Archives for May 2013

When I was a younger B3 I played team sports in school. I wasn’t real good at any of them but I tried, I had fun and I made friends. Which, when we’re discussing kids is probably the more valuable experience. Of course there was that one kid that everyone could tell was special. The kid who had real talent. And you all remember what parents and coaches would say to that kid; “You’d better keep your grades up or you’ll never get into college and be able to go pro.” And it was, and still is, true. Most colleges require a 2.3 (out of 4.0), or a C+/B-, grade point average (GPA) in the core curricula; reading, writing, arithmetic, history and science. But high school sports have become big money. It’s not just football in Texas anymore. Kids all over the country are playing in larger stadiums, in front of larger crowds and on local television. I was in upstate New York a while back and high school Lacrosse was on every TV in town. Anyway, here in Illinois, kids are only required to maintain a 0.8 GPA to participate in sports. I’ll put it this way, if the kid was taking 5 courses he or she could fail 2 and get D’s in the other 3 and they would be eligible to play in the current IHSA system. The Rockford school system earned the wrath of thousands for allegedly lowering their academic requirements for kids to play sports. They did no such thing. All they did was eliminate their requirements and use the IHSA’s and the state’s.

I bring all this up since the article I am going to cite today deals with the Oklahoma school system and I wanted to be clear that I’m not piling on Oklahoma. They have enough going on and don’t need any more grief. However, this article is one of the best I’ve read on the overall problem and it deserves to be shared. Jonathan Braden, of the Omaha World-Herald, takes a look at the potential impact if the state raises the minimum grade requirement to a C from a D-.

If the Omaha Public Schools required student-athletes to maintain a 2.0 grade-point average, hundreds of teenagers who played high school sports last year likely would have been ineligible.

OPS data show that 464 football players, wrestlers and other athletes had GPAs lower than 2.0 at the end of last school year. That was just more than 16 percent, or one of every six OPS high school athletes.

A minimum 2.0 GPA — a C average — also would disproportionately affect black and low-income student athletes, based on the data. One-third of the district’s black athletes would have been ineligible last school year.

About a quarter of the district’s athletes whose families qualified for federal lunch subsidies earned less than 2.0 GPAs last year. The subsidies provide an indicator of poverty.

The idea of a minimum GPA came up in March, when board member Justin Wayne suggested one for students participating in sports and other extracurricular activities. To gauge the impact of the idea, The World-Herald requested data from the district to show how a minimum 2.0 GPA would affect student-athletes. The data did not name students, nor did it break down numbers by varsity versus other teams.

Wayne said he suggested the GPA requirement because too many OPS athletes have the talent to play in college but don’t have the grades.

Such a policy would affect OPS teams and schools unevenly, based on the OPS data. Among the biggest impacts:

» Seventeen of the 97 members of Central’s boys basketball program (including freshman and junior varsity teams) would have been unable to play under the rule. Central’s varsity team took state last year.

» At Northwest High, almost 54 percent of the football team would have had to sit out. In fact, almost 30 percent of the school’s athletes would have been disqualified.

» At Benson, a quarter of the athletes wouldn’t have qualified.

Such a requirement would be tougher than the state demands. Districts elsewhere, as well as some states, have implemented similar academic requirements, with mixed results.

Nationally, it will soon get harder to qualify academically and play sports at college. In fall 2016, incoming freshmen wanting to play Division I athletics immediately will need a 2.3 GPA in their core classes, such as English, science and math.

Wayne suggested the new policy before OPS made its data available, but he said the numbers reinforce his desire to make a change.

“It reaffirms that we must have it — a minimum GPA requirement — along with the support systems to make sure kids are successful,” said Wayne, who hasn’t put a formal proposal before the board.

Support systems could include an expanded high school tutoring program or extra support for student-athletes, Wayne said.

The suggestion comes as research consistently shows that students involved in athletics and other activities, particularly youths from low-income families, are more likely to get better grades and stay in school.

