Archives for September 2013

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That doesn’t mean it’s visiting here on a weekly basis. Our little ball of water is on the edge of the galaxy and not in any main shipping lanes, for lack of a better term.

Still, last year something happened that wasn’t easily explainable. I don’t mean giant UFOs buzzing a baseball game or anything like that. No, instead, I am talking about a red rain in India. I didn’t write about it when it happened because, like the alleged meteorite that supposedly contained alien life forms, and turned out to be a rock from earth, I wanted to see what happened when actual scientists looked into it and compared notes.

David Moye reports that maybe, just maybe, some of that tenacious life stuff did fall from the skies.

A two-month rain storm in southern India may be the most compelling evidence yet that extraterrestrial lifeforms have visited Earth.

Between July 25 and Sept. 23, 2001, the Indian state of Kerala was drenched by bizarre red-colored rain unlike any seen previously, according to the latest episode of “The Unexplained Files,” airing Sept. 25 on the Science Channel.

Godfrey Louis, a physicist based in Kerala, analyzed drops of the rain expecting the strange color would be a result of dust particles. But that didn’t turn out to be the case.

“Dust particles do not have this irregular shape,” Louis said in the program. “They are not transparent like this.”

Louis noticed something else when he analyzed the crimson-colored water droplets under the microscope. In his opinion, the particles appeared to be alive, with some superficial similarities to blood cells — although closer inspection revealed they were not blood cells.

At first, the official report from the Center for Earth Science Studies attributed the red rain to an exploding meteor that fell to Earth in the area a week before the first red rainstorm.

After working with the Tropical Botanic Garden and Research Institute, the official explanation was changed to spores, according to the Indian Express.

Louis believes that the spores were on the meteor that exploded over Kerala prior to the rainstorm.

He said research showed that the supposed space cells managed to continue replicating even under temperatures exceeding 572 degrees Fahrenheit.

“It was growing at temperatures that would kill other lifeforms,” Louis said on the show.

British-based astrobiologist Chandra Wickramasinghe believes that the “alien rain” theory is not only plausible, but likely, especially since 100 tons of space rock hits Earth daily.

“The existence of life outside the Earth is amazingly regarded as an extraordinary hypothesis, but I would argue that the extraordinary hypothesis is that this tiny minute piece of dust we call the Earth is the center of life in the universe and that no life exists even next door to it,” Wickramasinghe told the program.

Earlier this year, Wickramasinghe also announced he had discovered tiny fossils inside a meteorite found in Sri Lanka in December. He used this finding to promote “panspermia,” a theory that life exists throughout the universe and is distributed by meteoroids and asteroids.

Louis and Wickramasinghe’s red rain theories are inspiring a storm of controversy, but the possibility of actual proof that life on other planets is clouded with some chilling realizations.

Earlier this year, researcher Anil Samaranayake released a paper in the Journal of Cosmology suggesting that the cells found in red rain pose a possible risk to Earth.

“A high concentratrion of uranium was found in the outer crust of the unicellular organisms,” Samaranayake said.

Now, since that is all going to be part of a TV show my BS radar was pinging like you wouldn’t believe. So, I took a walk over to some regular science sites to see if there were any notes there.

And there are.

Chillymanjaro, who writes for the scientific blog The Watcher, says that Sherlock Holmes’ famous edict is rapidly coming into play.

“Eliminate all other factors, and the one which remains must be the truth.”

Incidents where water bodies all over the world have been turning red have been reported for some time now. While most of these occurrences, including the ‘red rain’ of Sri Lanka, have been given sufficient explanations by scientists, some isolated incidents remain a mystery. The DNA-less structures observed by them had allegedly displayed a number of remarkable characteristics, atypical of those displayed by any known micro-organisms. These properties had included the ability to replicate and multiply at extreme temperatures of up to 300 degrees Celsius, and the ability to be cultured in unconventional substrate materials.

“As far as the Kerala red rain is concerned, there is a mysterious microorganism that has defied identification so far. We have not been able to convincingly extract any DNA from them and Prof Louis has maintained that there is no DNA, but it can multiply at very high temperatures under high pressure conditions. I think there are all the signs of an alien bug! The Kerala red rain was preceded by a sonic boom that was heard, probably indicating that a fragment of a comet exploded in the atmosphere and unleashed the red cells that became incorporated in rain. I suspect the same could be true of the Sri Lankan rain, but I would like to have samples to confirm this. I should also say that reports of red rain are found throughout history all the way back to biblical times. I think this could be more evidence for cometary panspermia theory.” Professor Chandra Wickramasinghe, Director of the Astrobiological Center at the Buckingham University

I’ll save you some time. 99% of all the “red rain” stories turn out to be dust or iron ore related.

