luther, and taken into Luther’s home when he had not given away all possessions. (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
1533 End of the world, preceded by 3-1/2 years of apocalyptic tribulation. (Melchoir Hoffman, from S German Imperial Free City of Schwabish Hall.) Associated with Srousbourg Anabaptists, some called Melchoirites Emphasized “inner” word to “outer” written word (Gary K. Waite “David Joris and Dutch Anabaptism 1524-1543” Wilfrid Laurier University Press (Waterloo, Ontario), 1990.)
1534 A repeat of the Muntzer affair occurred a few years late. This time Jan Matthys took over the city of Munster. The City was to be the only one spared destruction. The inhabitants of Munster, chased out by Matthys and his men, regrouped and lay siege to the city. Within a year everyone in the city was dead.
1534 Easter: April 5, 1534 Return of Christ; Jan Mattijs, a “prophet” replacing Melchoir Hoffman (see 1533) who was imprisoned. Claimed Munster, not Strasbourg was the New Jerusalem; later Amsterdam. (Gary K. Waite “David Joris and Dutch Anabaptism 1524-1543” Wilfrid Laurier University Press (Waterloo, Ontario), 1990.)
1572 Benedictus Aretius of Berne (1505-1547) calculated that 1260 years added to the year Constantine made Christianity the official religion (312+1260=1572) should be the year. (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
1621 Soon after 1621; Sir Henry Finch; (Book: The World’s Great Restauration or The Calling of the Jews) Peter Toon noted that 80 books were published in England by 1649
1650-1660 The Fifth Monarchy Men looked for Jesus to establish a theocracy. They took up arms and tried to seize England by force. The movement died when the British monarchy was restored in 1660.
1656 Conversion and Return of the Jews; Mary Cary; mentioned in Armageddon Now! by Dwight Wilson
1656 End of the World; Christopher Columbus; Book: Book of Prophecies (99 Reasons Why No One Knows When Christ Will Return, by B J Oropeza, Foreward by Hank Hanegraaff, IVP publishing, 1994)
1666 To the citizens of London, 1666 was not a banner year. A bubonic plague outbreak killed 100,000 and the Great Fire of London struck the same year. The world seemed at an end to most Londoners. The fact that the year ended with the Beast’s number (666), didn’t help matters either.
1666 generated much discussion as it was 1000 + 666 (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
1715 Christ’s coming; Isaac Newton, a note in his research on the Law of Gravity (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
1715 Coming of Christ; William Whiston, who succeeded Newton as the Professor of Mathematics at Cambridge; also trans. Josephus removed from his professorship (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
1809 Mary Bateman, who specialized in fortune telling, had a magic chicken that laid eggs with end time messages on them. One message said that Christ was coming. The uproar she created ended when she was caught forcing an egg into the hen’s oviduct by an unannounced visitor. Mary later was hanged for poisoning a wealthy client.
1814 Spiritualist Joanna Southcott made the startling claim that she, by virgin birth, would produce the second Jesus Christ. Her abdomen began to swell and so did the crowds of people around her. The time for the birth came and passed – she died soon after. An autopsy revealed it had been a false pregnancy.
1836 John Wesley wrote that “the time, times and half a time” of Revelation 12:14 were 1058­1836, “when Christ should come” (apud A. M. Morris, The Prophecies Unveiled, p. 361)
1836 Millenium begins; John Wesley, founder of Methodism; see 1836, J A Bengel (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
1836 Millennium begins; Johann Albrecht Bengel (1687-1752) divided 666 by 42 (months) and came outh that each month = 15-6/7 years. Came up with date using this formula (Luther Martin, Date Setters, Guardian of Truth, Sept. 15, 1994)
1843-1844 William Miller was the founder of an end-times movement that was so prominent it received its own name– Millerism. From his studies of the Bible, Miller determined that the second coming would happen sometime between 1843-1844. A spectacular meteor shower in 1833 gave the movement a good push forward. The build up of anticipation continued until March 21, 1844, when Miller’s one year time table ran out. Some followers set another date of Oct 22, 1844. This too failed, collapsing the movement. One follower described the days after the failed predictions, “The world made merry over the old Prophet’s predicament. The taunts and jeers of the ‘scoffers’ were well-nigh unbearable.”
1859 Rev Thomas Parker, a Massachusetts Minister, looked for the millennium to start about 1859.
1874 invisible return of Christ; Original position of the Watchtower. Then Charles Taze Russell predicted the Rapture in 1910, followed by End of the World in 1914–later interpreted as invisible return of Christ. (99 Reasons Why No One Knows When Christ Will Return, by B J Oropeza, Foreward by Hank Hanegraaff, IVP publishing, 1994)
1881 Someone called Mother Shipton 400 years earlier claimed the world would end in 1881. A controversy hangs over the Shipton writings, as to whether or not publishers doctored the text. If the date was wrong, should it matter anyway?
1910 The revisit of Haley’s comet was, for many, an indication of the Lord’s second coming. The earth actually passed through the gaseous tail of the comet. One enterprising man sold comet pills to people for protection against the effects of the toxic gases.
1914 was one of the more important estimates of the start of the war of Armageddon by the Jehovah’s Witnesses (Watchtower Bible and Tract Society). They computed 1914 from prophecy in the book of Daniel, Chapter 4. The writings referred to “seven times”. The WTS interpreted each “time” as equal to 360 days, giving a total of 2520 days. This was further interpreted as representing 2520 years, measured from the starting date of 607 BCE. This gave 1914 as the target date.
1914 Charles Russell, after being exposed to the teachings of William Miller, founded his own organization – the Jehovah’s Witnesses. In 1914 Russell predicted the return of Jesus Christ.
1914, 1918, 1920, 1925, 1941, 1975 and 1994 Jw’s: Here are other dates that the Watchtower Society predicted. 1975 looked likely as it was computed as the 6000th anniversary of the creation of Adam in the Garden of Eden in 4026 BCE. They interpreted Psalms 90:10 as defining the length of a generation to be 80 years. Since 1914 plus 80 equals 1994, they predicted Armageddon would occur around that year. The latest estimate was 6000 years after the creation of Eve, for which no date can be determined with any accuracy.
1914 End of World; Charles T. Russel, Jehovah’s Witnesses; later explained that Michael (ie Jesus) had defeated Satan in heaven
1914 ; Jesus invisible and quiet return to the Earth. (Jehovah’s Witnesses, Book: This Means Everlasting Life, page 221) “So A.D. 1914 marks the time of Christ’s invisible return in spirit.” Explained after they said he would return in 1914
1917 Nov. 1917, rebirth of God’s people Israel and awakening of Russia
1918 In 1918, new math didn’t help the Jehovah’s Witnesses from striking out again.
1920 NO DATE ON BOOKLET early this century, periods after names and sections. Franklin Ferguson of New Zealand Booklet: The Lord is Coming (23rd Ed.) “Our Lord’s long-promised Return appears to be at hand….We are not warranted in giving a date…we find the startling truth that everything predicted is now abundantly evident.” (inside cover)
1925 The Witnesses had no better luck in 1925. They already possessed the title of most wrong predictions. They would expand upon it in the years to come.
1953-AUG: David Davidson wrote a book titled “The Great Pyramid, Its Divine Message”. In it, he predicted that the world would end in 1953-AUG.
1957-APR: The Watchtower magazine, quoted (1) a pastor from California, Mihran Ask, as saying in 1957-JAN that “Sometime between April 16 and 23, 1957, Armageddon will sweep the world! Millions of persons will perish in its flames and the land will be scorched.’
1960: Piazzi Smyth, a past astronomer royal of Scotland, wrote a book circa 1860 titled“Our Inheritance in the Great Pyramid.” It was responsible for spreading the belief in pyramidology throughout the world. This is the belief that secrets are hidden in the dimensions of the great pyramids. He concluded from his research that the millennium would start before the end of 1960.
1967 When the city of Jerusalem was reclaimed by the Jews in 1967, prophecy watchers declared that the “Time of the Gentiles” had come to an end.
1970’s This 1970’s tract says: “very likely going to happen in the very near future” Ron Reese

 

1970’s: The late Moses David (formerly David Berg) was the founder of the Christian religious group, The Children of God. He predicted that a comet would hit the earth, probably in the mid 1970’s and destroy all life in the United States.
1970 The True Light Church of Christ made its claim to fame by incorrectly forecasting the return of Jesus. A number of church members had quit their livelihoods ahead of the promised advent.
1973 A comet that turned out to be a visual disappointment, nonetheless, compelled one preacher to announce that it would be a sign of the Lord’s return.
1975 The Jehovah’s Witnesses were back at it in 1975. The failure of the forecast did not affect the growth of the movement. The Watchtower magazine, a major Witness periodical, has over 13 million subscribers.
1975 Armageddon, 1975; Jehovah’s Witnesses; (Various publication, cited in Newsweek Oct. 15, 1984)
1977 We all remember the killer bee scare of the late 70’s. One prophecy prognosticator linked the bees to Rev 9:3-12. After twenty years of progression and the bees are still in Texas, I’m beginning to think of them as the killer snails.
1979 Sept. 10, 1979; Walter M. Simmons; (Booklet: The Day of the Lord, 1978, The final warning sign: June 28, 1967) “Therefore, adding the 12 years, 75 days to the June 28, 1967 date ends on September 10, 1979.” (p. 24).
1981 Lindsey boldly declared that “The Rapture” would occur before Dec. 31, 1981, based on Christian prophesy, astronomy and a dash of ecological fatalism. He pegged the date to Jesus’ promised to return to Earth a generation after Israel’s rebirth. He also made references to the “Jupiter Effect,” a planetary alignment that occurs every 179 years, that would supposedly lead to earthquakes and nuclear plant meltdowns.
1981 Rapture June 28, 1981; Bill Maupin & The Lighthouse Gospel Tract Foundation, Tucson. Figured a miscalculation; changed to Aug. 7, 1981; Return of Christ to occur May 14, 1988; based on Founding State of Israel, May 15, 1948 (Gary DeMar, The Debate Over Christian Reconstruction, Ft. Worth: Dominion Press, 1988.)
1982 It was all going to end in 1982, when the planets lined up and created magnetic forces that would bring Armageddon to the earth.

