Oh Look! Stoopid!

eye am to run four congress.
eye am to run four congress.
This week has been the world’s largest celebration of stupidity that I can remember. Not just the politicians either. Although they certainly are due your consideration in this view. No, this week has seen people crawl out from whatever rock they’d been under and foist themselves upon reality with no regard for the consequences. It’s like some filter’s been turned off and people no longer feel the need to give a damn about anyone else. Before we get to today’s examples allow me to share a personal moment. I have a friend whose mother has terminal cancer. She asked for, and got, a wake held before she dies. This way we all got to hang out with her one last time, share some tears and some laughs. Mostly laughs. She even busted out the story about the time she caught me and her daughter playing doctor. We were in our 20’s then and are still good friends now. As we were laughing I heard a commotion. It seems her son, my buddy, was yelling at his cousin. He’s not really a yelling kind of guy so we all rushed into the living room to see what was up. What was up was his cousin was filling her purse with his mom’s bric-a-brac. Some of it worth good coin. Her excuse? “What are you yelling about, she’s going to kick anyway.”

There’s a lot of crap just like that going around.

The story of Robert Selle would seem to make my point.

If fences make good neighbors, then maybe this couple should consider building something akin to the Berlin Wall.

A Stuart couple complained to cops after seeing too much of their neighbor, 40-year-old Robert Selle, who allegedly stood naked in his yard while yelling at passing cars and throwing stuff around, reports Will Greenlee in his Off the Beat blog for TCPalm.com in Stuart.

Selle reportedly hurled a leather coat, a mailbox, knife, gate and a neck of a guitar at the couple and deputies, who arrived latter, according to the report.

Cops then threw him into jail.

This kind of self absorbed behavior can cause harm as well as laughter. Philomena Maria Melton is walking, talking proof of that. Well, she is now that she’s awake.

Hey, mom, you snooze, you lose … possibly your child.

Philomena Maria Melton, a 23-year-old mom, was charged with child neglect and possession of synthetic marijuana after she allegedly smoked some fake weed and then fell asleep in her van at a Kangaroo Express, Ocala police report.

A concerned employee called cops after finding the snoozing mom, along with her almost two-year-old child, inside the van with the door open, according to the report.

It might be fake pot — but it’ll get you some real jail time.

Not all self absorbed people are a danger to humans. Some are a danger to animals as well. http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/strange/floriduh-blog/sfl-flduh-pantless-car-with-dog-dui-20131001,0,7905276.story illuminates this point better than I ever could.

Bottoms up or bottoms off?

Marion County deputies called to a report of a suspicious vehicle on Sunday found a 2009 Hyundai with all of its lights out parked halfway on a Dunnellon road and obstructing the flow of traffic, according to a Sheriff’s Office report.

A woman identified as Karen Worley Drake, 51, was lying in the front seat amid mounds of clothing and personal stuff. Her dog was in the passenger’s seat, deputies said.

It took “several minutes” of tapping on the car’s window before Drake finally opened the door – naked from the waist down with the car reeking of booze, the sheriff’s report said.

Drake allegedly told the deputy that she was living in her car because she had been “kicked out” of her home.

And she wasn’t wearing any panties because she, uh, had urinated on herself earlier. the report said.

After initially denying that she had anything to drink, Drake later admitted she had consumed two shots of “Fireball Whiskey,” deputies said.

In the back seat of the car deputies also reported finding an empty container of “boxed wine” with her reach.

At least now she’ll get three hots and a cot.

Of course, as you know, all stupid people think they’re smart. So they will try and outsmart that which they can not our run or just kill. Christina Marie Ferrara is a prime example of that.

It appears an accused hooker’s cat and mouse game with cop landed her a date with the judge.

An undercover Daytona Beach cop, who was working in an area known for street prostitution, called out to a woman, “Hey, babydoll, are you working?” according to police.

Once the woman, identified as Christina Marie Ferrara, 21, entered the unmarked police car, she immediately asked the ‘john’ if he was a cop. She then demanded he touch her breasts to prove that he was not a law-enforcement officer, according to the arrest report.

When the undercover officer told her that there were people nearby and was reluctant to touch her, Ferrara asked to exit the car, police reported.

Too late.

Since Ferrara allegedly asked the cop to touch her boobs on a public roadway in view of people, she committed another crime — offering or agreeing to a lewd or indecent act.

Oh, there is too much wrong there to discuss in one sitting. Let’s just move on.

What do you do when you’ve gone out of your way to anger a trucker? If you answered “show him my chaplain’s badge” you win.

I actually feel good about myself that that wasn’t my first answer.

Allow me to share the story of Almed Jurado.

Watch out! God’s Squad appears to be patrolling our highways.

A man was charged with impersonating a cop after police said he flashed a chaplain’s badge during a road rage incident last Saturday in Kissimmee.

In other news, there’s such a thing as a chaplain’s badge?

A semi-truck driver told deputies the driver of a gold Mercury, who was travel ling in front of him, slammed on his brakes. Then, at a nearby intersection, the trucker said the driver, identified as Almed Jurado, 32, got out of his car, yelled at him and approached him holding what looked like a police badge and said he was a cop, the report stated.

The trucker called 911.

Jurado denied flashing a badge, deputies said, but did show them a badge inscribed “Florida Ministry Association” he said he used for his work as a chaplain — but not as a chaplain for any law enforcement agency, according to the report.

Another question for you; say you’re serving community service in a public place.

Do you:
(a) Serve your sentence and work to have your record expunged
(b) pull out your penis and wave it at strangers

Heber Laguna Jr., a man clearly doomed by his name, chose (b).

If you’ve been ordered by the court to perform community service hours as part of your sentence or plea agreement, then take responsibility, show up and always be on your best behavior.

That means talking trash and exposing your junk are off-limits.

On Sept. 23rd, deputies got a report from an unidentified business that Heber Laguna Jr. had exposed himself and made sexual comments to several female employees, according to the Okeechobee County Sheriff’s Office.

Unfortunately for Laguna, the business that had reported his alleged lewd behavior was the company that he had been assigned to work in order to complete community service hours, the report stated.

Deputies found Laguna walking down the road from the business after he was told to leave, deputies said.

Laguna was charged with exposure of sexual organs.

And there you have it. Proof that society is circling the drain.

Have a nice day!

David Tennant – I Want To Do Bad Things With You from sarah schofield on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Visit us on Rebel Mouse for even more fun!
contact Bill McCormick
Your Ad Can Be Here Now!

Related posts