Search Results for: naked

People who’ve met me know that I’m a big fan of naked women. If I had my way every office would be festooned with them. Heck, as far as I’m concerned, there should be random naked women in bars just because. But, until recently, I was pretty sure I didn’t rule the world. But now I’m not so sure. There are a growing number of states looking to follow New York’s fine example and allow women the right to be just as topless as men in public. While it may not always be a good thing, it’s not always a bad thing either. For the ladies reading here today who want to know if they can go around town as God intended, just click here for a fun map of current laws. But, let’s be honest, my horn dog pandering for nekkid flesh can be seen by some as, at best, objectifying women. Yet, for many women, the act of being nude in public is somehow freeing. Never have these conflicting ideas been more apparent than in Robin Thick’s Blurred Lines video. 1/2 the viewers found it to be fun and cute. The other 1/2 thought it was porn. There doesn’t seem to be a middle ground there. Me? I thought it was okay, I just still don’t understand the farm animal and banjo references.

Now, getting naked in public can have its uses. If your company sells nude calendars, then offering calendars of naked women makes complete sense. And if you’re a nude model named after an X-Man character, like Mystique, then a nude calendar is just what you need to drum up business. And if your company specializes in vintage burlesque, then a little racy calendar here or there is just the thing to brighten the holidays. And, obvously, if your company is called Beefcake, one for the ladies, then some beefcake is called for.

But if your company is called Hell on Heels, and your models and naked and barefoot, you lose me. The same applies to fans of Hungarian soccer teams.

I mean, you’re just making excuses at that point.

On the other hand England’s Warwick University has elevated nudity to a cause célèbre. Both the male and the female rowers get naked for good causes every year. The men pose against homophobia and the women are firmly against cancer.

Who the hell is pro cancer anyway?

Something tells me that people who like to row boats have a predisposition to getting naked in public. What else could explain the Newcastle University Boat Club’s decision to not only pose naked but dedicate a Facebook page to thier glorious nudity. Why they are all wearing winter boots is left unexplained.

Last November, not to be outdone and because the very nature of their business calls for it, a Polish coffin maker released a nude calendar. So many people were outraged that they did it again for 2013.

Libby Page, at the Guardian UK, seems as conflicted as everyone else when it comes to naked college kids.

I would never tell any woman what they can or can’t do, but I do have problems with nude calendars.

The purpose behind the calendar, to raise money for Macmillan Cancer Support, is admirable. As is the women’s team’s refusal to let the men’s rowing team steal all the glory with their long-running naked calendar. I wish them every success with the project.

However, there are two groups of people that I think should be addressed when discussing this issue. The first is the large group of women who are tired of yet another reminder that sex sells. Although a naked calendar is undoubtedly a successful way to raise money for charity, are there not other, equally successful ways of raising money, that don’t involve taking your kit off?

For the team, the calendar may have been an empowering, liberating experience. But the flip side of the coin is that for many women looking at the calendar, it is another reminder of the objectification of women. A constant barrage of images that clearly portray women as sexual objects not only damages female self-confidence, it also makes women feel undervalued.

University naked calendars aren’t on a level with the Sun’s Page Three, but viewing 12 pages of naked women for your “pleasure and entertainment” might be seen by some as objectifying these students.

The other group that needs considering are the buyers of the calendar. It’s brilliant for the charity if lots of people buy copies, but it does make me think: why are the calendars being bought?

Of course many will be buying them to support the team and the charity. Nevertheless, there will be some buying the calendar for less than charitable reasons.

If the team are comfortable with that knowledge then that’s credit to them, but it is something that should be considered. Nakedness can be empowering and it can be liberating. But so often it can be turned into objectification.

Yes, Libby, some men who buy the women’s calendar will be waxing the old tent pole. Some men who buy the men’s calendar will be doing the same. Some women who buy the men’s calendar will be fanning the old fur. Some women who buy the women’s calendar will be doing the same. Naked pictures have that effect on people.

That”s why calendars such as Naked College Studs, another one for the ladies, are such solid sellers.

In fact, nude calendars are so popular that the ladies of the Jed Forest Hunt in England posed for one. They offer no reason but they seem to be having fun.

