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You are here: Home / 2014 / Archives for December 2014

Archives for December 2014

Happy New Year!

December 31, 2014 by

From all of us to all of you ....
From all of us to all of you ….
Since we have people from all over the world who seem to drop by here from time to time, I’m not taking any chances. And we don’t want you to take any chances. If you’re going to drink, don’t drive. Not even around the parking lot. You see, while we have never met we have grown close in a way only the internet allows and we’d miss you ever so much, as Shirley Temple used to say, were you to end up dead or something like that.

Also you should keep in mind that, outside of some very weird TV shows and movies, dead people don’t get laid. That alone should give you a reason to live. If that doesn’t work, then stick around long enough to buy me a drink. I may as well get something out of you freeloading around here.

Happy New Year!

in brown: phonetical transcription

AFRIKAANS gelukkige nuwejaar / voorspoedige nuwejaar
AKPOSSO ilufio ètussé
ALBANIAN Gëzuar vitin e ri
ALSATIAN e glëckliches nëies / güets nëies johr
ARABIC عام سعيد (aam saiid) / sana saiida
ARMENIAN shnorhavor nor tari
ATIKAMEKW amokitanone
AZERI yeni iliniz mübarək
BAMBARA aw ni san’kura / bonne année
BASAA mbuee
BASQUE urte berri on
BELARUSIAN З новым годам (Z novym hodam)
BENGALI subho nababarsho
BERBER asgwas amegas / aseggas ighudan
BETI mbembe mbu
BHOJPURI nauka sal mubarak hoe
BOBO bonne année
BOSNIAN sretna nova godina
BRETON bloavezh mat / bloavez mad
BULGARIAN честита нова година (chestita nova godina)
BURMESE hnit thit ku mingalar pa
CANTONESE sun lin fi lok / kung hé fat tsoi
CATALAN bon any nou
CHINESE (MANDARIN) 新年快乐 (xin nian kuai le) / 新年好 (xin nian hao)
CORNISH bledhen nowedh da
CORSICAN pace è salute
CROATIAN sretna nova godina
CZECH šťastný nový rok
DANISH godt nytår
DARI sale naw tabrik
DUALA mbu mwa bwam
DUTCH gelukkig nieuwjaar
ENGLISH happy new year
ESPERANTO feliĉan novan jaron
ESTONIAN head uut aastat
EWE eƒé bé dzogbenyui nami
EWONDO mbembe mbu
FANG bamba mbou
FAROESE gott nýggjár
FILIPINO manigong bagong taon
FINNISH onnellista uutta vuotta
FLEMISH gelukkig nieuwjaar
FON coudo we yoyo
FRENCH bonne année
FRISIAN lokkich neijier
FRIULAN bon an
FULA dioul mo wouri
GALICIAN feliz ano novo
GEORGIAN გილოცავთ ახალ წელს (gilocavt akhal tsels)
GERMAN Frohes neues Jahr / prosit Neujahr
GREEK Καλή Χρονιά (kali chronia / kali xronia) / Ευτυχισμένος ο Καινούριος Χρόνος (eutichismenos o kainourgios chronos)
GUJARATI sal mubarak / nootan varshabhinandan
GUARANÍ rogüerohory año nuévo-re
HAITIAN CREOLE bònn ané
HAOUSSA barka da sabuwar shekara
HAWAIIAN hauoli makahiki hou
HEBREW שנה טובה (shana tova)
HERERO ombura ombe ombua
HINDI nav varsh ki subhkamna
HMONG nyob zoo xyoo tshiab
HUNGARIAN boldog új évet
ICELANDIC gleðilegt nýtt ár
IGBO obi anuri nke afor ohuru
INDONESIAN selamat tahun baru
INUKTITUT (NUNAVIMMIUTITUT) ᐅᑭᐅᒥ ᓄᑖᒥ ᖁᕕᐊᓱᒋᑦ (ukiumi nutaami quviasugit) – to 1 person
ᐅᑭᐅᒥ ᓄᑖᒥ ᖁᕕᐊᓱᒋᑦᓯ (ukiumi nutaami quviasugitsi) – to several persons
IRISH GAELIC ath bhliain faoi mhaise
ITALIAN felice anno nuovo / buon anno
JAVANESE sugeng warsa enggal
JAPANESE あけまして おめでとう ございます (akemashite omedetô gozaimasu)
KABYLIAN aseggas ameggaz
KANNADA ಹೊಸ ವರ್ಷದ ಹಾರ್ಧಿಕ ಶುಭಾಶಯಗಳು (hosa varshada hardika shubhashayagalu)