This is the 1% that isn’t.

I remind you that the lack of an explanation is not proof of anything. It never has been and never will be. It simply means we don’t know.

Still, this red rain may be the first tease that this life stuff isn’t just for us.

With that out of the way let us commence with the blogging.

Noted creep, and borderline pedophile, Andrew Warren Hahn, was upset that a local pastor wouldn’t let him near the kids in church. So he threatened to kill him with a chain saw.

Because there are no guns in Florida, as you may have heard.

Earlier this month Andrew Warren Hahn, 29, allegedly allegedly contacted the 53-year old pastor of a Ponte Vedra Church and threatened to attack him with a chainsaw, according to the St. Johns County Sheriff’s Office. Hahn had attended that pastor’s church until he was issued a trespass warning several years ago after he reportedly was caught watching kids from outside the windows of the church, the report said.

But he wouldn’t buzz off.

Despite the trespass warning, the Jacksonville Beach man continued to harass the pastor and other staff members at the church, deputies said.

Hahn was arrested in 2008 on a charge of video voyeurism after being accused of taking photos with his cellphone of children showering at a Ponte Vedra hotel. He was also arrested in 2010 for trespassing at that same hotel, according to the report.

While it’s still perfectly okay to kill the crap out of people in Florida, it’s nice to know they have some standards.

Speaking of killing the crap out of folks in Florida, Mark Cruz decided to test that law by shooting himself. Unfortunately for Mr. Cruz, he is one of three people not allowed to own a gun in Florida.

Does the stand your ground law apply to shooting yourself?

If so, it might help Florida convict Mark Cruz, who accidentally shot himself this week despite being barred from owning a firearm. The 28-year-old Wimauma man was injured when his .22-caliber pistol fell out of his pocket and discharged, sending a round into his leg, the Sun Sentinel reports.

Cruz was banned from owning a gun after a 2012 conviction on cocaine trafficking charges. That could be why he threw the gun in a lake after he shot himself, NBC Miami reports. He reportedly wouldn’t tell deputies where he obtained the weapon.

I can’t imagine why not. I’m sure he bought it from a NRA approved, reputable, dealer.

Also in Florida the Department of Health is warning people not to have sex with herpes infected monkeys. There is absolutely nothing I can add to that.

Moving out of the Sunshine State we head over to Jolly Old England, where a man who calls himself Hotcock showed police and doctors how he earned that name.

A man with the self-proclaimed nickname “Hotcock” is in hot water after allegedly getting naked and attempting sex with a Land Rover.

A court in Wales, UK recently convicted Daniel Cooper, 24, of indecent exposure. He was banned from going outside between 7 p.m. and 7 a.m. on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays for the next three months.

The order stems from an August 18 incident where Cooper — who is known by the nickname “Hotcock” — was caught on surveillance video getting naked and then grinding against a blue 4×4 Land Rover Discovery, the New York Daily News reported.

Cooper told the court he was so drunk at the time that he did not remember his auto-erotic encounter until he saw the video.

The Land Rover was not available for comment, but it wasn’t the only inanimate object that caught Cooper’s eye during that evening, according to the Mirror.

Earlier in the evening, witnesses saw him bumping and grinding with the counter on a kebab shop and simulating sex on the floor with his pants around his ankles. He was also seen walking down the street with his pants pulled down.

Cooper, a father of three, also urinated in the streets. When he was arrested, he admitted to officers that he rarely drank, according to the Telegraph.

Besides the 3-month nighttime ban, Cooper was ordered to pay a $134 fine.

His attorney, Gary Harvey, told the court that his client was mortified by his actions and that his behavior toward cars and kebab counters was out of character.

“He is a responsible family man who looks after the children while his wife went out to work” he said, the International Business Times reported.

That may be, but both the Mirror and Telegraph pointed out that Cooper changed the name on his Facebook page to Daniel Hotcock Cooper only after he was arrested for his 4X4-play.

Besides the sentencing and fine, Cooper can expect to be razzed about his drunken behavior for the rest of his life.

“Daniel will never live this down,” an unidentified pal said. “He is not a pretty sight when naked. We all felt sorry for the Land Rover and hope it wasn’t offended.”

You will be pleased to know that there is a website dedicated to people who want to have sex with cars.

Of course there is. Why else was the internet invented?

Heck, I once wrote about a guy who was in a committed relationship with a car, so this is nothing new.

Just in case none of the above are stupid enough for you, allow me to introduce you to the wonderful Felix Becerra. This pinnacle of genetics is a manager at a McDonald’s. Where everyone know him. And knew him even better after he robbed the joint during business hours.