The subset of this, calndars of firefighters barely clad, actually has fan pages. If you manly firemen, just click here to enter the testosterone pantheon. If you prefer your firefighters estrogen enhanced, just click here and we’ve got you covered.

The men are doing it, for the most part, to make money for their respective fire departments. In case you’re wondering where your tax money didn’t go. The women are raising money to help burn victims.

Both worthy causes.

If you Google – when did that become a verb? – for 2013 nude calendar you’ll get everything from the self righteous to the silly to what you would otherwise expect.

And, yes, if you click the silly link you’ll be subjected to fat people who like canyons.

Something for everyone here today.

Of course, you’re asking the most important question there is right now; “What if I don’t have a cause and none of my friends want to get naked? How can I release a nude calendar?”

Fret not, there are tons of reasonably priced generic templates you can add your logo to.

Although it strikes me that only the very lonely or sad would go that route, there it is for you just i case.

One thing is for sure, from Suicide Girls to FEMEN to countless other organizations, don’t even get me started on PETA and its porn channel, more and more are turning to nudity to catch the public’s attention.

Now whether that’s a good thing or not I leave to you.

Simon Bolz Calendar 2013 (NSFW) from Simon Bolz on Vimeo.

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So, it’s Friday. Just like it is every seven days. And you, being a respectable member of society, decide to emulate the legendary Stephen Gough and rip off all your clothes and walk around in public. And because you’re a family person who has all the attenuate responsibilities that come with a spouse and children, you decide to spend your life in jail rather than put your clothes back on. And, somehow, if you click the link and read his interview, he makes it all sound like a rational choice. Seriously, here is his fist experience walking to town naked after his wife left him for breakfasting naked and he was staying with his parents. “Nothing really happened. There was one man who shouted, ‘That’s disgusting!’ but he was eating a sandwich so I think that’s why. I was about to go into the covered market when the police arrived in a big rush.” Ah yes, it was the sandwich that did him in. Just FYI, there are many places on our fun planet where you are welcome to be as naked as you want to be. Where I’m eating lunch isn’t one of them.

Laila Kearney says that a guy in Frisco wasn’t content to just wander around in public naked. Nope, he also had to do gymnastics and terrorize a subway station.

A trained gymnast whose naked acrobatics and harassment of passengers at a San Francisco public transit station were captured on video and circulated widely on the Internet is facing criminal charges over his antics, authorities said on Tuesday.

Yeiner Alberto Perez Garizabalo, 24, was caught on video doing handstands and contortions on turnstiles and front flips off a concrete newsstand – all in the nude – at a Bay Area Rapid Transit District station on May 10.

Video that drew more than half a million hits on YouTube shows dozens of people watching idly or ignoring Garizabalo as he accosted at least three passengers during his gymnastics routine, putting a man in a headlock and charging two women before being arrested by BART police.

Garizabalo was committed to a nearby hospital after his arrest but no police report was filed and he was released the following day, said Stephanie Ong Stillman, spokeswoman for the San Francisco district attorney’s office.

He was rearrested on Monday, more than a month after videos of the incident went viral, on charges including felony false imprisonment, misdemeanor battery and misdemeanor sexual battery. He was being held on $100,000 bail and was due in court on Tuesday afternoon to face the charges, Stillman said.

Garizabalo was a member of the ClownSnotBombs Circus, an acrobatic performance troupe in Berkeley. He dropped out of the group shortly before the BART station incident.

“(Garizabalo’s) memory of the incident … does not match what happened in the video,” Kristen Parks and other members of ClownSnotBombs said in an email to Reuters.

“When asked to describe what he remembers in his own words, he describes being in a play where everyone was actors. (He) does not remember attacking anyone,” she said, adding that the troupe believes Garizabalo may be suffering from a psychological disorder.

Parks said Garizabalo had since watched the video of his behavior at the BART station. “Now that he has seen the video and understands the gravity of what really happened he feels both guilty and horrible for what he has done,” Parks said.

Officials from the public defender’s office were not immediately available to comment, and the office could not confirm that his case had been assigned to one of its lawyers.

Okay, I have no idea what was going on in his mind or what wonderful substances he’d ingested to get to that happy state of being, but he really should have shared.

