When is Love Wrong?

There are always times when you see a couple and instantly think, “Wow, when (pick one) sobers up that relationship is going to crash.” People used to say that about my ex and I. And, while it didn’t completely work out we were together for 10 years and I can promise we were sober during most of it. And while she won’t admit it now, there were plenty of good times hidden in there as well. Today’s column isn’t really about odd couples, just about how society has trouble with certain kinds of love. Some people, no matter what, will never accept any relationship they view as unconventional. They have hard and fast rules on what is, or is not, acceptable and they will do all in their power to inflict their beliefs on others while howling maniacally should anyone sane attempt the inverse. The Chicago based Wrigley company, experts on long suffering relationships in their own right, recently released an ad showing a happy woman making out with a walrus. Obviously, One Million Moms are protesting it.

Well, there really aren’t a million of them. As best I can tell they number about 20. But that’s close enough for the media today.

Bobby the walrus has some serious game.

In the latest Skittles ad, the large, flippered walrus is caught making out with an attractive blonde on a couch. But when Bobby’s supposed girlfriend comes home, the woman explains Bobby is not actually Bobby.

The commercial, which is meant to promote new Skittles flavors that don’t match their candy coating, concludes with the tagline “Taste the Rainbow. Deceive the Rainbow.”

And although the ad is a little vague, at least one group has failed to find anything funny about the new spot, calling the ad inappropriate.

One Million Moms, a conservative advocacy group, issued the following statement on its website:

We are not sure of Skittles’ thought process behind their new ad, but if they are attempting to offend customers, they have succeeded… Parents find this type of advertising inappropriate and unnecessary. Does Skittles’ have our children’s best interest in mind? Skittles candies are for all ages, but their target market is children.

The parents also allege the advertising is not just unfunny and offensive, but that it irresponsibly takes “lightly the act of bestiality.” The group is urges like minded citizens to send Wrigley Co. an email demanding “they pull this offensive commercial immediately.”

But in an email to the Huffington Post, a spokesperson for Wrigley defended the commercial, saying:

Skittles has won millions of fans with its unique and unexpected advertising. As a fun-loving candy brand, we never intend to offend people with our irreverent humor and don’t believe this imaginary situation promotes harm or inappropriate behavior with animals.

Merriam-Webster defines bestiality, n., as “sexual relations between a human being and a lower animal.”

While there are no federal anti-bestiality statutes, 30 states currently have criminal laws on the books that prohibit sexual contact with animals, according to Yahoo! Some laws consider the act a felony, while others define it as misdemeanor.

This is not the first time One Million Moms has made headlines for its actions.

The group previously tried (and failed) to get J.C. Penney to drop spokesperson Ellen DeGeneres, condemned America’s Favorite Cookie and most recently slammed NBC’s new show “The New Normal” as part of a network plot to subject Americans to the “decay of morals and values.”

Skittles, on the other hand, is known for its eccentric advertisements, including the vaguely accented “Baby Man Bird” spot, the “Sheep Boy” ad, and, of course, the man with the crazy, trunk-like, Skittles-snatching beard.

Really? They saw that ad and seriously thought that a major corporation was advocating sex with Odobenus rosmarus?

Don’t get too worried, by the Pre-Neanderthal standards of One Million Moms, the Mod Squad promoted race mixing. No, the part that held my attention is where the author noted that there are still twenty states where a man and his cow can openly share their commitment but outlaw gay marriage.

It is exactly that kind of messed up mentality that led to this next train wreck. Chris and Martin, a gay couple who have been together almost a decade, were publicly humiliated in Texas by baggage handlers (who clearly have baggage of their own).

A gay couple is accusing United Continental of “extreme and outrageous” conduct over an alleged incident involving a sex toy taped to their luggage, which the men say caused them severe emotional trauma.

Christopher Bridgeman and Martin Borger of Norfolk, Va., are seeking damages for intentional infliction of emotional distress, invasion of privacy and negligence in a lawsuit filed against the airline on Friday in the District Court of Harris County, Texas.

“It still brings butterflies to my stomach,” Borger, 35, told NBC News when recalling the episode.

United countered that it has conducted a thorough investigation and determined that there is no support for the allegations, spokeswoman Christen David said in a statement.

“United does not tolerate discrimination of any kind,” David said. “We will vigorously defend ourselves and our employees.”

The incident allegedly happened on May 21, 2011, as Bridgeman and Borger were returning from a vacation in Costa Rica. The men — who have been together for almost nine years — were flying back to Norfolk on Continental with a 90-minute layover at George Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston. (Continental merged with United in 2010.)

Once they landed in Houston, the men collected their checked bags, went through customs, rechecked their luggage and boarded their flight to Virginia without incident.

But when they arrived in Norfolk and went to the baggage claim area, the couple discovered a sex toy had been taken from one of their bags, covered in a “greasy foul-smelling substance” and “taped prominently” to the top of the bag, according to the lawsuit.

Borger was the one to first spot the luggage.

“I knew exactly what it was when I saw it,” he told NBC News. “I was absolutely and utterly shocked and embarrassed and humiliated and I didn’t even know what to do at the time.”

Onlookers began laughing when they saw the bag, causing the men severe emotional trauma, according to the lawsuit.

Bridgeman speculated an airline employee went through the bag — which was closed with a simple zipper — found the sex toy, saw that it belonged to a man and decided to humiliate the owner.

“I absolutely, fervently believe that this was intentional,” Bridgeman, 34, told NBC News. “It was very sick and it was very wrong and it was just maliciously taped to the top and targeted because we’re gay.”

Why someone opened the bag in the first place is not clear, said Harry Scarborough, the couple’s attorney. He didn’t know whether the bag was X-rayed at the airport in Houston, but if it was, the sex toy would have been visible, he added.

The airline’s employees had a duty to prevent the bag from being put on display “in such an extremely offensive condition,” according to the lawsuit.
Bridgeman and Borger said they reported the incident to United Continental after the flight, but weren’t satisfied with the response.

The airline countered that it offered the men a gesture of goodwill, which they declined, spokeswoman Christen David said.

Scarborough said the offer didn’t begin to address what his clients had been through. He declined to estimate how much money the couple is seeking from the airline, but the lawsuit is requesting mental anguish damages, attorney fees and expenses and other compensation.

The couple doesn’t travel much anymore because of the psychological impact of the incident, Scarborough said.

“A gesture of goodwill” = Weekend at Fire Island.

Yeah, I can see why they might take issue with that.

While I’m sure the high school dropout who pulled the prank thought he (no way a woman did this) was being funny as heck, the fact is all this does is reinforce the belief that inbreeding is bad.

Well, in that case, at least something good came out of this mess.

Discurso eletrico / Eletric speech from Angelo Luz on Vimeo.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.