He wasn’t there for the overtime.

The manager of a Pleasanton, Calif., McDonald’s robbed his own store and then another at gunpoint, the Pleasanton Police Department said.

On Aug. 28 at 3 a.m., Felix Becerra, 42, allegedly donned a white mask and brandished “what appeared to be a small caliber revolver” to threaten employees at the drive-through window of the McDonald’s he ran. According to a police advisory, he forced three workers to open a safe in the office so he could take the money. The suspect then herded the employees into the freezer and ordered them to stay there for 30 minutes, escaping with an undisclosed amount of cash, the report said. No one was injured.

Becerra’s downfall was apparently attempting a similar heist Sept. 2 in San Mateo. Again he left with the money and no one was injured. This time, however, he was later apprehended in his vehicle by police and jailed. Cops say in the bulletin he fit the description of the suspect in the previous robbery and eventually confessed to both crimes.

The stolen money and a silver replica revolver were reportedly found in the car.

Becerra, also identified as Felix Jeronimo Gonzalez-Becerra in some reports, has pleaded not guilty to kidnapping and robbery in the San Mateo case, the Los Angeles Times reported, and he will be charged separately in the Pleasanton crime. He is being held without bail.

I bet he’s not getting a Happy Meal (TM) now.

Also, the next time he gets asked if wants to super size that it will be in a shower.

Yeah, that’s not good.

We close our tale of woe today with the story of Mr. Terry Antone Jenkins. Mr. Jenkins, and I use the term Mr. loosely here today, will be forever barred from possessing a man-card.

You won’t believe me. You’ll just have to read this yourself.

Family should always come first.

A South Carolina man is accused of assaulting his girlfriend during a three-way with her and her cousin.

Terry Antone Jenkins, 25, was charged with criminal domestic violence Saturday after police responded to an 8 a.m. call, WMBF News reports.

Jenkins’ girlfriend told the Horry County Police Officer who responded that she and her cousin were having a “threesome” and once Jenkins “finished,” the two female cousins continued to perform oral sex on each other, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun.

The kissin’ cousins angered Jenkins, according to the report. He allegedly grabbed his girlfriend’s hair and dragged her off of her relative before hitting her in the head and face and kicking her in the stomach. The officer noted a 3-inch scratch mark on the woman’s neck.

Jenkins, who claimed he did not hit either woman, was taken to jail. He was released the same day, and at 8 p.m., his girlfriend called police to say that Jenkins came to her home and attacked her again, hitting her in the chest before taking her cell phone and car.

Officials tracked Jenkins down and threw him in the slammer again on a second domestic violence charge, along with a charge of use of vehicle without consent.

Sometimes threeways go poorly even when the participants aren’t related. Last September, a Florida threesome went awry when one of the two women became jealous of the other and fired a gun into the ceiling. The chaos that ensued led to a SWAT team surrounding the house.

Let us count the problems with the above story, in reverse order;

(1) Sometimes threeways go poorly even when the participants aren’t related – That sentence should never exist.
(2) Oh wait, it’s a red state, never mind.
(3) Mr. Jenkins was living a Penthouse fantasy. Screwing up a night with 2 naked women is harder to do than screwing up a one car funeral.

A task for which Mr. Jenkins seems admirably prepared.

The good news is that everyone of our contestants today is legally eligible to vote.

Keep that in mind when someone says your vote doesn’t count.

Audrey Macavoy reports that the Matson Navigation Co. is whimsically killing thousands of fish and polluting the waters around Hawaii.

How’s that for whimsical?

Thousands of fish are expected to die in Honolulu waters after a leaky pipe caused 1,400 tons of molasses to ooze into the harbor and kill marine life, state officials said.

Hundreds of fish have been collected so far, the state Department of Health said in a statement Wednesday. Many more fish are expected to die and thousands will likely be collected, it said.

The fish are dying because the high concentration of molasses is making it difficult for them to breathe, said department spokeswoman Janice Okubo. Television footage shows some fish sticking their mouths out of the water.

The department has warned people to stay out of the area because the dead fish could attract sharks and other predators like barracuda.

The brown, sugary substance spilled Monday from a pipe used to load molasses from storage tanks to ships sailing to California. The shipping company, Matson Navigation Co., repaired the hole and the pipe stopped leaking Tuesday morning, spokesman Jeff Hull said.

As much as 233,000 gallons of molasses leaked into the harbor, Matson said. That’s equivalent to what would fill about seven rail cars or about one-third of an Olympic-sized swimming pool.

Underwater video taken by Honolulu television station Hawaii News Now showed dead fish, crabs and eels scattered along the ocean floor of the harbor and the water tinted a yellowish brown.

