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Archives for September 2017

Supe-A-Dee-Do-Da!

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The new ad for the popcorn is a humdinger!
At the beginning of the month I took a look at the super powered TV shows that were coming to a screen in your home. And only yours. No one but you would be able to see them. Today, thanks to Adam Chitwood over at Collider, we’ll dumpster dive into the upcoming films. One thing I’ve done is remove all vague releases. Those are ones with assigned dates but no title, no cast, or just one cast member, and could end up being anything or nothing. One example would be the untitled film starring Ben Affleck slated for November 1, 2019. That could be the Batman solo film, the Nightwing Film, or something else entirely. I should note that there are a dozen or so dates held out like that between the primary companies making super hero movies. This list doesn’t even begin to contemplate supernatural or general science fiction films, which are another lengthy list all their own.

Just to give some sort of update here, so you can stop reading emails your Uncle Elmo keeps sending to show how hep he is, the following items are true; as of this writing Wonder Woman is the highest grossing origin film ever, Spider Man: Homecoming, far from being a bust, is now the highest grossing superhero film of the year. In other words, the market’s still there and isn’t going anywhere any time soon.

Anyway, as you plow through this chronological list, keep in mind that I haven’t added trailers since we live in a finite universe and you’ll, one day, need to get back to work.

So, without further ado, away we go!

Thor: Ragnarok

Release Date: November 3, 2017

Director: Taika Waititi

Cast: Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Mark Ruffalo, Cate Blanchett, Jeff Goldblum, Tessa Thompson, Karl Urban, Idris Elba, and Anthony Hopkins.

What We Know So Far: The title most likely refers to the event from Nordic mythology in which catastrophic destruction comes to Asgard, submerging the entire world underwater and killing nearly every god. Marvel says the “Norse End of Days” is coming to the Marvel Cinematic Universe. They tapped What We Do in the Shadows director Taika Waititi to take the helm, making for a very curious hire given his background in comedy. Cate Blanchett leads the villain charge as Hela, Tessa Thompson is Valkyrie, and Karl Urban is the villainous muscle Skurge, while the MCU is about to get a lot weirder with Jeff Goldblum as Grandmaster, one of the Elders of the Universe. The tone of the film is radically different from the previous Thor movies, and Hulk has a supporting/co-starring role.

Justice League

Release Date: November 17, 2017

Directors: Zack Snyder and Joss Whedon

Cast: Henry Cavill, Ben Affleck, Ezra Miller, Gal Gadot, Jason Momoa, Ray Fisher, Amy Adams, Jeremy Irons, J.K. Simmons, Willem Dafoe, and Amber Heard.

What We Know So Far: Warner Bros.’ highly anticipated Justice League unites Affleck as Batman, and Adams as Lois Lane, along with Jason Momoa’s Aquaman, Ezra Miller’s The Flash, Gal Gadot’s Wonder Woman, and Ray Fisher’s Cyborg. The villain of Justice League is Steppenwolf, who we saw Lex Luthor summoning in a deleted scene from Batman v Superman. As evidenced by the trailers there certainly appears to be a lighter tone, and the film will broaden the DCEU so far with J.K. Simmons as the new Commissioner Gordon and Amber Heard as Aquaman character Mera. And Cavill’s Superman is in the mix here somewhere/somehow. The film also marks a curious collaboration, as Snyder left the film during post-production to tend to a personal tragedy while Joss Whedon came in to oversee the final editing and to direct reshoots.

Black Panther

Release Date: February 16, 2018

Director: Ryan Coogler

Cast: Chadwick Boseman, Lupita Nyong’o, Michael B. Jordan, Danai Gurira, Angela Bassett, Sterling K. Brown, Forest Whitaker, Andy Serkis, Martin Freeman, Letitia Wright, and John Kani.

What We Know So Far: The comics character made quite the impression with his first appearance in Captain America: Civil War, and he gets his own feature film not long after. 42 star Chadwick Boseman is filling the role of the powerful native of Wakanda, an African nation that is isolated from the rest of the world. Marvel says the crux of the film will be how this isolationist nation meets the world, so expect some friction. Selma director Ava DuVernay came close to signing on, but ultimately opted not to helm the film over concerns her artistic voice would be lost in the final product. Subsequently, Marvel hired Joe Robert Cole—who came up through the Marvel Studios writing program—to pen the script, and finally nabbed Creed and Fruitvale Station helmer Ryan Coogler to fill the director’s chair and co-write. He’s forging ahead with quite possibly the most exciting MCU film to date, and he announced his intention to fill out the cast with 90% African and African-American actors, establishing a fantastic ensemble with folks like Oscar-winner Lupita Nyong’o as Nakia, Danai Gurira as Oyoke, and his Creed and Fruitvale star Michael B. Jordan as villain Erik Killmonger.

The story of Black Panther will find T’Challa returning to his technologically advanced homeland of Wakanda after the events of Civil War, only to find himself drawn into a dangerous conflict with an old enemy.

