Girl Power!

Diana is the daughter of Queen Hippolyta, the first child born on Paradise Island in the three thousand year history that the immortal Amazons lived there. The Amazons had been created around 1200 B.C. when the Greek goddesses drew forth the souls of all women who had been murdered by men. One soul was left behind, the one that would be born as Diana. That soul originally belonged to the unborn daughter of the first woman murdered by a man (whom Hippolyta was the reincarnation of). In the late 20th…

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Triskaidekaphobia Revisited

I am going to celebrate the birthday of a dude who wasn’t born now or anywhere near now. In other words, I am off to celebrate a superstition. That is appropriate on many levels. Today is Friday the 13th. A horror that has haunted humans for millenia. Well, numerous centuries. Okay, for a little bit. I wrote this on Friday the 13th in April of 2012. It’s still true today. +++++++++++++++++++ If you happen to be a prestidigitating paraskevidekatriaphobic then today is wrought with horrible magic for you. For the…

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Planning is Key

There are times when you have to shield your eyes because the stupid shines so bright. Today I was going to write about naked criminals in Florida. The state appears to be festooned with them. But then I received an email, which I will quote without naming the author, that changed my whole day. It said, “How come you don’t write about the AG asteroid (AG means Alien Grown) that the aliens have aimed at us? Are you one of their lackeys?” Now, to be fair, seeing “lackey” used in…

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The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

Did you see the Oscars last night? Me neither. Having a complete stranger tell me how much they love me, when they really just love the $10 I paid for the damn ticket, is not as heartwarming as these professional sociopaths seem to think. Add in the fact that they expect me to make a time commitment that lasts longer than most dates, and that includes the sex, and you can see why I might find something else to do with my time. I rearranged my sock drawer and cheered…

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Fast Food, Slow Brains

Why don’t red states have to worry about a zombie apocalypse? Because zombies need brains to survive. Back on May 9th, 2012, North Carolina passed a GREAT law called “Amendment 1.” It effectively makes any relationship, other than heterosexual marriage, and only marriage, illegal. 61% of the mouth breathers that call NC home voted in favor of this law. As of now the law has had no effect on anything. It hasn’t been challenged since it hasn’t been enforced.

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I Am Here to Eat Your Young

No, I’m not, it just seems that way to people when they meet me for the first time. Nude Hippo’s glorious web site is going through some changes. While they’re prepping for their 15th anniversary, yes there will be dancing girls and booze, they needed to take down the site. So as a temporary fix, since people actually seem to want to read the crap I write, they set me up with a new office in the back, very close to the bathroom (how convenient!) and gave me a smaller…

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