Archives for October 2012

Before we begin today let’s take a moment to be completely honest with ourselves. Had the technology existed when we were young there would be some very embarrassing memories being shared right about now. I know you’re riding the high hobby horse now when you are in the “My Morals Corral,” but even when we were barely old enough to know what the heck anything meant “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine” was a time honored tradition. And we honored it. So, if we’d had cell phone cams and so on just imagine the world of **** we’d be in right now. Or, to quote Matthew 7:1, “Judge not lest ye be judged.” Now, that being said, that doesn’t make doing it now any smarter than it would have been doing it then.

But the one thing that most people who sext never seem to consider is what happens after they hit send. I’m not talking about the occasional cad who shares your intimate gift, although they are a real concern, I’m just talking in general. Think about it for a second. The internet isn’t some device that’s hardwired into your phone or camera. It is a collection of ever crossing electronic pathways. Smart people who have no lives sit in the junctions of those pathways looking for exactly the kind of pic (NSFW) you were sending your BF or GF or Unsure F.

Ben Weitzenkorn of NBC News has some real bad news for you.

Eighty-eight percent of homemade pornography, including videos and still images, finds its way onto porn sites, often without the owners’ knowledge, a new study concluded.

The study analyzed more than 12,000 sexually explicit images uploaded by young people and found that the great majority of images had been stolen and published to what Britain’s Internet Watch Foundation (IWF), which published the study, calls “parasite” websites.

These parasites, exclusively devoted to hosting sexual images featuring young subjects, allegedly obtain their material from anywhere they can get it: lost or stolen cellphones, hacked private accounts on Photobucket, Flickr, or Facebook, or from chat sites and Tumblr, a blogging platform notorious for the amount of explicit self-published content by high school and college-age students.

In 2011, the now-defunct IsAnyoneUp.com published tens of thousands of stolen Facebook photos submitted by jaded ex-lovers or angry friends.

“We need young people to realize that once an image or a video has gone online, they may never be able to remove it entirely,” Susie Hargreaves, CEO of the Internet Watch Foundation, told the Guardian newspaper in London. “Once an image has been copied on to a parasite website, it will no longer suffice to simply remove the image from the online account.”

David Wright, director of the UK Safer Internet Center, agreed with the study and reiterated a warning to youngsters not to send sexually explicit messages via their phones, either.

“Much of the advice for children and young people is, quite rightly, to not ‘sext,’ ” he said.

In its report, the IWF features quotes meant to serve as a warning to others to not even make explicit photos. “One explicit image I took when I was young … is coming up on the first page of [unnamed search engine],” one quote read.

“Every time I begin to feel good and confident about myself … I just remember these pictures and what I did,” another quote read.

The people who gave the quotes may be heartened, however, to learn that they’re not alone. With camera phones and the ability to posting power in the palm of our hands now, self-made sex photos are easier to make and share than ever before. They can bet they’re not alone.

“AHA,” you self righteously exclaim, “this is America! The land of many lawyers and too much free time. I will sue these heinous thieves back into the Stone Age.”

Okay. On what grounds? You can’t copyright porn, so that’s out. The rest of the laws rest on the phrase “reasonable expectation of privacy” which you don’t have if you’re posting your naked wanker on line or sending it over a public cell phone network.

So you have two choices; (1) cower in fear every time someone starts a sentence with “You won’t believe what I found online ….” or (2) own that stuff.

“Yep, that’s my wanker. He’s a beaut, isn’t he?”

But the question still begs, why do it at all? The risks are widely known, the stories are widely told and the consequences, due to the rantings of holier than thou pinheads, can be dire.

Matt Liebowitz of Tech Weekly takes a look at the nitty gritty of it all.

In some social circles, sending a nude photo via text message — sexting — leads to public shame, embarrassment and a ruined reputation for the sender.

There have been countless stories of what happens when a naked or suggestive message falls into the wrong hands — just ask former congressman Anthony Weiner. But rarely do we discuss why people send these messages in the first place.

In some cases, according to Danah Boyd, a senior researcher at Microsoft Research, peer group pressure creates an environment where sexting is just another part of the conversation.

Next stop: fame

At the Internet Safety Symposium in late June in New York City, Boyd told the stories of two teens whom she observed and wrote about as part of her doctoral dissertation, which she earned from the University of California, Berkeley, while studying how American teens socialize in online social networks.

