Archives for May 2012

This has been a fun month. On May 9th of this year North Carolina passed the Amendment 1 act. This fun bit of whimsy was designed to ban gay marriages. Well, that’s what they said. Much to your surprise, they lied. As it turns out they have limited all spousal and related rights to only heterosexual married couples. That means, children of divorced parents have no rights. Children of single parents have no rights. Non married abused women have severely reduced rights. Gay people? Well, they need to move to Kansas.

And quickly.

You see on May 26th of this year Kansas passed the innocuous sounding Senate Bill 79. Here are the salient sections for any lawyers looking to make a big name for themselves.

Sec. 2. As used in this act, “foreign law,” “legal code” or “system” means any law, legal code or system of a jurisdiction outside of any state or territory of the United States, including, but not limited to, international organizations and tribunals and applied by that jurisdiction’s courts, administrative bodies or other formal or informal tribunals.

Sec. 3. Any court, arbitration, tribunal or administrative agency ruling or decision shall violate the public policy of this state and be void and unenforceable if the court, arbitration, tribunal or administrative agency bases its rulings or decisions in the matter at issue in whole or in part on any foreign law, legal code or system that would not grant the parties affected by the ruling or decision the same fundamental liberties, rights and privileges granted under the United States and Kansas constitutions, including, but not limited to, equal protection, due process, free exercise of religion, freedom of speech or press, and any right of privacy or marriage.

For those of you who slept through school, the New Testament section of the Christian Bible (part of the basis for banning gay marriage) was written in Greece and Rome. Mostly Rome. Its original language was Greek and its first translation of value was into Latin and it was used as the basis for numerous onerous laws that led to the social perversions of the Middle Ages. The other half of the Christian Bible, the Old Testament, was written in Aramaic and is the basis for existing laws in Israel. In other words, it is in clear violation of Section 2 above.

And the denial of marriage rights, or any other rights, to gays or anyone else is a clear violation of Section 3. Especially if the denial of those rights is based on any Biblical admonition.

So Kansas, in its attempt to return to the Dark Ages, has just managed to make San Francisco look like Utah.

GO KC!

Oh sure, the illiterate, xenophobic, masses will do everything in their power to stop anyone enlightened enough to use this law for the common good. So what? God knows the ACLU in Kansas hasn’t had much to do lately. This could give them a whole new reason to live.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

Do you remember the fad to spare every child’s feelings? No child will ever be a loser? Which led to every child getting a “Second Best Tryer” award. And it led to each and every child being woefully unprepared for any kind of life that involved interacting with humans. Let’s not forget the laws of Prohibition here in the U.S. in the 20’s. Thanks to a group of sanctimonious losers the Mafia became stronger and more lethal than ever before. See “War on Drugs” for an example of how to make a bad idea worse. Sometimes the effect isn’t so epic. You buy granny a membership to a spa and she drains the bank account to move to Argentina with her trainer. You couldn’t really see that one coming. But, Friday, Kansas enacted a law that should have fans of gay marriage and many other lifestyle choices leaping for joy.

You think I’m kidding don’t you?

Pay attention. First allow me to share the USA Today story with you in case you missed the gist of this train wreck.

Kansas Gov. Sam Brownback has signed a law aimed at keeping the state’s courts or government agencies from basing decisions on Islamic or other foreign legal codes, and a national Muslim group’s spokesman said Friday that a court challenge is likely.

The new law, taking effect July 1, doesn’t specifically mention Shariah law, which broadly refers to codes within the Islamic legal system. Instead, it says courts, administrative agencies or state tribunals can’t base rulings on any foreign law or legal system that would not grant the parties the same rights guaranteed by state and U.S. constitutions.

“This bill should provide protection for Kansas citizens from the application of foreign laws,” said Stephen Gele, spokesman for the American Public Policy Alliance, a Michigan group promoting model legislation similar to the new Kansas law. “The bill does not read, in any way, to be discriminatory against any religion.”

But supporters have worried specifically about Shariah law being applied in Kansas court cases, and the alliance says on its website that it wants to protect Americans’ freedoms from “infiltration” by foreign laws and legal doctrines, “especially Islamic Shariah Law.”