State officials expect the spill’s brown plume will remain visible for weeks as tides and currents flush the molasses in to nearby Keehi Lagoon and out to sea.

There’s a possibility the state could fine Matson for violations of Clean Water Act after the department investigates the circumstances of the spill, Okubo said. The state’s focus is currently on public safety, she said.

The state was documenting the fish it collected and keeping them on ice for possible testing. Officials were also collecting water samples. The data will allow the department to estimate the duration and severity of the contamination.

Matson ships molasses from Hawaii to the mainland about once a week. Molasses are a made at Hawaii’s last sugar plantation, run by Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar Co. on Maui.

Matson said in a statement it takes its role an environmental steward very seriously. The company is taking steps ensure spills don’t occur in the future, it said.

That’s right kids, that stuff you pour on your pancakes is lethal to other forms of life. And, to be honest, it’s not that good for you either.

Of course, nature has a way of evening things out. The Miami Herald is reporting that Pennsylvanian children are not allowed to play at their playground due to lethal amounts of chicken manure being present.

You just can’t make this stuff up.

A southwestern Pennsylvania borough has indefinitely closed a playground because of lingering contamination from a chicken manure spill last month.

The (Somerset) Daily American (http://bit.ly/18c0rNW ) reports the Meyersdale borough council voted Tuesday night to close the Paul E. Fuller playground.

The manure spilled on a hill above the playground Aug. 23, and water flows onto the playground when it rains, apparently carrying bacteria from the manure. Borough workers treated the area with lime, but say bacteria counts including salmonella haven’t decreased.

Councilman Roger Miller says his own unscientific methods have confirmed those findings saying, “My nose tells me there’s a problem out there.”

Miller asked a borough worker about the results of recent bacteria tests and says he was told, “You don’t want to know.”

Well, no Skippy, actually he does want to know. It’s his job to protect the public and he can’t do that if he has no clue how serious the threat is. Although, since salmonella can be fatal, no matter the dosage, I guess it doesn’t matter if it’s a little or a lot.

It’s still too much.

Now, this next story will make every stereotype you’re heard about Wisconsin seem kind. Milwaukee, home of a fun festival and a decent bar, is going to pour cheese on its streets this winter.

Milwaukee has literally been down this road before.

What could the city’s Department of Public Works mix with rock salt to deice its streets in the winter? Rock salt is plentiful and inexpensive, but concerns have been raised about its long term effects on roads and the environment.

This winter, public works crews will try mixing cheese brine with the rock salt. The brine is a liquid waste product left over from cheese making. The downside is its distinctive odor.

The city has experimented with anti-icing alternatives before. The Journal Sentinel (http://bit.ly/18SH4pm ) says beet juice used in 2009 turned into something resembling oatmeal when mixed with salt in the city’s trucks. Milwaukee has also used a molasses-type product as a deicer in the past. But, residents complained they were tracking the sticky stuff into their homes.

Road to hell? Meet good intentions. Good intentions? Meet road to hell.

Cheese brine is designed to grow mold. It’s a thick, saline based, solution that has a specific purpose. Since they will be using commercial brine that means they will be pouring thousands of gallons of this stuff on the streets where it can seep into sewers, under lawns and so on.

Did I mention that high saline concentrations kills foliage? No? I probably should have.

That whole “salted earth” thing isn’t an internet rumor. It has thousands of years of history to support it.

So, since the main concern (if you wheedle through the voluminous research) is that saline being flushed into the environment from rock salt can damage the environment then, obviously, doubling the amount of saline will solve everything.

I’m sure nothing will go wrong.

Of course, there’s no pleasing some folks. For example, the good Christians in Charleston West Virginia forced their pastor to resign because he helped bust a meth lab.

No, I’m not kidding.

A West Virginia pastor is being forced out of his church job for lending the church’s bus to law officers for a meth lab bust.

Chris Wilkinson said Wednesday he plans to resign as pastor of Morning Star Community Church at Hamlin. He says some church members were unhappy with his decision to let law enforcement use the bus.

Wilkinson is also Hamlin’s mayor and police chief. He says he has no regrets about lending the bus and would do it again.

Lincoln County chief sheriff’s deputy J.J. Napier says the church bus allowed officers to surprise the suspects.

Authorities made three arrests in last week’s bust. Napier says as officers piled out of the church bus, the reaction from the suspects was, “Oh God, they’ve got me.”

Just FYI, Proverbs 31:6 DOES NOT read “Give crack cocaine unto him that is ready to perish, and meth unto those that be of heavy hearts.”

I hope that clears up any future confusion.