The first student she discussed, a 15-year-old girl named Traviesa, covered her MySpace profile with “artistically styled but explicitly sexual nude and semi-nude photos of herself,” Boyd said.

Traviesa, Boyd said, took her cues, however misguided, from pseudo-celebrities such as Tila Tequila and Paris Hilton. Both women’s careers were launched after nude photos and sex videos of them were leaked onto the Web.

Although Traviesa didn’t send any racy messages of herself to a specific person, she did put her explicit photos out in the open, where anybody could see them and use them in any way they wanted.

“She told me that she wanted to be a model and that she was going to work hard to break into the business; she believed that she was going to be found on MySpace just like Tila Tequila.” Boyd said. “Traviesa believed that she, too, could become famous if she exposed herself online.”

Sexting to get a date

Some teens see sexting as a stepping-stone to stardom. In other circles, it is merely another form of social currency that can put young girls ahead of their peers — in many young men’s eyes, at least.

Boyd referenced a May 26 New York Times article in which a group of teens from New York City and a Philadelphia suburb were asked their thoughts about sexting. Kathy, a 17-year-old from Queens, spoke frankly about how the practice has pervaded youth culture.

“At my school, if you like a boy and you want to get his attention, you know what you have to do,” she told the Times. She added, “There’s a positive side to sexting. You can’t get pregnant from it, and you can’t transmit STD’s. It’s a kind of safe sex.”

In her presentation, Boyd said the girls “believed they were strutting their stuff and sexting was just another practice in a long line of practices meant to signal that they were cool, sexy girls.”

Don’t panic … yet

Kathy, the Queens teen, had a point, Boyd said.

Boyd clarified that sexting is a sex act, “and as with any sex acts, there are loving versions and abusive versions,” she told SecurityNewsDaily.

When X-rated messages are used to “shame, hurt, or manipulate people, we should be worried,” she said. “But when we see them done lovingly, we should not be panicked. This is why it’s critical to clarify the law. We don’t want kids to be arrested for all of their sex acts, even if we do want to protect them from being violated.”

Panic, Boyd told SecurityNewsDaily, is at the heart of the issue. And it’s an issue that is much larger than a teen sending a racy picture message.

“These are social-level issues more than individual issues,” Boyd said.

Fingers can be pointed at the media, at celebrity culture and at adults who set poor examples, she added, “but it’s all of the above and more. We’re far too individualistic in our approach to these matters, seeing teens as individuals and their parents as the sole actors who are responsible. Society is far more complex than that.”

What’s the future of sexting?

Much of Boyd’s presentation focused on teens and young adults sending risqué photos, but the future of the medium is in the hands of adults, she believes. And that’s a problem.

“People focus heavily on teen sexting because of the legal issues and because of our concerns about teen sexuality. But adults are engaged in this practice just as much if not more than teens,” Boyd told SecurityNewsDaily.

Boyd said teens and adults in their 20s may use sexting “as part of courtship,” but adults are using sexting to cheat.

Herein lies another problem: cheaters never win, especially if they don’t have the tech savvy do it correctly.

“If you think about it,” Boyd said, “most teens have access to technology to sext and they know how to use it; adults are just learning. And boy are they messing up.”

As I’ve noted before, sexy pics have been around as long as man has been able to create a graphic image. Once Ugg and Ogg got done memorializing the mastodon they wanted to eat, they started looking for new things to draw. Things that held their attention and interest.

Naked women were high on that list. Thousands of years before Christ walked the earth artists were posting risque images on walls, in tombs, and anywhere else their little fancies led them.

Still, given the way current employers scour the internet as part of their due diligence it’s better to be safe than sorry. So go a little old school when the “I HAVE GOT TO GET NAKED!!” urge hits. Go find that special someone and get naked in person, without the cameras.

Yes, you still have to wear protection. That should never be a question.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

I don’t know about you but I have had sex. An unofficial poll of our readers last year showed that 100% of them had also experienced the joys of the occasional mattress mambo. That’s a healthy amount. Now, before you get the idea that I’m about to make fun of some backwards group of morons, I remind you that, in Illinois, it is illegal to be caught nuzzling or kissing a reptile and that having an erection in public is also illegal. I actually am guilty of both. Hey! Don’t judge. It wasn’t at the same time. Anyway, I was young and she was willing to get naked but she wanted me to kiss her iguana first. There’s nothing in the bible about iguana smooching so I just followed my heart, which just happened to be following my erection and the iguana got smooched. The iguana seemed pleased. I know I was. She seemed to be as well. I guess she was since I got seconds.

