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Ban the Ban

As three of you know, I’m a writer. As such I use words to convey ideas. As others may attest, I’m also an adult. As such I sometimes wish to discuss things that may, or may not, be salient to other adults. Some of those things are violent (read the news for reasons why), others may be sexual (surf the internet to see why), or some may be just about food. I happen to like food. Click that link if you like food too. But, and this is important, if…

Dem’s Difrunt Dan Us

We’ve been touching on some serious stuff like science and reality and stuff. And we have noted that there are people who are not convinced that this whole reality thing exists. Bigfoot? Sure. Science? Well that’s just a theory. So I thought that today might be a fun day to take a look at these reality deniers. And where do we find them? Well, sure, we could head to any Tea Party rally but that’s picking low hanging fruit. So where then? Well, you know us, we are going to…

Not For Sharing With Strangers

As things become more public the public learns to deal with them in one way or another. Unless you’re a lawmaker in Kansas, then you just try and make reality go away. It never works but, BY GOD, they do try. They actually have my favorite law in America. In an attempt to ban Sharia Law, a problem that did not and does not exist, they passed a law banning any religion from influencing the laws of their shiny land. A move which could legalize gay marriage there now. It’s…

Thank God No One Overreacted!

Florida is a strange state. You know that, I know that, people with double digit IQs know it, yet Floridians themselves seem blissfully unaware of that fact. This is the state that encouraged people to hunt pythons with hand guns. Which is just as effective as hunting elephants with pebbles. Fortunately no one was killed. Why is there a python problem in Florida? Because they hold cockroach eating contests so poor people can own them too until the poor people realize they can’t afford the upkeep pythons require and end…

For Moms and Dads …. Only

I am an adult. I write for adults. I should also note that I don’t have any children. Don’t get me wrong, I love my nieces and nephews and the kids of my friends, I just never think about them when they aren’t around. Or, if I do, it is purely in the abstract. Other mothers’ children, as it were. Over the last few weeks I have broached some more adult themed pieces. And I have posted some more mature, not porn but still for the 21 and up crowd,…

The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions

Did you see the Oscars last night? Me neither. Having a complete stranger tell me how much they love me, when they really just love the $10 I paid for the damn ticket, is not as heartwarming as these professional sociopaths seem to think. Add in the fact that they expect me to make a time commitment that lasts longer than most dates, and that includes the sex, and you can see why I might find something else to do with my time. I rearranged my sock drawer and cheered…

Sexapalooza 2012

While some of the below stories have graced this blog this year, seeing them all in one place is so impressive that it must be shared. And the beautiful part about it is that they have edited out the naked criminals – like the guy who robbed a 7-11 or the guy who peed on a police car while naked – to keep the list as short as it is. This is a state where it is illegal to molest an alligator or a manatee, and has been for years,…

What a Cute Witto Puppy

Happy Tuesday ya’ll. As those of you who heard the radio show last Friday are aware, I’ve been fighting off a nasty cold. Today is the first day in a bit where I woke up and didn’t cough up a phlegm ball the size of my head. Yep, things are looking up. In any case I figured today would be a good day to stick to a lighter topic. Something fun and frivelous. I found a story about why people like puppies. That seemed to qualify. A nice little piece…

Florida + Animals = ?????

I have written on a few occasions about how it took Florida four tries to pass a law outlawing bestiality. We all had a good laugh at the time when they outlawed all sex between mammals until they found out that humans are mammals too. But, eventually, they got it right and it is now illegal in Florida to frolic with a filly in a flirtatious manner. Naturally, becasue this is Florida we’re talking about, someone is upset at the government’s intrusion into their private life. It should be noted…

Only in Florida

Back on April 26th of last year I noted that Florida was a fun place to go if you wanted to have sex with your pet. After that Florida went into full on defense mode and tried to outlaw bestiality. They, in the process, outlawed all sex between mammals unless it was specifically for husbandry. When it was pointed out that humans are mammals and that selling your wife or significant other for sex violates other laws it was quickly rescinded. I should note that this had to be pointed…