It is often claimed, wrongly, that the Vatican has the world’s largest porn collection. Given the many troubles besieging the church these days I thought Catholics should get some good news. By the way, the word Gospel is Greek for Good News. Nevertheless, it is refreshing to know that the pope isn’t sitting in a secret basement spanking one off to a copy of Big Uns. How did the rumor get started? Probably by some Puritanical half wit who saw the Vatican’s collection of Renaissance art. You know, that whole movement that led to an explosion of intellect and style? Clearly that must be stopped. Anyway, as I said, there is no secret vault filled with Vatican owned porn.
That, however, does not mean that the Vatican is filled with the pure of heart and dry of loins. No sirree Bob, I tell you what. Our old pal David Moye reports that someone at the Vatican has been downloading lesbian fetish porn.
Well who could blame them?
Any actor appreciates reaching a new audience. But when two porn actresses discovered that their work was being downloaded by an anonymous source in Vatican City, it’s a feeling not so easy to describe.
“It doesn’t change my stand against piracy, but I was pretty excited,” Tiffany Starr, a pre-op transsexual, told The Huffington Post.
A scene Starr filmed with actress Sheena Shaw is from one of the adult films that Torrent Freak discovered was downloaded from an IP address in Vatican City.
While Vatican City is the home of the pope and the Catholic Church’s hierarchy, it’s unclear who watched this film — or if that person has any connection to the church. The sovereign nation within Italy has roughly 800 residents, according to the CIA World Factbook.
“Some religious people look down on adult films,” Starr told HuffPost. “I think this sends a message not to be ashamed.”
She also hopes that it helps, in its own way, make things easier for transgender people.
“It might open eyes that things aren’t so cut-and-dried,” she said.
Porn actress Lea Lexis was also surprised to discover her scene was downloaded in Vatican City, mainly because it was for a website called WhippedAss.com and featured her flogging, paddling and spanking co-star Krissy Lynn before engaging in hardcore sex.
“It is not for everybody,” she told HuffPost Live.
Lexis says this situation proves that there are “hypocrites” everywhere — and not just because the downloads are teeming with sexual content. They’re also stolen.
“[The downloaded files] were torrents, which means they’re stolen movies,” she said. “They’re not actually bought movies … and that is the bigger surprise.”
Lexis also believes that the revelation may prove that church officials are living in a glass house.
“[Porn stars] have been judged for our industry and doing what we do, especially by Catholics and Christians,” she said. “We all know everyone watches porn and this is a statement that really everybody watches porn.”
Lexis, who writes scripts for her movies as well, admits she is tempted to set a movie in the church now.
“The church environment has always been inspiring for numerous fantasies,” she told HuffPost by email. “The whole idea of individuals having to control their sexual urges to the point where they explode in intense, passionate sex is an absolute turn on.”
Still, there is some good news in this article. The porn featured adults doing adult stuff and had nothing to do with children.
Yeah, I take my good news where I can find it.