I have a neighbor. I’m sure you have one too. Anyway, mine’s a jerk. How much of a jerk you ask? This much. On Halloween night he put an empty bowl in front of his house with a sign saying take one. That way kids would think all the Halloween candy had been stolen and they would leave him alone. It worked too. But while he was doing his level best to disgrace the gene pool others were having riotous fun. Parties, large and small, were held all over the city. To help people keep them all straight Metromix actually broke down the main events by category. Yes, there is an entire category set aside for why pets hate Halloween. It is a well deserved set aside. It’s no wonder there are so many horror stories about pets killing their humans. You’d be homicidal too if someone did that to you.
Nevertheless, Halloween is like any other day when it comes to crime. Shootings, robberies and so on. Unless we’re talking about Florida. Then we hit a level of weird that would have thrown Rod Serling off his feed.
How bad was it? Let’s start with a guy who works at a school and showed up dressed as a gynecologist …. named Dr. Harry Beaver.
Donnie Riggins, an Altamonte Springs school resource officer, made inappropriate comments to students during the morning announcements by using a teacher’s name in a hypothetical situation about the trouble teens could get in when they drink and drive, according to school officials said, reports WFTV ABC News-9 in Orlando.
Riggins also showed up at the school dressed as a gynecologist on Halloween with a sexually-suggestive name: Dr. Harry Beaver, according to an internal affairs report.
Oh, the kids just had hours of fun. You won’t believe what they bobbed for when he forgot the apples.
Then there was the fun loving lady from Jacksonville who used the holiday, and discount fake blood from Walmart, to fake a miscarriage.
Faking a pregnancy is so yesterday’s news.
Newest wrinkle: Faking a miscarriage.
Jacksonville Sheriff’s Office investigators responded to a 911 call from a hotel and found a 33-year-old woman who told her fiance she had suffered a miscarriage, reports WJXT News-4 in Jacksonville.
There was proof — blood was found inside the woman’s car and hotel room.
But the blood turned out to be fake Halloween blood from Walmart.
Of course, as we all know, Florida is the Sunshine State. A state that welcomes people with open arms and no personal income tax. A place where everyone is just one group hug away from singing Kumbaya.
A week after finally admitting 10 black students to its law school, and — no – this is not from 1950, the University of Florida hosted a party that featured white kids in black face.
A black eye for UF?
Last week the the University of Florida chapter of the Beta Theta Pi fraternity hosted a Halloween party with a “rock stars and rappers” theme held off campus, reports The Gainesville Sun.
A pic of a couple of frat brothers at the party wearing dark paint on their faces and bodies along with baseball caps, gold chains and sagging pants now has brought criticism, apologies and a UF town hall meeting, according to a report.
The issue surfaced at a time when just 10 black students were among the 287 students who just entered UF law school, Katheryn Russell-Brown, UF law professor and director of the Center for the Study of Race and Race Relations told The Gainesville Sun.
But nothing sums up the joys of the holiday in Florida than the heartwarming story of a mom and her 14 year old daughter going on a lark and leaving toddlers to look after their 87 year old granny.
It went about as well as you might expect.
Susan Christine Warner and her 14-year-old daughter headed from Port Charlotte to Orlando last weekend for Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios — but left behind her two little pumpkins, two other daughters, ages 3 and 10-years-old, plus their 87-year-old bedridden great granny, according to a news release from the Charlotte County Sheriff’s Office.
On Sunday evening a neighbor alerted deputies after Warner’s 10-year-old daughter reportedly showed up at her door, telling the woman that she was hungry.
Responding deputies found their own House of Horrors when they stepped inside the home.
According to the report:
- The kitchen the sink was filled with old water and dirty dishes; old rotting, moldy food sat atop counters; trash bags containing waste were piled up.
- The fridge had foul-smelling uncooked chicken inside; dog feces was found on the floors throughout the house and showed signs of being walked through.
- The 3-year-old was barefoot, filthy and dressed in over-sized clothing.
- The only working bathroom was littered with piles of dirty clothes and old food containers.
- The only shower was filled with clothes and broken toys. If you had to use the only working toilet you had to walk on piles of clothes and soiled baby diapers to reach it.
Deputies also found the very confused great-granny lying in a urine-soaked bed after having fallen four days before, according to the report.
When Mom returned home with her older daughter, along with a man and four teens, she allegedly began to scream and cry when told about the investigation, saying that she knew home was very dirty, was sorry, and she would clean it up.
The 40-year-old Port Charlotte mom also told authorities her hubby has been in jail since last June and she had been struggling with depression issues — and just needed to get away.
Detectives hauled mom to jail where she remains on no bond — and where she’ll have a clean cot, 3 hots and a working bathroom.
Just so we’re clear, she went and picked up another family and brought them home. I wonder if she was planning on swapping them out? Or worse.
After all, this is Florida we’re talking about.
Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.