Brownback’s office notified the state Senate of his decision Friday, but he actually signed the measure Monday. The governor’s spokeswoman, Sherriene Jones-Sontag, said in a statement that the bill “makes it clear that Kansas courts will rely exclusively on the laws of our state and our nation when deciding cases and will not consider the laws of foreign jurisdictions.”

Muslim groups had urged Brownback to veto the measure, arguing that it promotes discrimination. Ibrahim Hooper, a spokesman for the Washington-based Council on American-Islamic Relations, said a court challenge is likely because supporters of the measure frequently expressed concern about Shariah law.

Hooper said of Brownback, “If he claims it has nothing to do with Shariah or Islamic law or Muslims, then he wasn’t paying attention.”

Both the Washington-based council and the National Conference of State Legislatures say such proposals have been considered in 20 states, including Kansas. Gele said laws similar to Kansas’ new statute have been enacted in Arizona, Louisiana and Tennessee.

Oklahoma voters approved a ballot initiative in 2010 that specifically mentioned Shariah law, but both a federal judge and a federal appeals court blocked it.

There are no known cases in which a Kansas judge has based a ruling on Islamic law. However, supporters of the bill have cited a pending case in Sedgwick County in which a man seeking to divorce his wife has asked for property to be divided under a marriage contract in line with Shariah law.

Supporters argue the measure simply ensures that legal decisions will protect long-cherished liberties, such as freedom of speech and religion and the right to equal treatment under the law. Gele said the measure would come into play if someone wanted to enforce a libel judgment against an American from a foreign nation without the same free speech protections.

“It is perfectly constitutional,” he said.

The House approved the bill unanimously and the Senate, with broad, bipartisan support. Even some legislators who were skeptical of it believed it was broad and bland enough that it didn’t represent a specific political attack on Muslims.

“This disturbing recent trend of activist judges relying upon the laws of other nations has been rejected by overwhelming bipartisan majorities in both the Kansas House and Senate,” Jones-Sontag said.

The measure’s chief sponsor, Rep. Peggy Mast, an Emporia Republican, also has said all Kansans, including Muslims, should be comfortable with the new law, but she did not immediately respond Friday to telephone and email messages seeking comment.

Rep. Scott Schwab, an Olathe Republican, acknowledged that the measure merely “made some people happy” and that a vote against it could be cast politically as a vote in favor of Shariah law.

“Am I really concerned that Shariah law is going to take over the Kansas courts? No,” he said. “I’m more concerned about getting jobs to Kansas.”

The Michigan-based alliance advocates model “American Law for American Courts” legislation. Its website says, “America has unique values of liberty which do not exist in foreign legal systems, particularly Shariah Law.”

During the Kansas Senate’s debate on the bill earlier this month, Sen. Susan Wagle, a Wichita Republican described a vote for the measure as a vote for women’s rights, adding, “They stone women to death in countries that have Shariah law.”

Hooper said supporters of such proposals have made it clear they are targeting Islamic law.

“Underlying all of this is demonizing Islam and marginalizing American Muslims,” he said.

Okay, just for the record, this is a giant slap in the face of America’s Islamic community. But, and here’s the fun part, it’s a game changer for every left wing nut job on the planet. It is now open season in Kansas if your bible has the story of Adam and Steve.

You see the law, as written and revised, guarantees that no one can be denied rights based on religious law and that no judge can use religious or foreign law as the basis of any ruling. Well, the only prohibition against gay marriage is in the bible. Any laws endorsing, or judicial rulings against, it would then be invalid thanks to Senate Bill 79.

Yes, that link is to the actual law for all the lawyers who play along with us.

But let’s move on, Blue Laws, those laws that keep bars closed on Sunday, they’re out too since they are purely based on the timing of when Christians, and no others, go to church. That is religious discrimination and is barred by the new law.

Actually Kansas, like many conservative states, has many laws on its books that are based on Christian beliefs to the exclusion of all others.

