• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

World News Center

Everything you want to know about anything that's meaningful

  • News
  • Reviews
  • About
  • Contact Us
You are here: Home / Search for "bestiality"

Search Results for: bestiality

Ban the Ban

August 31, 2017 by Bill McCormick

A very bad idea whose time keeps coming back.
As three of you know, I’m a writer. As such I use words to convey ideas. As others may attest, I’m also an adult. As such I sometimes wish to discuss things that may, or may not, be salient to other adults. Some of those things are violent (read the news for reasons why), others may be sexual (surf the internet to see why), or some may be just about food. I happen to like food. Click that link if you like food too. But, and this is important, if a discussion arises wherein I’m uncomfortable with the subject matter I have choices. I can walk away, I can stay and learn, or I can light someone on fire. Actually, no, I can’t do that last one. I bet you can name some solid reasons why. Yet, for some, burning ideas is accepted. If you don’t like it you BAN it. Usually in high dudgeon, with much gesticulating (to prove you’re earnest), and wrapped in a cloak devoid of common sense. So, yes, joy of joys, censorship hath returned to rear its distorted, ugly, head.

Jim Millot, over at Publisher’s weekly, takes a look at the latest idiots to try and make the world a blander place.

Nook.

A new content policy instituted by Nook Press last week has resulted in the termination of the accounts of numerous self-published authors.

In recent days, authors have been receiving notices from Nook, which is owned by Barnes & Noble, informing them that their titles are in violation of Nook’s updated content policy. The authors have been told that their titles have been removed from sale, and their accounts have been terminated.

A number of authors who’ve received the notices have taken to social media to vent their frustrations. In a blog post about the situation author Georgette St. Clair said she would have acted to conform to the content policy, had she known it was needed. She writes: “I have never gotten a single warning or complaint from B&N about any of these titles; if I had, I would have taken it down immediately.”

Conformity is not what they’re after. At least not in any literary sense. What they want is “safe” literature. Words that could be read in any Sunday school.

Ooops. More on that in a bit.

Let’s first take a look at the new rules and then we’ll parse out the most obvious violations.

… works portraying or encouraging incest, rape, bestiality, necrophilia, paedophilia or content that encourages hate or violence.

For the record I’m not a fan of any of those activities, but that’s not the issue here today.

There is an entire Wikipedia page devoted to incest in literature. It, amazingly, leaves out Oedipus Rex. Long story short, dude has sex with his mom, kills his dad, and has a bad day.

Since I write Sci-Fi, let’s go play in my backyard.

Science-fiction

  • Incest also appears in the writings of two major authors of science fiction, Ursula K. Le Guin and Robert A. Heinlein. Le Guin’s short story “Nine Lives” (1969) features ten clones (five male, five female) of the same person, whose intimate relationship includes incest. Her novel The Left Hand of Darkness (1969) contains a story of two siblings who mate, despite a taboo against it.
  • In Philip K. Dick‘s novel, Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said (1974), Inspector McNulty is in a sexual relationship with his sister.
  • In Piers Anthony‘s Bio of a Space Tyrant (from 1983), the main character’s sister has sex with him when he is 15 and she is 12.

Heinlein wrote numerous books advocating incest as a great way to teach kids the joy of sex. There are those who argue he was satirizing the logical end of the Free Love movement in the 60’s. Maybe. But if satire was his goal he missed it by a wide margin.

Ian Bertram, at Without the State, sums it up nicely.

I have to confess that I find Heinlein’s exploration of sexual themes in these later books disturbing. Although books like “The Moon is a Harsh Mistress” and “Stranger” allegedly promote an open attitude to sex and sexuality, his final series of books goes far beyond that, dealing extensively with incest and child sex. In “To Sail Beyond the Sunset” for example, his main protagonist Maureen Johnson (mother of Lazarus Long) connives with her husband to enable him to have sex with two of his daughters – one of them sixteen at the time. She also tries to seduce her own father and speculates on whether he has had sex with one of his granddaughters. Stripped of its SF elements and submitted without Heinlein’s name attached I wonder how easily such a sleazy tale would have found a publisher. A lot of the sexual element of the story is covered by misdirection about ‘Mrs Grundy’, but in real terms a significant element is about child abuse, justified moreover in terms that any paedophile would recognise. Positive representations of incest also turn up in “Job”, “Farnham’s Freehold” and “The Cat Who Walks Through Walls” and most explicitly in “Time Enough for Love” where Lazarus Long makes love to his mother Maureen – a sequence reprised in “Sunset” as part of the wider sequence of incest involving Long, Maureen and her husband, their two daughters and Maureen’s father.