CBS News in Albany New York says that getting naked with adults is so passe. Aydrea Meyers upped the ante by getting naked while dancing with children at a school.

Police say Aydrea Meaders, a mother who allegedly got on stage and started to strip during a school assembly, is facing child endangerment and lewdness charges.

Albany police say the 24-year-old Meaders was arrested at North Albany Academy on Friday morning.

They say school staff told them the assembly was halted and the cafeteria cleared after Meaders began dancing onstage and took off some of her clothes.

She is charged with seven counts of endangering the welfare of a child and one count of public lewdness.

An Albany City Court clerk says Meaders was arraigned Friday afternoon and ordered held on $3,000 bail. She doesn’t have a lawyer yet.

The North Albany Academy is a prekindergarten through eighth grade school in the Albany district.

On the plus side, I bet that got kids to talk to their parents. On the downside, that conversation is going to redefine the word “awkward.”

But it’s still an easier conversation than the one our next story inspired.

Robby Soave reports that a teacher was conducting an experiment on the effects of sexual arousal and vocal chords.

However, since the experiment was limited to one student, he was fired and is being sued.

A vocal instructor at a community college in Washington allegedly asked a female high school student to remove her clothes during lessons, and later masturbated while she played the piano.

The woman, who was 17 years old at the time and earning college credit as a high school student, sued the teacher, Kevin Gausepohl, for taking advantage of her sexually. She also sued the state of Washington on the grounds that Tacoma Community College (TCC) failed to protect her.

Gausepohl claimed that he was studying how sexual arousal interacts with vocal range. The woman said she removed some of her clothes and touched herself upon his request.

At another session, he masturbated while she practiced the piano, she charges.

The college investigated accusations of sexual misconduct made by several students against Gausepohl in 2011.

“These students became concerned that defendant Gausepohl was sexually exploiting the plaintiff, and they reported it to TCC authorities in the spring of 2011,” the lawsuit says, according to The Bellingham Herald.

Officials concluded that he had likely violated the college’s sexual harassment policies, and terminated him. Criminal prosecutors agreed not to pursue charges if he broke no more laws for a year. Gausepohl complied with the orders, though he vigorously maintained that he was innocent.

Most students gave Gausepohl positive reviews on the teacher rating site ratemyprofessor.com, though one accused the vocal instructor of having “a problem with disciplining his class and being a friend instead of an instructor.” Several other reviews mentioned that he behaved more like a friend than a teacher.

Gausepohl is also a religious leader at Blaine Memorial United Methodist Church, according to The Daily Mail.

Seriously, don’t do it again and all is forgiven? Is the Washington State legal system run by demented howler monkeys?

Kids, a bit of advice from your weird uncle Big Bad. If an adult, who is not your doctor, asks you to remove your clothes, you are allowed to say no. If any one asks you to touch yourself, or to be allowed to touch you, then you are allowed to use that ubiquitous cell phone you use to pollute Facebook with duck face photos and call the cops.

Cops are happy to answer those calls. Really. That kind of stuff makes their day. So, avoid being assaulted by making a cop happy.

And happy cops mean less crazy naked people walking around your mall.

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Have you ever been naked with another person? Of course you have. Odds are you enjoyed the experience. I am excluding prison showers and other related experiences. I am also excluding any visit you may make to Tulsa, Oklahoma where robbers tend to steal your pants as well as your money. Okay, so, yeah, sometimes being naked with someone else isn’t all that fun. Still, overall, it’s a positive experience. You and your special someone get all giggly and warm and then you find a private place or, if you’re me and in a bit of a pinch, the top of a police car and have at it. Then, once you get out of jail, you get to smile and have memories that will last you a lifetime. Also, getting naked with your special someone, even if that special someone is someone you just met, is a time honored way to get to know them better.

But, in Florida, it only seems to lead to trouble.

David Moye is reporting that Shaun Paul Williams met his special someone and, before he had an ounce of fun, found himself beaten, robbed and stripped naked.

A lot of guys would love to end up stripped naked on the first date, but not in the way experienced by a man in Florida.

Shaun Paul Williams, 34, told deputies in Flagler County, Fla., that he was beaten, robbed, forced to strip naked and abandoned on the side of a road Friday evening during a first date with a woman named “Tree.”

