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You are here: Home / 2014 / Archives for June 2014

Archives for June 2014

Etymological Evolutions

June 27, 2014 by

Welcome to the World News Center, where education is always a learning experience.
Welcome to the World News Center, where education is always a learning experience.
Let’s play a little game. Do you speak English? Are you sure? Okay then, read this.

WHAN that Aprille with his shoures soote
The droghte of Marche hath perced to the roote,
And bathed every veyne in swich licour,
Of which vertu engendred is the flour;
Whan Zephirus eek with his swete breeth
Inspired hath in every holt and heeth
The tendre croppes, and the yonge sonne
Hath in the Ram his halfe cours y-ronne,
And smale fowles maken melodye,
That slepen al the night with open ye.

I’ll wait …. tap tap tap ….. okay, you gave up and called me a rude name didn’t you? That’s okay, let’s try it again. Same story, different English.

When April with his showers sweet with fruit
The drought of March has pierced unto the root
And bathed each vein with liquor that has power
To generate therein and sire the flower;
When Zephyr also has, with his sweet breath,
Quickened again, in every holt and heath,
The tender shoots and buds, and the young sun
Into the Ram one half his course has run,
And many little birds make melody
That sleep through all the night with open eye.

You read it, you can pronounce all the words and you still have no idea what the fuck this dude’s talking about. The dude, by the way, is Geoffrey Chaucer, and those paragraphs are part of the Prologue to Canterbury Tales. The collection of 20 stories, all tales about traveling the road to Canterbury in the late 1300’s, were wildly popular in their day. There’s no porn, no teen hearthrob, and the author could write above the 3rd grade level, so it would never be published now.

That being said, he didn’t write this for you or me. He used the language of the day to speak to his contemporaries. And that language, English though it may have been called, is dead. As is Latin, the first official language of the Bible. As is Ancient Greek, the language the Bible was written in and as is Aramaic, the language Jesus spoke.

Simply put, languages evolve and, when they can’t, they die. Bemoan all you wish the use of hashtag instead of pound sign, but it is proof that our language is still vital. It can change to fit the speaker. And those changes can be understood by all.

Still, it is because some people care enough about where we came from that I was able to post Chaucer’s epic here today. It is in that spirit that a group of researchers are trying to capture the last breaths of a uniquely American langue that will be dead in less than 20 years.

Alan Scher Zagier tells the story of Missouri French.

A small circle of history researchers is racing to capture the last remnants of a little-known French dialect that endures in some old Missouri mining towns before the few remaining native speakers succumb to old age.

So-called Missouri French is spoken by fewer than 30 people in Old Mines, southwest of St. Louis, although dozens of others can still rattle off phrases from childhood songs or overheard conversations involving their parents and grandparents.

“When they didn’t want us to know what they talked about,” they spoke in French, said Lucy Baquette, whose husband traces his regional roots back to the founding families of St. Louis.

Other languages once common in parts of North America have suffered similar fates, including some American Indian tongues. But Missouri French has the distinction of being one of only three French dialects believed to have originated in the United States. And it remained in wide use in these parts well into the 20th century.

Still, the language has received far less attention from cultural historians and language experts than the Creole and Cajun French spoken in present-day Louisiana and other variations heard in New England states along the Canadian border.

The language developed among French settlers who came to southeast Missouri by way of Canada nearly 300 years ago to extract lead from the northern Ozarks in a territory known then as Upper Louisiana.

The dialect is also known as Missouri-Illinois French or paw-paw French for the region’s plentiful paw-paw trees, which bear a sweet, mango-like fruit. The language flourished in the isolation of communities such as Old Mines and was used by hundreds of families for generations.

Music scholar Dennis Stroughmatt first learned about it 20 years ago as a student at Southeast Missouri State University in nearby Cape Girardeau. With a folklore professor’s encouragement and a semester of college French, he befriended families in and around Old Mines in an effort to preserve the region’s music and language.

He recorded old-timers’ oral histories, uncovered scratchy wax cylinder recordings and embraced the role as a modern-day storyteller.

Using his grandfather’s fiddle, he also performed at the house parties known as bouillons. His three-piece band, l’Esprit Creole, played the songs of Upper Louisiana at the Smithsonian Folklife Festival, the New Orleans Jazz & Heritage Festival and other venues in the U.S. and abroad, including the Fete de L’Automme, an annual fall festival in Old Mines.