The most explicit example of what I can only call a fixation on young girls – other than ‘Sunset’ – is probably ‘The Door into Summer’ where the hero Dan Davis uses a combination of ‘cold sleep’ and time travel to persuade the 11 year old daughter of his business partner to take cold sleep herself when she reaches 21 so that he can marry her, having gone back into cold sleep himself to come out at the same time. A similar situation arises in “Time for the Stars”, although in this case the hero has been in telepathic communication with the young girl since she was a baby as he travels on an interstellar expedition. The effects of relativity allow her to age so that when he returns to earth he can marry her.

Examples of this fixation can be found to a greater or lesser degree throughout his work. In “Moon” for example, describing the death of Ludmilla, one of Mannie’s wives, he writes, “An explosive bullet hit between her lovely, little-girl breasts”. In “Cat” there is an extended and sexually charged discussion of the delights of spanking a 13-year-old girl. In “Time Enough for Love” Lazarus Long marries a young woman he first meets as a very young child of about 6 years old, his longevity serving the same purpose as time travel and relativity did in “Summer” and “Stars”. Even in his so-called ‘juveniles’ there is a usually a strong dissonance between the actual behaviour and the calendar age of his female characters, all of them demonstrating extreme precocity.

The remaining limitations from Nook seem laudable until you realize they aren’t defined. Hate speech sounds like a great thing to avoid until they decide that “I hate broccoli” should cost an author their placement.

The point here is that all of the terms used are subjective and I, whether you ask or not, am not comfortable having a nameless functionary decide what is, and is not, acceptable.

Beastiality?

Not a fun way to kill an evening at my house, but still legal in many states in the U.S. As I noted before.

Pop quiz, if you’ll pardon the expression. What do Alabama, Alaska, California, Colorado, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont & Virginia have in common? You can marry your first cousin in every one of them. Well, as long as your first cousin is a member of the opposite sex anyway. But all is not lost. If you’re in Connecticut, Maryland, Massachusetts, New York, Vermont or Washington D.C., then you’re one of the lucky few who can marry your gay first cousin. In fact, if you’re in Alaska, Colorado, Connecticut, Hawaii, New Jersey, New Mexico & Vermont you can even have sex with the horse you rode to church after you marry your cousin. Which means that in Connecticut you can marry your gay first cousin while having sex with a horse and be completely within the law.

Plan your vacation now.

Rape? Goodbye Shakespeare, goodbye Jessica Jones comic books, goodbye most literature from the 1600’s forward. If you’ve read The Three Musketeers you’ll know why. It wasn’t subtitled The D’Artagnan Romances #1 by accident.

Above I mentioned Sunday school. The Bible hits all of the offending categories in spades.

Dinah was raped in Genesis.

Beastiality gets four mentions in the Old Testament. To be fair, they are verses condemning it. But, you can only condemn something if it’s happening. Kind of like seeing signs reminding people not to have sex in the birthing rooms in a maternity ward. Someone did that. So, just think about it for a moment and we’ll move on.

Paedophilia gets a shout out in the Old Testament, five times, and it seems like it was heartily approved.

Hate speech? Well, there’s not a lot of positive press for Romans, Samaritans, any non-Jews actually, or others in the Bible.

In fact, just to make it easy on you, Kings, the story of David, hits all the high points, minus beastialtiy, in one long story. Just think of the Godfather movies with a different accent.

So how is Nook enforcing its new rules? Not by banning the Bible, that I can assure you.

Nope, they’re going after low hanging fruit. Self published authors who dream of writing the next 50 Shades of Gray. Given how low that series set the bar you can see why these authors would think it was an attainable goal.

They are attacking the most vulnerable (i.e., people who can’t afford lawyers) just to make themselves feel better.

I’m not saying you should read your favorite rape stories at Sunday school. Nor do I think everyone of every age should read everything. Age appropriate is a thing for a reason. But banning these books isn’t going to make people stop thinking about these things.

More importantly, this crazy stuff called science, has shown that a healthy, and active, fantasy life involving sex is good for you. It promotes happier relationships. Or, to put it another way, the majority of women who read, and enjoyed, 50 Shades, have no real plans to get kidnapped and used as a sex toy for a billionaire.

