Squanto Was a Dick & Other Holiday Faves

Everyone has their holiday traditions. Eating black eyed peas for New Year’s. Going to a Sadie Hawkins’ dance for Valentine’s Day. Getting hammered to honor an aesthetic patron saint. Wallowing in pagan fertility rituals to commemorate the resurrection of Christ. Using high explosives to celebrate our peaceful freedoms. Dressing up as sex starved maniacs who just escaped from a cave to revere our dead ancestors and, of course, memorializing the birth of a man dedicated to poverty and peace by spending spending fucking obscene amounts of money and fighting like…

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