Getting Schooled

Catholic school was different when I was a kid
All across our great nation debates are swirling around the drain-hole of sanity concerning how we should educate our young. Are we spending too little or too much on them? Should education be standardized or should the ability to think critically be considered? In some cases the debate actually seems to be “If we should edjumakate them” in the first place. After all, they’re just going to grow up and make sneakers for $3.50 an hour since there will soon be no laws concerning child labor or minimum wage. Of course silly things like that are unnecessary in a modern society. The nice man on FOX TV just said so and I know he wouldn’t lie to me. Trust the rich, he said, they’re better than you.

Of course, the debate about education is difficult enough as is. So when blogs like this appear it doesn’t really help. Of course it does provide a laugh.

In Spring Creek Nevada, a Ron Paul stronghold, graduating students discovered that their diplomas had a spelling error.

Students at a northeastern Nevada high school were surprised when they received their diplomas: the word “graduation” was misspelled as “graduataion.”

Spring Creek High Principal Keith Walz told the Elko Daily Free Press that the misspelling on about 200 diplomas ordered from the Salt Lake City company Jostens was an “inadvertent mistake.”

Jostens spokesman Bryan Durfey acknowledges the company was responsible for the mistake, and says corrected diplomas already have been sent by priority mail directly to graduates.

He says the company realizes it isn’t going to be perfect, and its policy is to fix errors immediately.

The school will not be charged for the extra diplomas.

In a similar incident, diplomas at a Maryland high school are being reprinted because they contained a misspelling of the word “program.”

An “inadvertent mistake?” Has there ever, in the history of history, been a purposeful mistake? Okay, new rule. You must be able to speak English at the fifth grade level before you can become a teacher.

Meanwhile, down the road a piece in Fort Worth Texas, teachers dealt with a delicate situation with class and dignity.

HA HA!! Fooled you!

They stripped a kid naked and forcibly bathed him until he was injured.

The parents of a third-grade boy have sued two Texas school employees, alleging that they forced their son to strip and shower in front of them because he “smelled badly, was dirty and had bad hygiene.”

The eight-year-old was singled out last November and taken to the nurse’s office at Peaster Elementary School where he was forced to remove his clothes, the suit alleges, the Courthouse News Service reported.

The two school officials then “began violently washing his body with a washcloth, scrubbing him over a large portion of his body, stuck cotton balls in his ears, all while ridiculing and harassing him about being ‘dirty,'” the complaint claims.

The child’s parents, Amber and Michael Tilley, said they lodged a police report over the incident but no charges were laid.

On Thursday, the Tilleys filed their lawsuit against Peaster Independent School District and Peaster Elementary School employees Julie West and Debbie Van Rite in federal court in Fort Worth.

“It’s terrible, and we don’t want anything like that to happen to any other children,” Amber Tilley told NBC Dallas-Fort Worth.

According to the lawsuit, the incident left the boy “visibly and severely distraught,” and he had to see a therapist after.

“He just kept on and on, wanting to take baths,” Amber Tilley said. “You know, he just felt so disgusting.”

She added that her son did not have a problem with body odour or cleanliness.

The school district and Peaster Elementary did not respond to calls for comments Friday.

Options that do not include stripping and mauling a child;

  • calling the parents to take the child home
  • calmly explaining proper hygiene and then offering the child use of a school shower
  • allowing the child to complete his day and send him home with a note

I could go on but I think you get the idea.

Of course Texas is the state wherein high school graduates aren’t eligible to go to the University of Texas since their schooling is woefully inadequate. On the other hand, they have a state full of kids who think that Columbus discovered Mexico and that mustard gas is something you put on a hot dog.

That’s got to be good for something. I mean you’ve got an entire state full of people who are too stupid to do manual labor. Or, looked at another way, you have a state full of people who think Manual Labor is the president of Mexico.

Thank God they have the right to vote.

Just a little west of education’s wasteland, teachers in Clovis New Mexico shut down the school because of a …… burrito.

No, I am not making this up.

A call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school. All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped into Marshall Junior High.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapeños and wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

“I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry,” school Principal Diana Russell said.

State police, Clovis police and the Curry County Sheriff’s Department arrived at the school shortly after 8:30 a.m. They searched the premises and determined there was no immediate danger.

In the meantime, more than 30 parents, alerted by a radio report, descended on the school. Visibly shaken, they gathered around in a semicircle, straining their necks, awaiting news.

“There needs to be security before the kids walk through the door,” said Heather Black, whose son attends the school.

After the lockdown was lifted but before the burrito was identified as the culprit, parents pulled 75 students out of school, Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on.

“The kid was sitting there as I’m describing this (report of a student with a suspicious package) and he’s thinking, ‘Oh, my gosh, they’re talking about my burrito.'”

Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

“He said, ‘I think I’m the person they saw,'” Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey’s extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product.
sylvania
“We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos,” Morrissey said.

After students heard the description of what police were looking for, he and his friends began to make the connection. He then took the burrito to the office.

“The police saw it and everyone just started laughing. It was a laughter of relief,” Morrissey said.

“Oh, and I have a new nickname now. It’s Burrito Boy.”

Think about how they handled this; they flooded the school with cops and then began broadcasting a generic message about a possible weapon. Which, had it been a weapon, would have caused the person carrying same to use it if he/she planned on getting out alive.

This was their Plan “A”?

Seriously? What was plan “B”? Weaponize the janitorial staff?

Okay, since we’re talking about burritos and stupid people there’s no better way to tie them all together than this next story. Workers in Sharpsville Pennsylvania have won the right to eat spoiled food.

Again, no, I am not making this up.

Unionized cafeteria workers in one western Pennsylvania school district have won the right to eat expired food for free — at their own risk.

The Herald of Sharon, Pa., reports Monday that the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees filed a grievance against the Sharpsville Area School District last year after school officials “violated established past practice” by no longer allowing workers to eat the expired food for free.

The newspaper got a copy of a settlement approved by the school board last month.

Under the agreement, food items that are past their expiration date or reheated in a way that they can no longer be served to students may still be eaten for free by the cafeteria workers.

Workers must pay for unexpired food they eat.

Wow. They must belong to the worst union in the world.

You get paid below minimum wage, you have no benefits but, this is the selling point, you can eat a moldy burrito whenever you want.

HOO-freaking-RAY!

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