KASHMIRI nav reh mubarakh
KAZAKH zhana zhiliniz kutti bolsin
KHMER sur sdei chhnam thmei
KIEMBU ngethi cya mwaka mweru
KINYARWANDA umwaka mwiza
KIRUNDI umwaka mwiza
KYRGYZ ЖАӉЫ ЖЫЛЫӉЫЗДАР МЕНЕН (zhany zhylynyzdar menen)
KOREAN 새해 복 많이 받으세요 (seh heh bok mani bat uh seyo)
KURDE sala we ya nû pîroz be
KWANGALI mvhura zompe zongwa
LAO sabai di pi mai
LATIN felix sit annus novus
LATVIAN laimīgu Jauno gadu
LIGURIAN bón ànno nêuvo
LINGALA bonana / mbúla ya sika elámu na tombelí yɔ̌
LITHUANIAN laimingų Naujųjų Metų
LOW SAXON gelükkig nyjaar
LUGANDA omwaka omulungi
LUXEMBOURGEOIS e gudd neit Joër
MACEDONIAN Среќна Нова Година (srekna nova godina)
MALAGASY arahaba tratry ny taona
MALAY selamat tahun baru
MALAYALAM nava varsha ashamshagal
MALTESE is-sena t-tajba
MANGAREVAN kia porotu te ano ou
MAORI kia hari te tau hou
MARATHI navin varshaachya hardik shubbheccha
MARQUISIAN kaoha nui tenei ehua hou
MOHAWK ose:rase
MONGOLIAN Шинэ жилийн баярын мэнд хvргэе (shine jiliin bayariin mend hurgeye)
MORÉ wênd na kô-d yuum-songo
NDEBELE umyaka omucha omuhle
NEPALI naya barsha ko subhakamana
NGOMBALE ngeu’ shwi pong mbeo paghe
NORMAN boune anna / jostouse anna
NORWEGIAN godt nyttår
OCCITAN bon annada
ORIYA subha nababarsa / naba barsara hardika abhinandan
OURDOU naya sar Mubarak
PALAUAN ungil beches er rak
PAPIAMENTU bon anja / felis anja nobo
PASHTO nawe kaalmo mobarak sha
PERSIAN سال نو مبارک (sâle no mobârak)
POLISH szczęśliwego nowego roku
PORTUGUESE feliz ano novo
PUNJABI ਨਵੇਂ ਸਾਲ ਦੀਆਂ ਵਧਾਈਆਂ (nave saal deeyan vadhaiyaan)
ROMANCHE bun di bun onn
ROMANI baxtalo nevo bersh
ROMANIAN un an nou fericit / la mulţi ani
RUSSIAN С Новым Годом (S novim godom)
SAMOAN ia manuia le tausaga fou
SAMI buorre ådåjahke
SANGO nzoni fini ngou
SARDINIAN bonu annu nou
SCOTTISH GAELIC bliadhna mhath ur
SERBIAN Срећна Нова година (Srećna Nova godina)
SHIMAORE mwaha mwema
SHONA goredzva rakanaka
SINDHI nain saal joon wadhayoon
SINHALESE ශුභ අළුත් අවුරුද්දක් වේවා (shubha aluth awuruddak weiwa)
SIOUX LAKOTA omaka t’etcha kin washte kte ni / omaka tetcha oi’yokipi
SLOVAK šťastný nový rok
SLOVENIAN srečno novo leto
SOBOTA dobir leto
SOMALI sanad wanagsan
SPANISH feliz año nuevo
SRANAN wan bun nyun yari
SWAHILI mwaka mzuri / heri ya mwaka mpya
SWEDISH gott nytt år
SWISS-GERMAN es guets Nöis
TAGALOG manigong bagong taon
TAHITIAN ia orana i te matahiti api
TAMAZIGHT assugas amegaz
TAMIL இனிய புத்தாண்டு நல்வாழ்த்துக்கள் (iniya puthandu nal Vazhthukkal)
TATAR yaña yıl belän
TELUGU నూతన సంవత్శర శుభాకాంక్షలు (nuthana samvathsara subhakankshalu)
THAI สวัสดีปีใหม่ (sawatdii pimaï)
TIBETAN tashi delek / losar tashi delek
TIGRE sanat farah wa khare
TSHILUBA tshidimu tshilenga
TSWANA itumelele ngwaga o mosha
TULU posa varshada shubashaya
TURKISH yeni yılınız kutlu olsun
TWENTS gluk in’n tuk
UDMURT Vyľ Aren
UKRAINIAN Щасливого Нового Року / З Новим роком (z novym rokom)
URDU naya sal mubarak
UZBEK yangi yilingiz qutlug’ bo’lsin
VIETNAMESE Chúc Mừng Nǎm Mới / Cung Chúc Tân Niên / Cung Chúc Tân Xuân
WALOON ene boune anéye, ene boune sintéye
WALOON (“betchfessîs” spelling) bone annéye / bone annéye èt bone santéye
WELSH blwyddyn newydd dda
WEST INDIAN CREOLE bon lanné
WOLOF dewenati
XHOSA nyak’omtsha
YIDDISH אַ גוט יאָר (a gut yohr / a guit your / a guit youai)
YORUBA eku odun / eku odun tun tun / eku iyedun
ZERMA barka’n da djiri tagio
ZULU unyaka omusha omuhle