 

“Scientists are forecasting that soon our solar system will experience some unique and sobering events. This forecast concerning 1982 comes from the scientific investigations of astronomers and is in no way related to astrology and fortune telling. The news is quoted from the September 16, 1974 edition of “Newsweek” magazine, science section. These are the conclusions of John Gribbin, science editor of “Nature” magazine, and of Stephen Plagemann of NASA’s Goddard Space Center in Maryland. These reputable scientists are pointing out that in the latter part of 1982 there will take place an event unique in our solar system. At that time all nine planets will be on the same side of the sun. That happens once every 179 years, but in 1982 the nine planets will not only be on the same side of the sun, but in perfect alignment. “Newsweek” referred to this situation as “An Apocalyptic Prediction:’ In the book that these men have co-authored, “The Jupiter Effect”, they point out that, just as the moon affects earth tides by its gravitational pull, so do the planets affect each other, and particularly Jupiter, because of its great size. This has been linked to the earthquake frequency on our planet earth. What will happen when all the planets come into one line and exert a united gravitational pull on our earth? These scientists speak of eight probable effects: 1) A disturbed magnetic activity in the sun, producing huge firestorms; 2) That the ionosphere of earth will be changed; 3) That radio and television communications will be disrupted; 4) That there will be weird lighting effects from aurora borealis; 5) There will be vast changes in wind patterns; 6) Rainfall and temperature patterns will change; 7) Earth’s rotation, and the length of the days may change; 8) Many earthquakes will occur. “There will be many earthquakes, large and small… and one region where one of the greatest fault systems lies today, under great strain, long overdue for a giant leap forward, and just waiting for the necessary kick, is California.” This is the frightening, apocalyptic vision of the scientists as quoted in “Newsweek.” (Evangelical Tract Distributors, Edmonton, Alta., Canada)”

1982 A group called the Tara Centers placed full-page advertisements in many major newspapers for the weekend of April 24-25, 1982, announced: “The Christ is Now Here!” and predicted that he was to make himself known “within the next two months.” After the date passed, they said that the delay was only because the “consciousness of the human race was not quite right…” Boy, all these years and we’re still not ready.
1984 The Jehovah’s Witnesses made sure in 1984 that no one else would be able to top their record of most wrong doomsday predictions. The Witnesses record is currently holding at nine. The years are: 1874, 1878, 1881, 1910, 1914, 1918, 1925, 1975, and 1984. Lately, the JW’s are claiming they’re out of the prediction business, but it’s hard to teach an old dog new tricks. They’ll be back.
1984 to 1999: In 1983, Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, Guru of the Rajneesh movement predicted massive destruction on earth, including natural disasters and man-made catastrophes. Floods larger than any since Noah, extreme earthquakes, very destructive volcano eruptions, nuclear wars etc. will be experienced. Tokyo, New York, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Bombay will all disappear.
1986: Moses David of The Children of God faith group predicted that the Battle of Armageddon would take place in 1986. Russia would defeat Israel and the United States. A worldwide Communist dictatorship would be established. In 1993, Christ would return to earth.
1987 The Harmonic Convergence planned for Aug. 16-17, 1987, and several New Age events were to occur at that time. The second coming of the serpent god of peace and the Hopi dance awakening were two examples.
1988 The book “88 Reasons Why the Rapture is in 1988” came out only a few months before the event was to take place. What little time the book had, it used effectively. By the time Sept 11-13 rolled around, whole churches were caught up in the excitement the book generated. I personally had friends who were measuring themselves for wings. In the dorm where we lived, my friends were also openly confronting all of the unsaved. It became my job to defuse to situations. In one case, an accosted sinner was contemplating dispensary action against my now distant friends. Finally, the days of destiny dawned and then set. No Jesus. The environment was not the same as Miller’s 1844 failure. To my surprise, the taunting by the unsaved was very brief. I took it that people have very little understanding of the Bible, so they had nothing to taunt my friends with. I made one other interesting observation. The time for the rapture was a 3 day window from Sept 11 to the 13 – my friends had given up hope on the morning of 12. I pointed out that they still had 2 days left, but they had been spooked nonetheless.
1988 Rapture in Rosh Hashanna Sept. 1988 before Sept 21, Edgar C. Whisenant (Book: 88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will be in 1988 (cites Joe Civelli as agreeing with his conclusions)
1988 ANNOUNCING… “ONE OF THE MOST ASTOUNDING BOOKS OF THE GENERATION.” Colin Deal, Author of best-seller. Christ Returns by 1988. “When Your money fails” “This book will prove to you beyond a shadow of a doubt that we are in the last moments of time. It is a catalog of fascinating facts. This extraordinary and explosive HANDBOOK OF THE END TIME may well be the means of the preservation of you and your family.” Rev. Simon Polar Cameron, Founder/ President, Now Hope Bible College (Faith Acres), Peterhead, Scotland. WORLD WIDE MONEYCARD 666 110 205 419 386 968 Your FINAL CARD and NUMBER Is Ready! Is Assigned! Date U.S. plans to insert MARK on body. The Head/Hand Scan Machines are ready! Learn how YOU and others are NOW using the -666 SYSTEM,- including MASTERCARD, VISA, SEARS, PENNEYS, BELKS, Supermarkets, U.S. Government, European Common Market, Sadat. etc. “This book offers proof that we are in the initial stages of the Final Government System.” Colin Deal, Author of best-seller. Christ Returns by 1988. “The dollar will be rendered utterly worthless. probably within 3 years.” J.F. Smith. The Coming Currency Collapse. “HANDBOOK OF THE END TIME” Rev. Simon Pelar Cameron “THE DOLLAR WILL BE CANCELLED.” Willard Cantelon
1988 Return of Christ: May 14, 1988; based on Founding State of Israel, May 15, 1948 Bill Maupin & The Lighthouse Gospel Tract Foundation, Tucson.; Rapture June 28, 1981; Figured a miscalculation; changed to Aug. 7, 1981 (Gary DeMar, The Debate Over Christian Reconstruction, Ft. Worth: Dominion Press, 1988.)
1988 Tribulation begins in 1988; J R Church (Book: Hidden Prophecies in the Psalms, clearly hints that 1988 will be the year.) “Psalms 88-94 seem to describe the future seven years of Jacob’s Trouble in chronological order. This is not to say that the Tribulation Period will begin in 1988” (p, 246).
1989 After the passing of the deadline in 88 Reason’s, the author, Edgar Whisenaunt, came out with a new book called “89 Reasons why the Rapture is in 1989.” This book sold only a fraction of his prior release.
1989 Rapture in Sept. 1989; Edgar C. Whisenant (Book: 88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will be in 1988; The Final Shout: Rapture Report 1989) Revised his thinking after it did not happen in 1988; documented in book Soothsayers of the Second Advent, Wm. Alnor
1990’s: In 1992, David Koresh of the Branch Davidian group in Waco Texas changed the name of their commune from Mt. Carmel to Ranch Apocalypse, because of his belief that the final all-encompassing battle of Armageddon mentioned in the Bible would start at the Branch Davidian compound. They had calculated that the end would occur in 1995. After a 51-day standoff, on 1993-APR-10, 76 members died as a result of a deliberately set fire.
1991 A local group in Australia predicted Jesus would return through the Sydney Harbor at 9:00 am on 31st March, 1991.
1991 Nation of Islam Leader Louis Farrakhan proclaimed the Gulf War would to be “the War of Armageddon … the final War.”
1991 Menachem Schneerson, a Russian born rabbi, called for the Messiah to come by Sept 9, 1991, the start of the Jewish New Year.
1992 28 October 1992

Lee Jang Rim: Mission For The Coming Days 28 October 1992

 

Lee Jang Rim started a church called, “Mission For The Coming Days” was jailed for two years after embezzling 4.4 million dollars 10,000 of his cult followers. He had used the money to buy bonds that matured after the end of the world! Numerology was the basis for the date. Several camera shots that left ghostly images on pictures was thought to be a supernatural confirmation of the date. The cult looked forward to the Second Coming at 9:00 am on this day. They believed that Jesus would return through Sydney Harbour! They had their prayers and songs. At the fatal hour there was a loud countdown of the final seconds – 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, etc. The leaders disappeared after an hour hiding their faces from reporters. One reporter was punched. Some disappointed members committed suicide, probably because they gave all their worldly assets to Lee Jang Rim. Originally from Korea, Australia was the home base, which was abandoned and the phone disconnected for non-payment of the bill.

