SEX!!!!!!

Good technique, nice enthusiasm!
Good technique, nice enthusiasm!
Most people have, at one time or another, had sex. It’s part of our genetic makeup. Hell, it’s how we got our genetic makeup. Granted, there is a small percentage, under 1%, of humanity that considers themselves asexual, and that’s fine. That just leaves 99% for the rest of us. In fact, no matter how promiscuous you have been or may be, there are still billions of people you haven’t boinked. So don’t get too down on yourself. Still, our part of the world seems confused by sex. The TSA continues to confiscate the hand job enhancement kit known as the Shake Weight. I guess they’re terrified that someone might bust into the cockpit and scream “Take me to Cuba or I’ll yank your crank!” Say that whole sentence lovingly in your mind. It is truly a work of linguistic art. There are levels below levels hidden there. Of course, when beauty queens get arrested for bombing strangers, with actual bombs and not some cool allegory, maybe it’s time to put the whole beauty before brains thing to a merciful end. Becasue, quite bluntly, good sex happens in your head. Think of the best orgasms you’ve ever had. They’ve all happened when you’ve been mentally engaged. Whether by fantasy or by a great partner, that’s when good things happen. That’s probably part of the reason that there are 428,000,000 pages of porn produced in the US, compared to 2,000,000 in Australia. Due to our repressive leaders we need to get our kicks somewhere. In Australia they have lots of nude beaches. No need for porn if there’s nekkid peeps just down the block.

Of course, we are also a country founded on one of the great pillars of all western religions, charity. That’s why it makes perfect sense that Benevidz, a porn site, is raising money to help those in need.

Porn sites get a rise out of people, but they usually don’t raise money for charity.

That’s changing thanks to Benevidz.com, a new website where porn performers donate a percentage of what they earn, er, on the job, to the charity of their choice.

Performers — or “cam girls” — can donate between 10 and 15 percent of what they earn during a web performance, a solo show or doing an online chat.

Benevidz.com will match 50 percent of the amount earned by the sex workers, and that could be quite a lot, according to spokesman Michael Wondercub, 23, a Denver-based entrepreneur who claims the porn business is a $5 billion a year industry.

Wondercub’s estimate is quite speculative, since most porn companies are privately owned and don’t release financial data, according to Theo Sapoutzis, the CEO and Chairman of Adult Video News (AVN), a trade journal that covers the porn industry

Still, Wondercub figures if the site can capture 1/10th of 1 percent of the adult entertainment market, it could mean more than $1 million in charities get donated If successful, the company estimates its charitable contributions will top $1 million dollars each year per cause.

Wondercub isn’t just a college grad trying to make it in porn. He made money masturbating online while in school and found the experience positive.

“I liked doing it. It allowed me to express myself creatively while I was going to school,” Wondercub told The Huffington Post.

The inspiration for the porn-oriented charity site came from an unlikely source: an anti-animal cruelty PSA by singer Sarah MacLachlan.

“My friends and I were thinking about a start-up and looking for ideas,” he said. “When we saw Sarah MacLachlan on TV, we thought about doing porn for charity.”

That was the easy part, but with porn, there’s always a hard part. Wondercub and his partners are now trying to raise $15,000 in start-up costs via RocketHub.com, in hopes of getting the website ready for action by Oct. 30.

“We’d like to see 1,000 performers connected to the site within the first year,” he said.

The concept is arousing the interest of at least one webcam performer.

Paige Little, who does web-based sex shows from her home in the Midwest for a rival company Streamate, thinks Benevidz.com is a promising idea.

“I have known of many performers that have donated show proceeds to charity,” Little told HuffPost by email. “A whole network dedicated to charity would still need to stay creative in the content they provide in such a competitive market.

“Each performer and network has loyal followers and I hope that be the case with a network such as this.”

Wondercub said he’s getting interest from many webcam performers, and found six charities willing to accept money earned via masturbation videos.

“We have six charities so far,” he said. “We’re not announcing the names until the end of the month, but they range from animal shelters to groups that work with the homeless and to prevent domestic violence.”

But while performers might be willing to work with Benevidz.com, online charity expert Sean Steinmarc suspects numerous charities might be reluctant to accept money they knew was earned by online sex workers.

“People just can’t put up a logo of a non-profit and say they are donating to it,” Steinmarc told HuffPost. “They have to get permission to use the trademark. I imagine the majority of non-profits wouldn’t want to get involved. Some might accept the money anonymously.”

But Wondercub strongly believes that combining two basic human drives, altruism and a mind in the gutter, is the ticket to making the world a better place.