Happy New Year, Love Pesky (NSFW)

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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The History of St. Nick & Other Stuff

December 25, 2014 by

Merry Christmas
One for da ladies. And, just for the holidays, we can pretend that they’re all straight. We can also pretend I’m the third one from the left.
It’s very weird getting asked if I can “reprint” something that only exists digitally. But, what the foschnizzle, it’s Christmas so here you go.

****************************

I received a lovely email yesterday from a regular reader. She said some very nice things about me and life in general and then got to the point. The point was that, as informative as this week’s articles have been about the holidays, I was “depressing the (expletive deleted) out of (her).” I guess I can see that. The history of Christmas is one of political compromise, violence and drunken debauchery. Not exactly the first thoughts that spring to mind when you think about ways to celebrate the birth of the Son of God. More likely a way to celebrate a frat party in honor of Biff’s trust fund. But it is what it is. Denying history doesn’t make it suddenly disappear, despite what you may hear from some recent political pundits. Nevertheless, she’s right. There are many aspects of the holiday that are cause for smiles. Honest ones too, not just the rueful ones I usually inspire.

We’ll start with some useless trivia.

Where did the Candy Cane come from? In a small Indiana town, there was a candymaker who wanted to spread the name of Jesus around the world. He invented the Christmas Candy Cane, incorporating symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy to symbolize the Virgin Birth. The candymaker formed the stick into a “J” to represent the name of Jesus. It can also represent the staff of the “Good Shepherd.” He thought the candy was too plain so he stained it with a red stripe to symbolize the blood shed by Christ on the cross.

Christmas Games – Weird Ones
Shoe the Wild Mare
Shoeing the Wild Mare is a traditional Christmas game that goes back to at least the early 17th century.

Get a narrow(a few inches wide), strong wooden beam and suspend it from the roof with two even length ropes. The beam is the ‘mare’ of the title and should be level yet high enough above the floor so that a player’s feet are off-ground. A player ‘the farrier’ then sits on the ‘mare’ in the centre, a leg either side. This player has a hammer and has to give the underside of the beam “four time eight blows” at a designated spot. If he falls off, it is someone else’s turn.

Much hilarity, and the odd broken shoulder ensues. (Odd broken shoulders????)

Snapdragons
Apparently this is the best game ever to play on Christmas Eve. Make sure you have the fire department on speed dial though.

Very popular from the 16th to the 19th centuries, Snapdragons (or Flapdragons) has explicably declined in popularity.

Gather everyone around the dining room table, place a large flat dish in the centre. In the dish scatter a good handful of raisins then pour on top a layer of brandy or cognac. Set fire to the brandy and dim the lights. Players take it in turns to pluck a raisin out of the burning liquid and eat it quickly down. For a more competitive edge to the game use larger dried fruit such as apricots, one of which has a lucky sixpence stuffed inside.

Equipment needed: plate, matches, raisins, brandy, address of nearest accident and emergency department

I have actually played Snapdragons. It was how I learned to use saliva to quickly douse my tongue. Oddly enough, and this will be a blog for another day, that knowledge has proved useful.