1992 Oct. 28, 1992, Rapture; Full page ad in USA Today, on Oct. 20, 1991, placed by the Hyoo-go (Rapture) movement. EP News service quoted one sect, “50 million people will die in earthquakes, 50 million from collapsed buildings, 1.4 billion from World War III and 1.4 billion from a separate Armageddon.” (99 Reasons Why No One Knows When Christ Will Return, by B J Oropeza, Foreward by Hank Hanegraaff, IVP publishing, 1994)
1992  

“Some argue that nobody will know the coming of Jesus because the Bible says He will come as a thief. However, be alert, for He will come as a thief only to those who live in darkness, not to those who are in the light.” The tract then quotes 1 Thessalonians 5;2,4 and Revelation 3:3 as proof for this assertion. Questions: Am I now “in the light” because I now “know” (??) it will be October 1992? Did the Thessalonians know this? What if an atheist read this tract? Ridiculous, isn’t it!!! Our anonymous author continues. Jesus “knows and has revealed to thousands already!”

1993 If the year 2000 is the end of the 6000 year cycle, then the rapture must take place in 1993, because you would need 7 years of the tribulation. This was the thinking of a number of prophecy writers.
1994 In the book “1994 the Year of Destiny” F. M. Riley foretold of God’s plan to rapture His people. The name of his ministry is The Last Call and he operates out of Missouri.
1994 Pastor John Hinkle of Christ Church Los Angels caused quite a stir when he announced he had received a vision for God that warned of apocalyptic event on June 9th, 1994. Hinkle, quoting God, said, “On Thursday June the 9th, I will rip the evil out of this world.” At the time, I knew Hinkle’s vision didn’t match up with scripture. From a proper reading of Bible prophecy, the only thing that God could possible rip from the earth would be the Christian Church, and I don’t think God would refer to the Church as “evil.” Some people tried to reinterpret the Hinkle’s unscriptural vision to mean that God would the rip evil out of our hearts when he raptured us. Well, the date came and went with no heart surgery or rapture.
1994 Harold Camping in his book “Are You Ready?” predicted the Lord’s return in Sept 1994. The book was full of methods that added up Bible numbers up to 1994 as the date of Christ’s return.

 

1994 After promising themselves they would not make any more end time predictions, the Jehovah’s Witnesses fell off the wagon and proclaimed 1994 as the conclusion of an 80 year generation – the year 1914 was the starting point.
1994 John Hinkle On Trinity Broadcasting Network quote: “The most cataclysmic experience that the world has ever known sine the resurrection is going to happen.” He said, God said, “On Thursday, June the ninth, I will rip the evil out of this world.” TBN’s Paul Crouch later said maybe something was happening invisibly. (99 Reasons Why No One Knows When Christ Will Return, by B J Oropeza, Foreward by Hank Hanegraaff, IVP publishing, 1994)
1994 Sept. 15, 1994: Last Day and Return of Christ; Harold Camping; Book: 1994? (pub in 1992) “Last Day and return of Christ sometime on or between September 15, 1994…and September 27, 1994.” (p. 531) “I will be surprised if we reach October 1, 1994” (p. 533) Camping hedged his bets though, by offering a back up date of 2011 if 1994 was wrong.
1995 Armageddon Delayed! Jw’s

In early November 1995 Jehovah’s Witnesses made newspaper headlines around the world. This time it was not a record crowd at a stadium convention or even a controversial blood transfusion case that attracted international attention, but the postponement of the End. One headline read: “Armageddon Not Coming,” and the related article stated that Jehovah’s Witnesses had announced that “Armageddon [had] been delayed and [that] the end of the world [was] no longer nigh.” (Victoria Times-Colonist, Sunday 12 November 1995, p. A2) click here for full details