New Mutants

Release Date: April 13, 2018

Director: Josh Boone

Cast: Anya Taylor-Joy, Maisie Williams, Alice Braga, Charlie Heaton, Blu Hunt, Henry Zaga

What We Know So Far: Writer/director Josh Boone (The Fault in Our Stars) has been attached to direct New Mutants for some time now, but 20th Century Fox has finally confirmed the film with a spring 2018 release date. The film is said to be both YA-esque and horror-tinged in tone, revolving around a group of much younger mutants in the X-Men universe than the adults from the proper X-Men movies. The story will also ditch traditional superhero costumes and supervillains in favor of telling a story about these young mutants locked up together in some facility. James McAvoy has been rumored to be reprising his role as Professor X in the film.

This will be the cinematic debut of Squirrel Girl. Click the link, learn all there is to learn about her, and get excited. She is, hands down, one of my favorite, and most fun, characters.

Avengers: Infinity War

Release Date: May 4, 2018

Directors: Joe and Anthony Russo

Cast: Everybody

What We Know So Far: Marvel is finally tackling the Infinity War storyline, and it’ll take two films to tell it. The main antagonist will be Thanos (played by Josh Brolin), although he’ll be joined by his Black Order aka the “Children of Thanos” as subvillains the Avengers heroes will have to defeat first. Indeed, the film stars nearly every single character who’s appeared in the MCU before in what’s said to be a “culmination event.” Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Captain America: Civil War directors Joe and Anthony Russo direct both Infinity War and its untitled sequel, which are being shot back-to-back. Moreover, Infinity War was shot entirely using IMAX’s brand new digital cameras. No pressure.

Deadpool 2

Release Date: June 1, 2018

Director: David Leitch

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Josh Brolin, Zazie Beets, T.J. Miller

What We Know So Far: While Deadpool director Tim Miller was originally supposed to return to helm Deadpool 2, he left the sequel in Fall 2016 over creative differences. Reynolds and 20th Century Fox subsequently set John Wick and Atomic Blonde director David Leitch to take over, but then came the long process of casting two major new roles. Domino, the female lead, went to Atlanta breakout Zazie Beets, while the casting of Cable proved as lengthy as it was complex. Names like Michael Shannon and David Harbour surfaced, and Brad Pitt at one point considered the role, but ultimately Josh Brolin is the one who signed on to play Deadpool’s favorite frenemy.

And, no, despite many fans clamoring for it, there will be no sex scene, implied or otherwise, between Deadpool and Spider Man. Not that stating this fact will even slow down the Internet, but a scribe must try.

Ant-Man and the Wasp

Release Date: July 6, 2018

Director: Peyton Reed

Cast: Paul Rudd, Evangeline Lily, Michael Douglas, Michelle Pfeiffer, Walton Goggins, Laurence Fishburne, Michael Peña, Randall Park, Judy Greer and Hannah John-Kamen

What We Know So Far: Evangeline Lily‘s Wasp will be the co-star of this film and not just the “female lead”, making this Marvel Studios’ first release in which the heroine is in the title. Plot-wise we don’t know much, but Michelle Pfeiffer is playing Janet Van Dyne, so we presume the story will at least partially revolve around heading to the Quantum Realm to rescue her. Meanwhile Walton Goggins plays the villainous Sonny Burch.

Venom

Release Date: October 5, 2018

Director: Ruben Fleischer

Cast: Tom Hardy

What We Know So Far: This Sony Pictures spinoff is intended to kick off a new loosely-connected universe of Marvel Comics adaptations, but Venom will not take place in the same universe as the Marvel Studios/Sony co-production Spider-Man: Homecoming. This is planned as an R-rated adaptation of the symbiote storyline, described as something of a twist on the horror genre, and Venom will be portrayed as an anti-hero with Carnage serving as the villain.

Yes, the symbiote can extend its appendages, yes it can be a swirling mass of death dealing whips, and, NO DAMNIT, there will be no kinky sex scenes between the symbiote and anyone. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you people? The R rating will be for violence and, maybe, a gratuitous boob like they had in Logan.

Aquaman

Release Date: December 21, 2018

Director: James Wan

Cast: Jason Momoa, Amber Heard, Patrick Wilson, Nicole Kidman, Dolph Lundgren, and Willem Dafoe

What We Know So Far: Momoa made his first appearance in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and will be part of the Justice League ensemble. Warner Bros. has enlisted Furious 7 and The Conjuring helmer James Wan to direct, and after attempting to fast-track this thing to production with multiple screenwriters writing separate drafts, Wan and DC Films head Geoff Johns convened, nailed down the story, and set Gangster Squad scribe Will Beall to pen the script. The ensemble cast includes Nicole Kidman as Queen Atlanna and Patrick Wilson as the film’s antagonist, Aquaman’s half-brother Orm.

X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Release Date: November 2, 2018

Director: Simon Kinberg

Cast: Sophie Turner, Tye Sheridan, Kodi Smit-McPhee, Alexandra Shipp, James McAvoy, Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Fassbender, Nicholas Hoult, and Evan Peters

What We Know So Far: The sequel to X-Men: Apocalypse has been firmed up as Dark Phoenix, which will tackle the beloved Jean Grey story arc from the comics that was first broached (and botched) in X-Men: The Last Stand. X-Men writer/producer Simon Kinberg has penned the script and is making his directorial debut on the project, which may also star Jessica Chastain as the villain Lilandra and is bringing back pretty much the entire main X-Men cast.