“Certainly you want to have standards for kids,” said Lisa Kort-Butler, an assistant professor of sociology at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, who has studied the effects of extracurricular activities on students. “(But) you don’t want to take away other things that make them feel like they’re part of school.”

Nearly all the OPS board candidates in Tuesday’s election told The World-Herald they favored a minimum GPA for participation in extracurricular activities, although a few said that before weighing in, they wanted more information on how it would affect students.

Jill Brown, who is challenging Wayne, said she would vote against such a proposal as a board member.

“This just seems like a random policy without a vision,” Brown said.

She questioned limiting extracurricular activities for students when research shows students involved in them have more self-confidence and attend school more regularly. Brown, an associate professor of developmental psychology at Creighton University, said that in a district with 50,000 students, she’d worry about bigger issues.

Making wrestlers and speech contestants maintain a 2.0 GPA would be much tougher than the current requirements at OPS high schools.

Like other Nebraska public and private high schools, OPS rules match the eligibility guidelines of the Nebraska School Activities Association: Get at least a D in four classes the previous semester. (Most OPS students take seven classes each semester.)

Under the current guidelines, a student could get four D’s and three F’s and still be eligible.

“That basically equates to a half-day of work,” said Deb Velder, associate director of the NSAA.

Velder said she is not aware of any effort to strengthen the state’s requirements during her 32 years with the NSAA.

Some coaches ask more of their athletes than the NSAA requires.

Doug Woodard, boys basketball coach at Bellevue West, periodically checks students’ grades. If a student is performing worse than his potential, he might have to go after school — during practice time — to get help from a teacher.

Woodard agrees with Wayne that the state eligibility standards could be raised. But he said OPS would be better off getting NSAA-member schools to change the state guidelines.

Any statewide change would have to go through the organization’s legislative process, which includes getting the support of the majority of schools in three of the NSAA’s six districts.

A prominent OPS soccer coach echoed Woodard’s comments, saying the requirements could be tougher, but change them for everyone.

At the same time, Joe Maass, soccer coach at Omaha South for 15 years, said the 2.0 GPA standard would be met if it were implemented. More than 80 percent of South’s soccer players had GPAs above 2.0 at the end of last school year, according to OPS data.

In addition to the 2.0 GPA requirement, he said, high schools could make students sit out if they’re failing two classes during the semester.

Wayne said he initially requested GPA data on OPS athletes from district staff in October. He said he was told that his request was denied because the data would have identified students.

In January, Wayne asked that the topic of athletic eligibility be placed on a board committee agenda for discussion.

In March, during a board committee discussion, Wayne mentioned requiring a 2.0 GPA or a 2.3 GPA for students involved in extracurricular activities.

At the time, some OPS board members questioned the wisdom of OPS unilaterally changing its requirements. Students who didn’t qualify to play in OPS could simply transfer to another district.

“We don’t want to have an unintended consequence of losing students,” Marian Fey, OPS board president, said in a recent phone interview.

School districts and some states have adopted similar policies, with differing results.

Officials with some states say the policy hasn’t harmed participation, while others blamed the 2.0 GPA requirement for leading to smaller athletic teams.

Florida and California have long required student-athletes to have 2.0 GPAs.

“It’s not declining participation or anything. A 2.0 is still very, very doable,” said Corey Sobers, spokesman for the Florida High School Athletic Association.

Approaches in other areas:

» In some states, including Iowa, students must pass all their classes to be eligible. Individual school districts also can have tougher standards than the state minimum.

» For decades, the Kansas City Public Schools have required a minimum 2.0 GPA to participate in athletics, tougher than required by the Missouri State High School Activities Association.

» The Rockford, Ill., Public Schools, half the size of OPS but similar in demographics, tried a similar system but dropped it. District officials said the requirement decreased student involvement and didn’t increase graduation rates.

Matt Vosberg, district assistant superintendent in Rockford, said some students took easier classes, such as two physical education classes instead of an Advanced Placement course, to ensure they got a 2.0. Other students just sat out of sports, he said, and Rockford’s teams struggled.