I know, you find that hard to believe. Just ask your mom. She’ll tell you the truth.


Listen to Bill every Friday around 9:10 AM (Central Time) on The Big Wake Up Call
contact Bill McCormick
Your Ad Can Be Here Now!

Filed Under: News Tagged With: ban, bible, fun, nook, sex

Dem’s Difrunt Dan Us

April 23, 2014 by

What was your first date like?
What was your first date like?
We’ve been touching on some serious stuff like science and reality and stuff. And we have noted that there are people who are not convinced that this whole reality thing exists. Bigfoot? Sure. Science? Well that’s just a theory. So I thought that today might be a fun day to take a look at these reality deniers. And where do we find them? Well, sure, we could head to any Tea Party rally but that’s picking low hanging fruit. So where then? Well, you know us, we are going to look for even lower hanging fruit. We want that stuff scraping the ground. Therefore I direct your jaundiced gaze south to the lovely realm of Florida. An empathetic state that has made it legal for the police to confiscate the clothes and personal possessions of homeless people. No, seriously, they did that. Specifically in Ft. Lauderdale because all the poor people their economy created make the rich people queasy. Yes, you may feel free to insert a “head desk” here. While I’m here I should note that Florida’s bestiality law is still being challenged in court as an infringement on personal freedoms. Just in case you were worried I was going to the wrong place to look for morons.

So let’s get this party started.

As an intelligent adult you may have figured out that getting arrested is not a good thing. Furthermore, asking the arresting officer to drop down and blow you might, just might, lead to additional charges. You would know that. Charles Bolen has no such limitations.

A South Florida man is accused of being a nuisance and then making some pretty serious threats to the arresting officer.

Charles Bolen, 53, of Pompano Beach, was arrested Friday in Palm Beach Gardens.

He’s accused of yelling at customers in front of a Walgreen’s store on Northlake Boulevard, and threatening to hurt them.

Bolen then took his act down the street to Pep Boys, where he “demanded money for beer,” according to his arrest report.

Once he was convinced to leave the store, he told officers to “wait until I get across the street and you will see what I am going to do,” the report said.

That’s when the officer started to arrest him, prompting Bolen to say “you are not taking me to jail.”

As he was being taken to jail, Bolen told the officer he was going to “****” the officer’s “wife in the ***,” according to the report.

And the final insult came when Bolen was in his holding cell, when he “unzipped his pants” and told the officer to perform a sex act on him, the report said.

Bolen is charged with disorderly conduct and exposure of sexual organs.

Of course, since this is Florida, the incident is far from isolated, as evidenced by the tawdry tale of The City Pimp.

A homeless man who goes by the nickname “City Pimp” was arrested after allegedly eating fast food from Wendy’s while lying in front of another business with his pants down and his genitals exposed.

Anthony Johnson, 54, was arrested in front of a Walgreen’s store in the 1200 block of Palm Beach Lakes Boulevard on Wednesday afternoon.

According to the arrest report, Johnson “was laying in the front of the business with his pants around his knees, exposing his genitals.”

The arresting officer also wrote in the report that the Walgreen’s manager said Johnson “is a constant problem to the business, and they receive numerous complaints a day about him on the property.”

Johnson was charged with lewd or lascivious exhibition.

Well, to be fair, Wendy’s does make one of the best fast food chain burgers in the country. I’m not sure I’d get that excited about them, but that’s just me.

Of course not all food related police calls involve genitalia, I know – you’re shocked, sometimes it just involves some crack and linguine. With the linguine being used as a weapon.

Yeah, this is the state that just keeps on giving.

A woman described as a “crazy” acting “crackhead” got locked up after accusations she hurled pasta at a man, punched him in the mouth and busted a coffee cup, according to a recently released affidavit.

What could be called the case of the linguine launching lady began boiling late on April 5 as Port St. Lucie police went to an address in the 2400 block of Southeast Garden Terrace.

A man identified as the victim said he was expecting Jeri Rossello, 45, to drop by and get some of her stuff. She came in and walked to the kitchen. Rossello, he said, grabbed a pasta meal from the refrigerator and threw it at him.

Pasta is a general term for a variety of thin, dough-based foodstuffs of Italian origin sometimes served with meatballs. Available in a cornucopia of shapes and dimensions, pasta typically is rigid until boiled. It’s often served with a sauce, such as marinara, pesto, bolognese, alfredo or Fra Diavolo, with types of pasta including angel hair, linguine and elbow macaroni.