Authorities found Williams nude and bloodied walking on the shoulder of a road in Bunnell, Fla., late Friday near a cow pasture, NBC News reported.

According to the police report, Williams met Tree two weeks ago and they set a date for June 14. When she picked him up, there were two other men in the vehicle and Tree explained that one of them was her brother and she was going to drop him and the other guy off at his home.

Instead, the brother asked to stop at a cow pasture and Williams chose to jump out and urinate. At that point, he said he was hit in the head with a hard, metal object while one of the men yelled, “Give me all your money and your clothes,” RawStory.com reported.

Williams looked up and saw a semi-automatic pistol pointed directly at his face, so he took off all his clothes and gave his assaulters $200 in cash, a cell phone, his Florida driver’s license, a gray tank top, a pair of black Dickie shorts and a pair of gray and black DC sneakers. The two men — who were both described as being around 30 — then fled with Tree, FlaglerLive.com reported.

Williams, a professional painter, told the Daytona Beach News-Journal that, unless he gets surgery, he could lose his right eye and that his cheekbone and jaw are fractured.

He’s also expressing regrets at how the date turned out.

“I was going to take the girl on a nice dinner, trying to be a nice guy and next thing I know, I got beat up over a couple dollars,” Williams told the Daytona Beach News-Journal. “Basically, it was my stupidity,” Williams said. “I should have realized there was something funny about it.”

Police are looking for an African American woman and two African-American men in a late-1990s model dark blue four-door sedan.

Her name was “Tree?” That is never a good sign. Willow I could understand, but Tree? And, yes, first dates that include two armed chaperons rarely turn out well unless your dating the president’s daughter.

Also in Florida, a nice man went to a nice motel with a nice young lady who only cost a nice $500 and she, much to his surprise, turned out to not so nice after all.

A Florida woman and her buddy were arrested Friday after attacking and robbing a man who thought he was going to have sex for money, police said.

Jennifer Leigh Robbins, 20, lured the victim to a Melrose Super 8 motel room at about 6:30 p.m., according to the Gainesville Sun. The victim placed $500 in $20 bills on the microwave and closed the blinds, but when he turned around Robbins allegedly attacked him with pepper spray.

Moments later, Robbins’ alleged accomplice, Matthew Stuart Pauley, 24, entered the room. The three started fighting, and the melee spilled out into the hallway. Other hotel guests separated the two men. Robbins and Pauley then fled.

But they left some of the cash and a motel key card, which led police to the suspects, the Sun-Sentinel reports. Robbins and Pauley were arrested after police interviews.

Theft and sex never mix.

Nobody knows that better than Chelsey Coutts, whose $500 worth of sex toys were stolen from the trunk of her car earlier this month. The hot-and-bothered victim had been saving the toys for a bachelorette party in Oregon.

Okay, let’s recap; both thefts involved $500. The first with cash in a microwave (??) and the other a box full of sex toys that this woman was planning on sharing with a room full of other women.

Okay, yeah, I want to party with her.

So do you.

Now, what have we learned here today? Probably nothing you didn’t know already.

Yeasayer – Ambling Alp from Spy Films on Vimeo.

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This site is not prudish. A quick search for the word “naked” will garner you hours of enjoyable reading. The same holds true if you search for “porn.” In fact you can even limit your search to “boobs” and you will be rewarded. Even so, today’s stories gave me pause. Not because they’re salacious, because they aren’t. Nor are they exploitative or degrading. Contrariwise they are uplifting and positive. Two things I’m not that comfortable with. If you want stories of happy puppies or stuff like that this really isn’t your blog. That being said, I’m going to give it the old school try today anyway. And the old school try would be the most appropriate way when you consider the subject matter.

The town of Montserrat in Spain is, like everywhere else, having budget troubles. To save money they cut school bus service to anyone living closer than 3 KM to the school. Well, there are some very dangerous roads in that area so moms wanted the service restored. So they got a budget, put together a plan and then took off all their clothes to make a calendar.

Which they sell locally only.

A group of fearless mothers in Spain have gone topless in order to save their school’s bus.