“By providing millions of viewers a safe, high-class, user-friendly option for online erotica, we hope to reach our goal of becoming one of the largest charitable contributors in the world,” he said, according to MedCityNews.com.

And the cool thing about this site is that the viewer need do nothing more than view. You have no idea how many guys can handle that task … as it were. And, ladies, you can get your bi-curious kink on in the safety of your own bedroom while making the world a better place. This is a win-win situation for all.

But maybe you’re not altruistic when you’ve got your horn on. That’s fine. Just head over to Zurich where you can hang out at the Sex Drive In.

Prostitution may be legal in Switzerland, but Zurich still wants to keep it off the streets.

In a bid to monitor the sex trade in the capital, the government opened Zurich’s first sex drive-in Thursday, the Agence France-Presse reports. The partially enclosed booth, located in an industrial part of the city, is one of nine that will be officially unveiled during a ceremony on Aug. 26.

Zurich first revealed its intention to open the “sex boxes” in November after residents approved the plan in a referendum vote. The city diverted 2.1 million Swiss francs (more than $2.2 million) to the project.

Similar to a car wash, drivers must first pass a checkpoint, where they will negotiate the rate, before proceeding to one of the nine booths for some private time. Each sex drive-in is equipped with an alarm so workers can immediately notify authorities in case of emergency. Security guards and social workers will also be on hand.

The sex stalls are expected to be open daily from 7 p.m. to 5 a.m. Women working at the drive-in will be required to pay for a permit and medical insurance, along with a nightly tax fee of five Swiss francs (about $5).

The set-up is part of an ongoing effort to regulate prostitution in the country. Last July, for example, the Swiss government amended its criminal code to make it illegal to pay a 16 or 17-year-old for sex.

“The big difference is that until now prostitution has been in the public space,” Michael Herzig of Zurich’s social welfare department told Swiss Radio last year, according to The Telegraph. “Now we are going to change this, move it from the street to a private space in an old industrial area, which belongs to the city. This gives us the possibility to define the rules of prostitution in this area.”

How far we’ve come from when I was kid. Back then if I wanted to have sex in a car I had to find a willing partner, a spot in the woods or behind a factory and pray that the cops didn’t make rounds that night. None of this communal boinking for me. Oh well, what can you do? Times change and tinted window sales are going to skyrocket in Switzerland.

But what if all of the above is too classy for you? What if you, like all of us, not only have had sex in a public bathroom but now want to make it a feature of your next first date? Well, I have good news for you sunshine. A guy named Matt Jones has set up a tour of public toi-tois for folks to frolic in. And it seems he’s going to get rich as sin off the idea.

A British dating website is attempting a new way of connecting singles that even they admit is crappy: Toilet dating.

The London-based site, DoingSomething.co.uk, is pairing up with a company called London Loo Tours to offer monthly “toilet nights.”

Toilet Dating combines a singles night with a pub crawl and a sightseeing tour of the city’s most interesting bathrooms, the Metro reported.

According to a press release, folks who sign up for the excrement-oriented event will endure tons of toilet puns and learning the ins and outs of toilet history from Roman times.

Participants will also learn tricks for finding free public restrooms in London.

DoingSomething founder Matt Janes is flush with excitement about the possibilities.

“Nothing would be more awkward than having a first date in a toilet… until now,” he said, according to Cosmopolitan.co.uk.

“We’ve given the London loo scene the ultimate DoingSomething.co.uk makeover and are encouraging Londoners to not be down in the dumps and try this new dating experience.”

As you might expect, toilet dating is inspiring a lot of cheeky responses, such as this one from a HuffPost UK blogger known as The Guyliner:

“I suppose it doesn’t hurt to start a date where most of them end up: swirling down the pan with the whiff of, well, let’s call it failure … I’d never be an advocate for couples lying about where they met, but I’d probably glam this one up a bit – I’m not sure even those mythical grandchildren we’re all saving up our stories to tell wouldn’t be that impressed. At least there will be alcohol.”

The next Toilet Dating session is set for Sept. 6 with others planned in the future. If the concept doesn’t crap out, there are plans to spread it to other cities with suitable public bathrooms.

And that slams the lid of this news leak.

I think this is a great idea. It gets all eh awkward stuff out of the way at the beginning and gives you some historical perspective with all the talk about Roman toilets. Like I said at the beginning, sex is all in your head. So if you’re getting smarter as you’re getting drunker you are due for an outstanding round of rumpus.

The Dwarves, “FEFU” from Robert Sexton on Vimeo.

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