“After you implement it, you realize there are some unintended consequences to it,” Vosberg said.

Rockford dropped the 2.0 mark in favor of making students pass five classes, which is now also the guideline of the Illinois High School Association.

Two years later, Vosberg said, the number of Rockford students taking at least one Advanced Placement course has increased 30 percent, and the number of students in high school athletics has jumped, although specific numbers weren’t available.

Students from low-income families, which are prevalent in both OPS and Rockford, benefit the most from extracurricular activities, said Kort-Butler, the UNL sociologist. Students who are involved are more likely to stay in school.

“Having this connection to school through extracurricular activities helps, in a sense, buffer against some of those other things in their lives,” she said.

When those kids become young adults, she said, they’re more likely to avoid risky behaviors, such as substance abuse.

Maass, at South High, said he has had students with GPAs close to 2.0 who stayed in school because of soccer and later went to college.

Wayne said he’s aware of the role extracurricular activities play in kids’ lives and that some kids attend school only because of them. Close friends of his dropped out after not making Omaha high school basketball teams.

That’s why any changes for OPS would be phased-in, he said, and be accompanied by a strong support system for student-athletes.

He said he brought up the idea to get people talking about academics and athletics.

“The purpose of it was to start a discussion,” he said, “and make sure all of our student-athletes are being successful.”

And that’s the other side of the sword, sports do help keep kids out of trouble. That is the time honored reason for funding athletics, and it’s true. The problem is what does society do with an 18 year old kid who can’t read past the fourth grade level? There isn’t a long line of potential employers looking for that particular skill set. So you are stuck with a kid who’s stayed out of trouble, is a good human being and who would be stymied by the requirements needed to be a busboy.

I’m sorry, I meant busser.

Whatever the term, the skill set is probably beyond them.

All you need to do is watch the news to see how that’s working out.

I’m not smart enough to know what the solution is, maybe a combination of increased GPA minimums and increased support for these kids. Whatever the answer is, the smart people better find it fast.

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A while back I wrote about Miguel Alcubierre. He was the fun loving scientist who figured out how faster than light travel was possible without violating Einstein’s laws. He did this despite finding out that Jason Richwine said he didn’t have the intelligence of white, native, Americans. If I take that statement literally I think it means that Cochise was white. Which I am going to guess is a fact that will come as a shock to his generational progeny. Anyway, idiots aside, Miguel figured it out. But he was stymied by the fact that infinite speed required infinite energy. Harold White, no relation to Cochise, is a scientist at NASA and he thinks he may have figured out a way to make it all work. Way to go Harold!! Basically Harold’s idea comes down to this; shape the warp field like a doughnut and the energy requirements drop dramatically. The math behind that oversimplification would fill 1,000 blogs so I’ll just smile and agree with him. You should too.

Okay, now that we have that out of the way, what would happen if someone did actually build the damn thing?

Well, if Discover News is correct, it could mean the end of all life on Earth.

It’s not as easy as Star Trek makes it look

“Star Trek” makes faster-than-light travel look easy, but according to new calculations by Italian physicists, a warp drive could easily create a black hole that would incinerate any passengers on a space craft and then suck Earth into a black hole.

“Warp drives are so far the best case scenario to attain faster-than-light travel,” said Stefano Finazzi of Italy’s International School for Advanced Studies. This paper “makes it much harder to realize, if not almost impossible, warp drives.”

In normal physics, nothing can move faster than the speed of light. Einstein’s theory of relativity forbids it. In normal space any object approaching the speed of light will increase in mass exponentially, and require an exponential increase in the amount of power needed to propel it forward.

There are two exceptions to this rule however. The first is what’s commonly called a worm hole, a bridge connecting two different parts of space. A ship crossing this bridge would move at below light speed, but still arrive before a beam of light that would have had to go the long way around.

Warp drives are the second and more appealing option. A ship can’t move through space faster than the speed of light. But with enough energy, space itself can move faster than the speed of light.

