When is Love Wrong?

There are always times when you see a couple and instantly think, “Wow, when (pick one) sobers up that relationship is going to crash.” People used to say that about my ex and I. And, while it didn’t completely work out we were together for 10 years and I can promise we were sober during most of it. And while she won’t admit it now, there were plenty of good times hidden in there as well. Today’s column isn’t really about odd couples, just about how society has trouble with…

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Sleeping Your Way Into Trouble

I have gotten into trouble for doing lots of stupid things in my life. Much to the chagrin of my biographer, I have no one to blame but myself. I was awake and, reasonably, in control of my senses. When I was busted having sex on top of a cop car, I was lucid. Horny? As a bunny in April. But still lucid. When I decided to hop a freight to Minnesota to see a girl? Sorry, still lucid. When I realized I’d hopped the wrong one and was on…

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It’s Like Florida, but With More Cows

You’re looking at the pic to the left and wondering what the hell I have to pay to get a grown woman to pose like that. You’ll be pleased to know the answer is nothing. She posted that image all by herself. It seems she lives in Montana and her image has even been used to explain how Indonesian men can be seduced by cows. Udderly ridiculous you say? Sadly, no. It seems there is a whole sub-genre of humanity that finds bovines beautiful. Considering we live in a country…

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Til Death Do Us Part?

Back on April 24, 2011, I wrote about the possibility of human immortality. Some of the stuff that was being talked about then was pretty interesting, at least in the abstract. Scientists noted that sea squids and starfish, two asexual species, passed along 100% of their genetic code. In that way their consciousness lives forever even if the vessel of their consciousness (a/k/a body) doesn’t. Which then opens up another can of worms, also an immortal asexual creature since it replaces itself one segment at a time. What, when all…

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The Love Boat, Strippers and a Room Full of Republicans

What an amazing convergance we are witnessing. A tropical storm, and possible hurricane, named after notorious left wing loony Ted Lange’s famous bartender. As is well known Ted’s won awards for supporting crazy crap like equal rights and froo-froo intellectualism with his ongoing teaching of Shakespeare. Like anyone reads any more. What a bunch of silliness. Anyway, as Isaac barrels towards Tampa police realized they had a couple of problems; (1) where to put all the left wing loonies, like Ted, after they get arrested and what to do about…

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I Screwed Up

The last time I screwed up, I got the name of a comet wrong, I received 3, lengthy, emails from NASA scientists explaining why I should never procreate. So I shouldn’t be surprised that this new screw up engendered the kind of response usually reserved for serial killers. And what sucks is the fact that it is all my fault. There is nothing I can do but suck it up and take my lumps. Two days ago I wrote about Congressman Paul Ryan’s switch from Ayn Rand to St. Thomas…

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Let’s Have Fun With Congressman Ryan

“Don’t give me Ayn Rand,” Paul Ryan told the National Review. “Give me Thomas Aquinas.” Okay, I shall. Ayn Rand, for those playing catch up, was an eastern European Atheist who was pro woman’s rights, anti-government in the extreme and the author of several books that touted her world view called “Objectivism.” In simple terms it is a philosophy of self to the exclusion of all others. Think of it as the anti-religion in the purest sense. You can understand why Catholics were confused by Mr. Ryan’s embracing of that…

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Yoda’s Hurling Again

“Dude you wrote that funny thing about stuff. You know, Star Wars and Star Trek and stuff? Could you find it again please?” Well, yes I did and yes I can. And since it rounds out the previous two blogs nicely I’m tossing it back up. This originally appeared on January 8, 2011. *************** There has always been a clearly defined line between Start Trek fans and Star Wars fans. Star Trek’s are the more cerebral of the two. Fans not only follow the shows, they learn new languages, discuss…

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Thanking Dr. King for Star Trek (again)

This is a repost from February 11, 2012 at the request of a fan. You’re welcome Latisha. ************** You read the title and figured, “Okay, this is it. The big dude has finally lost it.” Everyone knows that Dr. King had a dream and not a star ship. Well, “everyone” knows lots of crap that’s wrong. Although it is true that Dr. King did not actually have a star ship, he did have a dream that powered one. And that dream led to the unlikely event of television’s first ever…

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Great Minds Do Not Think Alike. Great Minds Think.

L. Ron Hubbard once said that the concept of twisting two pieces of metal together and calling them an egg beater, before any said “egg beater” had been invented, was the definition of science fiction. L. Ron Hubbard was an idiot. All it is is a new method for doing a common task. He was also, as has been noted here before, a racist and a lousy writer. The Church of Scientology, a diseased piece of crap he founded when reality proved too hard, describes Hubbard in glowing terms as…

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