• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

World News Center

Everything you want to know about anything that's meaningful

  • News
  • Reviews
  • About
  • Contact Us
You are here: Home / Vacation Don’ts

Vacation Don’ts

April 9, 2013 by

Just think of the amazing tan we're about to get!
Just think of the amazing tan we’re about to get!
When I was 7 years old my mother almost killed me. On purpose. We were on the traditional American vacation; driving for hours without stopping or seeing anything. The point of this particular automotive marathon was to get to the Rocky Mountains and do the Pikes Peak tour. Yes, the same Pikes Peak where I was nearly gutted by a moose about 13 years later. At the time I thought seeing a mountain would be “neat” and “cool” but in retrospect i should probably just stay the hell out of Colorado on general principles. Anyway, mom and I had just passed through the nuclear wasteland called Nebraska when you could just make out the mountains in the distance. The sun was just starting to set and, while distant and small, it was still a beautiful sight. Or so my mother claimed. After she waxed rhapsodic about the sight for a few minutes I petulantly – I was 7 remember? – said, “Fine, can I go back to my comic book now?” It was at that point she almost killed me.

Speaking of moose, IKEA just recalled their moose lasagna because it is made with pork. There is so much wrong with that statement that I don’t know where to begin.

In non-moose related news, the whole point of today’s blog is to help you avoid some vacation pitfalls. Like don’t get attacked by moose. Or don’t get married in a Denny’s.

Can’t decide which you love more — your honey or maple syrup? If you’re in Las Vegas, you’re in luck. Behind its bright-yellow, abstract facade, the Denny’s restaurant in the Neonopolis district on Fremont Street (a short drive from the Strip) that opened last November is now accepting bookings for its in-house wedding chapel.

Given that other fast food-lover lovers have gotten hitched at White Castle, McDonald’s, Taco Bell and KFC, the idea of a chain diner carving out space for weddings — especially in Las Vegas, epicenter of quirky wedding themes — might not be as strange as it sounds.

The company says it’s had “many inquiries” from others who want to pledge their eternal love over a Lumberjack Slam or Moons Over My Hammy.

An Iowa bride and groom were the first to tie the knot earlier this week.

For $95, couples get a bottle of champagne, a Pancake Puppie wedding cake (Denny’s answer to the cake-pop trend) and “Just Married” T-shirts. Unfortunately for bacon lovers, Denny’s says it currently has no plans to turns its caramel-bacon brownie sundae or bacon-stuffed caramel French toast into wedding cake.

The package doesn’t include a photographer, but the celebrants can commemorate their special day in the restaurant’s photo booth. And this Denny’s has a full bar, so guests can toast the newlyweds with something stronger than a maple bacon milkshake. Maybe the Grand Slamosa — a mimosa with Grand Mariner — would fit the bill.

What the Grand Slam Breakfast has joined, let no one separate.

When I was a randy teen we would hang out at Denny’s late at night. The idea was simple. As long as we had a cup of coffee we could hang out. So we could stay out late at night. And occasionally boink in the parking lot. But, I can promise you this, I never once thought about getting married there.

But, if you do find yourself getting married at Denny’s then this next vacation thrill is probably right up your alley.

Custom extreme kidnapping.

It’s a Detroit thing.

If you’ve got a couple hundred bucks to burn and a masochistic streak, then maybe it’s time to check out a Detroit business that promises to give the thrill of a real-life abduction.

That’s right, in a city with more than its fair share of true crime, the founder of Extreme Kidnapping is looking for customers to pay him to be kidnapped.
EXTREME-KIDNAPPING-large
“This service caters to the extreme sports adventurer who is bored with what’s currently available; this takes it to a whole other level,” says entrepreneur Adam Thick aka in the rap world as Mr. Scrillion. “If you don’t feel like you’re really being kidnapped and your life is in danger, then we’re not doing our job.”

Extreme Kidnapping had a low profile for years until a GQ writer signed on to get shanghaied and merrily recalled his night in captivity.

For $1,500 Drew Magary was handcuffed, duct taped, soaked, slapped and zapped with a stun gun (and more) by Thick, a convicted counterfeiter and his henchmen.

There are more economic experiences available that might appeal to shoppers who are cautious about passing a night in a dingy basement. Thick customizes each abduction and unlike an old-fashioned kidnapping, an Extreme Therapy hostage has the ability to call off the goons and abort the torture at any moment by uttering a preselected safe word.

As a memento, all customers get a video of willingly being held against their will.

The Michael Douglass film “The Game” provided the idea for Extreme Kidnapping.

The company’s motto might as well be, “It should be against the law to have this much fun.”

“…handcuffed, duct taped, soaked, slapped and zapped with a stun gun (and more)…”

Doesn’t that just scream FUNNN!

And what could possibly go wrong? Like cops accidentally seeing this going down and punching holes in otherwise solid people. On the other hand, if you were talked into getting married at a Denny’s this might seem like a good out.

TSURUFOTO Presents… Isabella Misery in The Return Of Bluebeard (NSFW)

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.
Visit us on Rebel Mouse for even more fun!
contact Bill McCormick

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Archives

  • October 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • November 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010

Copyright © 2023 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in