The women, all mothers of children in the town of Montserrat, decided to take the rather unconventional course of action in December, after authorities in the region decided to restrict school bus pick-ups in an attempt to save money, according to Euronews.

A topless calendar may seem extreme, but for many families, it was worth it.

After bus service was cut, families were forced to navigate a difficult and often long walk to school, according to The Telegraph.

NRP reports that Eva Maria Casas Sancho’s children were forced to walk almost 3 miles to their elementary school after the cuts.

“There’s no sidewalk and there are lots of trucks going fast,” said Sancho, a 41-year-old mother of three, and the calendar’s Ms. June. “The truth is, it’s pretty dangerous for kids to be walking there.”

Montserrat is located near Valencia, one of the country’s largest cities, and also a region extremely hard hit by the burst of a real estate bubble, according to Reuters. Valencia and its northern neighbor Catalonia are the country’s two most indebted areas.

The calendar has since proved immensely popular in the small Mediterranean town of around 7,000, according to NPR.

The Associated Press reports that the mothers need about $4,100 to fund the bus, driver and monitor for a month. So far, calendar sales have raised enough money to keep the bus running through June.

One reason the calendar is popular is that the moms are hot. Another reason is that they are mostly naked. And the best reason is that the damn thing is hard to get. You need to get someone in town to buy it for you.

Well, if being naked can get kids to school safely why shouldn’t it get people to eat healthier?

Wait, what?

Yes kids, the hottest fad this side of the Harlem Shake is Naked Vegan Cooking.

When Jess, Greta, and Zach moved in together, they decided to bare more than their souls to each other — at least in the kitchen.

Jess, 24, and Greta, 21, became instant cooking competitors, constantly trying to out-do the other in creative recipes. Zach, 24, just liked to walk around naked.

Then one day the three students from Manchester, UK, decided to put the competition — and their duds — behind them.

They stripped down and started Naked Vegan Cooking dot com, a website where the roommates and contributors share vegan recipes that they cooked in the nude.

“We realized that by going naked, we created a platform to talk about a whole bunch of issues we are interested in,” Jess explained to the Huffington Post in an email.

Those interests include body image, feminism, and how the media portrays them.

Their website and Facebook page have recently gotten a rise out of people, and led to several side gigs. The trio has had art exhibitions, pop-up restaurants, and is just finishing off an anthology of body image writings.

Even in an age of Instagramming every bite we eat, few are willing to shed everything for the camera. The nakedvegancooking.com team wears its birthday suit for a reason.

“I’ve had issues with body image and eating disorders in the past,” Jess told HuffPost WeirdNews. “This has been a healing process for me. People are saturated daily with unrealistic images of how bodies ‘should be’ from magazines, advertisements, and the media. Showing unairbrushed images on the internet and creating a space to talk about these issues is really important.”

The roommates don’t always cook in the nude. It’s cold in Manchester.

“We’re poor students,” Jess said. “So we cannot afford to put the heating on so much in winter.”

Also, nudity isn’t mandatory for house guests, though the roommates surround themselves with free thinkers. On occasion, Jess said, the guests have been the ones to get naked and cook while the roommates stayed clothed.

Not everyone on the Internet is so excited about the photos on the site, which feature the roommates cooking up their favorite dishes and then covering their erogenous zones with their plates.

“Half the time we were being called ‘fat,’ and the other half of the time people were saying that if we really cared about positive body image we would have larger people on the site,” Jess said. “I guess it just proves how fickle the internet can be.”

Luckily, most of their feedback has been positive. Still, the question has to be asked: Aren’t there risks to naked cooking? HuffPost Weird News editor, Buck Wolf, for example, pointed out that bacon could be especially painful to cook without clothes.

“In the early days we did have a few slip ups, particularly with hot oil,” Jess said. “We quickly learned that aprons were not the enemy!”

Okay, to be fair, the lasagna (pictured above) looks delicious.

But have we really sunk that low that the only way we’ll pay attention any more is if we are being talked to by naked people?

Not that I’m complaining, I’m just asking.

Is Anyone Up in Providence from Film From The Future Productions on Vimeo.

