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Stuff You Want to See
There are a ton of superhero movies headed your way. They’re also headed my way. Which makes me all tingly. A well made superhero flick is a great way to escape for a couple of hours. And they provide inspiration to our youth. Superman is the Christ-like figure we should all aspire to. Except when he’s not. Yeah, that link will ruin your childhood. Batman doesn’t kill. Except when he does, as he did in his very first story. But, in many ways, it’s those flaws and mishaps that keep the characters interesting. They point out, often brutally, that anyone can fail. That doesn’t make the ideals any less laudable. Since the 90’s Hollyweird has finally started figuring that out. Not with the Fantastic Four, sadly, but in general they’ve done a pretty good job.
Super Cool Groovy Stuff
A couple, Ant-Man & Fantastic Four, are already out. So let’s take a quick look at them. Ant-Man is a fun introduction to the character whom they can now use in multiple, Avengers related, movies. His fight with the Falcon is a thing of comic book joy as each has very different skills and each uses them to their advantage. The bad guy is really bad, the good guys are just bad enough to be interesting and there’s a token love interest that won’t make you squeamish. I’d give it two and a half out of four stars and admit I enjoyed it. As to Fantastic Four, let’s just say it’s a clinic on how to fuck up an easy movie. Things appear, become important, and then are never seen again. Reed Richards, the stretchy Mr. Fantastic, turns out to have the cool ability to change his facial features. He does this once and no more and it’s never explained how he learned to do it anyway. Dr. Doom attacks earth and no one knows why. For the most part he seemed to like everyone. The biggest sign you’re in trouble? Halfway through the film a lobby card pops up, just like in the old silent movies, that says One Year Later. This is a mess of a movie. I’d give it negative stars if I could.
Ah hell, I will; -3.5.
In fact, click here and just go watch the animated porn version of Fantastic Four. It’s got better plot and character development than this train wreck. Also better effects, if you know what I mean.
Moving on. In TV-Land the company that brought you Arrow and The Flash is now bringing you Supergirl and The Legends of Tomorrow. I’ve written about both extensively so I won’t rehash things here. Both look promising and the casts of both have been having fun with fans. Always a good sign.
In other TV news, the wonderful world of Daredevil will be adding the Punisher this season and a/k/a Jessica Jones will be introducing Luke Cage (Hero for Hire). All of these Netflix releases will be leading up to a team that features all of the principals. But not until each of them has, at least, two seasons under their belts as solo acts. People who’ve seen footage all say that if you liked Daredevil Season One you’re going to love what they’re up to now.
In other news the nice people making Deadpool (NSFW) released an R-rated trailer for the upcoming R-rated film that will explore light hearted topics such as terminal cancer, prostitution and contract killing. You know, just like the stories mom told you as a kid. If you know what Deadpool is all about then you’re pretty stoked right now. If not, click the link, make sure no one is around, and learn. Unless you’re easily offended. Then don’t do that. Don’t even think about it. It’s got Stan Lee as an M.C. in a strip club for Christ’s sake. It will ruin your childhood.
Speaking of ruining chilhoods, The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies is coming to DVD, etc., next month and has been rated R. Why? I do not know. Is there some bizarre sex scene that Peter Jackson insists on …. ahem … inserting? Was the hyper-realistic violence not hyper-realistic enough? All of the above? Oh well, if you really need to know they are also releasing the extended versions of all three films in 500 theaters nationwide. The total running time, should you wish to see all the Hobbit films back to back to back, is just under ten hours. That’s a lot of time to dedicate to a seventy page book.
In other R rated news that won’t ruin your childhood, Suicide Squad has finally wrapped up shooting. This may get cut down to a PG-13 film since it has the kid friendly Will Smith in it. Even if it does there’s a lot of room in a PG-13 film to give folks nightmares. In the cartoon version of Suicide Squad’s origin, Batman: Assault on Arkham, there’s sex and extreme violence. Harley’s a horn-dog and Deadshot is a willing, if reluctant, partner. Yes, that link will take you to the full movie. Obviously this film won’t go that far. But it will be interesting to see how far they do go.
