First off, so you can decide whether you should stay here or not, Santa’s Husband is a real book, written by a dude from Oak Park, who also happens to be an internationally famous comedy writer. But I think it’s cool he’s from Oak Park. Anyway, I like the book, the whole idea, and think it’s a perfect holiday gift. Keep reading if you wish, I just want you to know what you’re in for. Okay, here we go. A long time ago, in a galaxy right around here, I popped up a list of Eleven Christmas Films you had to see before you die, or killed the next mutha who turned on freaking Rudolph one more time (a film with terrible messages for humans), or another pretentious choir bellowing the classics as though their souls depended on being the loudest. Trust me, if my girlfriend had more bail money, my holidays would be much different. In other words, I feel your pain.
Another holiday tradition involves people forcing the same couple of songs onto the masses, but not until you suffer them, and then demand they be repeated until your ears bleed or you run fleeing into the night begging for the sweet release of death.
Jingle this mutha-fukka! Don’t make come over there and ho ho ho all over your ass!
Sorry, I digress.
Okay, this year what I’ve done is assembled twelve holiday songs, one for each day of Christmas, and alphabetized them. Listen to one each day, in any order you wish, to cleanse your musical palette. Or listen to them all on one day and use them to inspire you to look for more.
You can also hit the link on the bottom to email future suggestions or request more songs like these. Because, when I’m not homicidal, I’m cool like that.
Dickies (The) – Silent Night
Dropkick Murphys – The Season’s Upon Us
Emotions (The) – What do the Lonely do at Christmas?
Greg Lake – Father Christmas
James Brown – Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto
Kinks (The) – Father Christmas
Nat King Cole – The Little Boy That Santa Claus Forgot
No Doubt – Oi to the World
Patty Loveless – Bluegrass and White Snow
Run DMC – Christmas on Hollis
Waitresses (The) – Christmas Wrapping
Who (The) – Christmas
So, there you have it. In keeping with my opening comments, allow me to toss in a bonus video I’m sure the gent I mentioned above, Mr. Kibblesmith, will appreciate. Quit laughing, that is so his real name.
As my therapist once, said’ “If they’re consenting without relenting, then you all can do whatever you want.”
Happy Ho Ho’s Everyone!