In May, the Missouri Humanities Council honored Stroughmatt, citing his work to “revive an epoch of Midwestern history that was on the verge of extinction.”

“They have fought to keep their language and culture alive,” said Stroughmatt, who as a graduate student moved from the Midwest to Quebec to further his French studies. “I want to do anything I can to help.”

Missouri French is an amalgam of Old Norman French, Native American languages and frontier English. The regional dialect was also spoken in surrounding mine-belt towns such as Bonne Terre, Valles Mines, De Sloge, De Soto and Ste. Genevieve in the area about 65 miles south of St. Louis, he said.

The language remained intact in Old Mines, away from major highways and rail lines, well after residents of other towns began speaking mostly English.

While European French speakers drive to the grocery store in their “voitures,” their Old Mines counterparts rely on “chars” — a word that means tank or cart to most other Francophones.

Carol Diaz-Granados, an anthropology researcher at Washington University in St. Louis who studies the region’s Native American archaeology, heralded Stroughmatt’s historical preservation efforts.

Missouri French “was on the verge of being lost,” she said. “People are passing away. It’s the end of an era.”

Diaz-Granados is a board member of the Old Mines Area Historical Society, a volunteer group working to restore an old log cabin on the outskirts of town that would serve as the centerpiece of a 19th century village and history museum commemorating the region’s deep French roots.

The belated appreciation of that French heritage is emerging in a place where Missouri French speakers once faced scorn and ridicule for their strange tongue, particularly as public education and compulsory English lessons replaced church-based learning a century ago.

The area’s unofficial slogan is a testament to its resilience: “On est toujours icitte.” We are still here.

Yeah, but not for long.

Sure it’s said when a piece of history dies but that’s what history does. If it didn’t there would be no progress. And, yes, I know there are those who actively encourage living in the past but they get a little vague when you try and press them which past they are talking about.

The simple fact is this, it’s great that the researchers are doing what they’re doing. Missouri French is a fascinating look at etymology and social isolation. But, after that? You’re not heading down to your Volvo dealer and asking for a good deal on a char any time soon.


Sigur Ros – Gobbledigook by le-pere-de-colombe

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Facebook Hoax For Dummies

June 25, 2014 by

DSCN0324

Lets keep this short and simple.

“Facebook Hoax for Dummies 1.0” 

KFC Hoax

1.) Create a sad story:

Maybe you are a gay person who has been shamed by a customer who didn’t tip and left a hate rant on their credit card reciept. Or Maybe not. Just put it out their on social media anyway and see if it goes viral. But beware… if people find out you were faking the funk the backlash will be much worse than the original adulation.

2.) Take an actual tragedy and then embellish A LOT: 

Sure your daughter was horrible scared by a possible dog attack (you possibly egged on by setting the scene with a yard full of dogs and an infant). But the world won’t come calling with cash in hand just for anyone. So how about faking being kicked out of a corporately run establishment! That will bring tears to eyes of the willing and anger to the hearts always looking for something to be outraged about. And maybe if you’re lucky, said corporation will crack under immense media pressure & fork over thousands to make the story go away. But we warned… playing such a game can turn you into a social pariah if you are caught faking it!

3.) Pretend you are deathly Ill:

You could, if you were so inclined, tell all of your friends, family and even your own children that you have cancer. That would surely pull on the heart strings of the Facebook community as well. But if your gonna pull this one, you’ve got to go whole hog. Fraudulent doctors appointments, shaven head, and even lose the weight to get that great chemo look going. Make a hard sell. But be warned… procuring funds in the thousands for medical bills that don’t exist will land you straight in a jail cell. And there’s no faking your way out of that.

Finally

4.) Become a professional liar : 

All of the above are simply giant lies or mis-truths used to create attention and in most cases garner funds from strangers. The ways in which you make that happen is boundless if you are willing to become a professional liar. If you can create an entire untruth , see it through (even if that means harming yourself) and stick with it even when others call you out on  your fraud you just might get away with scamming hundreds for thousands. Or you could…..

GET A JOB!!!! 

Class Dismissed.