Known for the Mexican physicist Michael Alcubierre who originally developed the idea in the 1990’s, an Alcubierre warp drive would create a bubble of energy behind the ship and a lack of energy in front of the ship, like a giant cosmic wave a space ship could surf. That particular section of space can travel faster than the speed of light in the surrounding space, and anything on or in that bubble will accelerate with it.

Finazzi and his colleagues propose creating this bubble of space-time by using a massive amount of “exotic matter,” or dark energy. (Exactly how this bubble would be created is still a mystery.) According to their calculations and simplified, it would take a huge amount of energy to create the bubble, and then increasing amounts of energy to contain the highly repulsive dark energy.

Eventually the energy would run out. The bubble would rupture, with catastrophic effects. Inside the bubble the temperature would rise to about 10^32 degrees Kelvin, destroying almost anything on the bubble.

Anyone watching the ship nearby wouldn’t be much better off.

“We know that the warp drive will be destabilized,” said Finazzi. “But we do not know if it will in the end explode or collapse to a black hole.”

Other physicists agree with the Italians’ calculations, up to a point.

“It’s a good paper; their results are sound,” said Gerald Cleaver, a professor of physics at Baylor University who reviewed the work. The results make sense, at least, when creating warp drive using exotic matter in a universe where 1 plus 1 equals 2.

In a universe where 1 plus 1 equals 3, a possibility with string theory instead of the semi classical physics used by the Italians, a stable warp drive is viable.

Last year Cleaver and co-author Richard Obousy detailed a string theory-based warp drive that creates a bubble of space time by expanding one of the tiny, rolled-up dimensions (instead of a bubble of dark energy) predicted by string theory.

The biggest sticking point to a extra dimension-based warp drive? The entire mass of Jupiter would have to be converted into pure energy to power it.

The real question is not whether a warp drive, which by Cleaver’s estimate is hundreds of years away, will be stable or not. It’s about the fundamentals of the universe; do we live in a universe where 1 plus 1 equals 2 or 3? Until scientists can answer that question, there will be significant limitations on scientific models of the universe.

“These papers suggest limitations to what we can and can’t do,” said Cleaver. “We as scientists enjoy these papers because then we can look for ways to get around those limitations.”

I know, I know, you’re asking how you can convert the mass of a planet to pure energy. You’ll be pleased to know that there’s an easy way to do it. Just click here if you’re curious.

Obviously the science behind all of this is in its infancy, which means it will change innumerable times before anything gets set in stone (that being how science works), but it will be cool as hell to follow this as it develops.

Until they get it right, take a moment to enjoy one vision of what interstellar hip hop might be like.

PASSALACQUA – “Sirens” from Colin Duerr

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Last year, after a lengthy court battle, Greek courts ruled that residents of the Isle of Lesbos could not sue women who called themselves lesbians. Yes, that was a real lawsuit. And, yes, that was a real result. So, now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on to other women’s issues. As the more astute among you may have noticed, despite the fact that I really, really like the feminine form, I am not a woman. Yet, despite that horrid shortcoming, I can, and do, sympathize with the plight of women in our modern society. Erik Berkowitz has a brilliant article about how modern attempts to limit women’s ability to control their bodies would fit in well with the Roman oppressions that required women to please their husbands no matter what. Which led to the Apostle Peter heading up the strangest feminist movement ever which, pretty much, led the Romans to martyr him. As Erik notes, “The recent comment of the Fox News guest Rev. Jesse Lee Petersen, that “Wherever women are taking over, evil reigns,” would have been well received in the Roman senate, the Greek agora, or most halls of religious power in Europe.” That is especially true since there are no, as in zero, facts to support Rev. Petersen’s claim. In the history of matriarchies they have never, as in “not once,” started a war. Although they did end a few.

However, lately, as LGBT rights become more a part of our everyday lives I can easily see why some women might just throw their hands in the air and, as Ellen DeGeneres once famously noted, earn a girlfriend a toaster.