1996 This had a special month, according to one author. He foresaw the month of Sept as the time for our Lord’s return. The Church Age will last 2000 years from the time of Christ’s birth in 4 BC.
1996 California psychic Sheldon Nidle predicted the end would come when 16 million space ships converged upon the Earth on Dec. 17, 1996, along with a host of angels. Nidle explained the passing of the date by claiming the angles placed us in a holographic projection to preserve us and give us a second chance.
1996: The book “The Return of Jupiter: End of the world in the light of the Bible”Dorrance Publishing, Pittsburgh PA predicted a disaster starting in the Pacific Ocean: “A terrible earthquake is going to break the oceanic earth crust under the Pacific Ocean by the year 1996 AD
1996 Millennium Begins; Morgan Edwards (Book: Two Academical Exercises on Subjects Bearing the Following Titles: Millennium, and Las-Novelties written between 1742 adn 1744; pub 1788) Millennium to begin 3-1/2 years after the Rapture; (cited by John Bray reading The Life and Works of M Edwards, Thom. McKibbens Jr)
1996-OCT-23: Since 1658, many Christians have accepted the calculations of James Ussher, an Irish archbishop, who estimated that the first day of creation occurred on 4004-OCT-23 BCE. This would make the time interval between the creation of the world and a common estimate of the birth of Christ to be precisely 4000 years. Some people believe that Ussher fudged the data to make it come out neatly. He also estimated that the end of the world would occur exactly 6000 years later, in the fall of 1996.
1997 In regard to 1997, I’ve received several e-mail messages that pointed to a date when Jesus will return for his church. Two of the more widely known time frames was Monte Judah’s FEB/MAR tribulation start and a May 14 rapture which was based on numerology and the Psalms.
1997 When Rabin and Arafat signed their peace pact on the White House lawn on Sept 13, 1993, some saw the events as the begin of tribulation. With signing of the peace agreement Daniel’s 1260 day countdown was underway. By Adding 1260 days to Sept, 1993; you get Feb 24, 1997.
1997 Stan Johnson of the Prophecy Club saw a 90 percent chance that the tribulation would start Sept 12, 1997. He bases his conclusion on several end-time signs. The date of September 12 was chosen by Johnson because it will be Jesus’ 2000th birthday and it will also be the day of atonement, although not what is currently the Jewish Day of Atonement. Further supporting evidence came from Romanian pastor Dumitru Duduman. In several heavenly visions, Dumitru claimed to had seen the book of life. In one of his earlier visions, there were several pages yet to be completed. In his last vision he noticed the book of life only had one page left. Doing some rough calculating, Johnson and friends figured the latest time frame for the completion of the book of life would have to be September 1997.
1997 or early 1998: The 1997-JUL-29 issue of the Weekly World News carried a statement by a spokesperson of the International Association of Psychics. 92% of their 120,000 members have had the same “end time” vision. Spokesperson Madame Vredeau predicts: A rise in religious belief. Prophets and saints will appear and lead the faithful to safety The oceans will shrink. Deserts expand. Crops will fail; there will be massive starvation Widespread emotional and mental collapse; increase in crime and violence Changing weather patterns; basic laws of nature will be disrupted Satanic demons will appear in broad daylight. War, pestilence, a worldwide plague Mankind will disappear around the year 2001 CE.
1997-1999 Russian scientist Vladimir Sobolyovhas of the Rerikh Academy has analyzed prophesies made by Russian saints, by Nostradamus etc. (6) He announced his conclusions in1997-SEP: that the earth’s axis will suddenly tilt about 30 degrees sometime during the next two years. This will submerge the Scandinavian countries and Britain under water, in what is termed the Armageddon Flood. Siberia will be spared. He expects that aliens will intervene and lead the world into the fourth dimension. Right now, these aliens are on earth, but in hiding. Sobolyovhas said: “If we completely believed in them, we would get lazy. So they are clever. They stay hidden in the fourth dimension and only show themselves from time to time.”
1997 End of World in 1997; Japanese Religious Sect: Aum Shinri Kyo 3000 members; located at base of Mt. Fuji. The words “shinri kyo” mean “supreme truth” and in English it is known as Aum Supreme Truth. Said by ABC News to be radical group; thought to be manufacturing nerve gas ABC World News Tonight, Mar. 21, 1995 Also info from AOL news.
1997-APR-10: Dan Millar, of Surrey, BC, Canada and Bob Wadsworth of the Biblical Astronomynewsletter are two religious researchers. They are following the age-old tradition of looking for signs in the heavens for the arrival of the Antichrist, return of Christ, etc. Ancient prophecies told of heavenly events and even a cross in the sky in advance of momentous developments. Millar and Wadsworth have predicted the arrival of the Antichrist on APR-10. Dan suggested that we watch news from the Vatican and from Jerusalem on that day, because he expects some sort of coup by the Antichrist. He is expected to come to power in the Vatican as Pope Peter II. One heavenly indicator is the intersection by two comets of the star Algol in the constellation Perseus. Comets Hyakutake and Hale-Bopp intersected the star on the same date (APR-11) on two adjacent years (Hyakutake in 1996 and Hale-Bopp in 1997). Plotting the two comets’ trajectories over the period APR-1 to APR-30 on the two years forms an almost perfect cross. They intersect between the eyes of the Medusa head that Perseus is holding in his left hand. “Algol” means “Demon Star” in Arabic. The head is known as Rosh Satan (the head of Satan) in Hebrew. There will be one further heavenly sign: on the evening of APR-10, there will be a lunar occultation of the star Aldebaran in the constellation Taurus.
1997-DEC-31: The 1997-JUL-29 issue of the Weekly World News reported that the biggest end of the world scare since the Cuban missile crisis was circulating through Washington. President Clinton called a secret meeting with leading Bible scholars for the week of JUL-27. A confidential Pentagon memo sparked the scare; it predicts a worldwide cataclysm of unprecedented proportions. Earthquake activity is on a rise and will peak at year-end; the earth’s crust is shifting ominously.
1997-MAR-8: The Vortex of the Star of David religious sect of Luskville, Quebec was quoted (2) as predicting the end of the world on Saturday, MAR-8. A father, Jean Leon Marcoux, was interviewed; he was worried because his children will be visiting their mother at the sect’s commune on that weekend. He approached the Quebec police but was unable to get them to take any action. A spokesperson for the sect stated that they do not have a doomsday scenario.
1997-NOV-27: The Sacerdotal Knights of National Security report that “A space alien captured at a UFO landing site in eastern Missouri cracked under interrogation by the CIA and admitted that an extraterrestrial army will attack Earth on November 27 with the express purpose of stripping our planet of every natural resource they can find a use for — and making slaves of every man, woman and child in the world!“
1997-OCT-20 A Jewish group, called theTemple Mount and Land of Israel Faithful Movementwere expected to attempt to place the cornerstone of a new temple on the Temple Mount in Jerusalem. This is a small piece of real estate that is the most sacred spot in the world to Jews, and one of the most sacred to Muslims. The Rapture Ready home page has predicted that the “Tribulation” would be triggered by that event. Previous attempts had failed either because of riots, or police action. There was one report that they were going to try to airlift the stone by helicopter this time. On OCT-20, several thousand police officers were deployed throughout Jerusalem; they successfully prevented access to the Temple Mount.
1998 Numerology: Because 666 times three equals 1998 some people point to this years as being a prophetically significant year. I had someone call me long distance just so they could pass on to me this earth shattering news.
1998 A Taiwanese cult operating out of Garland Texas predicted Christ would return on Mar 31 of 1998. The group’s leader, Heng-ming Chen, announced God would return, and then invite the cult members aboard a UFO. The group abandoned their second coming prediction when a precursor event failed to take place. The cult’s leader said God would appear on every channel 18 of every TV in the world. Maybe God realized at the last minute, the Playboy Network was channel 18 on several cable systems, and he didn’t want to have Christians watching a porn channel.
1998 On Apr 30, 1998 – when Israel will be age 50 – The tribulation could start. The reasoning for this date has to do with God’s age requirement for priesthood, which is between 30-50.
1998 Marilyn Agee in her book “The End of the Age” has her sights set on May 31, 1998. This date will conclude the 6000 year cycle from the time of Adam. Agee looks for the Rapture to take place on Pentecost also known as the feast of weeks. Another indicator is the fact that the Holy Spirit did not descend upon the until 50 days from Christ’s resurrection before descending on the Church. Israel was born in 1948, add the 50 days and you come up with 1998. If this prophecy fails, numerology will mark itself as one of the most unreliable method of foretelling and yet the most repeated. After her May 31 rapture date failed, Agee, lacking the ability to face up to her error, continued her date setting by using various scripture references to pointing to June 7, 14, and 21.
1998: Centro is a very active religious organization, largely centered in the Philippines. They predict that the world will come to an end in 1998. They recommend that their followers retreat to safe places.
1998: The famous psychic Edgar Cayce predicted that a secret, underground chamber would be discovered between the paws of the Great Sphinx. Inside, there will be documents revealing the history of Atlantis. This revelation will trigger the Second Coming of Christ. This prediction is rather interesting, because two independent studies have revealed that there is in fact an underground structure just where Cayce said it would be!
1998-FEB-26: Edgar Casey predicted that the earth would have a new pole during the winter of 1997-1998. Since the earth spins like a gyroscope, this would take an enormous amount of energy to achieve. That amount of energy would cause a massive disruption to the oceans and the earth’s crust. That could, in turn, cause very serious, worldwide tidal waves, earthquakes and volcanic eruptions.
1998-JUL-5 The Church of the Subgenius predicts that on “X Day“, the end of the world will occur. At that time, “the Men from Planet X, or XISTS, will arrive on Earth, close a deal with “Bob,” rupture the card-carrying Ordained SubGenii up to the Escape Vessels of the Sex Goddesses, and destroy the remaining population of Earth, VERY VERY SLOWLY.” Bob is J.R. Dobbs, leader and High Epopt of the Church of the SubGenius, Living Avatar of Slack, the Saint of Sales. He was responsible for founding the Church on a shifting, sandy beach of hypocrisy.”
1998-MAR-31: About 150 followers of a Taiwanese Christian-Buddhist spiritual sect have moved into Garland TX (a suburb in northern Dallas) to await God’s arrival. On MAR-25, God is expected to broadcast a commercial on Channel 18 in Garland. He will then be reincarnated into a man on MAR-31 at 10:00 AM, local time. They expect to draw a crowd of about one million who want to be touched by God. Their leader, Hoh-Ming Chen, selected Garland because it sounds like “God land”. News reports from Taiwan indicated that the group plans to commit mass suicide if God does not appear. These appear to be unfounded.
1998-OCT The House of Yahweh, Abilene (™) predicts that an end-of-world scenario will start during 1998-OCT. By mid-2001, they predict that 75% of the world’s population will have been killed as a result of nuclear warfare.
1999 TV newscaster-turned-psychic Charles Criswell King said in 1968 that the world as we know it will cease to exist on August 18, 1999.
1999 1999 – Sept – 30: Second Coming of Jesus Christ predicted by Kirk Nelson using Edgar Cayce’s Predictions in correlation with the Christian Bible.