Visit Chayse Love on Facebook & @ChayseLove

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Catching Up

June 20, 2014 by

No, Megan Fox is not the new Super Girl. But if she was, this is what she'd look like.
No, Megan Fox is not the new Super Girl. But if she was, this is what she’d look like.
We’ve been BUSY BUSY BUSY here at the World News Center. The lovely and talented Chayse Love has been working on a film and I’ve been splitting my time between doing a rewrite on a novel and trying to earn a living. Someday I hope that the former covers the latter. But until then we all must make do. A couple of quick things; several readers wanted to know, when I discussed the discovery of actual teleportation, if by “proof of concept” that I was trying to say some mad scientist had already built a device that could transport humans from one place to another. The answer is no. Proof of Concept is a very real term that has a very specific meaning. It means that something has shown that it can be done and only that. It ascribes no practical value to it at all. For example, the original proof of concept for the atomic bomb produced barely enough energy to light a light bulb. 5 years later things were MUCH different. It is the true starting point for all scientific discoveries. I also fielded some cards and letters (as it were) about Chayse’s article on using shame to sell products. If those authors would go back and read the parts written in English they will discover that at no time did she say this was new. She just said it’s wildly more pronounced. And she’s right. So there. Suck it up and move on.

You’re cell is phone so bad that you’re not worth mugging is not a message that anyone would have dared 10 years ago. Yet here it is now.

One thing that would have been missed by those few people who don’t regularly listen to The Big Wake Up Call radio show and podcasts is that the whole Justice League thing is taking on a massive life of its own. I noted that my sources had confirmed that there were three full camera crews being dedicated to the project. 3 crews = 3 movies.

Or so I thought.

I was wrong.

Landon McDonald of the Daily Trojan reports that renowned journalist Nikki Finke has unearthed exactly what DC and Warner are about to do. And what they’re about to do will blow your mind.

After years of frustrating false starts (Superman Returns, Green Lantern) and a disheartening number of unrealized or abandoned projects (Joss Whedon’s Wonder Woman, George Miller’s computer-animated version of Justice League), the superstructure of the DC cinematic universe is finally beginning to take shape.

While Marvel Studios continues to add to its menagerie of spandex-clad do-gooders, DC has struggled to expand its stable beyond Batman and Superman, a problem emblemized by Zack Snyder’s awkwardly-titled Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, which unintentionally conjures images of the two heroes locked in a Kramer vs. Kramer-style custody battle over Robin. All that changed last week, however, when notorious entertainment blogger Nikki Finke posted what she said was a leaked production schedule, one that Warner Bros. and DC Entertainment were apparently hoping to unveil at next month’s San Diego Comic-Con. The list, which has since been all but confirmed by filmmaker and Fat Man on Batman podcaster Kevin Smith, includes a total of seven movies revolving around every character from Shazam and Sandman, each one slated for release at some point during the next four years. If the schedule holds true, DC could easily find itself releasing two to three movies a year for the foreseeable future.

It’s a risky, deliberately idiosyncratic lineup, very different from the shameless duplicate of the Marvel model many fans and online commentators were expecting. Instead of slowly building up to Justice League — its 2017 release date is only halfway down the list — by giving its most prominent members a bunch of solo adventures, DC is instead planning what amounts to a meta-human mélange, starting with Batman v Superman, which promises to be less a sequel to Snyder’s own Man of Steel — that one won’t show up until 2018 at the earliest — and more a direct lead-in to Justice League.

Batman v Superman, which was delayed until 2016 due to the sheer enormity of its cast and their other professional commitments — will be responsible for introducing viewers to several future leaguers besides the Dark Knight and the Last Son of Krypton, including feminist icon Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot from Fast Five), the unfairly ridiculed Atlantian monarch Aquaman (Jason Momoa, a.k.a. Khal Drogo on Game of Thrones) and the student athlete-turned-superhero Cyborg (relative newcomer Ray Fisher), the last of whom has enjoyed a recent spike in popularity thanks to an expanded role in the comics — particularly under Geoff Johns and Jim Lee’s New 52 reboot — and Cartoon Network’s resurrection of the Teen Titans animated series.