Recently, TV Evangelist Pat Robertson took some time out of his busy day filled with gay bashing and hate mongering to remind women that everything that is wrong with their married lives is their fault.

Pat Robertson has many opinions on subjects including homosexuality, politics and the coming of the Mark of the Beast, but it was the famous televangelist’s opinion on marriage that took center stage during Wednesday’s episode of his daily television program, “The 700 Club.”

Responding to a question from a viewer, Robertson said that married men “have a tendency to wander” and it is the spurned wife’s job to focus on the positive and make sure the home is so enticing, he doesn’t want to stray.

“I’ve been trying to forgive my husband for cheating on me,” the viewer writes. “We have gone to counseling, but I just can’t seem to forgive, nor can I trust. How do you let go of the anger? How do you trust again?”

While Robertson’s co-host hedged on the question, calling forgiveness “difficult” and spousal infidelity “one of the ultimate betrayals,” Robertson got right to the point.

“Here’s the secret,” the famous evangelical said. “Stop talking the cheating. He cheated on you, well, he’s a man.”

The wife needs to focus on the reasons she married her spouse, he continued.

“Does he provide a home for you to live in,” Robertson said. ‘Does he provide food for you to eat? Does he provide clothes for you to wear? Is he nice to the children… Is he handsome?”

Robertson also offered a little advice on the “tendency of man.”

“Recognize also, like it or not, males have a tendency to wander a little bit,” Robertson said. “What you want to do is make a home so wonderful that he doesn’t want to wander” or give in to the “salacious” magazine pictures and Internet filled with porn.

This is certainly not Robertson’s first foray into anecdotal marital counseling, however.

In January, Robertson told viewers that “awful-looking” women can cause marriages to lose their spark.

“It just isn’t something to just lie there, ‘Well, I’m married to him so he’s got to take me slatternly looking,'” he said. “You’ve got to fix yourself up, look pretty.”

Similarly, in 2010 the host advised a woman complaining about her husband’s flirtatious ways not to “hassle him about it” and just make herself as attractive as possible.

He also once told a husband upset that his wife didn’t respect him that he could always just “become a Muslim and you could beat her.”

That’s right ladies, it’s not because your husband’s a dick, it’s because your not servicing his dick. Of course, as a Minister of Christ there is no way any of us could expect him to know the teachings of the Apostle Peter or …. oh, wait.

But it’s not just religious jerks who give women fits. Dr. J. Peter Zegarra recently told a woman with a pronounced gag reflex to blow her hubby twice a week until she could control it so she could have her needed procedure.

No, I am not making this up either.

Dr. Deep Throat, I presume?

J. Peter Zegarra, a California doctor, has been publicaly reprimanded by the state’s medical board after he told a patient to practice oral sex on her husband. The patient had expressed concerns her gag reflex would interfere with an upper-gastrointestinal endoscopy, according to CBS affiliate KOVR.

The patient, an unidentified woman, complained that the Sacramento-based colo-rectal surgeon told her to practice oral sex on her husband “twice a week” prior to the procedure as a way of allaying the reflex.

According to CBS Sacramento, Zegarra made the suggestion in front of the woman and her husband “several years ago.” The station also noted Zegarra had tried twice to expunge the complaint from the public record. Zegarra’s name appears on a summary of administrative actions taken by the California board of medicine in 2007.

CBS Sacramento reports that a spokesperson for the state board of medicine called the doctor’s suggestion inappropriate, even if it was meant as a joke.

As a matter of perspective, doctors have been caught doing much worse than dispensing questionable advice.

In September 2012, an Illinois doctor faced federal charges after he allegedly traded prescription drugs for sexual favors from 30 different patients. According to ABC affiliate KCRG, Dr. David Gierlus’ sexual encounters with patients ranged from “oral sex, both during medical appointments and outside the office in [his] vehicle, to intercourse in the examination room during medical appointments.”