But you never really know. She could have just been filling her calendar.

I brought that up to bring this up. When I was younger I worked with some ladies who worked in the adult entertainment industry. In the late 70’s and early 80’s the industry was changing dramatically. It was becoming more involved in creating technology specifically designed to enhance the erotic experience. Everything from video cameras to most of the Internet owes its existence to porn. Click the previous link to see what I mean.

As porn came out from under the couch and parked itself in our living rooms people became more aware of the intricacies involved in creating it. And, what seems to have been a blindingly obvious result in retrospect, more people, both male and female, decided they wanted a piece of that pie. And as more people got involved more health precautions needed to be put in place. Unlike the 60’s and 70’s, when everyone knew everyone else, the entire porn industry couldn’t fit in a restaurant.

Yes, it would have needed to be a big restaurant, but you get the idea.

So, now, porn has become so entrenched in our lives that the government sees the need to get involved. Allegedly due to a (nonexistent) “public health” issue but, really, for money. Think “red light cameras” meet “red light district.”

Our buddy David Moye has the complete story.

Porn performers Jessica Drake and James Deen are hoping to raise awareness — and possibly other things — with a new political ad that protests a controversial condom-only porn measure on the ballot in Los Angeles.

Under Measure B adult film producers must obtain a health permit before filming and performers must use condoms while engaged in sex. It also calls for health officials to be on working sets.

Violators would be subject to fines and criminal charges.

The measure is arousing the ire of porn performers like Deen and Drake who have filmed a satirical public service announcement depicting future porn, wherein sex workers perform with safety goggles and protective headgear while getting down to business.

The climax of the porn film PSA is when Deen almost chokes on a dental dam.

“We’re not mocking safe sex,” Deen stressed to The Huffington Post. “It’s supposed to be a satirical look at government interference.”

James Lee, chief spokesman for the No on B campaign, appreciates the importance of promoting safe sex, but he argues that the proposed measures could screw the industry financially.

“In 1998, the industry went condom only [for a brief time],” he told The Huffington Post. “Business dropped 25 to 30 percent. America isn’t the only place that makes porn. It’s a competitive issue and consumers don’t buy condom-only porn.”

The condom-only policy in 1998 was rolled back.

Lee said the industry now does a good job policing itself with rules that requires performers to get tested every 14 to 28 days “so far beyond what other industries are doing.”

“No other population is tested more frequently except convicts,” he said.

Lee said that the last time a porn performer tested positive for HIV was in 2004.

Deen said that New York Times science correspondent Donald McNeil visited him on set and told him that he considers the Los Angeles porn industry to be “technically a scientific marvel” because there are so few cases of cases of STDs and HIV considering how much sex is being had.

Earlier this summer, a porn performer named Mr. Marcus became infected with syphilis and falsified the results so he could work.

This caused the whole industry to shut down. Although that would seem to make a case for laws such the one proposed in Measure B, Deen thinks the industry reaction to the outbreak actually proves the current policy is working.

“What other industry shuts itself down if there’s a scare?” he said. “McDonald’s doesn’t shut down if someone gets sick from a hamburger. The NFL knows the head gear is not designed to withstand the concussions suffered by players, but it doesn’t shut down.”

Drake believes the outbreak showed that the system for containment and tracking exposures worked, but adds that “crisis is opportunity for growth and change” and the testing has become more rigorous since then.

Drake considers herself a unique spokeswoman for the No On B campaign she is under contract to Wicked Pictures, which makes condoms mandatory for all films.

She admits the policy has hurt the company’s bottom line the way that Deen suggests, but the company thrives, in part, because “perseverance” and because Wicked’s films are plot-driven and cater to couples.

However, if the measure passes, all porn sets will have to have health inspectors on set to ensure that condoms are being used.

“We’re not mocking safe sex,” she told HuffPost. “But we want to show that things will definitely change.”