1999: Hon-Ming Chen has founded God’s Salvation Church in Texas. The group believes that a nuclear war will destroy parts of Earth in 1999. They have identified a nine-year old boy as the “Jesus of the East“, a reincarnation of Jesus Christ. They believe that if they can link him up with the “Jesus of the West” then 100 million lives will be spared. The second Jesus is supposed to live in Vancouver BC, look like Abraham Lincoln, and have been born in late 1969. Their search was unsuccessful.
1999-AUG-11 etc.: The WWW site CALENdeRsign® lists a number of astronomical events that will happen as the millennium closes. There has always been an association between such alignments and momentous events in the mind of the public. Starting in late 1999, the following will be observed: 1999-AUG-11: total solar eclipse; visible from Europe 2000-JAN-21: total lunar eclipse; visible in Europe and US 2000-APR: Triple planetary conjunction involving Mars, Jupiter & Saturn 2000-MAY: “Great Conjunction” of Jupiter and Saturn. This also occurred in 7 BCE and is thought by some to be the star that some of the Gospels mentioned as leading the three wise men to Jesus.
1999-AUG-11: According to the 1997-MAY-27 issue of Sun Magazine, the Anti-Christ is alive today and living in the Middle East. On AUG-11, the time of an eclipse of the sun, he will make himself known to the world. “It will be the ultimate war.”Many will perish, and their souls will travel to Heaven or Hell, depending upon which side that they supported during the conflict.
1999-AUG-6: According to the latest interpretation of Biblical prophecy by the Branch Davidian sect, 5 months of major torment will begin as the sixth seal is fulfilled.
1999-DEC-19: Sun Magazine listed a prediction of “Bible expert” Dotson Meade. He predicts that “something will happen that brings about the war which will end the world as we know it… There will be a vicious cycle of storms and earthquakes that lead to the final battle the world has awaited.” This date was derived from information in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
1999-JAN: According to the 1997-JUN-24 issue of Sun Magazine Pope John XXIII predicted in 1962 that visitors from outer space will arrive in chariots of flaming steel and will share their advanced knowledge with humanity. Our life span will be increased to 150 years or longer. Most diseases will be wiped out.
2000
soon The House of Yahweh A former kibbutz worker named Jacob — now Yisrael — Hawkins started the House of Yahweh, a group that prophesies that the end of the world will arrive very soon if the laws of Yahweh set down in the Bible are not universally obeyed, and the temple in Jerusalem not rebuilt to lie side by side with the Dome of the Rock Mosque. Hawkins has about 3,000 followers who believe he will announce the second coming of Jesus before being murdered by Satan. (Apocalypse Really Soon: ABC news, Jan 5, 1999)
1999 Concerned Christians This group, whose members were ordered deported from Israel, was started by Monte Kim Miller, who used to run an anti-cult network in Denver. People who know the cult say Miller believes he is the last prophet on Earth before Armageddon. Miller, who reportedly believed he talked to God each morning before he went to work, was said to claim that America was Satan and the government evil. Miller has predicted he will die on the streets of Jerusalem in December 1999 but will rise from the dead three days later. (Apocalypse Really Soon: ABC news, Jan 5, 1999)
2000 Sukyo Mahikari A secretive Japanese group said by former members to spread a neo-Nazi, anti-Semitic dogma, it has established itself as a charitable organization in England. A group leaflet says as the year 2000 approaches, “mankind might be annihilated by the baptism of fire.” Similar language turned up in Aum Shinrikyo materials. Aum Shinrikyo was the cult famous for the deadly sarin gas attack in Tokyo. A spokesman for Sukyo Mahikiri has denied the cult is linked to Aum Shinrikyo or that it is anti-Semitic. (Apocalypse Really Soon: ABC news, Jan 5, 1999)
2000 Elohim City In the Cookson Hills of eastern Oklahoma lies the fortress-town of Elohim City, where about 100 heavily armed inhabitants work, pray and conduct paramilitary drills. A former Mennonite preacher named Robert Millar, 73, who envisions a white Christian nation in North America, runs Elohim City in anticipation of an Asiatic invasion of the United States, an attack he considers inevitable. Millar, inspired by fundamentalist Christianity, KKK-style racism and astrology, believes that Christ has been revealing himself for the last two millennia. He also preaches that a series of disasters is about to strike, probably soon after the year 2000, during which time the unworthy and wicked will be cleansed from the Earth. Convicted Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh phoned friends of his in Elohim City before the blast. (Apocalypse Really Soon: ABC news, Jan 5, 1999)
2000 Numerology: If you divide 2000 by 3, you will get the devil’s number 666.66666666666667.
2000 The names of the people and organizations that have called for the return of Christ, at the turn of the century, is too long to be listed here. I would say that if there is day that Christ cannot come back on, it must be Jan 1, 2000. To come at an unknown time means an unknown time. I think Jan 2, 2000 would be a more likely day for Him to call His Church home – right after the big let down.
2000 On May 5, 2000, all the planets are supposed to be in alignment. This will cause the earth to suffer earthquakes, volcanic eruption, and various other nasty stuff. A similar alignment occurred in 1982 and nothing happened. People fail to realize that the other 9 planets only exert a very tiny gravitation pull on the earth. If you were to add up the gravitational force from the rest of the planets, the total would be only amount to fraction of the tug the moon has on the earth.
2000: Michael Drosnin, author of “The Bible Code,” found a hidden message in the Pentateuch (the first five books in the Bible) that predicts that World War III, involving a worldwide atomic [sic] holocaust, will start in 2000 (or perhaps 2006).
2000-2001 Dr. Dale SumburËru looks for March 22, 1997, to be “the date when all the dramatic events leading through the tribulation to the return of Christ should begin” The actual date of Christ’s return could be somewhere between July 2000 and Mar 2001. Dr. SumburËru is more general about the time of the Christ’s second coming than most writers. He states, “The day the Lord returns is currently unknown because He said [Jesus] these days are cut short and it is not yet clear by how much and in what manner they are cut short. If the above assumptions are not correct, my margin of error would be in weeks, or perhaps months.”
2000 Begin of Jesus’ reign from Jerusalem; Lester Sumerall; Book: I Predict 2000 AD; “I predict the absolute fullness of man’s operation on planet Earth by the year 2000 AD. Then Jesus Christ shall reign from Jerusalem for 1000 years.” (99 Reasons Why No One Knows When Christ Will Return, by B J Oropeza, Foreward by Hank Hanegraaff, IVP publishing, 1994)
2000 Rapture; Implied in Hal Lindsay’s revision. 1st said 1948+40=1988; Later Israel did not have land until 1967 War; 1967+40=2007; Rapture seven years earlier.
2000-DEC-25: According to the 1997-JUN-24 issue of Sun Magazine Pope John XXIII predicted in 1962 that Christ would appear in the sky over New York City. He will announce the creation of a 1000-year paradise, to be proceeded by six months of great sorrow.
2000-JAN-1: According to the 1997-JUN-24 issue of Sun Magazine Pope John XXIII predicted in 1961 that Doomsday will begin with the detonation of an atomic bomb in a major European city by a Libyan terrorist group. This will trigger a massive six-month war that will cause the deaths of millions of people.
2000-JAN-1: William Cooper, head of a militia group in St. John’s AZ, predicted that on this date the secret chambers of the Pyramid at Giza will be opened. Its secrets will be revealed and Satan will become a public figure. The American militia will engage in a massive war at this time. This, and the previous prediction, are the only two that we have been able to find which agree on the same day. Of course, it is an obvious date to select, because most people believe that the next millennium begins then. It doesn’t; it starts one year later on 2001-JAN-1.
2000-JAN-11: According to Weekly World News of 1997-NOV-18, the CIA has caught a space alien who had crash-landed on JUN-20 in a New Mexico desert. He is from a species that is considerably more developed, both mentally and spiritually, than mankind. He is only survivor of the destruction of his world – a planet some 200 light years from Earth. He reports that God is “furious with His creations everywhere.” Apparently none of the species that he created turned out at all well. So, god is systematically working his way across the galaxies, setting fires to the planets and exploding them one by one. Earth will be next!
2000-MAY-31: The Great Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn in front of Taurus and the coming back of the Star of Bethlehem like 7.B.C. Some people expect a supernatural event comparable to the birth of Jesus.
2000-SEP-21: Dan Millar, mentioned above, estimates this date as that of the Second Coming of Jesus Christ. Four events happen on that day, a Thursday. The sidereal day is reset. It is also the Jewish New Year, using the Canaanite calendar that was in use within ancient Israel prior to the Babylonian Captivity. It is the time of the Jewish “Feast of Jubilees” according to a message given by the Virgin Mary to Father Stefan Gobbi. This feast occurs only once every fifty years. This date is also the Autumn Equinox.
2001 Jack Van Impe Ministries sponsors the largest Evangelical Christian program devoted to end-time prophecy. In his home page, he discusses his book “On the Edge of Eternity” in which he predicts that the year 2001 will “usher in international chaos such as we’ve never seen in our history.” He predicts that in 2001, and the years following, the world will experience “drought, war, malaria, and hunger afflicting entire populations throughout the [African] continent…By the year 2001, there will be global chaos.” Islam will become much larger than Christianity. (That would take a sudden growth spurt; Islam is currently followed by 19% of the world’s population vs 33% for Christianity). A one-world church will emerge; it will be “controlled by demonic hosts.” Temple rituals (presumably including animal sacrifice) will resume in Israel.
2001 Because there was no year 0, the true millennium will not start until Jan 1, 2001. Most prophetic watchers still have their sights set on 2000. If the date passes uneventful, I’m sure they’ll realize their error and refocus on this year.
2001: Charles Spiegel, a retired psychology professor, preaches from a small town near San Diego CA that the ancient land of Atlantis will emerge from the Caribbean circa 2001 CE. Shortly thereafter, 1000 extra-terrestrials from “Myton” in 33 spaceships will land there and bring new knowledge to humanity.
2001-2012 Beginning of the Millennium, not the end of the world, 1000yrs yet to go. Jack Van Impe; TV show: JVI Presents week of 1-15-1995l; Rather Vague but cites Jewish Catholic and Christians as well as Notradamus
2001-JAN-31: Sun Magazine reported in its 1997-OCT-14 issue that Noah’s Ark has been discovered intact in undamaged form on a slope near Mount Ararat in Turkey. Inside were a group of 6 copper-gold-silver scrolls, each 12″ square. Scroll 2 reveals that the sun will superheat the earth, melting both polar ice caps, and creating a world-wide flood. Scroll 3 reveals that Doomsday is set for 2001-JAN-31. Good people who repent of their sins will be saved; cruel tyrants will be cast into the burning fires of Hell.
2004 This date for Jesus’ return is based upon Psalmology, numerology, the biblical 360 days per year, Jewish holidays, and “Biblical astronomy.” To figure out this date you’ll need a calculator, a slide rule, and plenty of scratch paper.
2004: Arnie Stanton noted on 1997-SEP-16 that that evening was the fourth Jewish festival since 1996-APR-3 on which a lunar eclipse occurred. (7) He quotes Luke 21:25-26 which mentions “signs in the sun, in the moon and in the stars and on the earth distress of nations” He believes that “these recent lunar eclipses are the last known astronomical signs that will preceed a 7 year (360 day/year) countdown to Armageddon/Christ’s return to the Earth.” He expects that Christ’s return will occur within a few months of 2004-SEP-29 when Asteroid Toutatis will make a very close approach to the Earth – perhaps even a collision!
2007  