Meanwhile, the victim said, Rossello smashed a coffee mug and pulled phone wires from the wall. He said she punched him in the mouth and took off in a U-Haul van.

He described Rossello as a “crack head” who acted “crazy,” telling police she may have gone to a different address where she’s staying with another dude.

Investigators eventually found Rossello, who said she tried some leftover linguine but put it back in the refrigerator. She said there was no physical or verbal altercation.

Asked about the victim’s injured lip, Rossello said he must have done that to himself.

Rossello, of the 1500 block of Southeast Balcourt Court in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a misdemeanor battery charge.

Go back and read that again. The author felt that he needed take an entire paragraph to explain what pasta is and how it’s used.

That’s what’s called “speaking to your target audience” i.e., morons.

But what do all these fine citizens have in common? Well, (1), they’re citizens of Florida and, (2) they are products of the Floridian educational system. And who’s the shining example of that fine institution? Nancy Louise Vaughn would be a good contender. After all not many teachers are so hammered at 7:00 AM that they get a DUI on their way to school.

An Estero High School teacher was arrested and charged with driving under the influence Monday morning.

Just before 7 a.m., a deputy was dispatched after receiving calls about a reckless driver on Imperial Parkway and Terry Street. The callers advised that the driver of a red car was going 20 mph and was swerving in both lanes.

The deputy caught up to the red vehicle and observed the same behavior as described by the callers. Subsequently, the deputy conducted a traffic stop.

The driver identified herself as Nancy Louise Vaughn, 56, and asked the deputy why she was being stopped, claiming she was not speeding and only going 45 mph.

While talking to Vaughn, the deputy said she had a glassy look in her eyes and had a slow reaction to his questions. The deputy said she could not keep her balance when she was asked to step out of the vehicle.

Vaughn was asked to perform some sobriety exercises, which the deputy says she failed.

The deputy concluded that she was impaired and she was arrested.

When asked if she had been drinking or possibly taking any prescription drugs, Vaughn told the deputy she had not.

She then told the deputy that she was a school teacher and was on her way to work at Estero High School.

Over two hours after she was stopped, deputies say Vaughn’s breathalyzer test readings were .258 and .273 – three times the legal limit.

The school’s website lists Vaughn as an Intensive Reading teacher, with the goal of improving reading comprehension and FCAT scores. The FCAT testing started for Lee County students on Monday.

“She was my favorite. She was awesome, not only did she care about me as a high school student but what was to come of me in college also,” said Emma Kenline, a former Estero High student.

“[She] needs to learn from her mistakes. She did it before this is the second time,” said Estero High School senior, Austin Roberts.

This is Vaughn’s second DUI in Lee County in less than one year.

Students say in the classroom, Vaughn was nice, but strict. Outside, she had tons of school spirit.

“She didn’t really talk about her family life at all. It was very professional didn’t really talk about her personal life,” said Estero High School junior, Maddie Dawson.

“I mean everybody makes mistakes. I guess this is hers. But what she needs is our help, not our criticism,” Kenline said.

We asked students if Vaughn ever seemed drunk in the classroom before–the kids we spoke with said no.

Vaughn is no longer teaching her classes and has been reassigned to another position outside of the school.

The district is investigating the incident.

Note number one; there were several typos in this article that I fixed so my readers would not think I was an idiot. Number two, this is why you hire someone with, at least, a high school education to proof your work.

Now, again, go read this one more time. It took them two hours to administer a sobriety test. Plus this is her second go round with a DUI and he students are aware of them both.

But I’m not done.

The town where she lives, Estero, was founded by a complete whack job, Dr. Cyrus Reed Teed, who proposed a theory that we live on the inside of the Earth’s outer skin, and that celestial bodies are all contained inside the hollow Earth.

To be fair, Estero has a high employment rate, a nice fire department and 98% of its population is white, which is why drunken teachers who could cause kids to die get a pass.

I don’t need to tell you who doesn’t get a pass.