Untitled Animated Spider-Man
(Miles Morales)

Release Date: December 14, 2018

Directors: Bob Perschietti, Peter Ramsey

Cast: Shameik Moore and Liev Schrieber

What We Know So Far: Sony originated this animated Spider-Man movie with an idea by Phil Lord and Chris Miller, with Lord penning the script solo while the duo prepped their untitled Han Solo spinoff. This animated feature will kick off a new Spider-Man franchise different from the live-action one, but the kicker is that the Spider-Man of this movie is the black Miles Morales, not Peter Parker. Which means we’ll get our first non-white Spider-Man in 2018. Dope standout Shameik Moore has been set to voice Spidey, while Liev Schreiber is playing the film’s villain—although character details are under wraps. Schreiber, however, has teased that the film has a throwback tone.

A side note here, there is a cut scene in Spider Man: Homecoming which would lead a dedicated viewer to assume that Miles Morales may make an appearance in a future live action film. The character who’s supposed to be his uncle does appear in the film so we shall see what we shall see.

Captain Marvel

Release Date: March 8, 2019

Director: Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck

Cast: Brie Larson and Samuel L. Jackson

What We Know So Far: Marvel’s first female-led superhero film will revolve around the most powerful character in the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe. This iteration of Captain Marvel will focus on the character of Carol Danvers, whose adventures are earthbound but whose powers are based in the cosmic realm. Joss Whedon wanted to introduce the character at the end of Avengers: Age of Ultron, but Marvel didn’t want to bring Captain Marvel into the MCU fully formed without first telling her origin story. Meg LeFauve (Inside Out) and Nicole Perlman (Guardians of the Galaxy) are writing the screenplay, and Oscar-winning Room actress Brie Larson has been set to star. And after a lengthy director’s search, Marvel settled on Half Nelson and Mississippi Grind filmmakers Anna Boden and Ryan Fleck.

This film will be a prequel to the MCU, taking place in the 90s and bringing the comics characters the Skrulls into the mix as the villains. That could have major repercussions leading into Avengers 4, but Captain Marvel will also give us a two-eyed Nick Fury.

The fact that some leaked footage got made into a full trailer, tells you all you need to know about how much fans want this movie to get made and get made well.

Shazam!

Release Date: April 5, 2019

Director: David F. Sandberg

Cast: TBD

What We Know So Far: Making his superhero movie debut, Dwayne Johnson opted to take on the role of the villainous Black Adam in this DC comics adaptation, but Warner Bros. has now decided to hold Johnson for a separate Black Adam movie, so Shazam will be all about that hero. Lights Out and Annabelle: Creation director David F. Sandberg is directing, and this is being planned as Warner Bros.’ next DCEU film in production after Aquaman.

Spider-Man: Homecoming 2

Release Date: July 5, 2019

Director: Jon Watts

Cast: Tom Holland

What We Know So Far: Nothing, but obviously Sony and Marvel Studios plan on Spider-Man: Homecoming launching a franchise, and Sony has already slated the sequel. Bolstered by the positive response to Homecoming, director Jon Watts is returning.

There is one thing to consider, at the end of the first movie there is a scene between the Vulture (Michael Keaton) and a prisoner named Mac Gargan, who has a scorpion tattoo (yes, fans noticed this). Given that the Tinkerer, the dude who made the Vulture’s gear, is still on the loose at the end of the first film it’s not hard to see him hooking up with the prisoner to give us a new villain for the second. And, as true fans know, Scorpion is a great villain.

Wonder Woman 2

Release Date: December 13, 2019

Director: TBA

Cast: Gal Gadot

What We Know So Far: Very little, but Wonder Woman marked a major turning point for the DCEU with wildly positive reviews and massive box office, so anticipation is high. Negotiations are ongoing with Patty Jenkins to return to direct, and while rumors have swirled about a potential 1980s-set sequel revolving around the Cold War, Jenkins is said to be already working on a story treatment with Geoff Johns.

Gambit

Release Date: TBD

Director: TBD

Cast: Channing Tatum

What We Know So Far: Tatum has been keen on playing the X-Men mutant for a while now, and 20th Century Fox finally pulled the trigger on a standalone movie for the fan-favorite Cajun. Production had initially been slated to begin Fall 2015, but when it was pushed back to early 2016, director Rupert Wyatt abruptly dropped out due to personal reasons. Doug Liman (Edge of Tomorrow) subsequently signed on to direct, and while producer Simon Kinberg told us the film will be a heist picture and a “sexy thriller”, the film was pulled from its October 2016 release date and is now listed as TBD. Moreover, due to the delays, Liman has since departed to helm Warner Bros.’ Justice League Dark movie.

Educated guess here, I doubt this thing ever sees the light of day. This is the fourth iteration and it’s already kicked almost half a decade down the road. Gambit isn’t a tough character to get right so I have no idea why the girls aren’t getting the eye candy they deserve.

The Flash: Flashpoint

Release Date: TBA

Director: TBA

Cast: Ezra Miller, Ray Fisher, Kiersey Clemons, and Billy Crudup

What We Know So Far: Miller made his brief debut in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, but he’s a fully fledged star of the Justice League. After tasking Phil Lord and Chris Miller with penning a treatment only to see them head off to direct the Han Solo Star Wars film (and then leave that), the studio subsequently tapped Seth Grahame-Smith to make his directorial debut on the superhero picture. Alas, after the disappointing reception to Batman v Superman, Warner Bros. opted to change course and parted ways with Grahame-Smith, seeking to find a more established filmmaker in his stead. They settled on Dope filmmaker Rick Famuyiwa, working from Grahame-Smith’s script that was a buddy film of sorts between Flash and Cyborg. But after months of developing the project and with casting underway (Dope standout Kiersey Clemons landed the role of Iris West), Famuyiwa exited the project in late October.