All of which would now have to be tossed thanks to Senate Bill 79.

Jewish marriage laws? Gone. Islamic burial laws? Gone. Christian limits on others? Bye bye.

So, since I know that Muslims have just as good a sense of humor as everyone else, I hope they can sit back and laugh themselves silly as the eventual backlash of this law becomes evident.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

You don’t have to delve deep into the bowels of the internet to find people screaming about the confusing world of sales. Once, to win a bar bet, I stretched six different insurance offers in a row so that the end result was that the final company owed me $50 per month to insure me. I got that result by taking the comparisons (35% less than our competitor, we can save you $250 per year ….) until I got the result I wanted. Obviously that would never happen but you can see why consumers can be confused. So, clearly, the solution that would make everyone happy would be to have stores simply price things honestly.

Right?

A blouse worth $10 priced at $10 works. Right?

Well, as it turns out, not even a little bit. Bob Sullivan of MSN writes about how JC Penney tried that and nearly went bankrupt.

You might have seen recently that iconic retailer JC Penney is slumping badly. You almost certainly have seen the reason why: A massive, creative and aggressive new advertising and pricing campaign that promises simplified prices.

No more coupons or confusing multiple markdowns. No more 600 sales a year. No more deceptive circulars full of sneaky fine print. Heck, the store even did away with the 99 cents on the end of most price tags. Just honest, clear prices.

Sounds like a sales pitch aimed at consumer advocates and collectors of fine print frustration, like me. As it turned out, it was a sales pitch that only a consumer advocate could love.

Shoppers hated it.

The campaign, which launched on Feb. 1, appears to be a disaster. Revenue dropped 20 percent for the first quarter compared to last year. Customer traffic fell 10 percent. Last year, the company made $64 million in the first quarter; this year, it lost $163 million.
Could we have a moment of silence please for what might be the last heartbeat of honest price tags?

Not only did Penney’s plain pricing structure fail to attract fair-minded shoppers – business reporters wrote with seeming glee during the past few days that it “repelled” them.

Don’t blame Ellen DeGeneres, the spokeswoman for the Penney’s plain pricing campaign. If only executives at the firm were familiar with the work of behavioral economist Xavier Gabaix and the concept of “shrouding,” all of this could have been avoided.

Seven years ago, Gabaix and co-author David Laibson wrote a brilliant (if depressing) paper on shrouding and “information suppression” that should be required reading for all consumers and executives considering a harebrained new pricing strategy. The principle is simple, and shows why cheating is rampant in our markets and why honesty is rarely the best policy.

First, a definition of shrouding:

In days gone by, price tags were simple. An apple cost 10 cents. A cup of coffee cost $1. But today, the consumer marketplace is far more complicated, giving sellers the opportunity to create confusion. Many items have follow-up costs that make the original price tag meaningless.

Computer printers are the classic example. You might get a great deal on a printer, but if the ink is expensive, you lose in the end. In fact, Gabaix argues that it’s impossible for consumers to intelligently shop for printers. No consumer knows how much ink costs — the cartridges don’t come in standard sizes, the amount of ink used to print varies and ink costs are unpredictable. That makes the true price of a printer “shrouded,” in Gabaix’s terminology. Not quite hidden, but not quite clear, either. Advantage seller. It’s easy for printer companies to lowball printer price tags and overcharge for ink, enabling them to print money.

If you think about it, shrouded price tags are everywhere. The hotel website might say “$99 a night” but you know the bill will be more like $120 or $130. Pay TV companies promise $30-a-month service, which ends up costing more like $50. And what happens when you buy a TV with a store credit card that offers an upfront discount but a complex interest charge? And so it goes.

Consumers complain about this constantly. That’s the basis of the Red Tape Chronicles in fact. At its best, the maddening mixture of coupons, rebates, sales and fine print fees can feel like a game. At worst, it’s being cheated. You’d think shoppers would love a chance to buy from a store that doesn’t play these games, the way car buyers (allegedly) like shopping at no-haggle auto dealerships.

They don’t, says Gabaix, and Penney should have known better.