Bikini Bowfishing Official DVD Trailer from Florida Bowfishing on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Visit us on Rebel Mouse for even more fun!
contact Bill McCormick
Your Ad Can Be Here Now!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Not For Sharing With Strangers

February 17, 2014 by

Yeah, these you should keep to yourself.
Yeah, these you should keep to yourself.
As things become more public the public learns to deal with them in one way or another. Unless you’re a lawmaker in Kansas, then you just try and make reality go away. It never works but, BY GOD, they do try. They actually have my favorite law in America. In an attempt to ban Sharia Law, a problem that did not and does not exist, they passed a law banning any religion from influencing the laws of their shiny land. A move which could legalize gay marriage there now. It’s called Senate Bill 79 or, as I like to call it, 10 More than Happiness. No one has put that sucker to the test yet but I bet someone will. In non-religious news, bestiality arrests have quadrupled since 2008. A large part of that is due to the public becoming more aware that this is a real crime and reporting it as such. In Florida, where they only recently made the practice illegal, and it took them four tries at that, courts are finally jailing people for the crime. And we’re talking serious time. One guy just got 8 years plus an additional 9 on parole. Of course, Florida is still the king when it comes to family values and boasts the only Mother/Daughter porn team in the world. More importantly, it seems that some people are walking among us without any social filters. Two women were arrested this week for trying to kill guys who wouldn’t have sex with them, one of whom was a complete stranger to the lady. When a headline features your name followed by the phrase “Goes On Bloody, Naked Rampage After Boyfriend Refuses Sex” you might want to rethink some of your life choices.

I’m just saying.

You might also want to send the editor a copy of an English textbook so they can learn how to use commas.

That being said, millions of men and women have worked out a way to keep themselves satisfied and out of trouble. They wander down to their local adult toy shop and pick up something to provide a little self pleasure and stress relief. If you’re not sure what you need you’ll find the staff very helpful. The choices can be daunting.

But we live in a universe that has entropy and, as such, things wear out. So what do you do when your self pleasuring device needs to be put down? You do what millions already do, you recycle it.

Aimee Heckel shares a lovely story about her husband, used dildos and earth friendly politics.

My husband was astounded by the number of phallic objects on the conveyor belt.

A few years ago, he volunteered to help sort junk at a recycling facility in Boulder County. As Colorado residents, philanthropy and recycling is a residency requirement, and/or punishment if you break the law. What brought him there isn’t interesting.

What brought him home is.

He came home near tears. The old sex toys! The ratty, strange, sticky, damaged sex toys! They kept coming, he explained. At first, a doodad on the conveyor belt was novel. Funny, even. Then more. Baffling. More. Violating.

That’s when we learned the hard way: You can recycle your ex’s Magic Wand. Collection centers can sterilize naughty castoffs and, well, grind the rubber and silicone down into skanky dust (not the official term) to be remolded into new goodies.

After a new sanitary layer of silicone, that is.

After his encounter at the recycling facility, my husband might request two protective layers.

Indeed, sex without a condom isn’t the only kind of sex that may make your lady bits cry. Your sex toys may be toxic. And not very alluring to the environment, either.

Increasingly more adult stores are offering nontoxic, green goodies (and I’m not talking about the color, not that there’s anything wrong with a Hulkavater, which surely exists). This new buzz of pleasure contains no PVC, animal products or phthalates, which some people fear may be linked to reproductive problems, including low sperm counts. Still, the FDA reports there’s not a “sound, scientific basis” for concern.

In respect for Oh-Mama Earth, green sex toys are also often made in the USA (with a smaller carbon footprint), sold in recyclable packaging and rechargeable, to reduce the number of batteries that end up in the landfill. You can easily find green sex toys online at eartherotics.com and ecorotic.com, just to name a few.

The local, handcrafted sex toy movement is growing, too. Etsy is bursting with handmade everythings — from floggers, to ticklers, to bed restraints, to hypoallergenic, phthalate-free, printed-to-order, hand-polished vibrators.

Jonathan Kasemir, of Longmont, Colo., started making hand-braided whips last February. He started his business, RavenTiger Whips, in response to his then-girlfriend’s request to experiment with BDSM.

“She wanted me to try whipping her, and I wasn’t going to spend and arm and a leg to get one if I wasn’t even sure I was going to like it,” Kasemir says.

Today, he says he can play the drums using two whips. (Literally. That’s not a euphemism.) In the last year, Kasemir says he has sold about 90 whips to Coloradoans, ranging from about $130 to $300 each, mostly via word of mouth, at social events and through BDSM social-networking sites. In fact, the demand is so great that he he has a two-month waiting list.

The whips, custom-tailored using parachute cord, take about seven hours to braid, he says.