This put the March 2018 release date in doubt, as it was dependent upon production getting underway in early 2017. Now, Miller is due to start filming Fantastic Beasts 2 in mid-2017, which would push production of The Flash to late 2017 or early 2018, meaning the March 2018 date is now pretty much impossible. Not to mention the fact that this movie still doesn’t have a director.

Some big names have been mentioned like Robert Zemeckis, and Warner Bros. announced at Comic-Con that this Flash movie will be an adaptation of the Flashpoint time travel comics storyline, which could give WB a way to reboot the DCEU somewhat.

Batgirl

Release Date: TBA

Director: Joss Whedon

Cast: TBA

What We Know So Far: Warner Bros. pulled Joss Whedon over from Marvel to write and direct a Batgirl movie. We don’t know much, but Whedon has said he may favor hiring an unknown or little-known actress in the lead role. But this one may be coming a bit later than intended, as Whedon is spearheading Justice League post-production through November 2017.

Given that there are numerous fan films featuring Batgirl, we are almost at the point where Warner could go and steal the plots from the uncopywritten flicks and just have at it. I should note some of them are fucking awesome.

Suicide Squad 2

Release Date: TBA

Director: TBA

Cast: TBA

What We Know So Far: David Ayer definitely isn’t coming back to direct this sequel, and Warner Bros. looked at some intriguing names for his replacement. Mel Gibson was approached towards the end of 2016, but Warner Bros. eventually moved on and currently has its eye on Jaume Collet-Serra of The Shallows and Non-Stop fame to take the helm.

Suicide Squad was a bullet train on meth. I would guess they’ll slow things down a little for this one and let us get to know the characters a touch more.

Green Lantern Corps

Release Date: TBD

Director: TBD

Cast: TBD

What We Know So Far: This will be a reboot of the Warner Bros. franchise so Ryan Reynolds is not expected to reprise his role — plus he’s also busy being Deadpool for Fox. Green Lantern is rumored to make his first appearance at the end of either Justice League Part One or Justice League Part Two when he warns the team that Darkseid is on his way to bring destruction to Earth. But the title of the reboot tells us this will be a team-up film featuring two Green Lanterns. Tyrese Gibson has been openly campaigning for one of the roles, as the film will find Hal Jordan and John Stewart in a Lethal Weapon-type situation. Warner Bros. recently kicked the tires on this one, hiring David S. Goyer (Batman Begins, Man of Steel) to co-write the script with Justin Rhodes.

No matter what I would sincerely doubt that Dex Starr, the super powered kitty version of Green Lantern, will make an appearance. Unless something goes horribly wrong.

Justice League Dark

Release Date: TBD

Director: TBD

Cast: TBD

What We Know So Far: Warner Bros. has been developing an adaptation of Justice League Dark for awhile now, with Guillermo del Toro first writing a script a few years ago before departing the project. But with the DCEU now up and running, Edge of Tomorrow and The Bourne Identity helmer Doug Liman signed on to direct in August 2016, and then left the project in May 2017. WB is already looking for a replacement and is eyeing an A-List ensemble for the pic, which focuses on the DC superheroes with more supernatural powers as opposed to the bright and shiny heroes of the Justice League proper. The protagonists of Justice League Dark aren’t exactly antiheroes either, as the comics lineup has included folks like John Constantine and Swamp Thing.

For those who’ve missed it, the cartoon version of this film just missed an R rating. Since Batman, a rationalist, makes an appearance in the cartoon it’s not out of the question to think this is the new Affleck movie that didn’t have a name.

Gotham City Sirens

Release Date: TBD

Director: David Ayer

Writer: David Ayer

Cast: Margot Robbie

What We Know So Far: Shortly after the release of Suicide Squad, Margot Robbie put in motion a female-centric spinoff film that would follow her Harley Quinn and other DC characters like Poison Ivy. This one’s still deep in development, but it’s definitely on the table.

Yes, Harley Quinn & Poison Ivy have a sexual relationship in the comics. But, I’m sorry to burst your bubble here, if you think that Warner, et al, is going to spend $100 MIL on a soft core lesbian porno you’re sadly mistaken. I don’t care how carefully they prune the shrubs.

Cyborg

Release Date: TBD

Director: TBD

Cast: Ray Fisher

What We Know So Far: Fisher was first introduced in Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and will play a role in Justice League, and while a Cyborg movie was on WB’s ambitious initial slate, the status of the project is unclear at the moment.

I would tell you to watch for this movie to get pushed up a bit if the character resonates with fans the way it does in the Justice League trailers.

In any case, this should keep you busy for a while. See you at the movies!


Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Stay up to date with his podcasts here and here.
contact Bill McCormick
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COMIX!

