Not Well Planned

That about sums it up.
That about sums it up.
We all have great ideas that we’d like to see taken back. It happens. I once had a great idea for a hair cut that ended up with me looking like a demented skunk. I once worked for a company that designed a 3 wheeled forklift, with the 3rd wheel in the front. When I noted that most forklift driver drive backwards, so the forks are always pointed forward to grab merchandise, I was called an idiot. They rolled out their invention at a construction exhibition and were roundly lambasted for being morons. One reviewer called the contraption the “least safe thing this side of flaming knives.” They were out of business and I was out of work shortly thereafter. Chicago’s parking meter fiasco is a good example of not thinking something all the way through. Like little kids eating their desert before dinner, the mayor’s office left everyone with nutrition free bloat. It will be decades before we can get healthy from that move.

Today we’ll look at some more.

Matthew Sparkes, from the Telegraph UK, tells us about scientists searching for time travelers.

“Given the current prevalence of the internet… this search might be considered the most sensitive and comprehensive search yet for time travel from the future,” says their paper, hosted on the Cornell University Library’s website.

“Technically, what was searched for here was not physical time travellers themselves, but rather informational traces left by them.”

Unfortunately, they were forced to conclude that no time traveller has ever come back from the future and left visible clues online.

“Although the negative results reported here may indicate that time travellers from the future are not among us and cannot communicate with us over the modern day internet, they are by no means proof,” they said.

“There are many reasons for this. First, it may be physically impossible for time travellers to leave any lasting remnants of their stay in the past, including even non-corporeal informational remnants on the internet. Next, it may be physically impossible for us to find such information as that would violate some yet-unknown law of physics.

“Furthermore, time travellers may not want to be found, and may be good at covering their tracks.”

Orrrrr …. orrrr ……. OR Time Travel doesn’t exist. If someone came back and changed something it would become the new normal for us so we couldn’t tell anyway. We know no other future than the one we’re aiming for. PHDs or no, these people are idiots.

On the funnier side of idiots, and no less temporal challenged, CNN’s Randi Kaye went on a tour of legal pot dispensaries on Colorado.

The results are about what you’d expect.

In a clip posted on YouTube, CNN’s Randi Kaye is seen doing “extensive research” on Colorado’s revised cannabis laws, reporting that she suddenly “found things to be really funny”.

The latest installment of the news network’s Gone To Pot series focuses on cannabis tours, with Kaye joining a group of people in the back of a stretch Hummer as they visit a number of newly-opened pot dispensaries.

The reporter is seen getting “contact high” in in the back of the smoky limo, becoming gradually more giggly as the segment continues.

The report ends with the group, now several joints deep, “demanding tacos” before Kaye talks to CNN anchor Anderson Cooper about her experience.

“It was top notch, we did very extensive research I have to tell you,” a smiley Kaye says.

In a clip posted on YouTube, CNN’s Randi Kaye is seen doing “extensive research” on Colorado’s revised cannabis laws, reporting that she suddenly “found things to be really funny”.

The latest installment of the news network’s Gone To Pot series focuses on cannabis tours, with Kaye joining a group of people in the back of a stretch Hummer as they visit a number of newly-opened pot dispensaries.

“It was top notch, we did very extensive research I have to tell you,” a smiley Kaye says.

“My brain was a little fuzzy by the time I got out of there, I wasn’t thinking right and I couldn’t remember even some of the questions I wanted to ask in the interview, which has never happened to me.

“And I found things to be really funny, much funnier than I normally do,” she adds.

Marijuana sales have boomed since the drug was legalised in the state, with licensed sellers thought to have raked in more than $1 million on the first day alone.

This falls into the same category as “I’m here in the hurricane” or “As you can see on the sign behind me it’s -45* out now …” and so on. Why do news organizations feel the ongoing need to put people in harm’s way?

Another person who may want to rethink his video presentations is one Tyler Smith of Washington State.

You see, he claims to be a survivalist, but instead he’s a convicted felon with a plan to rob and kill his neighbors.

Yes, there is a difference.

Sheriff’s deputies arrested a Washington state man who was shown firing two rifles on the “Doomsday Prepper” reality show.

In the November episode of the National Geographic Channel program, Tyler Smith – a convicted felon who’s barred from owning guns — describes his plans to commit armed robbery and shots firearms on his property in Buckley.

“His stated plan was not to defend himself but to use weapons he illegally possessed, to rob his neighbors at gunpoint,” said Pierce County Sheriff Paul Pastor in a statement.

“Did he really think that this wouldn’t attract our attention?”

The 26-year-old Smith was arrested Wednesday and charged with two counts of second-degree unlawful possession of a firearm.

He was previously convicted of theft and a gross misdemeanor for communicating with a minor for immoral purposes.

Deputies said Smith had recently moved to Bonney Lake from the farm where the episode was filmed in March.

Also struggling with the world of new media are a New York couple who steal phones. And then use the stolen phones to make some selfie porn. Which is then loaded into the phone owner’s Dropbox account.

I’ll just share this gem and move on.

But what if you don’t have access to a Dropbox account to look at strangers’ pubes? Well, you can thank your lucky stars for American Apparel.

They are using anatomically correct mannequins to pimp lingerie.

Yeah, so, these are the mannequins at American Apparel’s store on East Houston street in NYC today, which Gothamist was quick to find and share with the world. According to one employee, they went up without warning last night, and people seem to be getting a kick out of them. Personally, I haven’t visited an American Apparel in a while, so I missed the memo about their mannequins’ areolae, but that’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking to a return to the bush years – the good bush years from all of history until the 80s, not the bad ones in the 2000s.

On the one hand, this is pretty cool! Even if, as a matter of personal taste, you like the bald look or something in between, I think we can all agree that women as a whole have been under a lot of undue pressure to keep their crotches hair-free. Of course, for a long time we were encouraging them not to show much of anything. Once society discovered women wanted to wear bathing suits that were less than pants-length, however, we fairly quickly decided that we wanted to see it all and we wanted it smooth. Then we got a lot more into porn and soon the hair was gone. A lot of this stuff was good in other ways, don’t get me wrong. Who doesn’t like some variety, also? But it also became a major burden (not least in time and money) for women to make sure their snizz was up to snuff, whereas dudes need to be convinced to use even Axe Body Wash.

On the other hand, you have Dov Charney and the fact that American Apparel ads are barely-legal softcore porn. Maybe Dov is just into bush right now. Maybe someone’s actually taking a stand. That’s the problem with having tons of (mostly settled, some dismissed) sexual harassment lawsuits against you. It kind of makes you seem like a huge perv.

And maybe we need to be worried about one more thing: a new pressure on women to have full, voluptuous, gigantic bushes. Look at those things! I see major growth in the merkin industry.

The glasses are a nice touch.

Now, me? I like a woman who’s actually a woman. Real hair, real curves and all. Hairless stick figures remind me of 10 year old boys and 10 year old boys do not excite me.

You go American Apparel.

Lena and the Stone – Cha Cha Diva – Presented by Wolf Magazine from WOLF Magazine on Vimeo.

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