Florida!

If you truly feel the need to enjoy a little schadenfreude, then this is the perfect blog for you.

All Florida, All The Time

Clearly all that sunshine and salt water has damaged the brains of everyone living in Florida. Today we look at the naked man who attacked a robot with an assault rifle and the guy who used a samurai sword to attack a tattoo parlor. The hookers and politicians are just a bonus.

Of course it started in Florida.

Every man has dated a woman who would eventually end up middle aged, naked, and ripping her teeth out with a pliers while throwing rocks at passers by. I’m not so sure about the octogenarian who wore a Halloween costume to rob his employer. But I do think these two should get together.

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Bad Human!

It’s that time of year again, when people give stuff to other people and expect other stuff in return. Why they just don’t give themselves stuff and be done with it baffles me, but here we are. Then again, Christmas was banned in many countries for over a century because it was so violent. So maybe giving people stuff instead of starting riots is a step in the right direction. Add in the fact that many people will just get drunk, and watch some of the greatest, brain bending, holiday…

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Controversy

The things that set people off into ALL CAPS rages continues to amaze me. From pumpkin spice anything to the colors of the new line of Hyundai’s. Now, if they made pumpkin spiced Hyundai’s then I could understand. Nah, I still wouldn’t care. Even so, high dudgeon appears to be attainable via the slightest provocation. And never is that more true than in the world of superheroes. What? You thought I was going to dive into politics? Sorry buddy, I gave up low hanging fruit when I dumped all my…

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The Joys of Extinction

Back on January 10, 2013, I wrote a whimsical missive about how Floridians may be the stupidest, and most dangerous, morons on Earth. Not much has changed since then. Back then they authorized regular citizens to wander the Everglades and hunt pythons with handguns. For those who don’t party with giant constrictors, pythons can get to twenty feet long, a couple hundred pounds, and can kill and eat a four or five year old child without effort. Hunting them with handguns is akin to hunting rogue elephants with a slingshot.…

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Just a Walk in the Park

Once upon a time being paralyzed was a slow, painful, death sentence. In some cultures (HI KLINGONS!) killing such a person was deemed merciful. As recently as ten years ago all science could do was make life a little more bearable for the inflicted. Comfortable beds and wheelchairs seemed to be as far as science could go. But then things started changing. On April 13th, of this year, I updated several earlier posts about how science was dealing with paralysis. In Australia, they’d come up with a spinal implant that…