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What’s your family reunion like?
An odd phenomena has been occurring in the comic book industry. Revenue generated by things related to comics, movies, merchandise, etc., has been steadily climbing for the last decade. But, and this is important, revenue from actual comic books have been in a steady decline. Both Warner Brothers and Disney have had internal discussions about spinning off DC & Marvel Comics respectively. Quite a large section of the internet has been devoted to what that might, might not, mean. A subset of that has been devoted to what it will all mean to Diamond Distribution, the monopoly of comic book distribution. But a funny thing has been happening on the way to the death of all things. Indy comics have been popping up and filling some voids. Unencumbered by massive overhead and puritanical restrictions, they have been finding wider, and wider, audiences. I have written about a few of these before, and am about to do so again today, and have found a willing market. Those posts get shared, and re-shared, around the world. David Gabriel, VP of Sales for Marvel, famously said the reason for declining sales was diversity. This would be news to the creators who are out there now. From my humble offering, Legends Parallel, which is rated M for Mature and features a predominantly African-American cast, to Valiant Comics’ Faith Herbert series, about an overweight telekinetic girl, to the indy Geek Girl comic series, which has to be read to be believed, to more than I have time to mention, a whole slew of creators are setting the bar high with excellent story telling, beautiful art, and more diversity than you could shake a stick at.

So let’s get this party started.

The Couch. Written by David A. Byrne & drawn by Matt Magill

There is so much fun, and angst, to unpack here it’s thrilling. Dr. Warren J. Lee, a very white man who keeps getting confused for Korean due to his name, is a shrink in somewhere U.S.A. He has issues that make him socially dysfunctional. Lots and lots of issues. He fires his secretary, who is also his girlfriend, via email. He deals with OCD patients in a way that borders on torture, and is up to his heiney in debt. He doesn’t even know how to bill a patient. To make his life even more chaotic I should note that he lives in a universe populated with super heroes. Naturally they do not make his life better.

If you like some dark humor, an occasional psychosis, and a plot that keeps zigging when you expect a zag, then The Couch is for you. Click the link to read more and buy an issue or two,

Jelly Vampire by Ida Eva Neverdahl

Jelly Vampire follows the adventures of a young girl named Lulu. That will be the only normal fact from here on out. When she plucks her eyebrows they turn into butterflies. When she puts hand cream on her feet, her feet turn into hands. She meets a magical being who can make her life wonderful and eats it. She meets fascists. She turns into a giant worm. She becomes a princess of a candy kingdom and ends up killing, and eating, everyone there. We won’t even talk about the unicorns. That is a whole series that will send you to Mr.Lee’s couch above.

Each of the episodes of Jelly Vampire is short and free to read online. If you need a reference point just think of the Far Side on acid. I couldn’t stop smiling when I read the preview edition they sent me and I doubt that you, faithful reader, will be disappointed when you check it all out.

Brother Bones The Undead Avenger by Ron Fortier

In the mood to hearken back to the glorious days if yesteryear? Are the classic comic books of The Phantom, The Lone Ranger, and others, what’s missing from your life? If so, I have some great news for you. Brother Bones is cut from the same cloth as those classics but takes it in a whole new, and fun, direction. The hero is a former mobster turned monk, thus the “Brother” moniker, who gets whacked at a monastery and, in death, is given the chance to save his soul. So far so good. But, to make it all work he has to take over the body of his mobster brother. Oh, did I mention his mentor in death is a young woman he killed? I really should. Brother Bones is non-stop action writ large in stark, black and white, images. It’s a great read for all ages and it’s a fun series to follow.

Check out all the issues of Brother Bones if you want to make your day better.

So, there you go, three wildly different comics to enhance your cool factor. Trust me, bust these out on the bus and you’ll be hipper than the cool kids and a a lot more fun to talk to.


Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Stay up to date with his podcasts here and here.
contact Bill McCormick
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We’re Getting Better

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No one said nursing was safe.
While the Internet keeps puking up stuff that is supposed to make you healthy but will, in reality, get you killed, or, at least, not make you any better, there have been some stunning advances in the real world. Granted, they use that magic science stuff and not something cool someone once said their Aunt Sadie swore might work. If you believed and sent $100 to someone somewhere. These remedies, and I use that term incorrectly here, are only slightly less effective than praying for rainbows or sending good vibes via Twitter. Steve Jobs chased a holistic rainbow and died because of it.

Alice G. Walton, over at Forbes, sums it up.

According to Steve Jobs’ biographer, Walter Isaacson, the Apple mastermind eventually came to regret the decision he had made years earlier to reject potentially life-saving surgery in favor of alternative treatments like acupuncture, dietary supplements and juices. Though he ultimately embraced the surgery and sought out cutting-edge experimental methods, they were not enough to save him.

Jobs’ cancer had been discovered by chance during a CT scan in 2003 to look for kidney stones, during which doctors saw a “shadow” on his pancreas. Isaacson told CBS’ 60 Minutes last night that while the news was not good, the upside was that the form of pancreatic cancer from which Jobs suffered (a neuroendocrine islet tumor) was one of the 5% or so that are slow growing and most likely to be cured.

Kids, those doctor people aren’t perfect, no human is, but when faced with something like this you should get a second diagnosis, not skip to Mexico and drink magic juices. Just FYI, the cure rate for what he had, in the stage it was caught, runs around 95%. In other words, had he lived the world would probably have been spared a $1,000 i-Phone that finally is capable of mimicking an Android.

I have previously written about how science is closer to an actual cure for Alzheimer’s, worked out a method so the paralyzed can walk, and heal wounds with an easy to apply polymer that requires no special treatment. You can read about all of those by clicking the link.