Buying local has its benefits; Kasemir says clients enjoy picking the color, design patterns, weight, length, width and handle style. Plus, if something breaks, he can fix it for them. There’s one more bonus of buying locally, Kasemir says.

“I even help people learn how to throw their whips when they order them,” he says.

Yes, she’s right. There is a Hulk themed vibrator. Actually, there’s an entire line based on the Avengers. Earth’s mightiest and all that.

• Captain America – silicon vibrator
• Iron Man – twin motor vibrator
• Thor – electrical stimulator
• Hulk – 12” silicone dildo
• Black Widow – discreet clitoral stimulator
• Hawkeye – G-spot vibrator

And, as you can see from the above, business ideas can come from anywhere. Although, sadly, there is no follow up if the young lady enjoyed the sting of the lash even if many others have and do thanks to Mr. Kasemir’s entrepreneurial spirit.

And what do all those tons of recycle plastics get used in? A lot of them are in children’t playgrounds all over the country.

You’ll never forget that, I promise.

Okay Grandma, show the kids how it’s done.

Madonna – Erotica (Uncensored) from MstMst on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Visit us on Rebel Mouse for even more fun!
contact Bill McCormick
Your Ad Can Be Here Now!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Thank God No One Overreacted!

January 31, 2014 by

This picture has nothing to do with today's story. I just liked it.
This picture has nothing to do with today’s story. I just liked it.

Florida is a strange state. You know that, I know that, people with double digit IQs know it, yet Floridians themselves seem blissfully unaware of that fact. This is the state that encouraged people to hunt pythons with hand guns. Which is just as effective as hunting elephants with pebbles. Fortunately no one was killed. Why is there a python problem in Florida? Because they hold cockroach eating contests so poor people can own them too until the poor people realize they can’t afford the upkeep pythons require and end up setting them loose in the swamps. Where they kill lots of stuff because they’re hungry and they can. Then again this is the fun state that took four tries to outlaw bestiality and then promptly got sued by a citizen who argues, still, that denying him sheep sex infringes on his personal rights. I could go on and on but you get the idea. Clearly infringing on people’s rights is a no-no in Florida.

Kind of.

Thanks to the Stand Your Ground law killing people can be considered a hobby. But, if you’re a gassy kid you’re going to the big house.

No, I’m not kidding.

Christopher di Armani has the whole, bizarre, story.

Schools have always had their fair share of “problem children”, but we used to actually be able to cope with them in a reasonable and sensible manner.  Not so any more.   A scan of headlines across America for just this past week showed me some bizarre and horrifying examples of how we in North America are doing our best to instill an abiding sense of fear and terror of police into our children.

For example, the case of a 12-year-old student at Stuart’s Spectrum Jr./Sr. High School was arrested for farting in class.  Sure, the little puke was being disruptive.  He’s a 12-year-old boy for crying out loud!  He’s supposed to be disruptive at that age.  It’s in his DNA.


You kick him out of class until he settles down… maybe even send him home after a phone call to his parents, but to bring in the police and arrest the kid? Put him in handcuffs and parade him out like a terrorist?

That is so far beyond absurd I don’t even know what to call it.  Clearly police from the Martin County Sheriff’s Department need to get a life, or at the very least go find some actual criminals to harass.

If they’ve got the time to arrest 12-year-old farting boys, then perhaps Martin County doesn’t need a Sheriff’s Department at all.

I’m sure the intended lesson won’t be lost on this young man… “Obey or else.”

These police officers ought to be, at the very least, ashamed of themselves.  They would appear to have missed out on even the most meager portion of common sense.

The next case of gross police absurdity comes from Midway, Georgia, where police found it necessary to shut down a lemonade stand run by a couple of kids.

Believe it or not, Midway Police Chief Kelly Morningstar said, according toFox News, that “police didn’t know how the lemonade was made, who made it or what was in it.”

Now I’m no cop, but I’m willing to bet you that I could find out the answers to those questions inside of 60 seconds and have lots of room to spare, if I felt the need to grill these kids in the first place, which I don’t.


According to the good Chief Morningstar, the kids needed to have a business license, a peddler’s permit and a food permit before operating their lemonade stand would be legal.  That would only cost a total of $230.

They were trying to raise some money for a trip to a water park. How many lemonade stands do you know that are pulling in that kind of cash?

Common sense anyone?  Don’t ask Chief Kelly Morningstar for any – she’s clearly missed her quota as well.

