Search Results for: christmas

Wait your turn in line Christmas!

November 17, 2010 by

November has always been one my favorite months my whole life. It has my birthday, football and of course Thanksgiving. Ahhhhh, Thanksgiving, a stress-free holiday where the focus is on food, family and reflecting on being grateful for what we all have.

But in the past 5 years or so, I feel like I start my month off still coming down from that same Halloween high only to be surrounded by…Christmas decorations? This is really starting to mess with my whole reality of order (and when you’re even mildly OCD, you really can’t do that). And frankly, it’s starting to really annoy me. This is not to say I’m a grinch; I *love* the Christmas holiday! The decorations, the music; the entire holiday spirit that surrounds everyone is so wonderful…in *December*. But starting all of this too early is just bullying Thanksgiving right out of it’s own month. It’s like being a kid and your Mom puts dessert out on the table before you finish your dinner; you could be having a dream kid dinner of hamburgers and french fries, but you don’t know, you don’t even taste what you’re eating because you’re too busy throwing it down your stomach while you’re eyeing that chocolate cake that’s in front on you.

It’s barely mid-November and because the stores are all decked out in decorations and playing music, I’m already stressing out about what to get everyone on my Christmas list…which is exactly what the marketing folks want me to do. But we don’t have to let these mind games get the best of us, we’re adults and we can choose to remember to just enjoy what we have while we have it, and *then* move on to the next fun thing. If anything, I think the marketers should extend the holidays…leave November alone and instead keep things going through January; that’s a pretty blah month, it’d be nice to still to listen to music that’s trying to trick us into thinking it’s great to “let it snow, let it snow, let it snow”…just cut things off in February, because that’s Cupid’s territory.

Check out our photo gallery where we recreate the first Thanksgiving dinner!

The Return of Jesus Bunny Super Dude!

April 13, 2022 by Bill McCormick

About a decade ago I did a deep dive into why we have eggs and bunnies as symbols for the resurrection of Jesus. At its face it seems insane. Also, just FYI, no matter which gospel you read, Jesus was coherent upon his resurrection so there’s no substance to the zombie Jesus rumors that pop up this time of year. Oddly, in the grand scheme of things, “zombie Jesus” is the least problematic. After all, despite the trappings we all know, not a single gospel mentions Jesus’ ability to poop eggs or anything like that. Still, a quick look at the Internet or any TV station tells you that bunnies, baskets, and eggs are all the rage. There’s not a single ad for a large stone “You too can roll away!!!” or do-it-yourself stigmata kits for the kids. In other words, something happened to get us from there to here. Now, was that something wildly subversive? Pure evil complete with the obligatory maniacal laugh? Or was it just the way things worked out? Read on and find out.

I Believe in Santa

December 14, 2021 by Bill McCormick

It always amazes me how two unrelated things can suddenly become one joyful thing. I doubt anyone ever said, “Hey! I have a great idea! Let’s add nuclear warheads to Santa’s arsenal!” And, yet, on December 24, 1955, that’s pretty much what happened. A Denver department store put an ad in the local paper offering kids the chance to talk directly to Santa on Christmas Eve. Although much is lost to the mists of time one must assume they had hired, or cajoled, someone to play Santa. As it turned out that dude was in for a lonely night. You see, the company had put the wrong number in the ad. Instead of getting the North Pole kids got the Continental Air Defense Command (CONAD) Operations Center in Colorado Springs, Colo.  [Read more…] about I Believe in Santa

Holiday Hum Along

December 16, 2019 by Bill McCormick

First off, so you can decide whether you should stay here or not, Santa’s Husband is a real book, written by a dude from Oak Park, who also happens to be an internationally famous comedy writer. But I think it’s cool he’s from Oak Park. Anyway, I like the book, the whole idea, and think it’s a perfect holiday gift. Keep reading if you wish, I just want you to know what you’re in for. Okay, here we go. A long time ago, in a galaxy right around here, I popped up a list of Eleven Christmas Films you had to see before you die, or killed the next mutha who turned on freaking Rudolph one more time (a film with terrible messages for humans), or another pretentious choir bellowing the classics as though their souls depended on being the loudest. Trust me, if my girlfriend had more bail money, my holidays would be much different. In other words, I feel your pain. [Read more…]

Bad Human!

December 5, 2019 by Bill McCormick

It’s that time of year again, when people give stuff to other people and expect other stuff in return. Why they just don’t give themselves stuff and be done with it baffles me, but here we are. Then again, Christmas was banned in many countries for over a century because it was so violent. So maybe giving people stuff instead of starting riots is a step in the right direction. Add in the fact that many people will just get drunk, and watch some of the greatest, brain bending, holiday films ever made, and you have a recipe for depression. So, obviously, the best thing you can do is give them something that will make them happy. And nothing’s happier than a ball of fur or scales wrapped in love. [Read more…] about Bad Human!