An earlier, less satirical ad featuring Ron Jeremy and Tera Patrick suggested that passage of measure B could lead to porn companies closing down shop in Los Angeles and moving to places without condom-only rules, which would result in the loss of a $20 billion industry and 10,000 jobs.

Most of the porn industry is against the measure, as are media outlets like the Los Angeles Times, but some porn stars do support it, such as Aurora Snow.

She recently wrote a piece in The Daily Beast saying the proposed law makes sense, even if it isn’t “sexy.”

“Safety isn’t sexy. Wearing a helmet while riding a motorcycle makes me feel like a dork, but I do it because I know what’s at risk if I don’t,” she said. “No one feels or looks sexy wearing a safety hat or knee pads. That’s what the condom is for the porn industry, it’s our safety hat.”

Deen considers Snow to be a good friend, but finds her argument illogical.

“People use the analogy that if you should wear a helmet if you ride a motorcycle, but stuntmen don’t wear helmets. They’re trained professionals working with other trained professionals. Like we are — we’re the stuntmen of sex,” he told HuffPost. “What people see in movies is not real. Adult entertainment is entertainment.”

First off, I’d like to remind you that Jessica Drake is smarter than most of you. Admit it, you would never have thought of the stuntman analogy.

That being said, I would never have casual sex without protection but that’s not the topic here today. Even in the 80’s the girls I knew were insanely careful. They called the act of having sex with a non-porn star “amateur night” and they made sure the rubber raincoats were in full use.

No glove, no love unless you were a member of the professional family.

So, if you have a soul and live in Cali, do whatever you can to kill Measure B.

Secrets of Tantra – Magic in Practice from Asia (Trailer) from Angela Mahr

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

Normally I would not be the first in line to champion the concept of getting heavily armed people drunk. I try not to be the font of very bad ideas. Yet, today, I am going to forgo common sense and advocate allowing police in Florida to carry a half pint in their patrol cars. Or at their desk or anywhere else they may feel it prudent. You see, after years of writing this blog it finally occurred to me that the men and women in blue who patrol Florida’s vast tracts of ineptitude have got to be one step from going postal. As it were. Think about it, in just the last week they have arrested four different naked people involved in various criminal acts, one of whom defecated on himself while being detained. You never hear stories like that on the local news. Not once have you heard (YOUR FAVORITE NEWSCASTER) say “Chicago police arrested a naked man who was carrying a water pistol loaded with taco sauce just outside a nunnery in Hyde Park. The man attempted to elude police by running into the nunnery screaming a request for sanctuary. He was quickly returned to the police by irate, ruler wielding, nuns.” Not once. But, in Florida, this kind of stuff happens daily.

In fact, the whole “naked Floridian criminal” thing has gotten so out of hand that I’ve stopped writing about it unless it involves something truly spectacular.

But even without the nudity and public defecation, cops in Florida deal with stuff other police departments don’t even see in sit-coms.

For example, Police in Tampa had to run down a criminal – in court.

A defendant became belligerent and ran through the Hillsborough County Courthouse, striking a police officer, according to the Hillsborough County Sheriff’s Office.

Adam Manuel Lee Raicies, 25, reportedly appeared irritated during his sentencing on Tuesday on a charge of giving false information to a law enforcement officer. When the judge sentenced Raicies to probation, he allegedly refused to sign the paperwork before taking off.

Bailiffs and Tampa police officers chased Raicies through the courthouse. When they caught up with him, he allegedly struck an officer in the face with his elbow.

The judge scheduled a contempt of court hearing and filed additional charges against Raicies, including battery on a law enforcement officer and resisting arrest without violence.

Just where did he think he was going? He was in a building where everyone BUT HIM carries a gun and a radio. Those are not good odds.

But, I would still have to say that he had a better plan than these two gentlemen who were arrested in Naples. They thought that the quiet room in the back of the squad car was the best place to smoke a joint and discuss their crimes.

Jacques Leonce Saintil, 19, and Vernon Denard Jones, 21, two suspects in an East Naples home burglary, were picked up after a concerned neighbor saw them enter a house while the the home’s residents were away, reports the Naples Daily News.

They reportedly told authorities they didn’t know anything about the break-in.

But while the duo were being hauled off to the the slammer, they were taped on an in-car video system discussing the burglary and passing a joint back and forth in the backseat of the patrol car, according to an arrest report.

Gotcha! Pass the joint and go directly to jail.