Citing “the law’s the law,” Morningstar was quoted as saying.  Well Chief Morningstar… in this case, the law is an ass, as is your enforcement of it.

Last on my list of asinine police actions is the case of a 16-year-old student and cheerleader who was arrested for “stealing” her cheerleader’s uniform.

Seriously?

Have we no bloody common sense any more?

Well, there is some.  It comes from the attorney for the young woman, Terence Kindlon.

“I’ve been practicing law for over 35 years now, and I have to say without hesitation this is the most absurd criminal prosecution I’ve ever seen.”

The student from New Lebanon High School was arrested because her cheerleading coach said she stole her own uniform.

Wow.  She won’t give back the uniform?  Fine.  Charge her for it and make her pay for the lost items if she wants to keep them so badly.  Who cares?

Penny Black, the cheerleading coach in question, doesn’t have an issue with this sort of stupidity.

To quote another website:

Deputy Shufelt met with Amber and her mother before a criminal complaint was signed in an effort to reconcile the situation, according to the Sheriff’s Office, but Amber “repeatedly” refused to return the uniform.

“The owner then requested criminal charges be filed and after consulting with the Columbia County District Attorney’s Office, the defendant was charged with petty larceny,” said the Sheriff’s Office report.

Amber was asked to turn herself in and be issued an appearance ticket, according to the report, but she refused that request. Deputy Shufelt got a warrant for her arrest and Amber was picked up at her job here.

Arresting a cheerleader for “stealing” her uniform is just about the most asinine thing I’ve ever heard of.

Except, of course, arresting a kid for farting, or shutting down a kid’s lemonade stand because she doesn’t have a business license for it.

I must be old-fashioned or something, because none of this makes any sense to me.

To recap, killing strangers is good. Farting, selling lemonade or being a cheerleader is bad.

Oh, and eating cockroaches is fun too. Well, except for the giant mutant ones they let loose that have no natural predators.

I seriously wonder if David Lynch runs that state.

The last two examples, from Georgia and rural NY are also fun in a “gee, can you learn to pretend to be a human” sort of way. I say this as someone who walked into an Aryan Front bar in New York once. Stupid is everywhere folks. Remain vigilant.

Ebony in Pink from Adult Image on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Visit us on Rebel Mouse for even more fun!
contact Bill McCormick
Your Ad Can Be Here Now!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

For Moms and Dads …. Only

July 10, 2013 by

This is a woman. Women have curves. I do not want to date a "woman" who looks like a 12 year old boy.
This is a woman. Women have curves. I do not want to date a “woman” who looks like a 12 year old boy.
I am an adult. I write for adults. I should also note that I don’t have any children. Don’t get me wrong, I love my nieces and nephews and the kids of my friends, I just never think about them when they aren’t around. Or, if I do, it is purely in the abstract. Other mothers’ children, as it were. Over the last few weeks I have broached some more adult themed pieces. And I have posted some more mature, not porn but still for the 21 and up crowd, comments on my Facebook page. There are only 2 people under the age of 21 on my friends’ list. One is my niece who is so used to me at this point she doesn’t even notice. The other is a young lady from Brazil who stumbled across this site a few years back and now uses it to perfect her English. I must admit that her written use of idioms has improved dramatically. Her mother, whom I have spoken with, is a dancer in Carnival every year and was initially worried that some repressed American freak wanted to do bad things to her little girl. I assured her that, of my many social ills, repression wasn’t among them and I wasn’t in to young girls. I mean, sure they’re cute and all, but what the hell can you really talk about? Over the years the young lady has followed this blog I’ve gotten to know the family pretty well. While her mother’s initial concerns have been assuaged I never complained about a mother protecting her child. And I never will.

I have, nevertheless, assembled a list of people who I will not tag in any post that is not of a cute kitten. That list grows each week. I guess I can see why. My buddy, who should know better since he’s been my buddy for 30 years, called me in horror that his 12 year old wanted to “learn how to play bukaki so she could play with Uncle Bill’s friend.” I’m sure that conversation went well. Also, it seems that posting a video (of course I’m sharing that with you) about how anal sex isn’t forbidden in the bible so it doesn’t count as real sex so girls could have all the anal they want and still be virgins, might have gone over the head of another buddy’s 15 year old daughter who brought it up at dinner to see if it was true because it seemed like a great idea to her. I’m sure that conversation went well too.

So I need to be a little more careful.

