Batshit? Meet Crazy!

Let the holy spankings commence!
Let the holy spankings commence!
There are people walking among us who believe in Bigfoot, UFOs (as alien visitors and not just something unidentified), chemtrails (because condensation trails make too much sense), President Obama is a Kenyan Muslim, or worse, follow the teachings of the Food Babe (a complete sociopath who has the I.Q. of a stone) and on and on. Little things like facts or logic don’t dissuade them. When reality conflicts with their perverted views, they deny reality. It’s that simple.

Now here’s the sad part; they’re the reasonable ones.

Paul Poisu has a great list of the new ones that will baffle you but I’m just going to highlight my faves. Make sure to click his link for even more bafflement.

The first, Kurt Cobain is still kicking.

According to this particularly inspired theory making the rounds, the bespectacled frontman of the alt-rock group Weezer is indeed Kurt Cobain in disguise, because the first thing a famous rock star who is clinically depressed does after freeing himself from the shackles of celebrity is to start the whole rise-to-fame process all over again. Still, you can kind of see some suspicious similarities in the men’s careers, if you squint while ingesting twice the human body’s limit of LSD. Weezer’s career-making Blue Album came out shortly after Cobain’s death. They both have reservations about fame, their guitar sound is somewhat similar, they’re roughly the same age, and, of course, they kind of resemble each other.

Well, not really, and once you get past the “holy shit, that’s kind of weird” aspect of those other facts, you quickly realize that there’s absolutely no freaking way this can be true. Cuomo didn’t just appear overnight — we have childhood pictures and shit, and Weezer has been around since 1992. Also, Cuomo confesses to being Nirvana’s biggest fan, which would be an unlikely statement from Cobain, a man who openly resented the band’s fame and mainstream status to the point where he contemplated joining freaking Hole.

The level of stupid there is so intense it could melt steel. But, wait, there’s more!

Bob Marley died because the CIA poisoned his shoes.

Really.

Here’s how the theory goes: Allegedly, the politically active singer might have ended up on the CIA’s shit list. So one day, a mysterious white man came to see Marley, bringing him the gift of shoes. Marley promptly tried them on and described their fit thusly: “Ouch!” This is because one of the shoes had a small metal spike in the toe. Then, a mere five months later, Marley was playing soccer when someone stepped on that very same toe. Then, the toe cancer thing, and a few active years later, a sad and untimely death. Damn, CIA, someone must have gotten an effectiveness bonus.

Look, no one is saying the CIA never tried to assassinate anyone via ridiculous means. Shit, just everything they threw at Fidel Castro earned them a permanent Customer Of The Year discount at ACME, much to the chagrin of Wile E. Coyote. However, if they were so damn keen on killing Marley, why would they have bothered to off him in a way that literally took years — and enabled him to perform and function normally for the vast majority of said years? Also, people, are we really doing the “government deliberately gives cancer to people who annoy it” thing again?

Since he did such a great job of pointing out the obvious I’ll just continue merrily along.

There’s a web site called Hard Dawn that I check in on from time to time. Mostly if I need a laugh. They travel in the usual forms of paranoia unburdened by objective verities.

Are Militant Atheists Using Chemtrails to Poison the Angels in Heaven? is an actual article.

But every now and then they ramp up the crazy to a level that truly inspires awe.

Try this on for size; Did Leonard Nimoy Fake His Own Death So He Could Seize Control of the Illuminati?

I wonder why I bother writing fiction.

Okay, let’s dumpster dive into this bad boy.

In the heady days immediately following the Gulf of Tonkin incident, Leonard Nimoy made a profound decision. It was 1964 and America was being torn apart. Ethnic minorities were rioting, the hippie movement had grown into a domestic terrorism threat and a newly-installed President Johnson was on the verge of committing troops to an all-out war in Southeast Asia. In the midst of all that turmoil, Nimoy made the crucial decision to enlist.

No, the 33-year old actor had not joined our military forces fighting against communism in Vietnam. Instead, he had enlisted in a far older, far more momentous battle, one being waged for the very future of the human race. He had decided to join the cast of the new science fiction television series, Star Trek, and in doing so, finally accepted his destiny as a foot soldier for the Illuminati agenda.

It was the culmination of decades of training, and the beginning of a 50-year rise up the dark pyramid of global power.

Ignoring, for a moment, the complete lack of verifiable facts in that mess, how many decades could a 33 year old person have dedicated to “training?” Unless he had familial ties already.

Of course he did. It’s just that the story you know about him being the child of Jewish immigrants was a lie.

Of course it was.

However, the most fascinating counterpoint to Nimoy’s manufactured backstory is the theory that he may have been the secret love child of playboy Maurice de Rothschild and Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia. Smuggled to America at an early age, he was entrusted to a nondescript family in suburban Boston, then a safe haven of New Deal liberalism despite the ravages of the Great Depression. His lineage was crucial, as we shall see, for it bound the child to the two great dynasties of hidden rule — the Romanovs and the Rothschilds. It was also a dangerous bloodline to possess, as the treachery of both families knows no bounds.

