First off, so you can decide whether you should stay here or not, Santa’s Husband is a real book, written by a dude from Oak Park, who also happens to be an internationally famous comedy writer. But I think it’s cool he’s from Oak Park. Anyway, I like the book, the whole idea, and think it’s a perfect holiday gift. Keep reading if you wish, I just want you to know what you’re in for. Okay, here we go. A long time ago, in a galaxy right around here, I popped up a list of Eleven Christmas Films you had to see before you die, or killed the next mutha who turned on freaking Rudolph one more time (a film with terrible messages for humans), or another pretentious choir bellowing the classics as though their souls depended on being the loudest. Trust me, if my girlfriend had more bail money, my holidays would be much different. In other words, I feel your pain. [Read more…] about Holiday Hum Along
Archives for 2019
It’s that time of year again, when people give stuff to other people and expect other stuff in return. Why they just don’t give themselves stuff and be done with it baffles me, but here we are. Then again, Christmas was banned in many countries for over a century because it was so violent. So maybe giving people stuff instead of starting riots is a step in the right direction. Add in the fact that many people will just get drunk, and watch some of the greatest, brain bending, holiday films ever made, and you have a recipe for depression. So, obviously, the best thing you can do is give them something that will make them happy. And nothing’s happier than a ball of fur or scales wrapped in love. [Read more…] about Bad Human!
From Here to Eternity
There are numerous long lived people in the Bible. There are others enumerated in the pantheon of religions that preceded the books of the children of Abraham. Eastern religions have their own immortals. In all cases immortality is the gift of the sacred. Even the evil possessors of this gift are considered above mere mortals. But that may be changing. Last year I noted that scientists had discovered how to work with the gene that causes aging, possibly even stopping it completely. There has been a spate of other developments as well. All the way back in the good old days of 2016 I wrote about how scientists were overcoming the limitations that prevented humans uploading their minds into cybernetic beings. [Read more…] about From Here to Eternity
Tomorrow’s Getting Closer
Humans are an interesting species. We tend to deny that which we cannot control. Ever since we set foot on the veld we have ascribed supernatural explanations to quantifiable phenomena or just said neener neener neener and hoped it would go away. Neither method has proven effective. Astronomers and priests studied the stars not to tell you how your sex life was going to work out, but to gauge the best times for planting, finding shelter, and so on. By figuring this out they were able to create calendars so the people would have a jump on things. The oldest known calendar is about 8,000 years old. And it was, and is, accurate. All of this, however, is basic science. It helped people plan and survive. It’s since been perverted to justify or explain everything from warts to progeny. And that’s not very useful. [Read more…] about Tomorrow’s Getting Closer
Smoking and Drinking!
Once upon a time it was common for people, mostly men, to smoke in the office and have a few drinks for lunch. Foster Brooks, who neither drank nor smoked, made an entire career out of satirizing the phenomena. Good times. But, as time marched on and science bit into the fallacies being used for promotion, those habits died out. You can’t smoke within fifteen feet of most buildings, let alone inside of them, and drinking booze for brunch will get your fired quicker than you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. That’s assuming you were still sober enough to try saying supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. That’s not to say people have stopped smoking and drinking, far from, but the former is waning and the latter tends to be done more responsibly. At least in theory. [Read more…] about Smoking and Drinking!