Zom-Bees?

You, being a sane and rational person, rarely take talk of impending apocalypses very seriously. You are of a mind that rational people will work things out. And, in the main, history has proven you right. Granted, sometimes, it has taken rational people and a well trained army, but still, in the end everything worked out. So when I write about our eventual enslavement by our robot overlords and the like, you smile and then go have another latte. Sometimes you even send me a funny email. That’s very nice…

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Fook Da Poleees

Today we will go geographically through our stories. Why? Well, because every now and then I need a challenge. It’s easy to just write about Florida and boobs. I can do that in my sleep. So, today, you do not get any references to Florida. Not to worry though, I have found several examples of places where the gene pool has completely dried up. While we all have moments where we don’t think our actions completely through – see my story about making love on top of a police car…

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Mrs. Jesus?

A while back I wrote about Mrs. God and how there was enough historical evidence now to show that early theists believed there was a God and a Mrs. God. If we are truly made in God’s image then that point of view makes complete sense. So now this guy has found a piece of papyrus from a couple thousand years ago and some folks went completely insane over it. Thanks to Dan Brown’s godawful, if I may use that word, piece of literary tripe, people think that his story…

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Even Dumber When They’re Drunk

Those of you who know me know that I am a fan of the occasional frosty cold adult libation. And I’m not that picky about which occasion it is. I have celebrated toupees. every September 2 I, just like you – I’m sure, celebrate National Beheading Day. Is too a real holiday. Click the link if you don’t believe me. Anyway, I celebrate it. Simply put, I like beer. And I like to celebrate stuff. And, to be honest, it isn’t as though I’ve never made the odd minor judgmental…

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Happy Birthday Smiley

Everything comes from somewhere. And it’s not always where you might think. For example, computers came about because of looms. Looms were, and still are, machines that could weave loose threads into fabric and the resulting fabric could be used to make clothes which are handy things to have. Especially when it’s cold. What does any of that have to do with computers? Well, weavers wanted a way to keep the designs consistent. So they developed these cards that, when fitted over the spindles of the loom, would allow only…

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Science Says You’re a Gullible Fool

I often write about the foibles of others. It is one way to remind me, and my readers, that things aren’t so bad. Our lives do not include pleas to make love to menstruating donkeys. In fact I’m going to go out on a limb and say the thought probably never occurred to you. Nor have you ever woken up with the relentless desire to get naked and beat up an S.U.V. In fact, I’d also bet good money that, if you were using a product that was changing your…

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Only in Florida

Back on April 26th of last year I noted that Florida was a fun place to go if you wanted to have sex with your pet. After that Florida went into full on defense mode and tried to outlaw bestiality. They, in the process, outlawed all sex between mammals unless it was specifically for husbandry. When it was pointed out that humans are mammals and that selling your wife or significant other for sex violates other laws it was quickly rescinded. I should note that this had to be pointed…

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Faster Than Speed?

This is going to take a minute to wrap your head around but please give it a try. Back in the 1960’s Gene Roddenberry postulated, via his TV show Star Trek, that space ships could travel faster than light. This earned him universal disdain from “real” scientists. But, for one fan in Mexico, Miguel Alcubierre, the question wasn’t if it could be done but why it couldn’t be. He went on to get a bus load of degrees and awards and then, in 1994, showed how it could be done.…

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The Million Grandmother March

I grew up in Melrose Park. Many of the people whom others feared when they saw them on the front cover of the Sun Times or Daily News were our neighbors. While nothing was ever said directly you had to be brain dead not to know that “Uncle Tony” (a fictitious name) lived a different life than your dad or uncle or whoever. He had a little more free time and ready cash, waiters and waitresses snapped to when he walked into the room and so on. And while he…

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Unsexy Sex

Sex is one of the few things humans seem to have done consistently well throughout time. Men are pre-programmed to hump anything that moves and a few things that don’t. Women are pre-programmed to be a tad more selective. At least that’s what passes for culturally aware propaganda these days. And it’s close enough to the truth that I can live with it. So it is with some sense of amazement that I continue to find stories concerning people who are completely clueless when it comes to performing sex. Or…

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