Have you noticed that the newspapers in Florida don’t even bother with words like “jail” anymore? Nope, these dudes were hauled off to the “slammer.” I guess at some point it all becomes somewhat overwhelming having too write about these yahoos day after day after day …..

While we’re here, maybe we should add 911 operators to our list as well. Broward County Sheriffs had to take time out of their busy day to go arrest a woman who was in love with a bologna sandwich.

No, I am not making this up.

Christine Lee Brown was busted for repeatedly calling 911 to thank the Brevard County Sheriff for bologna sandwiches she was served at the jail, reports WKMG CBS News-6 in Orlando.

When Palm Bay cops showed up at the 51-year-old’s home, she was chatting with a 911 dispatcher, records show.

Now she’ll be getting even more bologna sandwiches.

They’re not that good people, trust me on this one. No one, and I mean NO FREAKING ONE, goes to jail for the cuisine.

While I have made fun of Florida’s politicians, rightly so I might add, for being dunderheads when it comes to writing laws, their police deserve to be lauded for one ongoing program they have had in place for a while now. They run one of the best anti-child sex operations in the country. The latest sting in Valusia County netted some real winners.

Psst, cyber perverts, get a clue: No mom in the real world wants you to have sex with their 14-year-old daughter.

But men seem to continually fall for this undercover online sex sting, actually believing moms would allow their 14-year-old daughters to have sex with a stranger they have connected with online.

And it just happened again in Florida.

This time 23 men were nabbed in Volusia County, traveling as far as 120-miles believing they would have sex with a 14-year-old girl, according to a news release from the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office.

The latest roundup included three students from Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University.

Most of the men brought condoms, which shows intent, according to the release.

No way?

Way…as in Paul D. Way, a 36-year-old Army reservist from Melbourne, even brought a teddy bear, along with a couple of hydrocodone pills (and) a handwritten, signed contract with blanks for both mom and daughter to sign giving him permission to perform sex acts on the phantom 14-year-old girl, the release stated.

John F. Williams, 66, a semi-retired doc from Port Orange, reportedly brought a whole box of condoms, a couple of bottles of vino, some sex toys…and Viagra.

Here are some men that fell for the ‘family fun’ sex sting in the past.

Dunnellon: Teacher traveled to meet 14-year-old for sex in sting

It looks like this Naples firefighter’s career just went up in flames: Firefighter falls for family fun sex sting, deputies say

NASA cop busted: Accused of trying to have sex with ‘teen’ and ‘mom’

Minneola: Firefighter sought sex with woman and daughter, 7. This civilian fire captain at a North Carolina Air Force base traveled all the way to Lake County for his “hookup.”

Osceola County: PGA golfer fell for ‘family fun’ sex sting, deputies say

Those are just the recent busts from the last couple of months.

Anyway, kudos to the Florida cops for keeping those creeps in jail where they belong.

Kevin Rudolf featuring Flo Rida “You make the rain fall” from alexandre moors on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

When people think of really crazy people doing stupiid things they tend to focus on Americans. Specifically Floridians like Jeremie Calo who got arrested for getting into a fight with a restaurant manager. This was just after he had sex on his table, with his girlfriend not the manager. Or, if they’re monied people, they look to Massachusetts where a brother and sister team, Bob & Amanda Larrivee, were arrested for stealing a TV from a bathroom (the rich have too much money) but, instead, copped to the fact they were having sex. They did this because incest is far more socially acceptable to the landed gentry than theft. In other words, there might be enough circumstantial evidence to make America seem the logical choice. And, for as much fun as I have at Florida’s expense, it would seem I agree. Sadly, no, I just snag the low hanging fruit every now and then. For the truly bat guano crazy, the kind fueled by buckets of stupid, you have to wander across the pond meet Darth Vader.

No, not him. The other one.

A guy in England legally changed his name to Darth Vader (because there’s no way that could be confusing) and made the news when his girlfriend got punched in the face because dear old Darth was dipping his light-saber in someone else’s death star. Allegedly. Why hit her and not him? Well, because the puncher missed.

But a story about Darth is appropriate today now that Opinion Matters has released a survey of what British people believe is real.

More than 33 million U.K. citizens believe in extraterrestrial life, compared to just over 27 million — less than half the country — who believe in God.