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The whole Randy Travis debacle seemed like low hanging fruit. After all it’s just one minor incident in a land full of incidents. And, more importantly, Randy Travis has a history of embarrassing himself in public. It’s what he does these days. I believe he’s a follower of the Kim Kardashian school of publicity. I’m not sure how well that will play to country music fans but there’s no denying he’s been getting some serious pub these last few months. But it seems that Randy Travis isn’t a lone icon naked on the side of the road. Nay, I say unto thee, it appears he’s doing what the kids call “trending.” That’s right, he’s just a blip on the radar of the epidemic of naked drunk people behaving badly. Granted, he’s the most famous blip, so maybe he can become their spokesman. In fact, this might be the ideal time for him to point out that laws against driving drunk infringe on his rights and he can use that speech to dovetail into a nice support line for the folks at Get MADD, who are trying to legalize drunk driving. Oh sure, their arguments are full of crap, but they have a web site so they must be legit.

Right?

Anyway, let’s take a look at the kind of people Mr. Travis can help by trying to get these onerous laws against drunk driving while naked overturned.

How about this nice lady in Butte, Montana?

Anaconda police have arrested a 42-year-old Butte woman after they say she rammed into her boyfriend’s car while driving drunk and naked.

Mary Corley has been charged with drunken driving and two counts of disorderly conduct.

Police Chief Tim Barkell says officers pulled Corley over on Highway 1 Friday after she rammed into the car east of town.

Barkell says she was naked and tried running into traffic. Nobody was injured.

Corley has been released from jail on her own recognizance. She is scheduled to appear in justice court on the misdemeanor charges Aug. 7.

See? Alcohol had nothing to do with it. It was all about unrequited love. Do we really want Big Brother regulating our love lives?

I don’t think so.

Or how about this fine young woman? She was arrested for testing our her car’s accelerator by easing it around town at a mere 128 MPH while she was naked and drunker than a skunk. Obviously the man just be putting her down.

Words don’t really do her justice so make sure to slick the link to see her in all her naked glory as she got arrested.

Of course not all current drunken nudists are woman, sad as it is to say that. Police in San Diego arrested a naked drunk guy for …. oh, you won’t believe me. Just read it.

A 25-year-old man was arrested early Thursday in Clairemont after police said he went into a neighbor’s home, took off his clothes and got into her bed.

The woman returned about 12:30 a.m. to her home on Clairemont Mesa Boulevard near Limerick Avenue where she found the naked intruder and called authorities, San Diego police said.

Officers arrived and took the tattooed man into custody.

He told officers that he heard a noise at the woman’s residence, went inside to investigate and then got naked and into bed to wait for her because “he did not want to startle her, “ police said.

He was arrested on prowling charges, authorities said.

Well, good thinking there Skippy. All the single women I know love coming home to strange naked men in their bed. It’s more fun than Monopoly.

Well, maybe not that much fun.

And certainly not as much fun as a Michigan priest was having when cops arrested him for being drunk and naked with a laptop in his car.

Admit it, you just thanked God that there were no children involved.

The pastor of Sacred Heart Parish in Dearborn was suspended Monday after the Catholic Archdiocese of Detroit learned he had been arrested on suspicion of drunken driving — in the nude.

The archdiocese issued a statement Tuesday saying the Rev. Peter Petroske, 57, had been placed on administrative leave.

A knowledgeable city source told the Free Press that Petroske was arrested early Friday about a block from the church on Michigan Avenue, and had a laptop computer with him in the vehicle.

His blood-alcohol level was just over the limit at which someone can be convicted of drunken driving in Michigan, the person said.

Dearborn Police Chief Ronald Haddad declined to comment, saying the matter was under investigation.

The archdiocese statement said that when Petroske was arrested, he was alone in his vehicle and “was charged with driving under the influence of alcohol and indecent exposure. Archdiocesan officials met with parish staff on Monday.”

Archdiocese spokesman Joe Kohn said the leave is indefinite. He said he could not discuss the laptop but confirmed that Petroske was not dressed at the time of the arrest.

Kohn said Petroske conducted mass on Sunday and that the archdiocese learned about his arrest that night. Kohn said Petroske then “fully cooperated” with the diocese.