As a Rothschild, young Leonard was naturally raised as a Jew and even as a teenager, he betrayed all the trigonometric and sensual qualities of that exotic race.

Nimoy does bear a slight resemblance to Grand Duchess Anastasia Nikolaevna. As does anyone of eastern European decent. Large noses don’t make a solid genetic link. Hell I have one and no one thinks I’m the spawn of a Grand Duchess.

So to what end is Nimoy being trained? Read on.

Nimoy spent the ensuing years in Hollywood, exploring a carefully curated series of acting roles meant to educate him in the themes of futurism and power. When Gene Roddenberry, a 33rd degree Scottish Rite Freemason with his own ties to military intelligence, became Nimoy’s handler in the 1960s, the actor fully embraced his fated position in the New World Order disinformation machine.

Star Trek is what analysts would describe as predictive programming, i.e. a subtle way of seeding the media with clues about future events. It makes the public far more apathetic towards dangerous change. In the case of Trek, the show introduced the concept of a United Nations-style government having complete control over a multicultural society that lacked private property, elections or even genetically proper family units. Instead, we are shown a soulless empire where interspecies sexual relations are the norm and faith is derided as archaic. This is, in essence, just how the Bible describes the beginning of the End Times.

By the way, the sites that claim that Roddenberry was a 33rd degree Scottish Rite Freemason are so childishly written and so poorly researched as to be laughable. And they would be if fools didn’t actually believe this shit.

The article goes on to link Spock to Jay-Z & Beyonce because …. fuck you, that’s why.

All right, let’s cut to the chase. How did he fake his death and how does an 83 year old man plan on running a multinational terrorist organization?

With the stunning power of Hollywood and the NSA critical informational infrastructure behind him, Leonard Nimoy was likely no longer content to play foot soldier in the Illuminati army. When one studies his astrological divinations, it seems predicted that he would rise to challenge the old guard, the European leadership of bankers and kings. One could point to the death of Lou Reed or the sudden success of chemtrails as indicators that the Illuminati was suffering internal conflict as America became a new center of geopolitical strength.

Yet how could such a high-profile figure like Leonard Nimoy seize control of the Illuminati without the paparazzi catching wind of it all? Faking his own death seems almost predictable when one considers the options. It elevates the man to a mythical status, while subverting the genuine threat he poses to the future of our freedom. It would also be illogical not to assume that elites like Nimoy have access to medical treatments far beyond the comprehension of everyday citizens. Wouldn’t an Illuminati insider take advantage of these resources, if he was even ill in the first place?

In fact, wouldn’t it be safer to assume that Nimoy’s ties to the dark underworld of Satanism are far more likely to provide him with a lifespan beyond a normal human? It should come as no surprise that this is the very notion predicted and programmed into the Star Trek movie franchise. And yet even that theory might be a false flag, a cover up of Leonard Nimoy’s true reptilian nature, which would afford him a far longer lifespan, as so blatantly foretold in his famous catchphrase, “Live long and prosper!

Yes, Lou Reed died because of chemtrails and, no, he didn’t actually present one plausible theory as to how Nimoy did it, just that he must have. But you knew all that already didn’t you?

Now, as to the whole reptile thing. That is a common conspiracy trope. In Paul’s story linked above reptiles are blamed for the death of Princess Diana. A guy named David Icke posited that there was this group called the Babylonian Brotherhood (featuring George W. Bush & Boxcar Willie) that. were actually reptiles wrapped in human skin. He has written numerous books on the subject. They are masterpieces of assumptions.

I’ll help you out a little here. Let’s say I tell you that blue is not really the color blue but is, in fact, yellow. And that I am Curious Yellow was the name of a (very bad) porno, and that Yellow Journalism is what was practiced by William Randolph Hearst and that yellow was, and is, the color of mustard gas then you can plainly see that Yellow is what “they” will use to poison your mind and soul with sensationalistic porn.

Unfortunately, blue is still blue and no amount of personal assertions by me will change that.

As to the Kabbalistic assertion above it is patently false. The “Live Long and Prosper” gesture is based on the priestly blessing performed by Jewish Kohanim with both hands, thumb to thumb in this same position, representing the Hebrew letter Shin (ש), which has three upward strokes similar to the position of the thumb and fingers in the salute.

Kohanim is a Jewish word defining a priest of any religion. What few hand signs that are used in Kabbala come from Jewish tradition. If you want to know more about Jewish mysticism check out The Origins of Kabballah by Allan Arkush & Gershom G. Scholem.

What’s truly dangerous about shit like this is that it encourages people to ignore reality and, instead, act on that same reality in a subversive and, occasionally, violent manner. Hard Dawn is a site that advocates violence (i.e., liberating others) and they are not alone.

Kids, the truth really is out there, it’s just not anywhere near this crap.

Low Class Conspiracy from Tallulah on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Visit us on Rebel Mouse for even more fun!
contact Bill McCormick
Your Ad Can Be Here Now!

Related posts