And now, since you’ve been kind enough to read this far, I’m going to share some new cures that are headed to a doctor near you.

Let’s start with cancer. Lydia Ramsey, on loan to Science Alert from Business Insider, says that science has discovered a way for patients to, literally, heal themselves with a little help from a medical professional.

The US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) just approved a cutting-edge cancer therapy.

On Wednesday, the FDA approved Novartis’s Kymriah, also known as tisagenlecleucel, a treatment for pediatric acute lymphoblastic lymphoblastic leukemia.

“I think this is most exciting thing I’ve seen in my lifetime,” Dr. Tim Cripe, an oncologist who was part of the FDA advisory committee panel that voted in favour of approving the drug in July.

The highly personalised treatment is called CAR T-cell therapy. It’s a type of cancer immunotherapy — or a therapy that harnesses the body’s immune system to take on cancer cells.

“We’re entering a new frontier in medical innovation with the ability to reprogram a patient’s own cells to attack a deadly cancer,” FDA commissioner Scott Gottlieb said in a statement.

“New technologies such as gene and cell therapies hold out the potential to transform medicine and create an inflection point in our ability to treat and even cure many intractable illnesses. At the FDA, we’re committed to helping expedite the development and review of groundbreaking treatments that have the potential to be life-saving.”

Short for chimeric antigen receptor T-cell therapy, CAR-T treatment takes a person’s own cells, removes them from the body, re-engineers them, and then puts the cells back in the body where they can attack cancer cells.

Novartis’ therapy is one of two cutting-edge treatments for blood cancers are poised to get approved by the end of the year.

The FDA is also expected to make a decision about another CAR-T treatment from Kite Pharma, which just got acquired by Gilead Sciences. That’s for Kite’s CAR-T treatment for aggressive B-cell non-Hodgkin lymphoma (more general than DLBCL).

In data Kite released in February, the company found that out of the 101 patients, 36 percent had a complete response to the treatment after six months.

It’s a type of cancer that Novartis wants to get approval for in the future.

In June, Novartis released data from its Phase 2 trial of CTL019 in patients with diffuse large B-cell lymphoma (DLBCL for short), an aggressive form of lymphoma that’s one of the two types Kite’s data looks at. The trial found that of the 51 patients with DLBCL, 23 had either a complete response (meaning cancer had disappeared completely) or a partial response (meaning their tumour displayed signs that it was shrinking).

Back in June of 2015 I wrote about how scientists were using stem cells to speed the healing of damaged bone tissue. For example, the kind of damage people suffer when they go through chemo, have muscular dystrophy, have been in a severe accident, and so on. That treatment, which works and is getting more advanced, basically grinds up the bones of random dead people, extracts the varied stem cells, and slams the resulting genetic slurree into a patient via a needle.

Scientists have long known that stem cells are key to human life and healing. Now they are figuring out how to make that knowledge work for you. And those you love.

Right now the treatments listed above for cancer cure run about $300,000 a pop. Everyone is well aware that’s not feasible for the average patient. But, if it can be mass produced, the treatment – not your stem cells, that will bring down the price. They are also looking to the government for subsidies. I’ll keep you posted on that.

One side note, while this is prohibitively expensive, the costs for current drugs can run around $10,000 a month, and some therapies can run upwards of $30,000 per month, not including the additional expenses for the care of the patient. Wiser minds than mine might see the new treatment as cost effective when everything is factored in.

Another thing stem cell treatment has been lauded for is its ability to repair permanently damaged cells. Well, in theory at least. Now, its a fact.

I’ll let Meg Aldrich, over at USC News, tell the story since she does a better job at it than I could.

On March 6, just shy of his 21st birthday, Kristopher (Kris) Boesen of Bakersfield suffered a traumatic injury to his cervical spine when his car fishtailed on a wet road, hit a tree and slammed into a telephone pole.

His parents were warned there was a good chance their son would be permanently paralyzed from the neck down. However, they also learned that he could possibly qualify for a clinical study that might help.

Enter Keck Medical Center of USC, which announced that a team of doctors became the first in California to inject its patient with an experimental treatment made from stem cells as part of a multi-center clinical trial.

Charles Liu, director of the USC Neurorestoration Center, led the surgical team, working in collaboration with the Rancho Los Amigos National Rehabilitation Center and Keck Medicine of USC, that injected an experimental dose of 10 million AST-OPC1 cells directly into Boesen’s cervical spinal cord in early April.

“Typically, spinal cord injury patients undergo surgery that stabilizes the spine but generally does very little to restore motor or sensory function,” Liu explained. “With this study, we are testing a procedure that may improve neurological function, which could mean the difference between being permanently paralyzed and being able to use one’s arms and hands. Restoring that level of function could significantly improve the daily lives of patients with severe spinal injuries.”

Two weeks after surgery, Boesen began to show signs of improvement. Three months later, he’s able to feed himself, use his cellphone, write his name, operate a motorized wheelchair and hug his friends and family. Improved sensation and movement in both arms and hands also makes it easier for him to care for himself, and to envision a life lived more independently.

“As of 90 days post-treatment, Kris has gained significant improvement in his motor function, up to two spinal cord levels,” Liu said. “In Kris’ case, two spinal cord levels mean the difference between using your hands to brush your teeth, operate a computer or do other things you wouldn’t otherwise be able to do, so having this level of functional independence cannot be overstated.”

