Where Be Da Peepls?

The road to hell may be paved with good intentions, but it becomes a super highway when bad intentions are involved. I’ll give you a humorous example. On May 9th, in a resounding repudiation of President Obama’s support of marriage equality, North Carolina passed Amendment 1. Yes, I know, the name is so trite it sounds like it escaped from a 1950’s horror flick swathed in echo. In their attempt to avoid the gay bacchanal that was clearly poised to overrun Raleigh, they kind of over shot their mark and…

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The Wind Blows Free …..

But what does she charge? BWAH HA HA HA HA! Yeah, I’m 12, what of it? I just thought that with the east coast about to be swallowed by the biggest blow job that nature can give, they might need a smile. And since nothing evokes a smile from me more than a blow job, I’ll just rudely assume that everyone agrees with me and move on. A surprising stat found was that women who perform oral sex, and swallow, are at lower risk of developing preeclampsia. Not just that,…

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Space Nookie!

This week has seen a series of scientific announcements that might boggle lesser blog readers, but not you. We can start with the Italian scientists who were convicted by an Italian court of, well – nothing really, and sentenced to seven years in prison. This is a great example of what happens when religion and science collide. The court made the assumption that science was magic and that, as magic, it should be able to do the stuff it had seen in the Harry Potter movies. For the record, officially,…

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Keeping Children Safe

If you’ve had the chance to visit a maternity ward in the last decade or so you noticed a new sign reminding people not to have conjugal relations in the prep room where the woman is being monitored to see when she will be ready to give birth. The reason these signs exist is because it had become a problem. “Aww, honey, your contractions are still five minutes apart, let’s slip one more in for old times sake.” Who said romance was dead? What I’m saying is that some rules…

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Why Education Is Important

This site has long proposed that it would benefit everyone if people made educated choices. I know it sounds like a simple idea but its implementation has been woefully lacking. The current presidential election is a shining example of this phenomena. I don’t care if you vote Republicrat or Demican, but please do so based on the facts. For the record I can assure you that Governor Romney is not now, nor has he ever been, a unicorn. I can further assure you that President Obama is not now, nor…

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Aww, C’Mon Honey, Who’s Gonna Know?

Before we begin today let’s take a moment to be completely honest with ourselves. Had the technology existed when we were young there would be some very embarrassing memories being shared right about now. I know you’re riding the high hobby horse now when you are in the “My Morals Corral,” but even when we were barely old enough to know what the heck anything meant “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine” was a time honored tradition. And we honored it. So, if we’d had cell phone…

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Wrap That Sucker Before You … Wow! Look At the Ponies!

I don’t know about you but I have had sex. An unofficial poll of our readers last year showed that 100% of them had also experienced the joys of the occasional mattress mambo. That’s a healthy amount. Now, before you get the idea that I’m about to make fun of some backwards group of morons, I remind you that, in Illinois, it is illegal to be caught nuzzling or kissing a reptile and that having an erection in public is also illegal. I actually am guilty of both. Hey! Don’t…

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Why Police in Florida Should be Allowed to Drink on the Job – Heavily, if Need Be

Normally I would not be the first in line to champion the concept of getting heavily armed people drunk. I try not to be the font of very bad ideas. Yet, today, I am going to forgo common sense and advocate allowing police in Florida to carry a half pint in their patrol cars. Or at their desk or anywhere else they may feel it prudent. You see, after years of writing this blog it finally occurred to me that the men and women in blue who patrol Florida’s vast…

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England is a Scary Freaking Place

When people think of really crazy people doing stupiid things they tend to focus on Americans. Specifically Floridians like Jeremie Calo who got arrested for getting into a fight with a restaurant manager. This was just after he had sex on his table, with his girlfriend not the manager. Or, if they’re monied people, they look to Massachusetts where a brother and sister team, Bob & Amanda Larrivee, were arrested for stealing a TV from a bathroom (the rich have too much money) but, instead, copped to the fact they…

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Let’s Play Dress Up

I live in a neighborhood that is populated by a Mexican midget. She is about 80 years old or so. Her favorite hobby in the whole wide world is to walk up to complete strangers and grab their butt. And she knows she can get away with it. After all, what are you going to do? Really Junior, you’re going to beat up an 80 year old midget? Can you imagine what your life in prison would be like? Because I can and that’s not the life for me. So…

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