Speaking of nightmares, imagine these two having a kid.
I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.
Since both movies were shooting at the same time in Toronto the casts from Deadpool and Suicide Squad spent as much time as they could interacting with each other and with their fans. Given the insanely tight security surrounding most films these days this was kind of refreshing. Of course Deadpool and Suicide Squad owe their existence to fans so this makes sense.
One film that is not being all that fan friendly, Batman -vs- Superman: Dawn of Justice (what is with all the colons lately?), accidentally released their entire plot synopsis online. Yes, you can click the link to read it if you want. If you’re one of the three people on the planet who hasn’t seen the trailer just click here to catch up. With a plot involving Batman, Superman, Lex Luthor, Doomsday, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and a brief appearance by The Flash, this movie looks, superficially, to be a hot mess. But, from all accounts, it appears to be shaping up fine. It’s why Warner signed Ben Afflek to do three more Batman films, plus another Justice League and rushed him to Toronto to be in Suicide Squad. Originally he was just mentioned in the script.
One insider told me that the rough cut, minus a ton of effects, music, etc., recently shown to Warner Execs was “fucking astonishing.” That’s a much better review than I was able to get from anyone on Fantastic Four. The best I got there was “well, they paid for the sequel.”
Besides all the cool Netflix shows, Marvel is also gearing up for Captain America: Civil War. More colons. Anyway, as it stands right now, this will be the film they use to introduce Spiderman back into the Marvel cinematic universe. It will also not feature the Hulk. I’m not sure what they’re planning for that character but a cameo in a battle movie isn’t it. Nor is the Planet Hulk story line. Which makes me happy since I think that story was horribly overrated. But you can always click the link to check it out for yourself.
Shooting started a while back on X-Men Apocalypse but Marvel hasn’t released anything yet. They did show a brief trailer at Comicon but it was a little rough so we’ll just wait for something better. Don’t get me wrong, it looked cool, it was just rough.
The nice thing about catching up this way is that I was finally able to get all the links to everything all in one blog. Truly your one stop shopping destination.
And, just to ruin your good mood, keep in mind that Fox has every intention of releasing Fantastic Four II. Whether you want them to or not.
Superhero Boudoir – Promo for Home By Midnight / Boggio Studios from FX Media on Vimeo.
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Gotch Your Geek-a-Goin’?
Okay, so what did we learn this weekend. First, Berkeley Breathed, is bringing back his beloved, and Pulitzer prize winning, comic; Bloom County. It’s been twenty-five years since the last strip was printed. In other comic news, the underground sensation Nebezial has been garnering some mainstream recognition for his work. More naughty than nasty he manages to skewer some common comic tropes. Also, if you’ve ever wondered what Superman’s penis would have to really be like, click the link. You’ll laugh.
In the happy land of television NBC has taken the unusual step of rebooting a critically acclaimed series that went off the rails in its final two seasons. Heroes Reborn picks up a few years after where Heroes left off. It’s darker and weirder than the original, if that’s possible, and it looks awesome. If they follow the path laid out for season one they should be around for quite some time. In CW-Land Stephen Amell opened the Arrow’s section of the conference by showing up in his new costume and using the opportunity to announce he would now be known as The Green Arrow. For those just tuning in he’s gone from The Hood to The Arrow to this. His speech, accessible via the link, is a rallying cry for warriors (a/k/a viewers). It’s pretty cool. And Arrow, like the biblical patriarch Abraham, has been doing a lot of begetting. First there was The Flash which managed to be a critical and ratings success. Now it’s begotten Legends of Tomorrow, which features the strangest ensemble cast outside of Carol Burnett Meets KISS! The next mutant spawn of Arrow is a truly mutant idea. CW is releasing a cartoon featuring Vixen that will be voiced by the actors in all of their live action shows. This is kind of cool because, if it works, they can do the online cartoon treatment with numerous characters and, if they work, ease them into the live action world.