Doctors are careful not to predict Boesen’s future progress.

“All I’ve wanted from the beginning was a fighting chance,” said Boesen, who has a passion for repairing and driving sports cars and was studying to become a life insurance broker at the time of the accident. “But if there’s a chance for me to walk again, then heck yeah! I want to do anything possible to do that.”

There is a lot more to that article and I hope you’ll take the time to click the link and read it all. In the meantime, if you, or someone you know, is interested in partaking in the treatment, here is the info:

To qualify for the clinical trial, enrollees must be between the age of 18 and 69, and their condition must be stable enough to receive an injection of AST-OPC1 between the 14th and 30th days following injury.

Keck Medical Center is one of six sites in the United States that is authorized to enroll subjects and administer the clinical trial dosage.

Just click the Keck Medical Center link to get in touch with them. They will help you find the treatment center closest to you.


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And Yet They Breed

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You have been warned.
A long time ago, on an internet far, far, away, I used to write about stupid criminals in Florida. It was an endless source of material. But, finally, it began to feel like I was clutching low hanging fruit. After all, all I needed to do was punch naked + meth + crime into Google and I’d be deluged with Floridians, and Arizonians, behaving badly. Often at Walmarts. I never understood the fascination, but that could just be me. Maybe getting naked in a Walmart is a fun way to kill an afternoon. God knows I have been naked inappropriately in my life. Not in a chain store, but still not smiled upon. Nevertheless, I stopped. Besides, there were far more interesting topics to handle. I used my new found free time to write about basic science, robot overlords, eugenics, evolution, comics, superheroes, new artists from around the world, and a much broader spectrum of topics. Plus, there are now well funded sites dedicated to stupid criminals in Florida. So why bother competing? I certainly had better things to do. I even did some of them.

But every now and then, the clarion call of HomoIdiotus beckons. It’s keening wail echoing across the virgin plains of social order. While I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or not, their ilk seems to be spreading. These are just some highlights from the last two weeks.

This headline, Thieves steal U-Haul containing father-in-law’s body, tells you all you need to know about this story. What makes this story rock are the auto-generated related items at the bottom.

Related UPI Stories

The good news is the Albuquerque cops recovered the U-Haul and the body so it’s on its way to a proper internment. The bad news is the crooks are still at large. Just FYI, while these things come in threes normally, they seem to be multiplying like rabbits in New Mexico.

In order on the rest:

1. Driver arrested with sixty-seven pounds of pot.
2. The kid is a goofball, but harmless.
3. This is the third time this has happened globally in the last month or so. All the thieves have been apprehended. I have no idea why this is a thing.
4. The drivers were on a scheduled stop to eat a burger. No charges were filed.

Another self explained headline comes from Vermont; Williston police seek panda-costume wearing theft suspect. The fan of Ailuropoda Melanoleuca is still among us and carrying a stolen air rifle. I wouldn’t want to explain this to kids. How do you warn them what to watch out for here?

Don’t worry, I didn’t forget Florida.

Florida woman crashes into witness who reported her drunk driving.

Chelsea Todaro, at the Palm Beach Post, fills in the blanks.

Florida Highway Patrol troopers arrested a woman Sunday in Fort Myers, Florida, after she crashed into a witness who called 911 to report her reckless driving.

WFTX reported that Brittany Sharp, 25, faces charges of driving under the influence, driving under the influence causing property damage, driving with a suspended license, driving without insurance, and careless driving.

FHP troopers said a female witness called to report that Sharp was driving erratically on the road around 2 p.m.

WBBH reported that Suzzette Williams, Angelina Powell, and another female passenger followed Sharp for nine minutes, filming Sharp’s vehicle as they broadcasted on Facebook Live.

One clip shows Sharp’s vehicle barely miss others as it crashed into a bridge wall on the highway.

According to News-Press, a witness said that she pulled her car in front of Sharp when Sharp made a complete stop in the center lane. Sharp then drove her car into the back of the witness’s vehicle, News-Press reports.

Officials took Sharp to the hospital for minor injuries. She remains at the Lee County Jail with no bond set.

Jail records show that Sharp was arrested twice this year on charges of larceny and dealing in stolen property, according to News-Press.

So, to recap, the nice ladies mentioned here followed a drunk driver, in the middle of the afternoon, for almost ten minutes before anyone arrived to arrest her. There is a reason for that. Fort Meyers has one of the highest, per capita, crimes rates in the country. Combined with paltry sums available for social infrastructure, like police, you’re going to be on hold a lot down there after you call 911.

Fortunately this ended with no fatalities.

Now, your job may suck, but it doesn’t suck as much as this dude’s at the Marion County Jail’s does. We’ll finish off this cavalcade of dumb with one more stop in Florida.

Florida man stuffs more than $1,000 in rectum in attempt to hide it from deputies

Early morning on Saturday, Pattreon Stokes, 26, was pulled over on the highway for speeding. In the front passenger seat of the car was a 7-month-old child.

The deputy who pulled Stokes over said that he could smell marijuana coming from inside the vehicle. After searching the vehicle, deputies found 197 grams of methamphetamine, rock cocaine and 4 grams of heroin. A scale was also found in the car.

Stokes also had a small amount of marijuana and a large amount of money on his person.