That’s the result of an online survey of 1,359 adults who were asked a variety of questions ranging from belief in alien visits to Earth, suspicions of UFO cover-ups, belief in extraterrestrials vs. belief in God, and whether or not men actually landed on the moon.

The survey, conducted by Opinion Matters, revealed the following statistics among those surveyed:

• 52 percent believe UFO evidence has been covered up because widespread knowledge of their existence would threaten government stability.
• 44 percent believe in God.
• A quarter more men than women claim to have seen UFOs.
• 20 percent of respondents believe UFOs have landed on Earth.
• More than five million British citizens believe the Apollo moon landings were faked.

While the survey was conducted as part of a tie-in with a new video game, “XCOM: Enemy Unknown,” it was a legitimate sampling of opinions that can be taken to represent the population of the U.K., according to the agency that conducted the survey.

“Yes, it has been done with an independent panel through a bonafide research company,” said Karen Brooks, managing director of Opinion Matters, a well-known market research agency that created the survey.

“Surveys can be done face-to-face, over the telephone and online. This one was a U.K. adult sample, which is quite broad, and doing it online is a quick, effective way of getting to that audience,” she continued. “We make sure that all of the questions are compliant from a research perspective.”

But some are skeptical of the results, including Alistair Macdonald-Radcliff, an Anglican priest and director general of the World Dialogue Council, a group that promotes better relations between the West and Islamic cultures.

“Having done a certain amount of work with statistics on religion, I am inherently skeptical about what these statistics tell you, and particularly if there’s a narrow, selective base. Something with about 1,000 people does set off alarm bells,” Macdonald-Radcliff told HuffPost.

“I really do think the failure to define what they’re asking people to believe here is a fairly critical failure for the survey,” Macdonald-Radcliff said. “Because you’ve already set out quite a variety of possibilities as to what they might or might not suppose UFOs to be. I certainly think sliding extraterrestrial and UFO together is a particularly messy thing to do.”

Macdonald-Radcliff suggested that people are “less inclined to be participants in traditional churches,” which might represent a shift of general beliefs that they have about God and extraterrestrials.

“There may be some correlation there,” he noted. “But I have to say the actual hard data has yet to be found. There may be a relationship between people becoming more credulous in UFOs and less credulous in traditional religion.”

The results of the survey are not surprising to Nick Pope, a former U.K. Ministry of Defense UFO investigator. “It’s important to bear in mind that people who believe in alien life don’t necessarily think it’s visiting us,” Pope said in an email to HuffPost.

“The recent upsurge in the discovery of extra-solar planets may be a factor here; as we close in on ‘shadow Earths,’ people are more likely to think that if Earth isn’t unique, neither is life,” he added.

Pope also noted that many of the doubts people might have about religion or about extraterrestrial life are rooted in a similar problem: lack of hard evidence.

“In the case of religion, we have only faith — faith based on some ancient texts where, despite the claims, no divine origin can be proven,” Pope said. “Even where people claim to have had a first-hand experience, why should we believe accounts of miracles and visions any more or less than UFO sightings or claims of alien abduction?”

See? This is where people mess things up. They take one truth, say – a man scratches his head when he thinks, and they take another truth, oh, let’s try a dog scratches when it has fleas and then they come to a completely erroneous conclusion, THINKING CAUSES FLEAS!

You see the problem.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not about to assail another person’s beliefs. You can believe in God, the Giant Spaghetti Monster, or whatever you want. But, and this is very salient here today, it stops being a belief system when it flies in the face of all evidence. Then it starts being a delusion.

Yes, I know what atheists are saying right now, but let’s move past that.

If, and this is a huge IF, a craft from another world came here and didn’t want to interfere in our culture because they have something like Star Trek’s Prime Directive, they would have no need to come anywhere near our atmosphere. They could just hang out in our solar system and monitor our electronic transmissions. Our current level of technology could do that.

If they didn’t have any restrictions like that they could easily say hello from space by broadcasting on every frequency. Our current level of technology could also do that.

Or they could land. Say someplace fun like the White House lawn. Or the Kremlin or in Riyadh or where ever.

The fact is that I can envision numerous ways for an alien race to make contact with us. The Wow Signal comes to mind. Actually it leaps to mind. Anyway, that would be one way.