After Batman and Superman finish their grudge match, audiences will be treated to the big-screen debut of one of the oldest superheroes in the history of the medium, even though he technically belonged to the now-defunct Fawcett Comics for the first few decades of his existence. Shazam, formerly known as Captain Marvel, has been around since 1939, but “the world’s mightiest mortal” still gets dismissed by casual fans as an underpowered Superman clone. He’s actually little Billy Batson, a kid reporter who comes across a benevolent wizard — coincidentally named Shazam himself — who deems the boy a “champion of good” and endows him with the ability to transform into a full-grown superhero anytime he shouts the word, “Shazam!” The Captain is an unabashedly goofy, optimistic, pure-hearted character, one who stands in purposeful contrast to the League’s many brooding, angst-ridden members, and any film featuring him is practically guaranteed to be a hit with younger audiences. In fact, it wouldn’t be a stretch to picture a family-friendly star like Dwayne Johnson in the title role.

2016 might also see the release of Sandman, possibly the most intriguing title on the content slate, even though it will likely have no bearing on the events of Justice League. Based on Neil Gaiman’s critically acclaimed horror fantasy comic, the story centers on the existential wanderings of the Endless, a group of all-powerful beings who double as anthropomorphic representations of the universe’s most ancient and vital aspects. The series, which has been celebrated for its epic scope, rich characterization and intricately detailed narrative, regularly finds itself on lists of the greatest graphic novels of all time, right up there with Alan Moore’s Watchmen and Frank Miller’s The Dark Knight Returns. The film version will star Joseph Gordon-Levitt as the mercurial Lord of Dreams and is being scripted by The Dark Knight co-writer (and USC alumnus) David S. Goyer. Between this and the upcoming Constantine television series, we could be in for a rash of new goth-tinged comic adaptations. Guillermo del Toro may even be able to make his long-rumored version of Justice League Dark after all!

The list also teases a standalone Wonder Woman film in 2017, which should please any fan who’s ever wondered why it’s taken more than seven decades for the most famous female superhero in the world to finally headline her own movie. Hopefully Gadot, who’s already faced criticism for being too short and slight for the role, can summon the right combination of pluck and potency to make the Amazon princess a true force to be reckoned with, both onscreen and at the box office. The actress certainly has more combat experience than most Hollywood starlets, having trained in the Israeli army for two years during her late adolescence.

Last but not least is something we haven’t really seen before: a superhero buddy movie. That’s right, the final film on the list calls for a feature-length Flash and Green Lantern team-up. This has all the makings of a zany fun sci-fi romp, but its critical and commercial success will hinge almost entirely on the chemistry and rapid-fire rapport that must exist between its two costumed stars. If this duo is anything less than dynamic, it’s doubtful we’ll ever see a quality version of Hal Jordan on the big screen.

After years of uncertainty, it looks like DC finally has a workable game plan that doesn’t involve kidnapping Christopher Nolan and chaining him to a director’s chair. Speaking of Nolan, it’s worth noting that there are currently no plans for another solo Batman movie. Ben Affleck’s version of the Caped Crusader will doubtlessly appear in all but a few of these forthcoming movies, but it’s strange to see DC and Warner Bros. ignoring the guaranteed revenue a new Bat-film would bring in. Could it be a long-overdue sign of confidence in the rest of their heroes? Or are they just holding out for Affleck to direct the next one himself?

Let’s run down that list again.

  • May 2016 – Batman v Superman
  • July 2016 – Shazam
  • Christmas 2016 – Sandman
  • May 2017 – Justice League
  • July 2017 – Wonder Woman
  • Christmas 2017 – Flash/Green Lantern team-up
  • May 2018 – Man Of Steel 2

To release 7 movies in 24 months means they need to shoot 7 movies prior to that. 3 camera crews could make that happen. They could go from film one to film two and just keep on filming. That would mean that 3 films would be in the process of being edited while 3 more were on their way and one was being set up for the final crew.

If this is panning out they could just keep going.

The one thing that has become clear is that Warner and DC are not playing this safe. Sandman, although on the Vertigo imprint, is a very dark, and incredibly well written, series.

The back story for Wonder Woman makes it clear that she’s about as American as a falafel.

Shazam is a character who has fought Superman and spurned the Justice League in the comics. The fact that his real life identity is a hormonal teen only makes things more intriguing.

Already Superman has killed in the movies and the new Batman costume that has been leaked looks more like armor than tights.

Which makes sense if he’s planning on fighting Superman and not just hooking up for a double mocha latte.