Stokes was charged with trafficking methamphetamine, trafficking heroin, possession of cocaine with the intent to sell, manufacture or deliver, possession of marijuana and possession of drug equipment. He was arrested and taken to the Marion County Jail.

Officials say that when they arrived at the jail, the money Stokes had on him appeared to be missing. Stokes said that deputies had already collected the money.

“Detention deputies then noticed something quite unusual…” Marion County Sheriff’s Office posted on their Facebook page. Deputies observed $20 bills falling from Stokes’ buttocks area.

After a “necessary but undesirable process for everyone involved,” MCSO detention deputies located $1,090 in U.S. currency hidden in Stokes’ rectum.

“(A) necessary but undesirable process for everyone involved” may be the greatest understatement I’ve heard in years.

Since those bills had to be cleaned before they were bagged and tagged, this may be the first time the phrase “laundering money” had a legal basis. I hope they wore rubber gloves.

And haz-mat suits.

BTW, if you’re over fifty, the video below will ruin your childhood. If you’re younger it will make your day. Either way, it has naughty words and guns, and you can sing along with it.


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Never More?

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Not this Raven you idiot!
I’ve written before about how some of our simian cousins have entered the Stone Age. Simply put they are using stone tools and planning for events that haven’t happened. Those are definable signs of sapience. I have also noted that octopuses, those yummy tasty octopuses laden in garlic and butter, are also developing along the same lines. Before they meet the garlic and butter, natch. The point is that life is not some stagnant thing. It wasn’t plopped here to never grow. On the one hand life adapts to its surroundings. People who live in the mountainous regions of Peru have larger lungs than the rest of us simply due to the thin air. No large lungs equals no breathing. At least not easily. Polar bears have different furs than grizzlies simply due to environment. I could go on, and on and on and on …., but you get the idea.

On the other hand, life develops intelligence if it’s faced with obstacles that basic cunning can’t overcome. For humans that was finding food in the veld. They had to learn to hunt and cook if they were to survive. Other proto-humans learned those skills as well. Then our ancestors hunted, and killed, them. They may have eaten them too. Either way, they eliminated the competition.

That last sentence is the one you need to remember.

Sarah Chodosh, over at Popular Science, notes that ravens are joining the party and moving up the evolutionary ladder.

Ravens can solve puzzles, trick other animals into helping them out, and communicate with each other at a level even apes can’t match. And now we know they can hatch plans. These aren’t dastardly plans to overthrow humans in a battle for control of the Earth (we hope)—they’re plans to get better food for themselves. It’s like the marshmallow test—more on that in a minute—but for birds that have more self control than most children.

This latest revelation comes courtesy of two cognitive scientists at Lund University in Sweden who literally put ravens to test. They published their findings on Friday in the journal Science. Up until now, we knew that ravens had some ability to plan ahead for their own food needs because they hide caches of food to dig up later. Then again, squirrels store food in the ground for later and they’re, well, not the smartest. They forget about 75 percent of their nuts, planting millions of trees in the process. They’re accidental environmentalists. And if moronic squirrels can be biologically programmed to cache food for later, maybe ravens aren’t as smart as we thought.

Except obviously they are.

Ravens, as it turns out, will often choose to forgo a tasty morsel now in favor of getting access to a better treat later. Faced with a food tidbit and a tool that they know can open a box containing more tempting food, they will generally choose the tool—even if they don’t have the box yet. They’ve learned that when researchers present them with the box in 15 minute’s time, they can use that tool to unlock their prize. That’s forethought right there. Even small children often choose to eat one marshmallow immediately rather than wait a few minutes for more marshmallows, and all that experiment makes the participants do is sit there being cute.

This shouldn’t come as such a shock. Ravens also steal from each other by watching competitors hide food, noting the location, and returning later to dig up their spoils. And because they get stolen from, some ravens will actually pretend to hide food to throw thieves off the scent. What’s more, they can tell other ravens where to find a juicy, rotting carcass and team up to scare off their competitors. That ability—to communicate information about a distant location—is shared only by ants, bees, and humans. Note that great apes and monkeys are not on that list. Plus, ravens can apparently deceive one another if it means keeping a food source a secret. They can also call wolves over to a carcass that hasn’t broken down enough yet so that the canines can rip it apart, leaving more convenient scraps for the birds to scarf down.

If all that doesn’t make you love and embrace our raven overlords, nothing will. These birds are geniuses in their own right—so what if their look is a little goth? Their intelligence isn’t to be feared, it’s to be revered. Ravens for President 2020.

Okay, so super smart birds that can plan, like some horror movie creatures shambling into your home in the dark, may not make you happy. But, as I noted above, it’s only when faced with direct competition that one species wipes out another.

Humans, ravens, and octopuses, have very few areas where they need the same resources. They could, much like the creatures in David Brin’s Uplift series, be brought up the evolutionary ladder to be our partners. To be a boon rather than a bane. In other words, the exact opposite of what happens when I write about it.

The simians, however, might be a different issue. They are similar enough to us that they may, at some point, want what we have. And history has shown us that rarely goes well for someone.

All that said, none of this is a concern for today. In fact it may all be moot. according to David Wallace-Wells global warming could make Earth uninhabitable in before 2100 AD. In other words, if he’s right, your teenage kids will live just long enough to see the end of the world.

There’s your happy thought for today.


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