What they wouldn’t do is travel a few billion miles just to crash into the planet. Nor would they need to hide in clouds and make funny lights. Or mess with our corn. Just looked at from a simple expenditure viewpoint the actions cited by UFO believers make no freaking sense whatsoever.

Think of it this way, and – yes – thinking is required, if you spent a wad of cash to go to Vegas in your coolest ride, would you then sit in a parking lot behind a sign and hope no one saw you?

That’s the kind of logic that the UFO conspiracies are all predicated on.

As to the whole “fake moon landing” thing, just blow a call out to any of these guys; Edwin “Buzz” Aldrin, Alan Bean, Edgar Mitchell, David Scott, John Young, Charles Duke, Gene Cernan and Harrison Schmidtt, all of whom were there and all of whom are alive as of this writing.

Anyway, all American music heroes and friends of this blog, The Ex Senators, are on tour in England right now, so wish them luck.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

I live in a neighborhood that is populated by a Mexican midget. She is about 80 years old or so. Her favorite hobby in the whole wide world is to walk up to complete strangers and grab their butt. And she knows she can get away with it. After all, what are you going to do? Really Junior, you’re going to beat up an 80 year old midget? Can you imagine what your life in prison would be like? Because I can and that’s not the life for me. So I tolerate one of life’s little absurdities and get to enjoy sharing the story. I think that is also the basic motivation behind Felix Baumgartner’s plunge to certain death last Sunday. It wasn’t the science or the thrill or anything else. Just that he now has a story very few can share. Seriously, it’s him and his trainer, Joseph Kittinger, who jumped from 19 miles once. That’s a small club. But some great stories.

The whole thing seemed like sci-fi when it was happening. A guy, a suit and 24 miles of air. That usually requires someone to yell “Beam me up” or something similar. It does not become a Red Bull ad. And yet, that’s exactly what happened, absurd through it may seem.

And it was the sci-fi element to it all that continued to hog my attention. You see, as we were riveted to You Tube watching this unfold in as close to real time as possible, thousands of people were crammed into the Javits Center in New York trying to have sex with people dressed up like ….. well, like cartoon characters. Which was all well and good until one loser spoiled the party.

Real-life dates can break real-life hearts.

Sci-Fi Speed Dating was a hit for self-proclaimed geeks and nerds at New York Comic Con this year — 200 people signed up and got real fictional. But a love scandal ripped hearts in two during one of the sessions on Saturday, leaving lusty Princess Leias and sexy Superwomen without partners in crime fighting.

The molten hot asteroid of several women’s eye was a man dressed up as Bane, one of Batman’s arch enemies. Ladies who spoke to HuffPost Weird News said the man was a real charmer during the 2-hour quick-date fest, despite his character being a real nemesis.

But it turned out that Bane was a real life Two-Face.

“We found out he was married,” said a disheartened 22-year-old Jessie Sharcoff of New York. “We heard it through the grapevine.”

In Sci-Fi Speed Dating, nobody gives out their names. Instead they’re assigned a number — to avoid the occasional stalker — and at the end of dozens of rounds, each person writes down his or her favorite numbers. It’s all in hopes that someone they picked out wrote down their number, too.

But during one of Saturday’s sessions, married and monogamous Bane skewed the results — for Sharcoff, anyway.

“What a waste of time!” she said.

Bane refused to comment on his alleged debauchery.

Other participants, like Batman — also known as Kamel Nelson, 25 — had a blast talking with other like-minded fanboys and girls.

“It was a lot of fun, I’d definitely do it again,” Nelson said with a grin. “I met some that I liked, but they didn’t feel the same way. At least this time … I’ll go again.”

Ryan Glitch, the event’s founder and self-proclaimed Geek Doctor of Love, said that plenty of participants got second dates out of the deal.

“There was a lot of success out there,” he said. “We had so many people we had to turn away about 1,000.”

How pathetic do you have to be to dress up in a costume so you can cheat on your wife? And does any wife really believe you when you say “Oh no honey, I’m not even going to look at those scantily clad Supergirls and stuff. I’m just going for the beer and the costume contest.”

I am glad everyone else had fun. It looked like a good time.

One guy who missed the speed dating event still managed to grab a little fun on his own by becoming a ……. you saw this one coming didn’t you? ….. FRUIT NINJA!