All indications are that Flash will remain a pacifist, which will make a compelling dynamic if they follow it down to its logical conclusions.

There’s been no word on which Green Lantern they will portray but rumors indicate that they are leaning towards the John Stewart character. That would add a level of military discipline to this that should give the other characters pause for thought.

Keep in mind that the military trains to fight hoping they never have to. That’s why a Green Lantern / Flash team suddenly becomes a fascinating thing.

A skilled assassin (Stewart was a sniper in the comics) and a pacifist should have some interesting dinner conversations.

Suddenly I want to see them all.

Even if it appears that J’onn J’onzz is getting kicked to the curb.

Below is a cinematic representation of how the world views American superheroes. And, yes, it’s as bizarre as you think it is.

Mondo Superhero Part 2: Superman Is A Pervert from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

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Beam Me Up Scotty

June 2, 2014 by

I love Deviant Art.
I love Deviant Art.
What do atomic bombs, the Internet, lunar landings, radar, online newspapers, tanks, virtual reality games, video chat, credit cards, scuba diving and cell phones all have in common? They were all inspired by science fiction writers. And in a related note, water beds were actually invented by Robert Heinlein as a way for burned soldiers to heal better. He never patented the idea because he felt the technology should be free to all. Had he known that they would become the go-to prop in 70’s porn films he might have felt differently. Still, thousands of burn victims have healed faster thanks to him so I guess we can put up with the occasional moan and squirt.

I know I can.

But but but you’re saying. What about all the other stuff sci-fi promised? Flying cars exist, they’re just not practical. At least not yet. Quite a few things that were mere fantasy 30 years ago are now coming to reality. Every single item listed above was once just a concept. All of them are now ubiquitous.

Elite Daily reports that scientists have discovered how to transport matter from one place to another.

Just like they used to do in Star Trek.

Dutch scientists have unlocked the secret to the sci-fi phenomenon of teleportation, successfully causing an atom to vanish and reappear nearly 10 feet away.

The Irish Times reports that a team led by Professor Ronald Hanson of Delft University conducted a demonstration in which information encoded into sub-atomic particles was teleported between two points with 100 percent accuracy for the very first time.

Hanson says that, if a particle can be teleported, there’s no reason to believe the same cannot be done for a human being.

He explained,

If you believe we are nothing more than a collection of atoms strung together in a particular way, then in principle it should be possible to teleport ourselves from one place to another. In practice it’s extremely unlikely, but to say it can never work is very dangerous. I would not rule it out because there’s no fundamental law of physics preventing it.

The technology used will be put towards creating a system of quantum computers that can process information at lightning speed compared even to today’s most advanced computers.

He said,

The main application of quantum teleportation is a quantum version of the internet, extending a global network that we can use to send quantum information. We have shown that it’s possible to do this, and it works every time that you try.

Hanson’s team entangled three particles — a nitrogen atom and two electrons — and used them to transmit quantum information between pieces of diamond three meters apart.

This information is stored on “qubits,” the quantum equivalent of the digital bit. The teleportation was really just the two points linking together, with the second point filling a void the other had left.

The professor explained that the goal is to use teleportation to create a communication system impervious to hacks.

He said,

The information is teleported to the other side, and there’s no way anyone can intercept that information. In principle it’s 100 percent secure.

The next experiment will attempt to teleport information from one building to another over 4,000 feet away.

Hanson said,

I believe it will work, but it’s a huge technical challenge — there’s a reason why nobody has done it yet.

Hanson’s findings were published in the journal Science.

The last attempt to teleport quantum information, conducted in Maryland in 2009, did have a success rate but only once every 100 million tries.

Granted were are talking about incredibly small amounts of matter but they had to start somewhere and this is an amazing beginning. If it helps, don’t think of it as moving something from one place to another. Instead think of it as being in both places simultaneously and … no that doesn’t help either dies it?

The physics behind this is so staggeringly complex it may as well be magic. But it’s not. It’s real science. And once they figure out the basics the rest is just adding mass.

In Larry Niven’s classic series, Ringworld, he posits a world wherein teleportation units would be in every city and you could just hop in one and hop out on a different part of the globe. What Professor Hanson has done has taken the first real step to making that a reality.

Panda Transport – Dark Horse Ultraviolet mix from Panda Transport on Vimeo.

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