Naked Ambitions?

So, it’s Friday. Just like it is every seven days. And you, being a respectable member of society, decide to emulate the legendary Stephen Gough and rip off all your clothes and walk around in public. And because you’re a family person who has all the attenuate responsibilities that come with a spouse and children, you decide to spend your life in jail rather than put your clothes back on. And, somehow, if you click the link and read his interview, he makes it all sound like a rational choice. Seriously, here is his fist experience walking to town naked after his wife left him for breakfasting naked and he was staying with his parents. “Nothing really happened. There was one man who shouted, ‘That’s disgusting!’ but he was eating a sandwich so I think that’s why. I was about to go into the covered market when the police arrived in a big rush.” Ah yes, it was the sandwich that did him in. Just FYI, there are many places on our fun planet where you are welcome to be as naked as you want to be. Where I’m eating lunch isn’t one of them.

Laila Kearney says that a guy in Frisco wasn’t content to just wander around in public naked. Nope, he also had to do gymnastics and terrorize a subway station.

A trained gymnast whose naked acrobatics and harassment of passengers at a San Francisco public transit station were captured on video and circulated widely on the Internet is facing criminal charges over his antics, authorities said on Tuesday.

Yeiner Alberto Perez Garizabalo, 24, was caught on video doing handstands and contortions on turnstiles and front flips off a concrete newsstand – all in the nude – at a Bay Area Rapid Transit District station on May 10.

Video that drew more than half a million hits on YouTube shows dozens of people watching idly or ignoring Garizabalo as he accosted at least three passengers during his gymnastics routine, putting a man in a headlock and charging two women before being arrested by BART police.

Garizabalo was committed to a nearby hospital after his arrest but no police report was filed and he was released the following day, said Stephanie Ong Stillman, spokeswoman for the San Francisco district attorney’s office.

He was rearrested on Monday, more than a month after videos of the incident went viral, on charges including felony false imprisonment, misdemeanor battery and misdemeanor sexual battery. He was being held on $100,000 bail and was due in court on Tuesday afternoon to face the charges, Stillman said.

Garizabalo was a member of the ClownSnotBombs Circus, an acrobatic performance troupe in Berkeley. He dropped out of the group shortly before the BART station incident.

“(Garizabalo’s) memory of the incident … does not match what happened in the video,” Kristen Parks and other members of ClownSnotBombs said in an email to Reuters.

“When asked to describe what he remembers in his own words, he describes being in a play where everyone was actors. (He) does not remember attacking anyone,” she said, adding that the troupe believes Garizabalo may be suffering from a psychological disorder.

Parks said Garizabalo had since watched the video of his behavior at the BART station. “Now that he has seen the video and understands the gravity of what really happened he feels both guilty and horrible for what he has done,” Parks said.

Officials from the public defender’s office were not immediately available to comment, and the office could not confirm that his case had been assigned to one of its lawyers.

Okay, I have no idea what was going on in his mind or what wonderful substances he’d ingested to get to that happy state of being, but he really should have shared.

CBS News in Albany New York says that getting naked with adults is so passe. Aydrea Meyers upped the ante by getting naked while dancing with children at a school.

Police say Aydrea Meaders, a mother who allegedly got on stage and started to strip during a school assembly, is facing child endangerment and lewdness charges.

Albany police say the 24-year-old Meaders was arrested at North Albany Academy on Friday morning.

They say school staff told them the assembly was halted and the cafeteria cleared after Meaders began dancing onstage and took off some of her clothes.

She is charged with seven counts of endangering the welfare of a child and one count of public lewdness.

An Albany City Court clerk says Meaders was arraigned Friday afternoon and ordered held on $3,000 bail. She doesn’t have a lawyer yet.

The North Albany Academy is a prekindergarten through eighth grade school in the Albany district.

On the plus side, I bet that got kids to talk to their parents. On the downside, that conversation is going to redefine the word “awkward.”

But it’s still an easier conversation than the one our next story inspired.

Robby Soave reports that a teacher was conducting an experiment on the effects of sexual arousal and vocal chords.

However, since the experiment was limited to one student, he was fired and is being sued.

A vocal instructor at a community college in Washington allegedly asked a female high school student to remove her clothes during lessons, and later masturbated while she played the piano.

The woman, who was 17 years old at the time and earning college credit as a high school student, sued the teacher, Kevin Gausepohl, for taking advantage of her sexually. She also sued the state of Washington on the grounds that Tacoma Community College (TCC) failed to protect her.

Gausepohl claimed that he was studying how sexual arousal interacts with vocal range. The woman said she removed some of her clothes and touched herself upon his request.

At another session, he masturbated while she practiced the piano, she charges.

The college investigated accusations of sexual misconduct made by several students against Gausepohl in 2011.

“These students became concerned that defendant Gausepohl was sexually exploiting the plaintiff, and they reported it to TCC authorities in the spring of 2011,” the lawsuit says, according to The Bellingham Herald.

Officials concluded that he had likely violated the college’s sexual harassment policies, and terminated him. Criminal prosecutors agreed not to pursue charges if he broke no more laws for a year. Gausepohl complied with the orders, though he vigorously maintained that he was innocent.

Most students gave Gausepohl positive reviews on the teacher rating site ratemyprofessor.com, though one accused the vocal instructor of having “a problem with disciplining his class and being a friend instead of an instructor.” Several other reviews mentioned that he behaved more like a friend than a teacher.

Gausepohl is also a religious leader at Blaine Memorial United Methodist Church, according to The Daily Mail.

Seriously, don’t do it again and all is forgiven? Is the Washington State legal system run by demented howler monkeys?

Kids, a bit of advice from your weird uncle Big Bad. If an adult, who is not your doctor, asks you to remove your clothes, you are allowed to say no. If any one asks you to touch yourself, or to be allowed to touch you, then you are allowed to use that ubiquitous cell phone you use to pollute Facebook with duck face photos and call the cops.

Cops are happy to answer those calls. Really. That kind of stuff makes their day. So, avoid being assaulted by making a cop happy.

And happy cops mean less crazy naked people walking around your mall.

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