With 1,900 member families, Sacred Heart Parish is Dearborn’s second-largest Catholic church. Petroske has been pastor since 2008. The parish also operates a school.

Church members said they were shocked by the news about their pastor, a native of Frankfurt, Germany, who was orphaned at a young age. Following his ordination in the Diocese of Marquette in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, his first assignment was as associate pastor at St. Anne in Escanaba.

According to his biography on Sacred Heart’s website, Petroske drove 70 miles a weekend to offer mass in four different UP communities.

His first assignment in the Detroit Archdiocese was in 1991 at St. Rene Goupil in Sterling Heights. He also served at St. Anne in Warren and St. Pius X in Southgate before arriving in Dearborn four years ago.

“He’s been just a fantastic pastor, an inspiring speaker. Obviously something very strange must have occurred,” said Ned Nikodem of Dearborn, a former vice chairman of the church’s Pastoral Council. “He has just a devout appreciation for the liturgy and scripture, and he can interpret it in ways that make it moving and meaningful.”

Well, naked drunk ecclesiastics can be inspirational, I can see that. Especially when they’re reciting the Songs of Solomon. Obviously this is just another heinous example of government intruding on religious freedom.

FREE FATHER PATROSKE!!!

Okay, on to the headliner today. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Randy Travis, who was bailed out of jail by a stranger.

Disgraced country icon Randy Travis should be singing “Forever and Ever Amen” for his fans.

After news broke of the 53-year-old Travis’ arrest on DWI charges when he was found napping on the side of a Texas road after crashing his car, several of his fans rushed to the Grayson County jail to help, TMZ reported.

One fan, local lawyer Gary Corley, told the gossip site he gave his idol his Texas Longhorns cap and a ride home to “ do the humanitarian thing.”

Another fan even posted Travis’ $21,500 bail Wednesday morning, according to TMZ.

Not everyone, though, is singing Travis’ praises. The driver who discovered country singer Randy Travis lying naked on a road near Tioga —where the country singer lives — told a 911 operator that he was “freaked out” by his discovery.

Grayson County police released an audio tape of the 911 call late Wednesday in the aftermath of the country icon’s arrest on DWI charges.

When prodded for more details by the 911 operator, the unidentified caller said: “It looked like a deer at first, but as came by it looked human.

“I want to say it was a white male, light brown hair, but I’m not so sure. I want to say he had no shirt on, but I don’t know. I want to stay in the vehicle.”

Police said Travis not only had no shirt on at the time of his arrest — but not a shred of other clothing either. A short while earlier, before the crash, a convenience store clerk called 911 to report a naked man matching Travis’ description who came into the store to buy cigarettes but couldn’t pay for them, Dallas NBC 5 KXAS reported.

When roused at the crash site, Travis had “strong odor of an alcoholic beverage on his breath and several signs of intoxication,” police told The Associated Press.

During his arrest, police say Travis went from a stupor to beligerant.

“At one point during the evening and at some point after that he made contact with him, he threatened to kill two of the troopers,” Sgt. Ricky Wheeler of the Grayson County Sherriff’s Department told reporters.

Travis spent the night in jail, but was released Wednesday morning after the fan posted his bail. Photographers snapped pictures of the “Forever and Ever” singer leaving the Grayson County jail in scrubs and the Longhorns cap given him by Corley.

Tuesday night’s arrest comes just six months after the singer was arrested and charged with public intoxication in a church parking lot. Travis pleaded no contest to that charge.

A representative for the country singer told the AP there would be no immediate comment about the arrest.

Well, of course he couldn’t pay for the smokes. Where the hell was he going to put his wallet? Has that clerk no common sense?

Gee-Yiminy-Christmas. People are just dumb.

As to the caller who thought that Travis was a deer, I ask who was the one drinking here? If you can’t tell a naked guy from a deer I really hope you never go hunting. As to the rest, what was the poor Mr. Travis to do? Confronted by belligerent people wearing uniforms and carrying guns he was left with little choice tbut to try and defend himself with his imaginary guns.

Or did they think that dangly thing was loaded?

Until next time here’s a video presented by the next generation of people who will end up like Mr. Travis and his friends.

Necro – I Wanna F**k! – Official Music Video from NECRO – Official Video Page on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.