“I think it was an ill-advised move,” he said.

All this price manipulation is really an information war, he says. Shoppers hunt for the tricks that let them save money. Stores hide booby traps that let them take money. It’s a bad system, one I’ve labeled “Gotcha Capitalism.” But it is the system we have now.

And it’s simply impossible, Gabaix argues, to be the one company that attempts to bridge this information gap. If a firm tries to educate consumers on tricks and traps, and tries to offer an honest product, a funny thing happens: Consumers say, “Thank you for the tips,” and go back to the tricky companies, where they exploit the new knowledge to get cheaper prices, leaving the “honest” firm in the dust.

“Once you educate consumers on the right way to shop, they will seek out the lowest cost store, and that will be the one with the shrouded prices,” he said. “Once they are savvier consumers, you make less money from them.”

Gabaix calls this the “curse of debiasing.” And it leads to this depressing conclusion: “Shrouding is the more profitable strategy.”

To oversimplify for a moment, here’s Penney’s problem. They told the world that retailers only offer their best prices during crazy sales, and Penney stores would no longer host them. Sensible consumers apparently took that information to heart and decided to simply wait for such sales at other stores. As an added benefit, Penney lowered consumers’ search costs, because they now knew they didn’t need to bother driving to a Penney’s store anymore.

That’s probably not what new Penney CEO Ron Johnson had in mind when he decided to spend his marketing budget on those witty DeGeneres ads. A former Apple Inc. executive who took the Penney’s job in November, he thought he was lifting the store out of the brutal commodity clothing market. He may ultimately succeed at that. But he won’t do it by telling customers the firm’s pricing is fairer than at other stores, Gabaix believes.

“It will be a very, very uphill battle,” Gabaix said. “So, sorry for them.”

There have been a few other celebrated efforts by companies to educate consumers that their higher prices are really lower prices after hidden fees. During the last decade, Intercontinental Hotels experimented with up-front pricing that included all fees on its website. Executives at the firm told the New York Times that customers left in droves, choosing competitors with lowball prices.

More recently, Southwest Airlines has undertaken the most aggressive anti-shrouding campaign to date, picking on other airlines’ baggage fees. The profitable carrier is holding its own with its “Bags Fly Free” campaign, but there are indications that the firm won’t be able to resist all that free money forever. In what may be a sign of things to come, Southwest elected to leave AirTran’s baggage fee structure in place after it acquired the competitor last year.

Shrouding isn’t the only reason Penney’s pricing plan is flawed. The firm is also leaving a lot of money on the table by rejecting a phenomenon known as “price discrimination.” Some people have more money than time, and some have more time than money. Some shoppers don’t mind spending hours to save $20; others would gladly give a store $20 to escape quickly. Smart retailers get money from both. By killing couponing, Penney has eliminated its ability to satisfy price discriminators.

And as others have pointed out, markdowns serve the age-old retailing trick of “anchoring.” For some reason, even very smart consumers feel better paying $60 for something if you initially tell them it costs $100, and then reduce the price.

But the real problem is Penney’s ill-fated attempt to cast itself as the only fair poker player in a game of cheats. Shoppers just aren’t buying it. However unsophisticated consumers are, very few of them believe a pair of shoes bought at Penney’s everyday low price will be cheaper than a pair of shoes bought at Macy’s on clearance with a 25 percent off coupon.

Like it or not, hidden fees – and secret discounts – are here to stay.

Just for poops and giggles, I ran around the old Interweb for a bit and tried to see why customers are so stupid. The answer lies everywhere you turn. Ever since the first tailor started his annual going out of business sale in the Bronx circa 1898, people have been falling more for crap and feeling good about it. And because people fall for stupid stuff like this they fall for Nigerian scams. And because they fall for Nigerian scams they listen to opinion and mistake it for fact.

I could go on, but you see the inherent problem.

