Bad Words

Some words fade gracefully from view. Haberdashery is a good example. A gentle word for gentler times. Some may bemoan its passing while others may see it as a relic best left behind. Whatever the point of view, the result is the same. The word is slowly going away. Some words need to be re-purposed. They have been morphed into meanings they were never intended to bear. One such word is sorry. As in “I’m sorry for your loss” or “I’m sorry for your difficulties.” Unless you poisoned my granny or are directly responsible for little Timmy being a junkie, there is nothing to apologize for. Better to say “I am saddened by your loss” or something similar. Also an offer to help that rises above the level of a Facebook post wouldn’t be out of the question either. It need not be dramatic. Cooking a meal when someone is going through tough times can be just as important as anything else they could possibly need. You not only give them food, you give them time. The latter is a very precious gift when people are in trouble.

Anyway, it’s that time of year again for words or phrases to die horrible, flaming, deaths in the national media. Jeff Karoub has brought gas and matches, so sit back and enjoy the show.

Spoiler alert: This story contains words and phrases that some people want to ban from the English language. “Spoiler alert” is among them. So are “kick the can down the road,” “trending” and “bucket list.”

A dirty dozen have landed on the 38th annual List of Words to be Banished from the Queen’s English for Misuse, Overuse and General Uselessness. The nonbinding, tongue-in-cheek decree released Monday by northern Michigan’s Lake Superior State University is based on nominations submitted from the United States, Canada and beyond.

“Spoiler alert,” the seemingly thoughtful way to warn readers or viewers about looming references to a key plot point in a film or TV show, nevertheless passed its use-by date for many, including Joseph Foly, of Fremont, Calif. He argued in his submission the phrase is “used as an obnoxious way to show one has trivial information and is about to use it, no matter what.”

At the risk of further offense, here’s another spoiler alert: The phrase receiving the most nominations this year is “fiscal cliff,” banished because of its overuse by media outlets when describing across-the-board federal tax increases and spending cuts that economists say could harm the economy in the new year without congressional action.

“You can’t turn on the news without hearing this,” said Christopher Loiselle, of Midland, Mich., in his submission. “I’m equally worried about the River of Debt and Mountain of Despair.”

Other terms coming in for a literary lashing are “superfood,” “guru,” “job creators” and “double down.”

University spokesman Tom Pink said that in nearly four decades, the Sault Ste. Marie school has “banished” around 900 words or phrases, and somehow the whole idea has survived rapidly advancing technology and diminishing attention spans.

Nominations used to come by mail, then fax and via the school’s website, he said. Now most come through the university’s Facebook page. That’s fitting, since social media has helped accelerate the life cycle of certain words and phrases, such as this year’s entry “YOLO” – “you only live once.”

“The list surprises me in one way or another every year, and the same way every year: I’m always surprised how people still like it, love it,” he said.

Rounding out the list are “job creators/creation,” “boneless wings” and “passion/passionate.” Those who nominated the last one say they are tired of hearing about a company’s “passion” as a substitute for providing a service or product for money.

Andrew Foyle, of Bristol, England, said it’s reached the point where “passion” is the only ingredient that keeps a chef from preparing “seared tuna” that tastes “like dust swept from a station platform.”

“Apparently, it’s insufficient to do it ably, with skill, commitment or finesse,” Foyle said. “Passionate, begone!”

As usual, the etymological exercise – or exorcise – only goes so far. Past lists haven’t eradicated “viral,” “amazing,” “LOL” or “man cave” from everyday use.

Some trivia, Fiscal Cliff is a variant of Fiscal Precipice which was first used by the Chicago Tribune in 1893. I know you don’t care but I also know you’ll be impressing your friends with that tiny fact for the next three weeks.

And, yes, I can truly support the demise of the word passion as it is currently used. I want a naked brunette to be passionate about me not an insurance company.

You should also know that Sault Ste. Marie was the first city founded in what would become the state of Michigan and is still the home to one of the largest shipping locks in the world. If you want to drive over those locks you need to hop on the International Bridge which will get you to Canada and looks cool as heck at night.

So sue me, I like visiting Sault Ste. Marie.

Nevertheless, I think that’s enough trivia for one day. I wouldn’t want to overload you.

my bad from Queens of Disco Sleaze

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