In April 2012, a British general practitioner went before a medical counsel to face allegations from three female patients, who made separate complaints about his conduct between 2003 and 2005. One patient complained that the family doctor had molested her and had sex with her several times on his surgery table during appointments, claiming that it would “help save her marriage.”

Although suspensions are common in cases like these, they aren’t always permanent. In August 2012, a Lodi, Calif., doctor had his license reinstated by a judge, despite the doctor’s admitting to taking mood-altering inhalants and masturbating in his office. Opponents of the decision called it an example of the California medical board’s “lax approach to getting rid of doctors who pose a harm to patients.”

Yes, those are real doctors. You are supposed to be able to trust them. You take your family to them to heal their ills, not create more.

That’s a soapbox for another day.

Nevertheless, as I said earlier, I wouldn’t blame a woman if, after attempting to fit in with modern society, she just said the hell with it and handed out that toaster.

Or a bicycle. That’s an acceptable alternative as well.

Best Bike Rental (Director’s version) . from Stason bros.

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We’ve all been there. The one night stand that was not a very good idea. Whether the date was “Coyote Ugly” (so ugly you’d chew your arm off rather than wake him/her) or that downward spiral of realizing you were trapped with ten pounds of crazy stored in a five pound bag, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’ve been there. As have I. However, there are people who don’t quite grasp the concept of leaving. Of walking out the door, catching a cab, going to breakfast and pretending this never happened. Even if something shows up on You Tube, you just deny, deny, deny. For whatever reasons, and I blame meth or home schooling or some combination of both, some people seem to think these magical first dates are the start of something wonderful. They are wrong, often horribly so, but that is what they think.

Therefore today is a cautionary tale for those of you who find yourselves in that age old awkward situation.

Police in Manatee County report that a a 19 year old girl wanted sex. When her boy friend and father of her child begged off she did the only logical thing. She tried to bite off his penis.

As Krystle M. Harrison and her boyfriend were lying in bed Wednesday evening, the 19-year-old Bradenton woman began touching him, wanting some nookie, according to an arrest affidavit from the Manatee County Sheriff’s Office.

The couple have been in a dating relationship for about 3-years and have an infant child, according to the arrest report.

After the beau turned Harrison down –several times — she grabbed him and bit his penis, the affidavit stated.

The boyfriend then pushed Harrison away and went outside, where she continued to argue with her sweetie and scratched his chest, the deputy reported.

The boyfriend refused to complete a sworn affidavit and told the deputy that he didn’t want to “press charges” against his girlfriend, who was then taken to the slammer.

These two have spawned. You have been warned.

But what happens if the boy toy does do the deed but doesn’t do it well enough? Police in Bradenton (which is in Manatee County) say the nice young lady politely beat the snot out of her beloved.

Raquel Gonzalez, 24, and her boyfriend were having some afternoon delight at their East Bradenton home when Gonzalez allegedly began to scratch her boyfriend’s face because she was not satisfied with the sex, according to the sheriff’s office, reports the Bradenton Herald.

Gonzalez told deputies that she had “scratches on me too from where he tried to restrain me when I lost it,” according to the report.

Ah yes the old “It’s okay because he tried to stop me” defense. Ah, what the hell? It’s Florida so it may just work.

Of course the Police in Bradenton (there is something seriously wrong in this town) say that the situation is much worse when a cougar is involved.

Guess they just can’t get no satisfaction in the Bradenton area.

Jennie Lyn Scott, 50, allegedly struck her 32-year-old boyfriend after he reportedly “finished first and stopped pleasuring her,” reports The Smoking Gun.

Deputies said alcohol was a most definitely a factor and the Palmetto woman had been uspet with her lover because she had reportedly “heard [him] having sex with another woman over the phone earlier.”

Go ahead, read that one again. Savor the subtle nuances. She heard him having phone sex with another woman so she wanted to have sex with him. This is a first for me. I will have to try it and see if I can get a cougar too.

Of course, it’s not just Bradenton. It’s endemic to all of Florida. Police in Stuart found our next couple of the year.

