Stories to Make You Feel Better About Being You

This year, Floridians learned that burials at sea don’t work if the body doesn’t sink, giant snail mucus can make you sick and that an underwire bra can stop a lawyer from visiting her client in prison. Florida lived up to its reputation for being an odd state in 2010, with residents committing stupid crimes, making poor decisions and exhibiting general weirdness. Proving, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Disney World’s not the only place there that’s got freaky residents.

Family Values?

If you have children I’m sure that – at least once or twice – you’ve asked yourself “If I could sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7, what do you think would be a fair price for her?” Well, now, you don’t have to ask anymore.

NUDE-A-PALOOZA!

So, you’re sitting around your dingy little hovel wondering what to do with your sad, pathetic, life this weekend, hoping beyond hope that someone will come to your rescue and give you a reason to draw another breath. You’re in luck. This Saturday, at Cypress Cove in Florida, they’re holding their third annual NUDE-A-PALOOZA! While I’m sorry to inform you that there are no Hippos involved, except for a possible appearance by

Laura Lodewyck in the WNC newsroom

Chicago’s Only News Source

Nude Hippo’s “World News Center” Launch Brings Facts, Joy, Global Domination! In what is possibly the most astounding revelation since last week — or at least since that poor guy in Florida unwittingly purchased an actual human skeleton as a Halloween decoration — Nude Hippo “ringmaster” Tony Lossano has unleashed World News Center upon the unsuspecting population of earth with a new website. The website launch precedes its celebrated return to TV, both reportedly part of a master plan of global domination. “I don’t want to scare anyone,” Hippo’s Ashley…