Moving on to movies let’s start with the aforementioned Suicide Squad. Warner previewed a trailer for the film. They will not be releasing it publicly for a host of reasons. They just finished shooting a couple of weeks ago and the visual effects are incomplete, the rights to the music are in limbo and so on. Let them actually sort through what they have and they’ll get something out to the public. In the meantime the leaked trailer can be viewed via the link.
EDIT: After a couple of minor tweaks the trailer for Suicide Squad has been released. And it is fucking awe —– some!
X-Men: Apocalypse also used Comic-Con to debut a trailer just for the attendees and, as you may have guessed, it got leaked. Just seeing Storm with a Mohawk makes it all worthwhile. Clearly they are embracing all of the pseudo-religion inherent in the comics. Another leaked trailer was the one for Deadpool. In this case they aren’t having lawyers yank it down or anything they’re just letting people know that a real trailer, with complete visual effects and the correct music and voice overs, will be released in three weeks. After that all they’re saying is “thanks for your support.”
Marvel’s Antman, however, leaked nothing. The film opened to generally solid reviews, has already started to gather repeat business and has the silliest fifteen second TV spot you’ll see for a while. Another film that didn’t spring a leak was Fox’ Fantastic Four. Josh Trank, the director, says that this film is more like a prequel than an origin story. While that sounds risky Fox was happy enough with the whole thing to pay for a second movie before they finished shooting the first. Not to be outdone Disney has booked three main films and, thus far, two attenuate ones, to flesh out the Star Wars universe. If you click on the Star Wars link you’ll be taken on a behind the scenes tour of the current film. It’s pretty cool stuff.
Now let’s head to the land of the truly weird. There are three Star Trek movies currently in various stages of completion. There is Star Trek Beyond which features all your buddies from the reboot. This will be a blockbuster and, if the script synopsis I was allowed to read is accurate, true to the concept of exploration over destruction. That could be very worthwhile. Then there is Star Trek Renegade which has a plot line so thinly obvious as to be insulting (hey look! Bad guys doing good!) and features cast members from the original Star Trek as well as from Star Trek Voyager. I don’t like to be critical but it looks like a poorly made fan film. And since the big debut will be at the Crest Theater (1262 Westwood Blvd, LA, CA 90024) on Saturday August 1, 2015 at 4:30 pm, an event so epic it’s not even on the theater’s calendar. This is a theater that hosts films dedicated to a Beatles record. The bar is pretty low already. You have to think that everyone even remotely involved with the Trek franchise took a pass as well. It isn’t helped by the whiny and pretentious music video attached to it either. But the last film, Axanar, looks incredible. It is set twenty one years before the first episode ever helmed by Captain James T. Kirk and follows both the creation of the Federation as well as the development of the technology and the reasons behind it all. There is a twenty minute prequel at the link that lays the foundation for the movie. It is definitely worth your time if you’re into Trek at all. Hell, even if you aren’t.
We’ve already covered Batman -vs- Superman and the release of Supergirl here previously so I won’t belabor them again. I will note that I finally got to see the Supergirl pilot episode with my nieces and their friends. Yeah, me and 11 teenage girls. Whee. Anyway, they had all the right emotions at all the right spots and they loved the show.
So bust out your wallets and be prepared to spend lots and lots of your hard earned money. Or not. It’s up to you.
MONDO SUPERHERO (PART 5/5): X-CUTIONER'S SONG from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.
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Superheropalooza (For Stacy)
Moving on.
Let’s start with Avengers: Age of Ultron. As of this writing there are fifteen different trailers out. There may be more by the time you’re done reading this. Do you need a stand alone clip of Hawkeye & Quicksilver? Here you go. Or War Machine? Or a photographic essay of the characters in costume? Gotcha covered. How about a trilogy of trailers that feature Ultron? We’ve got that too. Or maybe you’re wondering what happened to the naked black woman in the first trailer. It was a dream sequence and it didn’t make the final cut. I have no idea why they’re releasing so much material this close to the film’s opening. It isn’t like anyone was going to ignore it.