There’s a price to being a refusenik.

Just ask this woman’s boyfriend.

Stacey Ann Ortiz’s boyfriend, clad only in his underwear, reportedly told Port St. Lucie that they had been drinking at a friend’s home earlier. When they got home he said he wanted to watch TV — but she wanted sex, according to the arrest affidavit, reports Will Greenlee in his Off the Beat blog for TCPalm.com in Stuart.

And in Coral Springs …..

Inez Nunez’s boyfriend had called the cops and reported Nunez hit him in the face and pushed him because he said she was “ugly” and refused to have sex with her, reports the South Florida Sun-Sentinel.

The boyfriend’s father reported he had heard a slap and saw Nunez pushing his son and fighting with him on the floor. Nunez told police she did slap and push her boyfriend because he was disrespectful, according to the arrest report.

The 18-year-old Coral Springs woman added that he had choked her and punched her in the chest, but later changed her story, the report stated.

If she’s ugly now she was ugly then. So, in this case, I bear little sympathy for the young man. He knew what he was getting into the second she let him get into it.

But what happens if the guys do escape the clutches of their overanxious paramours? According to the Police in Ocala, that’s when things get really bad.

Law enforcement officers said two mothers left their young children alone at the beach at Gator Joe’s Bar and Grill on Mother’s Day while they took a boozy tour on Lake Weir.

Billie Jean Williams, 27, and Mary Joyce Daffron, 28, were arrested and accused of leaving their children, 8 and 6 respectively, at Gator Joe’s, at 12431 SE 135th Ave., Ocklawaha. The children approached staff of the restaurant and told them they could not find their mothers and suspected they had left them, according to Marion County Sheriff’s Office reports.

After a deputy arrived, the children said they were playing on the beach when they noticed their mothers were missing. The women’s chairs and belongings were found undisturbed on the beach, reports state.

A man, who only gave his name as “John,” told deputies he knew one of the women from high school and had run into her Sunday. He said he had seen her and the other woman get on a boat at least an hour before, according to reports.

The boat on which the women left was eventually spotted approaching the beach. As the vessel neared Gator Joe’s, both women, who were highly intoxicated, fell into the water as they tried to get off the boat, reports state.

Williams began yelling at her 8-year-old due to having law enforcement called, reports state. The women said they had been gone only 10 minutes and the children were left under the supervision of the 8-year-old’s “godfather.”

Officers later discovered the “godfather” was, in fact, the man named John, whose last name neither woman knew. The 8-year-old said Sunday was the first time they had ever met John, reports state.

It was determined the children were left alone for almost an hour while the women went drinking on the boat, according to reports.

The women were both arrested just before 5 p.m. Daffron tried to pull away from officers and was thrown to the ground and handcuffed, reports said.

The children were placed in the care of relatives.

Williams and Daffron were booked into the Marion County Jail on one count each of child neglect. Daffron was additionally charged with resisting arrest without violence.

Williams was released Sunday night after posting $5,000 bond. Daffron remained at the jail Monday evening with bail set at $5,500.

Yes, you read that right. They spent Mother’s Day abandoning their young children in a bar so they could hit a booze cruise.

Of course the obvious question is “Where were all these psycho horny women when I needed them?”

And then the obvious prayer is “Thank you God for letting me dodge those bad decisions.”

But, if you do find yourself in a similar situation, it might be safer to Just Say Yes.

Forget Your Head by InAshton (long version) from Simon Bolz on Vimeo.

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The world has never needed an electric dog polisher. That hasn’t stopped someone from inventing one but my soul is heartened by the fact that it didn’t sell well. Although I am saddened that it sold at all. History is littered idea that should never have made it out of the bar. And you know that all of these ideas were hatched in bars. It is the only excuse for the brilliant children’s toy, Boner the Humping Dog. No, that’s not a typo. How about the beginner’s guide to Russian Roulette? You know, so you can get in a few practice rounds before you play with live rounds. Of course I would be remiss if I didn’t mention a dumb idea that could actually kill people, the Krummlauf, a fun machine gun that could shoot around corners. It was wildly inaccurate and kicked like a mule so any results that were close to what you wanted were entirely random events. You’d have had better luck throwing bullets at people. Naturally governments are still trying to make one that works.