As you may have noticed, you’re reading all of this on the Internet. But if Governor Rick Scott of Florida can figure how to enforce the most ridiculous law this side of rational thought, you won’t have that problem any more. As Allen Clifton reports, Florida just outlawed the Internet.

I’m from Texas, so I know all about Rick Perry’s ridiculous behavior as governor. But I’ll give him this—at least he’s not Rick Scott.

How Florida ever elected this man is beyond astounding.

Before he was even elected Governor of Florida, the man was CEO of a company which was convicted of defrauding Medicare. It’s absolutely mind-boggling — Florida elected a man who was in charge of a company which was scamming the government, and costing the taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars.

Yet, there he sits as Governor of Florida.

Which means it should come as no surprise when this man acts recklessly and signs a ridiculous bill, which turns out to be worded so poorly that it essentially bans all computers and smartphones in the state of Florida.

It all came about when Florida Lieutenant Governor Jennifer Carroll was caught with strong ties to a charity which was suspected of being an internet gambling front.

The charity was quickly shut down.

Soon after the charity was shut down, the Republican-controlled Florida Legislature passed a bill which banned all illegal slot machines and Internet cafes, and Rick Scott promptly signed it into law.

The passing of this bill by Republicans (you know, the “small government party”) would be enough of a story by itself — except in an irresponsible haste to cover their own butts, the wording of the bill is so broad that it essentially bans every device in the state that can connect to the internet.

The bill defined illegal slot machines as any “system or network of devices” that can be used in a game of chance — vague wording that’s so all-encompassing that virtually anything with internet connectivity could be banned. Smartphones, Smart TV’s, computers, tablets, etc. In effect, if it were followed to the exact wording, it could almost outlaw the internet entirely in the state.

Think about that for a second. Can you imagine the outrage that would follow if a Democratic-controlled state legislature and governor passed a gun control bill that banned any gun that could be used to fire a bullet? There would be immediate and intense backlash and probably riots in the streets. But that would be an attack the Second Amendment, which is one of the few that Republicans actually care about. This Florida law is an attack on the First Amendment, so that’s perfectly fine, right?

Basically, this bill was a quick and pathetic overreaction to the now former Lieutenant Governor Jennifer Carroll (she’s since resigned) being caught connected with a charity that was busted for being a front for illegal online gambling.

It’s one thing to ban illegal gambling, it’s quite another to attack the freedom to access information. Which is essentially what Florida Republicans and Governor Scott did with this bill.

While the law most likely would never be used to confiscate personal computers or smartphones, the fact that it was even worded in a way that it could should concern every resident in the state.

This is just another example in a long line of corrupt, unethical and downright incompetent behavior by Governor Scott. But what more did Floridians expect from a man who was the CEO of a company that defrauded hundreds of millions from Medicare? Strong leadership and a sense of ethics?

Ah yes, Florida, the state that attempted to outlaw bestiality and ended up outlawing sex between mammals except for cases of husbandry. It’s also the state that’s being sued for violating the civil rights of a man who was arrested for having sex with a donkey. No wonder fiction is dying. Who can make up stuff weirder than this?

Allen covers the whole “elected convicted felon” angle very well so we can leave that alone except to note that Florida isn’t the only place where that’s possible. You will be completely not shocked to know that you can be elected to the U.S. Congress as a felon.

But, oddly, you can’t be an elected felon in Texas.

I’m sure they’ll fix that soon enough. How else will they replace Rick Perry?

Lately a lot of Southern Laws have baffled rational folks. Recently North Carolina, in an attempt to ban gay marriage, passed a law so vague that it strips all legal rights from any non-married couple. Yeah, that one’s tied up in court.

Not to be outdone, the great state of Kansas, having clearly identified a problem that never existed, passed a law to prevent the state from being placed under Sharia law. But, and you knew this was coming, the law is so poorly written as to outlaw ANY religious practice from influencing the law. Since only religion prevents gay marriages it would seem to pave a clear path for Adam and Steve to prove how really up to date things are in Kansas City.

All I can say is that, hearkening back to the fine traditions of Huey Long, southerners like their elected criminals and they like them to be really dumb.

PLS PLS with Elijah Jones (The Constellations) “Cocaine” music video uncensored NSFW from Video Rahim on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Visit us on Rebel Mouse for even more fun!
contact Bill McCormick

Filed Under: Uncategorized

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 5
  • Go to Next Page »

Primary Sidebar

Archives

  • October 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • November 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010

Copyright © 2023 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in