People are really stupid and, as the immortal Ron White has noted, you can’t fix stupid.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

I love a good crime. By that I mean the kind where no one gets hurt and the bad person gets brought to justice, such as it is these days. I’ll admit that I would prefer there be no crime at all but that doesn’t seem very realistic. I also happen to like a good conspiracy theory. One of my enduring faves is the whole sub-culture of UFOligists who claim to have been threatened by the men in black. They all point to the story of Dr. Herb Hopkins as though this was the proof you’ve been looking for. Okay, just for poops and giggles, let’s look at Dr. Hopkins’ story.

Dr. Hopkins claimed to have definitive proof of the existence of UFOs. He also claimed to have been visited by a bald, derby wearing, pale, man dressed all in black with fake lips drawn on his face. That was the “normal” part of his story.

This classic MIB story gets even stranger.

The odd visitor told Hopkins to take a coin out of his pocket and hold it in the palm of his hand.

“He said, ‘Watch the coin,’ and it started to develop a silver color instead of copper, and then the silver became bluish and the penny was getting quite fuzzy, out of focus, blurred, and then it simply was gone — it slowly dematerialized.”

Following the coin magic, the stranger ordered the doctor to destroy all information he had gathered about the UFO case.

“As he spoke his last words, I noticed his speech was slowing down. His words became slower and farther spaced. He slowly got to his feet, unsteadily, and he said very slowly, ‘My — energy — is — running — low — must — go — now — goodbye.’ Just like that.”

Hopkins said that the MIB — whoever or whatever he was — clung tightly to the railing as he went down the steps outside, placing both feet on each step, and then disappeared around the corner into a bright light.

When the chilling encounter was over, a terrified, intimidated Hopkins destroyed all traces of any UFO materials he had.

Oh what a shame. All his proof is gone and now the world will never know.

What a coincidence that this happened just as scientists were demanding that he put up or shut up. I mean the venerable Doc Hopkins wouldn’t make something like this up just to hide the fact that all his earlier claims were baseless fantasies. Would he?

You know what? He’s not even the weirdest guy in today’s blog.

Chow Hok Kuen was arrested for carrying roasted fetuses.

Forget about eye of newt. Real-life black magic practitioners are in the market for roasted fetuses.

British citizen Chow Hok Kuen, 28, was arrested in Thailand on Friday after police found six fetal corpses in his luggage, according to the Independent. The bodies, which belonged to fetuses between two and seven months old, had been roasted, and some were covered in gold leaf.

Thai police made the discovery after receiving a tip that a black magic services website was offering fetuses for sale, according to the New York Daily News. Roasting fetuses and covering them in gold is part of a black magic ritual called Kuman thong, which means “golden child” in Thai. The preserved bodies are thought to bring good fortune to the owner, according to the International Business Times.

Authorities believe that Chow was planning to smuggle the fetuses to his native Taiwan, where one corpse could sell for up to $200,000 Thai baht, or $6,376, WCVB reports.

How does this become a career choice?

“Wish me luck mom, I’m going to be selling gold plated fetuses in Thailand.”

“My son, my wonderful son, thank God you went to Oxford.”

Of course, if you want your kid to be resourceful then you want your kid to be just like Randy Smith.

He turned a children’s toy into a lethal weapon.

This is hardly child’s play: Randy Smith, 54, was reportedly found walking the streets of Fresno, Calif., Saturday night, carrying a Super Soaker that he had converted into a 20-gauge shotgun, according to KMPH.

Normally cops wouldn’t raise an eyebrow at someone waltzing around town with one of a high-powered plastic water guns, but an uptick in toy-to-gun conversions made officers more suspicious of Smith.

They stopped him and found that he had indeed fashioned a powerful weapon out of $30 worth of parts.

“He took the Super Soaker apart, was able to fashion a barrel to where he was able to make what’s considered a zip gun, where you can fire one round through it. In this case it was a 20-gauge shotgun shell,” Fresno Police Sgt. Mark Hudson told the station.

But as NBC pointed out, the conversion isn’t just illegal, it’s dangerous for the manufacturer. Makeshift barrels can explode under pressure, sending shrapnel and gunpowder flying.

“So they’re just relying on, maybe this [gun barrel] will hold up. Well, you could be putting a gun next to your head, or you could be putting a hand grenade next to your head,” Hudson said.