All of the ideas above are bad, that’s easy enough to admit. However some ideas aren’t content to be just bad, and verily I doth warn you, they want to drag the soul of humanity into the gutter whence they spawned.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the life-size Barbie’s Dream House.

Of course it’s in Florida, why do you even bother to ask?

Barbie has opened her new dream house to visitors, and it’s not just young girls who are excited about checking it out.

The 10,000-square-foot “Barbie The Dreamhouse Experience” building has opened at Sawgrass Mills mall in Sunrise, Fla., beckoning to kids and adult Barbie collectors alike with a giant closet, bedroom, kitchen and more, all covered in Barbie’s signature pink.

Marl Davidson, a longtime Barbie collector and the owner of fashion doll-seller Marl & B Inc. in Bradenton, Fla., is definitely planning on making the trip south to check out the Barbie Dreamhouse, which took two years to build. There are only two in the world — the other opens this week in Berlin, Germany.

“I’ve been doing this for 26 years, and I’ve never seen anything like (The Dreamhouse Experience),’’ Davidson told TODAY.com. “When it comes to Barbie, anything goes. She always brings backs the warm fuzzies, usually a little girl’s first gift is a Barbie doll.”

The building includes rooms filled with Barbie dolls along the walls, a staff on hand that will glam up visitors, Barbie-style, and several interactive features.

The opening of the Barbie Dreamhouse Experience in Berlin, was greeted Thursday with peaceful protest by German feminists calling themselves “Occupy Barbie Dreamhouse,” who believe it portrays a sexist image of women. As of yet, there have been no protests involved with the opening of the Barbie building in Florida.

“The Dreamhouse Experience marks the first time fans are able to experience Barbie’s dream life first hand,’’ Lori Pantel, vice president of global marketing for Barbie, said in a statement to TODAY.com. “We are pleased with attendance and look forward to more fans creating memorable moments with the Barbie brand.”

While Barbie lore places her fictional home in located in Malibu, Calif., a particularly large contingent of Barbie collectors can be found Florida. The most recent national convention for Barbie enthusiasts was held in Fort Lauderdale, and the state is also the home of Stanley Colorite, 41, known as “The Barbie Man” for his collection of more than 3,000 Barbie and Ken dolls at his home in Hudson, Fla.

“There are a lot of people in Florida that are collectors,’’ Davidson said. “The convention was fabulous, and there is a lot of enthusiasm here in the state.”

A possible challenge for Mattel, the company that owns the Barbie brand, could be convincing visitors to return and generate repeat business.

“If this is that wonderful, I think people will want to keep going back because some people just can’t get enough of Barbie,’’ Davidson said. “They eat it, drink it, sleep it. They’re obsessed.”

Stanley Colorite, mentioned above, is more than just a whack job who owns 2,000 Barbies and 1,000 Kens. Although that doesn’t diminish the fact that he is a whack job.

Click on the pic to see the full image. Yes, Stanley only wears Barbie colors and he’s living with a man who looks like a typical Irish grandpa. I’m sure parties their are lots of fun.

My friend, Kritsy Kay, is the voice of Barbie on all those DVDs poor moms are forced to endure. So, when you buy one, at least feel comforted that you’re supporting a really nice person.

Still, it seems that devoting 10,000 square feet to a Pepto colored monstrosity is a little odd. And exactly what kind of people will it attract? Well, Barbies are marketed to very young girls,about 3 years old to start, and they are marketed more heavily in rural areas and big box retailers.

In other words hundreds of thousands of Honey Boo Boo wanna-be’s will be descending on Sunrise, Florida.

A city which sports one shopping mall and a KISS tribute band.

Oh, screw it, they’ll never even notice.

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