Great costumes are part of the fun at New York Comic Con, but it looks like one guy actually found a practical application for his get-up.

Keith Lytle is an Apple store genius by day, but his Comic Con alter ego is a more-than-decent looking Wolverine. Although his claws are plastic, Lytle found at least one situation where they came in handy: dicing up virtual melons in a motion-sensor enabled version of Fruit Ninja.

In this video taken at the Javits Center on Thursday, Lytle slices his way through about a minute of fun. If his shadow on the screen can be believed, the claws seem to give him a little extra reach.

While he probably wouldn’t be able to use them in competition at the Fruit Ninja championship in Australia, at New York Comic Con, it’s a totally appropriate cosplay.

Several motion sensor games were prominently displayed on the convention floor at New York Comic Con, so chances are Lytle got to test his mettle again.

While cosplay is an important part of the Comic Con experience, people who take their alter egos into the outside world tend to get in trouble with the law.
Earlier this month, a Michigan man who dressed up as Batman was arrested for obstructing a police investigation. And in July, a Pennsylvania man claiming to be a “real-life super hero” was arrested after agitating patrons in the parking lot of a Home Depot.

Here’s some good advice. Unless you really are a billionaire who trained at the feet of Ra’s al Ghul it’s best to leave the fantasy life indoors. You can end up doing more harm than good. Also, just FYI, those latex costumes can be just as much to take off someone as they are to put on. Keep it in mind as you keep it indoors.

Otherwise, your bad decision making skills will lead you to Denamrk to enter the World’s Smallest Penis Contest.

It’s the little things that matter.

At least that’s the case in a Denmark-based competition that is offering an iPhone to the man with the smallest penis.

The contest is sponsored by erotica website Singlesex.dk, and site owner Morten Fabricius admits the idea is “weird and funny and almost too much.”

“It’s a competition which is at the core of manhood, the most important thing for a man,” he said, according to RawStory.com. “There are so many unhappy men out there, who think you have to have a giant penis, but it’s not normal to have a huge one.”

Contestants are asked to send a photo to the website of their erect sex organ with measuring tape next to it.

The man with the smallest penis will win an iPhone, as will another fellow who will be chosen by the site’s female, er, members. Guys who come in second and third place will get an iPad.

The small penis contest has only been going on a short time, but the site has already received a half dozen photos that Fabricius said are being “vetted” to ensure they haven’t been stolen.

As much as he sees the humor of the contest, Fabricius insists there’s a serious side as well: The competition exposes a problem that rarely sees the light of day.

“Everything has to be bigger, and bigger, and bigger,” he said, according to the Australian. “It’s incredible how the media has frightened people from showing themselves as they are,” he said, in part referring to the porn industry.

Entries for the smallest penis contest will be accepted through Jan. 31, and sex experts believe it may have some positive benefits.

Sex educator Jamye Waxman believes that it’s good to get small penises out in the open.

“The average penis is 5.5 inches and all of the guys who are below average will see that they’re not alone,” she told The Huffington Post. “It’s a good opportunity for guys to accept what they’ve got.”

Lora Somoza, a sex columnist for L.A. Weekly and The Huffington Post, agrees that being open about what you have is better than trying to “act cocky” or be in denial, but wonders if a competition is the way to go about it.

“I don’t know how it’s going to be helping people,” she told HuffPost. “Whoever enters must want an iPad really bad.”

But Sam Phillips, a former Penthouse Pet who now hosts “The Single Life,” a radio show on Sirius XM, believes the contest will not only benefit guys with cocktail-weenie-sized penises, but also women like her.

“I personally prefer smaller penises,” she told HuffPost. “I like the penis to hit my G-spot, not my cervix. These guys should be celebrated, not castrated.”

Phillips believes the men who enter the contest may not be expecting the swell of appreciation they will get for their miniature members.

“The guys will be surprised with the support they get from women,” she said. “Most of the time with size, it’s not about the penis, but the size of the vagina.”

No fair using Fei Lin’s stolen penis to win the contest.

Where else but here would that statement even come up?

As it were.

Anyway, folks, a fantasy life is a wonderful thing. It can liven up those dark and lonely nights like nothing else on the planet. but, and this is important, you need to make sure the people around you are okay with that or they will put you in jail, which is not fun.

Cosplay Highlights 2011 from Angel James de Ocampo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.