Here’s some other useless trivia for you. In case Christmas isn’t violent enough for you there’s another game, called “Hot Cockles” which can make your week. One person gets blindfolded and then players give a blow to the blindfolded player, who had to guess the name of the person who gave the blow.

Whee!

Okay, let’s move on to some fun facts about Christmas trees.

Which actually had nothing to do with Christmas for centuries.

  • The use of evergreen trees to celebrate the winter season occurred before the birth of Christ.
  • The first decorated Christmas was in Riga, Latvia in 1510.
  • The first printed reference to Christmas trees appeared in Germany in 1531.
  • Nineteenth century Americans cut their trees in nearby forests.
  • Christmas trees have been sold commercially in the United states since about 1850. Until fairly recently, all Christmas trees came from the forest. (ED: Not from a parking lot?)
  • The first Christmas tree retail lot in the United States was started in 1851 in New York by Mark Carr.
  • In 1900, large stores started to erect big illuminated Christmas trees.
  • In 1856 Franklin Pierce, the 14th President of the United States, was the first President to place a Christmas tree in the White House.
  • President Coolidge started the National Christmas Tree Lighting Ceremony on the White House lawn in 1923.
  • Teddy Roosevelt banned the Christmas tree from the White House for environmental reasons.
  • In 1984, the National Christmas was lit on December 13th with temperatures in the 70’s, making it one of the warmest tree lightings in history.
  • Between 1887-1933 a fishing schooner called the “Christmas Ship” would tie up at the Clark Street bridge and sell spruce trees from Michigan to Chicagoans.

My grandmother used to talk about that ship. She said it was so laden with pine trees that you could smell it from blocks away.

Also, just so you know, all of Santa’s reindeer are chicks.

Anyway, here are ten meaningless facts that you’ll use to impress your friends at holiday parties.

ONE
What percentage of mall Santa applicants were discovered to have criminal backgrounds by Pre-employ.com?
7%

Approximate amount generated by photographs with Santa in shopping malls in the USA in dollars:
$2,255,750,000

TWO
How many houses must Santa visit on Christmas?
842,000,000

How fast must he travel to visit all those homes?
4,796,250 Mph

THREE
Percentage of Americans who believe Santa in the off-season drives a sports car:
4%

drives an SUV:
25%

FOUR
How many presents would you receive if you were to get every present in “The 12 Days of Christmas”?
364

How much would all those gifts cost? (according to PNC Financial Services)
$18348.87

FIVE
Percentage of Americans who finish off their Christmas Shopping on Christmas Eve:
20

SIX
Percentage of pet owners who have their dog or cat pose and photographed with Santa Claus:
27

SEVEN
Percentage of Americans who re-gift:
28

EIGHT
Which type of Christmas tree is displayed more during the holiday season, artificial or real?
Artificial trees are the most popular with 40,694,463 on display in comparison to real trees at 34,335,809

NINE
How many Barbie dolls are sold every minute around the world?
180

TEN
How much trash is generated annually from the gift wrap and shopping bags:
4,000,000 Tons

So, burning question of the day, why does Santa wear red? Well, it’s a Catholic thing. You see, Santa is based, in part, on the life of St. Nicholas and he was the bishop of Smyrna, a spot in modern day Turkey. Bishops wore, and still wear, red capes. Then red was the way Norman Rockwell saw it, and red was the color Coca-Cola wanted when it pretty much created the modern image of Santa in 1931. So, Santa wears red.

Got it?

Cool.

Also, he is, depending on where you’re at at the moment, the patron saint of banking, pawnbroking, pirating, butchery, sailing, thievery, orphans, royalty, and New York City, thus making him the most popular, non-biblical, saint in history. Saint Valentine is a distant second.

Some other stuff that will make our reader feel a little better about the holiday. Contrary to popular belief, suicide rates during the Christmas holiday are low. The highest rates are during the spring.

One reason may be that Christmas has better music. It is estimated that the single “White Christmas” by Irving Berlin is the best selling single of all time, with over 100 million sales worldwide and that 50 million of those sales were of the Bing Crosby version.

Bing’s daughter starred in Star Trek and had sex with an android in one episode.

That has nothing to do with the topic at hand, I just thought I’d share.

I will end this blog with a dinner prayer by cartoonist Berke Breathed.

“Dear Lord, I’ve been asked, nay commanded, to thank thee for the Christmas turkey before us — a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird — a social being capable of actual affection, nuzzling its young with almost human-like compassion. Anyway, it’s dead and we’re gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family.”


Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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Plan Accordingly

December 13, 2014 by

Yes, this exists.
Yes, this exists.

If you’re like me, and I’m guessing you are since you’re reading this, you like to wake up in the morning and Google “naked cosplay” or “nude justice league” and so on. And because the internet is a thing you will be entertained for hours. In fact, if you simply add the word “sexy” to any search you will be entertained. Don’t believe me? Try “sexy baseball.” The point is that we all have our fantasies. And that’s fine. Just because your mom read 50 Shades of Grey doesn’t mean she wants to wrap herself in latex, get chained to a bed and be spanked. Trust me on that. But a rich fantasy life denotes a healthy mind. That would be a good thing for those of you who are new to the human race. A mind that explores and embraces new ideas is a mind that will never grow old or bored. And Hollywood has noticed that. While they’ll never make the Supergirl/Powergirl lesbian porno fans have been clamoring for, they have gone “all in” on the fantasy fulfillment end. Specifically, the growing need for movie audiences to escape into universes larger and more interesting than their own has been duly noted and is the driving force in cinema these days.

You clicked every link didn’t you? That’s okay. That’s what they’re there for.

Anyway, when I said Hollywood went all in I meant it. Culled from numerous sources is the list below. It is every superhero movie I could find that is in development or slated to be so at a definitive time with one exception that is duly noted. There are quite a few more in the advanced rumor stage but I couldn’t get anything on them so I’m just going with this for now.

2015
Feb. 13, 2015: “Kingsman: The Secret Service” (Fox)
May 1, 2015: “Avengers: Age of Ultron” (Marvel Studios)
July 17, 2015: “Ant-Man” (Marvel Studios)
Aug. 7, 2015: “The Fantastic Four” (Fox)
2015 undated: “Popeye” (Sony)

2016
Feb. 12, 2016: “Deadpool” (Fox)
March 25, 2016: “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” (Warner Bros.)
May 6, 2016: “Captain America: Civil War” (Marvel Studios)
May 27, 2016: “X-Men: Apocalypse” (Fox)
June 3, 2016: “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2” (Paramount)
Aug. 5, 2016: “Suicide Squad” (Warner Bros.)
Nov. 4, 2016: “Doctor Strange” (Marvel Studios)
Nov. 6, 2016: “The Peanuts Movie” (Fox)
Nov. 11, 2016: “Sinister Six” (Sony)

2017
March 3, 2017: Untitled “The Wolverine” sequel (Fox)
May 5, 2017: “Guardians of the Galaxy 2” (Marvel Studios)
June 23, 2017: “Wonder Woman” (Warner Bros.)
July 14, 2017: “The Fantastic Four 2” (Fox)
July 28, 2017: “Thor: Ragnarok” (Marvel Studios)
Nov. 3, 2017: “Black Panther” (Marvel Studios)
Nov. 17, 2017: “Justice League Part One” (Warner Bros.)
2017 undated: “The LEGO Batman Movie” (Warner Bros.)
2017 undated: Untitled female Spider-Man spin-off (Sony)
2017 undated: Venom: Carnage Spider-Man spin-off (Sony) (this one may be defunct)

2018
March 23, 2018: “The Flash” (Warner Bros.)
May 4, 2018: “Avengers: Infinity War Part 1” (Marvel Studios)
July 6, 2018: “Captain Marvel” (Marvel Studios)
July 27, 2018: “Aquaman” (Warner Bros.)
Nov. 2, 2018: “Inhumans” (Marvel Studios)
2018 undated: “Amazing Spider-Man 3” (Sony)

2019
April 5, 2019: “Shazam” (Warner Bros.)
May 3, 2019: “Avengers: Infinity War Part 2” (Marvel Studios)
June 14, 2019: “Justice League Part Two” (Warner Bros.)

2020
April 3, 2020: “Cyborg” (Warner Bros.)
June 19, 2020: “Green Lantern” (Warner Bros.)

Add in the fact that both DC & Marvel have invested heavily into TV shows so that they can showcase lesser known characters and develop them as real people, as it were, and you have all the fantasies you can shake your stick at. So go ahead and fantasize. Even try a few things out in real life.

Just don’t jump off a building thinking you can fly and everything will work out fine.

The Constellations “Afterparty” uncensored music video from Video Rahim on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
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