Another eagerly anticipated film, Batman -vs- Superman: Dawn of Justice, just had its trailer leaked. Click here to watch it with Spanish subtitles. It has my favorite tag line so far; “Tell me, do you bleed? You will.” Yes, that’s Batman talking to Superman. The imagery is interesting. It shows Superman being worshiped as a god and then things clearly go south on him. It doesn’t show any of the other characters but you get the vibe that all is not happy in Metropolis or Gotham. Of course Supes was probably responsible for the death of a couple million people in his last fight so you can see why there might be some tension. Also, just for laughs, it appears that this film will have a Robin and a dead Robin. Specifically Jena Malone will play the character of Carrie Kelly, the Robin from the Dark Knight Returns comic book & cartoon. The dead Robin is rumored to be Jason Todd, a Robin who was killed by the Joker but came back as The Red Hood. Who’s playing him is still unclear.
In a related Justice League note, Warner dumped the director of the Wonder Woman movie before a frame was shot. Michelle McLarin, the old director, wanted to give Wonder Woman a tiger sidekick. Cool if she’s He Man or something. Not so hot otherwise. The new director is Patty Jenkins. That’s an inspired choice if you ask me. The new movie looks as though it will use the DC 52 version of the character which will give her all sorts of fun family problems. Even without a tiger.
In other Justice League news, Gods and Monsters, a cartoon re-imagining of the Justice League mythos, is coming out soon.
“Journey to a divergent reality where the Justice League protects the planet — but answers to no one but themselves. Employing methods of intimidation and fear, this Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman deal brute force in the name of justice. In this alternate universe, Superman was not raised by the Kents in Smallville, the Caped Crusader is not Bruce Wayne, and Wonder Woman is not an Amazon warrior of Themyscira. When a group of famed scientists experience untimely “accidents,” a government task force follows the trail of clues to the Justice League — but is there a more powerful player operating from the shadows? It’s a high stakes game of intrigue, mystery and action that asks the question: How do you serve justice to those above the law?”
The trailer looks pretty cool.
Another film that has fans drooling on their keyboards is Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Somehow they managed to release their trailer before it got leaked. They also were able to control the release of images and models that will be in the film. Good news for fans is that it appears as though J.J. Abrams is just going to pretend the prequels never happened. Thank God for that. The plot of this movie starts thirty years after Return of the Jedi and brings back familiar faces and introduces new ones. Also, they’re going as light on the CGI as they can. That little round robot from the first trailer is called BB-8 and he’s a remote controlled puppet. If you click the previous link you can watch video of him beeping trash at R2-D2.
In other space news CBS is looking to have a new Star Trek series out next year in time for the fiftieth anniversary of the original.
Some movie snippets to keep you frothing; Lynda Carter may appear in the new Wonder Woman movie. As it sits now she would be Wonder Woman’s mom. Olivia Munn will be portraying Psylocke in the new X-Men: Apocalypse movie. As a devoted cosplayer herself you can expect there to be lots of revealing spandex in her costume. There will be, yet another, Michael Myers vs Jason Vorhees movie coming out next year. In the same movie it’s been confirmed that Ben Hardy will portray Archangel and double up as one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse. Deadpool, currently filming in Canada, is eschewing the whole secrecy approach to film-making and is, instead, inviting fans to come out and watch them shoot. Given the fact that fans are the whole reason this thing’s getting made in the first place I think that’s a cool idea.
Also coming out is a film called Ex Machina which concerns the nature of sentience. It’s a theme that’s been done to death but this one seems to promise sex and booze. Might be worth a gander. Jurassic Park will be hitting theaters on June 12th and they’ve taken time out of their busy day to release a thirty second trailer. That’s rarely a good sign. Another film that’s in production, The Leviathan, has a three minute proof of concept trailer online and it’s freaking awesome. I never once thought of death dealing space whales but I’m glad someone did.
I’ll take a look at the TV universes tomorrow.
WHAM! BAM! THANK YOU SPACEMAN! (William A. Levey, 1975) (NSFW) from Spectacle Theater on Vimeo.
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