Before we begin, I’d like a show of hands, white people only. How many of you had applied for those great jobs that the President just handed to all those horrible illegal aliens? Anyone? Look, I know that we are all born stupid but there is no reason to stay that way. 150 years ago everyone in this country was, by modern standards, illegal or harboring same. The whole “illegal alien” movement was originally founded by the same fun loving psychopaths who passed laws in favor of eugenics and so on. We’d call them “Nazi sympathizers” but they prefer “decent Americans.” What they find “decent” in rampant xenophobia, paranoid spittling and hate eludes me, but there you go. But, hey, if those jobs are so important to you, then come on by. My lawn needs mowing, my neighbor’s garden needs tending and so on. Plenty of work around here and it pays a full $5.00 an hour, cash.
While we’re at it, let’s take a look at the number of disruptions caused by gays in the military. That would be none, in case you have trouble counting. Well, that’s not entirely true, Secretary of Defense, Leon Panetta, has had to rearrange some schedules so the military could march in a gay pride parade this year. No, members of the military will not get a rainbow ribbon for participating.
So who has been causing disruptions? Why, idiots of course. Really stupid idiots. The kind who saw a military truck cruising down a public highway under functioning street lights and assumed it was carrying a UFO. Because, as you know, the military has so many damn UFOs in their secret Maryland bunkers that they just have run out of room.
Beltway traffic in Washington, D.C., is bad enough without adding extraterrestrial vehicles into the mix.
On Wednesday night, Facebook and Twitter users went wild over sightings of a saucer-shaped vessel being towed on local highways. The buzz called to mind the frenzy in 1947 Roswell, albeit in a much more modern way.
Drivers spotted the craft on I-270 and on the Beltway as it was pulled behind a tractor trailer.
But we can take the “unidentified” out of “unidentified flying object.” (And yes, we realize that it wasn’t actually flying, either.) The military has confirmed to NBC News affiliate News4 that the 82-foot-long craft is an unmanned military aircraft, known as an X-47B.
Maryland State Police towed it on a flatbed trailer from Garrett County, Md., to Naval Air Station Patuxent River.
The drone had come all the way from California — and yes, it “always attracts attention,” a military spokesperson told NBC4’s Melissa Mollet.
The craft is the second of its kind to come to the area. An X-47B arrived in late 2011 — although if they towed that one on the Beltway, no one must have noticed.
“In the coming months, you can expect to see the X-47B flying over the base and surrounding area along the Chesapeake Bay,” said Matt Funk, lead test engineer.
According to a military press release:
The X-47B is the first unmanned vehicle designed to take off and land on an aircraft carrier. As part of the program’s demonstration, the X-47B will perform arrested landings and catapult launches at Pax to validate its ability to conduct precision approaches to the carrier. The base is one of only a few sites in the world where the Navy can run performance tests on aircraft-carrier catapult operations at a land-based facility with flight test and engineering support resources not available on a ship.
Although Maryland State Police helped orchestrate the the drone’s Wednesday night commute, even they didn’t know what it was at the time, police told News4.
“Don’t worry, that’s not an alien spacecraft, just a flying military robot. [That was a] totally normal sentence in 2012. I love the future,” Ben Jacobs tweeted.
I love when people jump to the least logical conclusion and then trumpet their ignorance. The nice thing about Twitter and Facebook is that it is easier to spot these people and remove them from your life.
By the way, if you think the X-47B looks like a UFO, you should see its predecessor, the X-47A, which – and I’m sure this is a pure coincidence – looks exactly like the UFOs that have been popping up over the last couple of years in the Mid and South West.
Don’t worry, when the aliens do finally land I’m sure there will be plenty of busboy jobs for them.
Feliz sábado mis amigos! Aquí hay un video con los extranjeros homosexuales.
Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.