A False teacher named Shelby Corbett, of Bradenton, Florida has put up benches throughout town advertising the rapture will happen in 2007! She has little Bible knowledge and is tying to make money selling her book.

2007 End of world; Implied in Hal Lindsay’s revision. 1st said 1948+40=1988; Later Israel did not have land until 1967 War; 1967+40=2007; Rapture seven years earlier. Also now says generation from 60-80 yrs. Puts it also at 2040, 2047
2007 Chronological List of Coming End-time Events Falling Within a Ten-year Period and their most likely dates by Marilyn J. Agee

  1. Pre-Trib Rapture of the Church Saints, Bride of Christ, most likely, Pentecost, 1999
  2. Beginning of the Tribulation on Pentecost/Feast of Weeks, Sivan 6, 5761, May 28, 2001
  3. God’s two men, the two witnesses Moses and Elijah, begin their 1,260-day ministry
  4. Satan’s two men, the Beast and False Prophet, come to power and confirm a 7-year peace treaty
  5. The Beast is made head over World Church and World Government
  6. Mid-Tribulation, 3 1/2 years into the seven, Sunday, Cheshvan 23, Nov. 7, 2004
  7. Satan is cast out of Heaven and down to Earth
  8. The Beast has an incapacitating accident
  9. Satan enters into False Prophet
  10. The False Prophet takes over as head of World Church and World Government
  11. The False Prophet desecrates the Temple, kills Moses and Elijah, who are resurrected and ascend to Heaven
  12. 3 1/2 days later
  13. The False Prophet makes war on the saints
  14. The end of this Age Elul 29, 5767, our Sept. 12, 2007
  15. Beginning of the millennial Day of the Lord
  16. Feast of Trumpets, Tishri 1, 5768, our Sept. 13, 2007, the 2,300th day of the Shortened Tribulation, Jesus’ birthday
  17. Coronation of Jesus Christ in Heaven
  18. Marriage of the Lamb in Heaven
  19. Pre-Wrath Rapture of Tribulation Saints, remainder of Body of Christ–saved out of a fiery furnace
  20. Judgment Seat of Christ in Heaven
  21. Saints in Heaven given rewards for belief, unbelievers on Earth given their just rewards
  22. A binary asteroid impacts at noon, and the dead lay around the Earth
  23. The Marriage Supper of the Lamb in Heaven
  24. All Israel born in a day, “that day” (the Remnant who will live on into the Millennium)
  25. Israel buries the dead for seven months to cleanse the land
  26. The return of our Lord Jesus Christ with his saints first day of Jewish Regnal Year, Nisan 1, 5768, our Apr. 6, 2008
  27. Passover kept, Saturday Sabbath, Nisan 14, 5768
  28. End of 7 years and of 2nd 1,260 days, Feast of Unleavened Bread, Easter Sunday, Nisan 15, 5768, our Apr. 20, 2008
  29. Judgment of the Nations, dominion taken from Satan, beginning of Armageddon, Satan’s last-ditch stand, his army against Christ’s forces (Feast of Firstfruits, Monday, Nisan 16, 5768, our Apr. 21, 2008
  30. Armageddon lasts 40 days and 40 nights, ends Friday, Iyar 25, 5768 (our May 30, 2008) anniversary of Christ’s ascension in 30 A.D.
  31. Satan chained on Ascension Day
  32. The Beast and False Prophet cast alive into a “lake of fire furning with brimstone” on Ascension Day
  33. True lasting world peace begins Iyar 26, 5768, our May 31, 2008, 10 yrs. after Rapture I
  34. Afterward, the atmospheric heavens and Earth are refreshed, restored, to make Earth habitable again
2008

April 17

 

Ronald Weinland travelled to Jerusalem on April 17, 2008. He announced that he and his wife were the two witnesses of Revelation.

Weinland’s book: If it doesn’t come to pass…starting in April, then I’m nothing but a false prophet…(Ronald Weinland, 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Church of God)

There’s already been six seals opened up…and the world is ignorant of it…The seventh seal they will know though… (Ronald Weinland, 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Church of God)

The destruction of the United States, we are the first to suffer…I wouldn’t want to be in Chicago, Los Angeles, or New York… (Ronald Weinland, 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Church of God)

By the fall of 2011, that’s when Jesus Christ returns… (Ronald Weinland, 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Church of God) (Ronald Weinland, 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Church of God)

A little after April…a dollar bill won’t be worth anything…We’re going to be brought down the tubes, very quickly, starting in April…What happens when a nuclear weapon goes off in New York and Chicago?… (Ronald Weinland, 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Church of God)

If we come to the point in time where what I’ve said doesn’t come to pass, the reality is that I’m just a false prophet. That’s the bottom line… The reality is if it doesn’t happen, then you’re just false…I’ll acknowledge my error, my wrong, if I’m wrong… (Ronald Weinland, 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Church of God)

By January 2009, we (the United States) will be down the tubes… (Ronald Weinland, 2008 – God’s Final Witness, Church of God)

=============

A deluded follower of “Wacky Weinland” says:

Eager anticipation of just what is going on in terms of bible prophecy etc. Well let me give you an update:

The 1335 days of Daniel 7 started the countdown to the second coming, the sealing of the 144,000 on Feb 2. and Satan’s grip on the scattered brethren began to loosen. The 1260 day is April 17th. This will be the blowing of the first trumpet of the last 7. It will be marked by major events. One is probably a nuclear attack on the U.S. which may occur on that day, a bit before or a bit after – but no later tan April 30, the other is an event to take place in Washington when the present Pope will make a speech. At this time Satan will enter him and be in charge of him from then on. A possibility is that this Pope may die soon. April 17 also marks the day that the 2 witnesses will begin to do their work. On April 19 is the Passover and Ronald Weinland will reveal the identity of the other witness. ……..As well watch for the probable deaths of the leaders of some of the major offshoots of the WCG- like the UCG, LCG and PCG, not to mention the imminent deaths of many celebrities in the fields of entertainment and sports!……..All sounds a bit far-fetched eh! Well time will tell and this month will be over in 30 days. If nothing happens, who knows, I may be looking into your church a bit more deeply. ….

2010 or 2012 “discontinuous event coming — they peg it to the date 2010 or 2012” Scott Mandelker, who claims to have an ET soul; (from CNI News Vol. 3 No. 13, Part 2, an email newsletter)
2011

Friday, May 21, 2011

May 21, 2011: Judgment day?

Harold Camping owns 55 radio stations and advertised on 6000 billboards in the USA. After his first prediction of the end of the world failed in 1994, Camping refused to accept his condemnation as a false prophet and is at it a second time!

 

Now that Campings 2nd prediction for the end of the world has failed, Camping must attend one of our churches to learn the truth of God in the Bible. He must also sell all his worldly assets, including his radio empire and donate the money to the very churches he ridiculed. After all Camping has been telling everyone to leave every church on earth and listen to him alone. Therefore, the money he got to promote his false doctrine actually came from the treasuries of the churches whose members left the church!

 

Reporting live from Jerusalem on May 21, 2011. Our team will be in Jerusalem from May 21 till Pentecost June 8 to report the events as they unfold. We will expose that the problem with Camping and every other date setter, is that they believe the Rapture doctrine, which was invented in 1830 AD by John Darby.

 

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TIMING OF IMPORTANT EVENTS IN HISTORY 11,013 BC—Creation. God created the world and man (Adam and Eve).

4990 BC—The flood of Noah’s day (6023 years from creation). All perished in a worldwide flood. Only Noah, his wife, and his 3 sons and their wives survived in the ark.

7 BC—The year Jesus Christ was born (11,006 years from creation).

33 AD—The year Jesus Christ was crucified and the church age began (11,045 years from creation).

1988 AD—The 13,000th year of earth’s history. This year ended the church age and began the great tribulation period of 23 years (8400 days).

1994 AD—On September 7th, the first 2300-day period of the great tribulation came to an end and the latter rain began (commencing God’s plan to save a great multitude of people outside of the churches).

2011 AD—On May 21st, the rapture will occur at the end of the 8400-day great tribulation. NO ONE will become saved from eternal damnation after Friday, May 21, 2011.

On October 21st, the world will be destroyed by fire.

ONE DAY IS AS 1000 YEARS The child of God has learned from the Bible that the language of Genesis 7 has a twofold meaning: Genesis 7:4 For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.

Historically, as God spoke these words, there were seven days remaining for Noah, his family, and the animals to get into the safety of the ark; but spiritually (and the Bible is a spiritual book), God was speaking to all of the people of the world and was declaring that sinful mankind would have 7000 years to find refuge in the salvation provided by Jesus Christ. How can we know that? We know this is so based on what we read in 2 Peter, chapter 3:

The context of 2 Peter 3 is extremely important! In the first few verses, God refers us to the destruction of the world by the flood during Noah’s day. Then we find an interesting admonition that we ought not to be ignorant of one thing, which is, 1 day is as 1000 years, and 1000 years is as 1 day. Immediately following this bit of information is a very vivid description of the end of the present world by fire.

What could God be telling us by identifying 1 day along with 1000 years?

Since we recently have discovered the Biblical calendar of history on the pages of the Bible, we find that the flood of Noah’s day occurred in the year 4990 BC. This date is completely accurate (for further information on the Biblical timeline of history, please go to: www.familyradio.com). It was in the year 4990 BC that God revealed to Noah that there would be yet 7 days until the flood of waters would be upon the earth. Now, if we substitute 1000 years for each one of those 7 days, we get 7000 years. And when we project 7000 years into the future from 4990 BC, we find that it falls on the year 2011 AD.

4990 + 2011 = 7001

Note: When counting from an Old Testament date to a New Testament date, always subtract one year because there is no year zero, resulting in:

4990 + 2011 – 1 = 7000 years exactly.

The year 2011 AD will be the 7000th year from the flood of Noah’s day. It will be the end of the length of time given to mankind to find grace in God’s sight. This means that the time to find refuge in Christ has grown extremely short. We are only a little ways off from the year 2011 AD!

THE RAPTURE: MAY 21st, 2011

We know that the year 2011 is the 7000th year from the flood. We also know that God will destroy this world in that year. But when in 2011 will this occur?

The answer is amazing. Let’s take another look at the flood account in the book of Genesis:

Genesis 7:11 In the six hundredth year of Noah’s life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.