Again, what was the thought process there? Was there any?

Speaking of not thinking things through, if you go on a job interview and the job turns out to be “rob a casino” it is okay to turn that job down. Just ask Michael Belton.

A hapless bandit lost his wig, sunglasses and $115,000 worth of casino chips when security wrestled him to the floor during a botched weekend heist at a posh Vegas Strip resort, authorities said Monday.

Two men attempted to rob the Bellagio on Saturday night by spraying a blackjack dealer and others with a caustic eye-burning chemical, police said.

With the distraction in the air, Michael Q. Belton snatched up nearly two dozen high-value chips and took off for the door, according to a police report.

The man who sprayed the noxious gas escaped, but Belton was tackled to the floor and held until police arrived.

Belton struggled at first, according to the police arrest report, but then suddenly stopped fighting back against casino employees and surrendered.

He dropped 23 red, white and blue chips, valued at $5,000 each, police said.

“How long am I going away for?” Belton asked detectives during a recorded interview following his arrest, according to the report.

Investigators said Belton, of Nuevo, Calif., about 65 miles east of Los Angeles, told them he needed the money because he is unemployed and his grandparents are ill.

He told police he didn’t know the man who got away. Bolton told investigators he responded to an Internet posting for a job repossessing cars. But he said when he reached Las Vegas, the man who posted the job ad said he wanted him to help another man rob the Bellagio.

Belton was held Monday on $60,000 bail at the Clark County jail pending an initial court appearance Tuesday on felony robbery, conspiracy and burglary charges. It was not immediately clear whether he had a lawyer.

Officer Jose Hernandez, a department spokesman, said the investigation was ongoing and Belton would not agree to a jail interview.

The suspect who got away apparently did not take any chips as he fled. Police said all chips were recovered, and casino officials say they sustained no financial loss.

Well, at least he was trying to take care of his relatives (allegedly), which is more than can be said for Shana Bishop. She is the inspiration for moms the world over who tossed her naked kid in a pile of trash so she could dance in a driveway.

A South Carolina woman was arrested for child neglect last week after Spartanburg County Sheriff’s deputies discovered her naked 2-year-old son asleep in a pile of trash on the floor of her car, WYFF-TV reports.

The woman, 36-year-old Shana Bishop, pulled into a stranger’s driveway and began dancing around. A witnesses said that a cup holder from the car was stuck in Bishop’s hair.

A resident called authorities, who questioned Bishop. A Spartanburg Country Sheriff’s deputy said that the woman thought she was at her mother-in-law’s house, appeared to be under the influence of narcotics and admitted to prior use of methamphetamine.

Deputies found Bishop’s child sleeping on the trash-covered floorboard of the woman’s 1996 Cadillac DeVille, according to Go Upstate.

Bishop was arrested and charged with child neglect, according to court records.

The toddler, whom deputies said had welts and bruises on his legs, was taken to a regional hospital, then released into the custody of Bishop’s parents.

According to WYFF-TV, the woman’s parents “said they had been raising the child until three weeks ago, when Bishop took the boy and they were unable to find her.”

See, people, that is not how responsible World News Center readers party. No, we emulate Jerald Reiter and get drunk and go for a drive with our zebra.

An Iowa man stopped outside a Dubuque bar with a small zebra and a parrot in his truck has been charged with drunken driving.

KCRG-TV reports officers arrested 56-year-old Jerald Reiter of Cascade on Sunday in the parking lot of the Dog House bar, where people had been taking photos of the animals.

Reiter says the zebra and macaw parrot are pets and like riding in the truck. Reiter claims he sometimes takes the animals into the bar, but the owner says they’re not allowed inside.

Officers gave Reiter a field sobriety test and charged him with drunken driving. Reiter disputes the arrest. He says he was about to let a passenger, a person, begin driving.

He says he thinks someone who came to see the animals called police.

Is he sure? I mean, how cool would it be to be driven around Iowa by a zebra? I have had dreams like that.

Well, c’mon, who hasn’t?

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.