The Hits Just Keep On Coming

Let’s pretend for a minute that you got a job. I know, I know, you’re really out on the streets selling your blood for food, but this is just pretend. Kind of like playing doctor but you get to keep your pants on. Unless you don’t want to. We’re not that formal around here. Anyway, congratulations, you’ve gotten a job. And this job only requires you to do one thing. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, count to ten. That’s it. That’s your job. Keep the numbers one through ten in their traditional, linear, order. If you can handle that you get a nice paycheck every week. There are other companies that count one through five and so on, but you’re working for the best company of them all. It has an international reputation of being the #1 company in the world when it comes to counting from one through ten. So imagine your surprise, and possible feelings of abject horror, when you meet your boss and he/she tells you that numbers are a lie perpetrated by the evil mole people and that any sane person, by their definition, understands that the Bleen Chronology is the only way to count.

“Wait a minute,” you say, “you had me going there for a minute. Obviously the person in charge of counting from one through ten would know that numbers are accepted manifestations used to represent solid facts.”

So you would think.

And you would be wrong.

Painfully and horribly wrong.

One of the people in charge of the U.S. Science Committee doesn’t believe in science.

No, I am not making this up.

Georgia Congressman Paul Broun came into the national spotlight because of various comments he made that included claiming evolution is a “lie straight from the pit of hell.”

As it happens Congressman Paul Broun sits on the Congressional Science, Space, and Technology committee. Many across the nation are crying foul claiming that Broun’s religious beliefs put him directly at odds with scientific matters that are of national importance. Broun said this during a speech earlier in the year:

I don’t believe that the Earth’s but about 9,000 years old. I believe it was created in six days as we know them. That’s what the Bible says.

One wonders how a man who disbelieves modern scientific study was able to get a seat on a committee that holds the purse strings to billions of dollars annually in scientific projects. The Science, Space, and Technology committee was created in 1957 and has since played an integral part of the space race, the creation of the National Weather Service, while also having ties to atomic readiness programs among countless others.

According to the committee’s official website they also have a “special oversight” function of:

providing for exclusive responsibility among all Congressional Standing Committees to review and study, on a continuing basis, all laws, programs and government activities involving Federal non-military research and development.

Consider the context. Every single program that is scientific but non-military related has to be voted on by a man who believes that all knowledge gained about modern scientific study, including archeology, is a hoax. For Broun’s beliefs to be true, the very people whom he holds power over would have to be engaged in a world-wide conspiracy to defraud.

It will shock no one to learn that he shares a seat on that committee with Todd Aiken. Yes, the man of “legitimate rape” fame. For the record, Mr. Aiken wasn’t too far from the truth. If you’re measuring in light years. Ducks vaginae can reject unwanted intrusions. And you could easily see how, after years of thinking Donald and Daisy were real people, he could get confused. I guess we should all thank God he doesn’t make the same mistake about men. If he thought men had ballistic penises like Muscovy ducks, things could get very complicated.

And messy.

Internationally famous D.J., and all around nice guy, Andy Moy hipped me to this next bit of insanity. Not to be outdone, and in need of some face time on CNN, Arkansas Sate Rep Loy Mauch held a news conference wanting to know why slavery was illegal.

Arkansas state representative Loy Mauch has become the second Republican legislator in the state to claim that slavery may have actually been a good thing. Mauch, whose colleague Jon Hubbard, claimed that slavery was “a blessing in disguise” for African Americans, was outed by the Arkansas Times for pro-slavery, pro-Confederacy letters to the editor he has written over the past 10 years.

The letters were sent to the Democrat-Gazette, and show Mauch defending slavery, repeatedly suggesting that Jesus would have condoned, reports Think Progress. An excerpt of one letter reads:

“If slavery were so God-awful, why didn’t Jesus or Paul condemn it, why was it in the Constitution and why wasn’t there a war before 1861? The South has always stood by the Constitution and limited government. When one attacks the Confederate Battle Flag, he is certainly denouncing these principles of government as well as Christianity.”

Along with his comments about slavery and the Confederate flag, Loy Mauch also states that Abraham Lincoln was a Marxist “war criminal.” Gawker notes that the Arkansas state representative also wrote:

“Nowhere in the Holy Bible have I found a word of condemnation for the operation of slavery, Old or New Testament. If slavery was so bad, why didn’t Jesus, Paul or the prophets say something? This country already lionizes Wehrmacht leaders. They go by the names of Lincoln, Grant, Sherman, Sheridan, Custer, etc. These Marxists not only destroyed the Constitution they were sworn to uphold, but apostatized the word of God. Either these depraved infidels or the Constitution and Scriptures are in error. I’m more persuaded by the word of God.”

NECN reports that Arkansas’ State Republican Party announced on Monday that they will no longer financially support the three candidates whose writings have come under fire for racial charges. The candidates are Mauch, Hubbard, and House candidate Charlie Fuqua, who believes that the death penalty should be used for rebellious children.

The Party’s Chairman Doyle Webb stated that they would no longer financially support either of the three candidates, though he stopped short of asking them to pull out of their races. US Representative Tim Griffin also stated:

“I read a sample of Rep. Mauch’s statements, and they range from outrageous to historically inaccurate and anachronistic to downright odd. As we all know, both parties have folks that say ridiculous things, but I would not have financially supported Mauch had I known about these statements.”

Ah yes, all three of the dudes named in the article are from Arkansas, in case you want to know why you should never stop your car there. Rep. Jon Hubbard called slavery a blessing and said nice things about John Wilkes Booth.

These are some of the leaders of the free world ladies and gentlemen.

I should note that Benton County Republican Party Chairman Mike Sevak has made it clear that comments like the above aren’t really a problem in Arkansas and he expects all three men to be easily re-elected.

For the record, the majority of Arkansas’ republican party politicians want nothing to do with the nutcases. So, there is still hope.

As to Rep. Mauch’s comments about the Bible, I suggest he pop open his unread copy again. Jesus led by example. He had women in his ministry, which no one did back then. He had apostles from all walks of life with Him. Since slavery was legal back then, and a fact of everyday life, had He approved of the practice He could have had all the slaves He wanted.

The number He did have is zero, for those who are unsure.

Also, unlike slavery in the U.S. slaves back then could own property, were able to purchase their freedom and, in the case of Christian slaves, were considered as brothers and sisters and not chattel. That’s not to say that slavery was fun or slaves were never abused, since both statements would be false, just that things were a bit different. Also, slavery then was a much more multi-racial and social thing. The baggage it attained here wasn’t there.

As to the Constitution, slavery was outlawed in the original version. It was reinstated to keep yahoos from the south happy. And, even so, they did what they could to weaken it by giving slaves 3/5 rights when before they had none.

I never said it was a good, or equitable, solution, just what they could do with what was available at the time.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.