Faithful to His Word, God did bring the flood 7 days later in the 600th year, on the 17th day of the 2nd month of the calendar aligned with Noah’s lifespan. It was on this 17th day of the 2nd month that God shut the door on the ark, securing the safety of its occupants and also sealing the fate of everyone else in the world outside of the ark. They would all now certainly perish in that worldwide catastrophe.

Earlier it was mentioned that the church age came to an end in the year 1988 AD. It so happens that the church age began on the day of Pentecost (May 22nd) in the year 33 AD. Then 1955 years later, the church age came to its conclusion on May 21st, which was the day before Pentecost in 1988.

On May 21st, 1988, God finished using the churches and congregations of the world. The Spirit of God left all churches and Satan, the man of sin, entered into the churches to rule at that point in time. The Bible teaches us that this awful period of judgment upon the churches would last for 23 years. A full 23 years (8400 days exactly) would be from May 21 st, 1988 until May 21st, 2011. This information was discovered in the Bible completely apart from the information regarding the 7000 years from the flood.

Therefore, we see that the full 23-year tribulation period concludes on May 21st, 2011. This date is the exact day that the great tribulation comes to its end, and this is also the most likely landing spot for the 7000 years from the flood of Noah’s day.

Keep in mind that God shut the door on the ark on the 17th day of the 2nd month of Noah’s calendar. We also find that May 21 st, 2011 is the end of the great tribulation period. There is a strong relationship between the 2nd month and 17th day of Noah’s calendar and May 21st, 2011 of our Gregorian calendar. This relationship cannot be readily seen until we discover that there is another calendar to consider, which is the Hebrew (or Biblical) calendar. May 21 st, 2011 happens to be the 17th day of the 2nd month of the Hebrew calendar. By this, God is confirming to us that we have a very correct understanding regarding the 7000-year timeline from the flood. May 21 st, 2011 is the equivalent date to the date when God shut the door on Noah’s ark. Through this and much other Biblical information, we find that May 21 st, 2011 will be the day when God takes up into heaven His elect people. May 21st, 2011 will be the day God shuts the door of salvation on the world.

In other words, in having the great tribulation period conclude on a day that identifies with the 17th day of the 2nd month of Noah’s calendar, God is without question confirming to us that this is the day He intends to shut forever the door of entry into heaven: The Bible teaches that on May 21st, 2011, only true believers elected by God to receive salvation will be raptured (taken up) out of this world to meet the Lord in the air and forever be with the Lord:

THE END OF THE WORLD: OCTOBER 21st, 2011 By God’s grace and tremendous mercy, He is giving us advanced warning as to what He is about to do. May 21st, 2011 will begin this 5-month period of horrible torment for all the inhabitants of the earth. It will be on May 21st that God will raise up all the dead that have ever died from their graves. Earthquakes will ravage the whole world as the earth will no longer conceal its dead (Isaiah 26:21). People who died as saved individuals will experience the resurrection of their bodies and immediately leave this world to forever be with the Lord. Those who died unsaved will be raised up as well, but only to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of all the earth. Death will be everywhere.

The Feast of Tabernacles / Ingathering was said to be in the end of the year even though it was observed in the Hebrew 7th month, which is not the end of the year. The reason for this is that the spiritual fulfillment of this particular feast is the end of the world. The date October 21st, 2011 will be the last day of the Feast of Tabernacles and the last day of earth’s existence.

On October 21st, 2011, God will completely destroy this creation and all of the people who never experienced the salvation of Jesus Christ along with it. The awful payment for their sinful rebellion against God will be completed by the loss of everlasting life. On October 21st, 2011, all of these poor people will cease to exist from that point forward. How sad that noble man, made in God’s image, will die like a beast and perish forever.

From the book: “We Are Almost There” by Harold Camping and Brian Miller D.S.
Grand Rapids, MI

Reporting live from Jerusalem on May 21, 2011. Our team will be in Jerusalem from May 21 till Pentecost June 8 to report the events as they unfold. We will expose that the problem with Camping and every other date setter, is that they believe the Rapture doctrine, which was invented in 1830 AD by John Darby.

 

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2012 New Age writers cite Mayan and Aztec calendars which predict the end of the age on Dec 21, 2012.
2012: Michael Drosnin, author of “The Bible Code,” found a hidden message in the Pentateuch (the first five books in the Bible) that predicts that a comet will crash into the earth in 2012 and annihilate all life.
2012-DEC-22: The Mayan calendar has many divisions of time: months of 20 days, years of 360 days, katun of 7200 days and a baktun of 144,000 days. Their calendar started on 3114-AUG-13 BCE with the birth of Venus. They expected the world to last for exactly 13 baktun cycles. They anticipated the end of the world near the Winter Solstice of 2012. (3)
2016 An article in Weekly World News describes a find by a Professor Lloyd Cunningdale of Salt Lake City who was excavating with his students at the site of the famous Donner party disaster of 1847. The latter were a group of settlers bound for California who became trapped by snow in the Sierra Nevada Mountains. Cunningdale and students have found a time capsule left by the settlers which contains many predictions for the future. They predict that nations will abandon traditional methods of conflict and resort to the use of biological warfare. In 2016, one such disease will spread and kill all of the humans on the planet. (4)
2034 John Denton. (Bible Research & Investigation Co)

Takes the view that both covenants must be of equal time. (problem with this view is that the first covenant started at Sinai. The promises to Abraham are completely separate from the first covenant. Gal 3 and Heb 8)

Chart 10:4          THE TWO COVENANTS PLUS 37 1/2 YEARS
                    PIVOT EACH SIDE OF THE DATE AD 33/34
Abraham called        End of 1st Covenant                Great Crowd
Out of Babylon       Start of 2nd Covenant             Called out of
to set up 'Seed'               AD 33/34                     Babylon the
Contract                         |                             Great
1968 BC    1931 BC<-Start of     |     Maturity of-->1997       2034
 |  Period  |    Circumcision    |      Kingdom        |  Period  |
 |  called  |      Covenant      |      Covenant       |  Called  |
 |   out    |                    |                     |   out    |
 |<-37 1/2y>|<-- 1,963 years --->|<---1,963 years----->|<-37 1/2y>|
 |__________|____________________|_____________________|__________|
 |          |                    |                     |          |
1968 BC   1931 BC            AD 33/34                1997       2034
 |<--------- 2,000 years ------->|<-------- 2,000 years --------->|
2047-SEP-14: According to The Church of !BLAIR!, the human race will probably be terminated at 3:28 AM (Soho, England time) 2047, SEP. 14!. The church teaches, with tongue firmly in cheek, that if the human race does not discard their plastic conformity, then the Gods will withdraw their protection. The Gods don’t want us to worship them; they don’t want sacrifices or even offerings. They just want us to rid itself of our excessive “Normalcy”. At that point, Astro-Lemurs (extra-terrestrials similar in shape to lemurs, but with rainbow colored bodies) will attack the entire human race and beat them to death with gigantic burritos. You have been warned. 😉
soon Jerry Falwell “In a speech about the concern people have over the new millennium, The Rev. Jerry Falwell said the Antichrist is probably alive today and is a male Jew. Falwell also told about 1,500 people at a conference in Kingsport, Tenn., on Thursday that he believes the second coming of Christ probably will be within 10 years. (Williamsburg, Va., Associated Press, January 15, 1999; Falwell: Antichrist May Be Alive)
soon Order of the Solar Temple Since 1994, more than 74 members of the Order have committed suicide in Canada, Switzerland and France, leaving behind rumors of gunrunning in Australia and money laundering in Canada and Europe. Whether the group is a cold-blooded hoax that milks its victims of their money and then disposes of them or a more “genuine” suicide cult remains unclear. The Order was founded in 1977 by Luc Jouret, then 30, a Belgian born in Zaire who believed he was a third reincarnation of Jesus Christ and that his daughter Emmanuelle, whom he said was immaculately conceived, was the cosmic child. Although he killed himself, the Order still exists. The cult teaches that life is an illusion and after death followers will be reborn on a planet revolving around the dog star Sirius. (Apocalypse Really Soon: ABC news, Jan 5, 1999)
soon Church of the Final Testament Started in the early 1990s by a former Russian police sergeant named Sergei Torop who was dismissed from the force after he had a series of religious visions, the group holds particular fascination for former Communist Party members. Torop, who took the name Vissarion, rejects prohibitions on suicide. He tells his followers he is Jesus Christ, and looks the part with flowing dark hair and wispy beard. Currently building a “City of the Sun” on Siberia’s Mount Sukhaya, the Vissarionites are estimated to be the largest cult-like group in Russia with thousands of followers. Russian politicians have recently warned that the Church members may commit mass suicide as the millennium approaches. (Apocalypse Really Soon: ABC news, Jan 5, 1999)
soon! Outer Dimensional Forces: Founded by the reclusive Orville T. Gordon, 90, the ODF believes that the United States is in for trouble. Gordon, or Nodrog as he is known, explained in an interview that the CIA attacked the ODF 20 years ago, and the group’s heavenly allies will flood the United States very soon, whisking the ODF faithful safely away from their fenced-off Texas compound. (Apocalypse Really Soon: ABC news, Jan 5, 1999)

So there you have it. This is as complete a compendium as you’re going to get for the end times.

Don’t worry, I wouldn’t drag you along this far without giving you some end times to celebrate.


Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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Stuff You Don’t Need to Know

July 31, 2013 by

This is from a Mexican movie that, translated, is called "Vengeance of the Punks." Beyond that I have no idea what is going on.
This is from a Mexican movie that, translated, is called “Vengeance of the Punks.” Beyond that I have no idea what is going on.
Some days the smorgasbord of life just overwhelms me. I’m like a kitten in a room full of empty boxes and little red lights. You can’t chase them all but you want to. But my job is to filter the inane from the insane and present you with something to help you get through the day. So, after careful consideration and due deliberation I decided to punt. Instead of concentrating on a single issue that interests and inspires you, like my work on the 3D Shape Shifting Jesus, I’m just going to throw everything against the wall and hope that something sticks.

For example, on the useful tip, if you want to survive a zombie apocalypse, and who doesn’t really, then you’ll need to know math. Michael Dhar, from Live Science, has everything you’ll need to know.

This equation could spell your doom: (bN)(S/N)Z = bSZ. That is, if you ever found yourself in the midst of a zombie pandemic.

That’s because the calculation describes the rate of zombie transmission, from one walking dead individual to many, according to its creators, Robert J. Smith?, a mathematics professor at the University of Ottawa who spells his name with a “?” at the end, and his students. Smith?’s work has inspired other researchers to create zombie mathematical models, which will be published with Smith’s work in the upcoming book, “Mathematical Modeling of Zombies” (University of Ottawa Press, 2014).

Though of course done tongue-in-cheek, Smith?’s study demonstrates why zombies are the viruses of the monster world. Their likeness to viruses makes the creatures ideal subjects for theoretical epidemiological analyses, which can be used to capture the public’s imagination as well as explore scientific principles, Smith? said.

So, cool, zombie math can help us survive other viral outbreaks. That’s good to know.

Also if not good then, at least, interesting to know is that nature may have provided proof that faster than light travel is doable. Charles Choi, also of Live Science, brings us that Einstein Universe shattering news.

The particles that make up light, photons, may live for at least 1 quintillion (1 billion multiplied by 1 billion) years, new research suggests.

If photons can die, they could give off particles that travel faster than light.

Many particles in nature decay over time. For instance, radioactive atoms are unstable, eventually breaking down into smaller particles and giving off energy as they do so.

Scientists generally assume photons do not break down, since they are thought to lack any mass with which to decay. However, while all measurements of photons currently suggest they have no mass, they might instead potentially have masses too small for current instruments to measure.

Last year I reported that scientists had come up with a mathematical construct that allowed for faster than light travel. It basically aped Gene Roddenberry’s, oft lampooned, warp drive. who knew old Gene was that visionary?

Speaking of visionary, I would be woefully remiss if I did not share the story written by Ramit Plushnick-Masti about the house made from beer cans.

A child of the Great Depression, John Milkovisch didn’t throw anything away — not even the empty cans of beer he enjoyed each afternoon with his wife.

So, in the early 1970s when aluminum siding on houses was all the rage, he lugged down the cans he had stored in his attic for years, painstakingly cut open and flattened each one and began to wallpaper his home.

“The funny thing is that it wasn’t … to attract attention,” said Ruben Guevara, head of restoration and preservation of the Beer Can House in Houston’s Memorial Park area. “He said himself that if there was a house similar to this a block away, he wouldn’t take the time to go look at it. He had no idea what was the fascination about what he was doing.”

Milkovisch passed away in the mid-1980s, but his wife, Mary, still lived there. Her sons would do work from time to time, replacing rusty steel cans with new ones and restoring a hurricane-destroyed beer wall. And when they feared for her safety because of the gawkers, they put up a privacy fence, embedding beer cans in that as well.

The neighborhood has rapidly transformed since Mary Milkovisch’s death in the mid-1990s, going from a working middle-class area to today’s condo- and loft-lined upper-class sector. But the home remains a well-known entity.

Determined to preserve this accidental piece of folk art, local nonprofit Orange Show Center for Visionary Art bought the property about 10 years ago, began a careful restoration of the house and opened it to the public.

“It shows the human nature of the individual is supreme. You can take the simplest thing, and it can actually affect a lot of other people,” said Houston resident Patrick Louque, who lived in the area when it was John Milkovisch’s pet project. “It’s totally grabbed me, and it’s probably totally grabbed the imagination of more people than I could possibly imagine.”

I can see that. Razor sharp edges and beer make for some fun times.

Nevertheless, since we are discussing frugality, let us turn out eyes to America’s second most glaring example of frugality at the expense of its employees, Mickey-D’s. Caroline Fairchild, of Huff Biz, writes about how University of Kansas undergrad, Arnobio Morelix, figured out that McDonald’s could double everyone’s salaries and barely need to raise prices.

McDonald’s can afford to pay its workers a living wage without sacrificing any of its low menu prices, according to a new study provided to The Huffington Post by a University of Kansas student.

Doubling the salaries and benefits of all McDonald’s employees — from workers earning the federal minimum wage of $7.25 per hour to CEO Donald Thompson, whose 2012 compensation totaled $8.75 million — would cause the price of a Big Mac to increase just 68 cents, from $3.99 to $4.67, Arnobio Morelix told HuffPost. In addition, every item on the Dollar Menu would go up by 17 cents.

Morelix’s research comes as fast-food workers across the country strike for a $15 per hour minimum wage. Workers are also protesting for the right to unionize without fear of retaliation. Protesters are holding strikes in seven cities over a four-day period, according to Salon.

Morelix looked at McDonald’s 2012 annual report and discovered that only 17.1 percent of the fast-food giant’s revenue goes toward salaries and benefits. In other words, for every dollar McDonald’s earns, a little more than 17 cents goes toward the income and benefits of its more than 500,000 U.S. employees.

Thus, if McDonald’s executives wanted to double the salaries of all of its employees and keep profits and other expenses the same, it would need to increase prices by just 17 cents per dollar, according to Morelix.

McDonald’s declined a request to comment from The Huffington Post.

Read that again. They can double the CEO’s salary to $17,000,000 a year at a minimal impact to consumers. If they kept their upper management salaries the same and just doubled the in-store workers, the cost to consumers would drop to almost nil. since the company is already under fire for its clueless look at what it takes to live in the real world (Hey! Just work 80 hours a week!), now might be a good time for them to reassess their positions.

Speaking of reassessing a position, I may have to rethink how much credit to give to terrorists. Often portrayed as wily geniuses who plot our destruction I am beginning to think they are more akin to your goofy Aunt Gladys with the tinfoil hat. Jane Sutton reports that the most popular book for imprisoned terrorists is 50 Shades of Gray.

The “Fifty Shades of Grey” series of erotic novels are the favorite reading material among “high-value” prisoners at the Guantanamo detention camp in Cuba, a U.S. congressman said.
Representative Jim Moran of Virginia was among congressional delegates who last week toured Camp 7, the top-security facility that holds more than a dozen “high-value” prisoners, including five men charged with plotting the September 11 attacks on the United States in 2001.
“Rather than the Koran, the book that is requested most by the (Camp 7 detainees) is ‘Fifty Shades of Grey.’ They’ve read the entire series,” Moran said in an account first published by the

“I guess there’s not much going on, these guys are going nowhere, so what the hell.”

The guard tower stands at the entrance to detention facilities at the U.S. Naval Station in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, in 2012.

Moran, who favors shutting down the detention camp on the Guantanamo Bay U.S. Naval Base, said he learned about the book’s popularity while touring Camp 7 with the base commander and deputy base commander, the head medical official and the officer in charge of that camp.

Ahem. There are a bunch of guys wearing robes reading this;

“Show me how you pleasure yourself … Keep still … We’re going to have to work on keeping you still, baby … Let’s see if we can make you come like this … You’re so deliciously wet. God, I want you … I’m going to fuck you now, Miss Steele … Hard … Come for me, Ana.”

No. You will never unsee that.

Anyway, nothing can take your mind of bad porn like good ice cream. At least that’s what I’ve been told. However, as Jonathan Stempel writes, you really shouldn’t mix the two.

A southern California pornography studio has reached an agreement with Ben & Jerry’s not to release DVDs and other X-rated products whose names pay homage to the company’s ice cream flavors.

The agreement made public on Tuesday resolves a trademark infringement lawsuit that Ben & Jerry’s filed last September against Caballero Video, also known as Rodax Distributors Inc.

It calls for Caballero to stop selling a variety of products including its “Ben & Cherry’s” film series, which included 10 titles such as “Boston Cream Thighs,” “Chocolate Fudge Babes” and “Peanut Butter D-Cups.”

Ben & Jerry’s had claimed that such titles were too similar to its ice cream flavors such as Boston Cream Pie, Chocolate Fudge Brownie and Peanut Butter Cup.

The agreement also covers labels, packaging and advertising that mimicked Ben & Jerry’s own. Caballero’s packaging featured puffy white clouds and grazing cows, and the slogan “Porno’s Finest.” Ben & Jerry’s uses the slogan “Vermont’s Finest.”

Ice cream porn or I SCREAM porn?

Yeah, that was low rent of me.

So there you have it. News you desperately needed to read all courtesy of the, self proclaimed, Segue King.

Rebecca Tun: Beautiful nightmare (NSFW) from Rollin' Rockstar on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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