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You are here: Home / 2012 / Archives for April 2012

Archives for April 2012

Those Cute Little Eggs

April 6, 2012 by

Here at World News Center we can "sex up" any holiday. Our Purim is legendary.
Last week we took a look at the bizarre history of modern Easter celebrations. Today we’re going to focus on those cute little eggs you hand out to kids. And the occasional sugar crazed adult. Today you’ll find out how hiding Easter eggs is a great way to avoid zealous monks and how the whole egg thing gradually replaced human sacrifice as a way to say “YO GOD! THANKS!” Although not nearly as quickly as many might have hoped. Especially those who happened to be viewing their final sunny day while laying on an alter. It really doesn’t matter if the alter was comfy or not at that point. Hundreds of early religions, including Judaism and some Christian sects, viewed human sacrifice as a necessary accoutrement to prayer. The nice people at Death Reference have some interesting facts for you to consider. I’ll tie them into Easter in a moment but, for now, just enjoy them.

How many people were sacrificed by the Incas and Aztecs? This question can now be answered with confidence. Yes, the Incas of Peru and the Aztec of Mexico put a great many people to ritualistic death. This proposition was doubted for some years, in part because this kind of mass slaughter was difficult to imagine. Evidence has become increasingly clear, however, that human sacrifice was a core feature of the Inca and Aztec cultures.

Remains of Inca sacrifices have been dated from as long ago as 5000 B.C.E., sometimes on the towering peaks of the Andes, sometimes in the coastal desert. Archaeological investigations have found evidence of human sacrifice into the sixteenth century, and this practice is thought to have continued for some time afterward. Tenochtitlan (predecessor to Mexico City) is known to have been the active site of human sacrifices long before Spanish forces arrived to witness these events firsthand: There were already huge collections of skulls on display.

Twenty-first-century historians tend to agree that human sacrifice was both a unifying event and an intense demonstration of religious beliefs for these powerful empires. The Aztecs believed that the “vital energies” of one person could be transferred to another person through drinking the blood and eating the flesh. The gods also craved flesh and blood, so human sacrifice benefited both Aztecs and their ever-hungry deities. Sacrifice was an integral part of their worldview in which the threat of death was ever present, a threat that had to be countered by extreme and relentless measures that would magically transform death into life. Discoveries since the mid-twentieth century confirm that many women were sacrificed in special rituals intended to renew the fertility cycle.

Peruvian sacrifices were also concerned with encouraging the gods to bless their fertility. For reasons that are not entirely clear, the priests appear to have sacrificed an extraordinary number of children. Also somewhat obscure are the reasons for their practice of decapitating their victims. Having left no written records, the Incas and other Peruvian cultures have also taken with them their secrets and mysteries.

They tied human sacrifice to fertility directly. Other cultures, especially those in the the Middle East, tended to take a broader view on human sacrifice and made it a part of their everyday life for anything from solving armed conflict to bricklaying.

Foundation and passage sacrifices. There is abundant archaeological evidence that many societies practiced both animal and human sacrifice to persuade the gods to protect their buildings and ensure safe passage through dangerous areas where their own gods might lack jurisdiction. Burials suggestive of sacrifice have been found in the sites of ancient bridges and buildings throughout Asia, Europe, and North Africa. It was widely believed that territories were under the control of local gods who might be angered by intrusions. Blood sacrifice at border crossings (often marked by rivers) and within buildings were thought to be prudent offerings. Sacrificial victims were also interred beneath city gates.

Children were often selected as the sacrificial offerings. Excavation of the Bridge Gate in Bremen, Germany, and several ancient fortresses in Wales are among the many examples of this practice. According to the Book of Kings, when Joshua destroyed Jericho he prophesized that the man who rebuilds Jericho “shall lay the foundation stones thereof upon the body of his first born and in his youngest son shall he set up the gates thereof.” In rebuilding the city, Hiel later sacrificed his oldest and youngest sons in precisely this manner. The historian Nigel Davies observes that biblical accounts of foundation sacrifices have been supported by archaeological investigations:

In the sanctuary in Gezer were found two burnt skeletons of six-year-old children and the skulls of two adolescents that had been sawn in two. At Meggido a girl of fifteen had been killed and buried in the foundations of a large structure. Excavations show that the practice of interring children under new buildings was widespread and some were evidently buried alive. (Davies 1981, p. 61)

Foundation sacrifices dedicated to fertility (as, for example, in storage buildings) often involved infant and child victims. Captives, slaves, and criminals have also been selected as sacrificial victims on many occasions. That foundation sacrifices belong only to the remote past could be an erroneous assumption. In early twentieth-century Borneo an eyewitness testified that a criminal was buried alive in every posthole for a new building so that he might become a guardian spirit.

“Hey Bob, have we got a great job for you ….”

Yeah, I’d pass too. But, back then, it was a high, if short lived, honor.

By the time Jesus was crucified polite society was starting to frown on the whole concept of human sacrifice, unless it was for “the good of the state.” Nevertheless, rituals had to be observed, fertility sanctioned and so on. Many cultures, not just the European pagans, had a long history of citing eggs as the beginning of the world and of all life. For them there was no question, the egg came first.

So, when all else failed, various religions just let the locals substitute symbols for the various sacrifices and holocausts called for in their religious texts. And it doesn’t take a deep reading of the Old Testament to find tons of examples of those. Exodus and Kings are festooned with them.

And, because no plan ever really works, and because pagans thought the whole Jesus story was the ultimate blood sacrifice, things got tied together that were never meant to even be in the same room. Which led to this;

History of Easter Eggs and Easter Candy

The history of Easter Eggs as a symbol of new life should come as no surprise. The notion that the Earth itself was hatched from an egg was once widespread and appears in creation stories ranging from Asian to Ireland.

Eggs, in ancient times in Northern Europe, were a potent symbol of fertility and often used in rituals to guarantee a woman’s ability to bear children. To this day rural “grannywomen” (lay midwives/healers in the Appalachian mountains) still use eggs to predict, with uncanny accuracy, the sex of an unborn child by watching the rotation of an egg as it is suspended by a string over the abdomen of a pregnant woman.

Dyed eggs are given as gifts in many cultures. Decorated eggs bring with them a wish for the prosperity of the abundance during the coming year.

Folklore suggests that Easter egg hunts arose in Europe during “the Burning Times”, when the rise of Christianity led to the shunning (and persecution) of the followers of the “Old Religion”. Instead of giving the eggs as gifts the adults made a game of hiding them, gathering the children together and encouraging them to find the eggs. Some believe that the authorities seeking to find the “heathens” would follow or bribe the children to reveal where they found the eggs so that the property owner could be brought to justice.

The meat that is traditionally associated with Easter is ham. Though some might argue that ham is served at Easter since it is a “Christian” meat, (prohibited for others by the religious laws of Judaism and Islam) the origin probably lies in the early practices of the pagans of Northern Europe.

Having slaughtered and preserved the meat of their agricultural animals during the Blood Moon celebrations the previous autumn so they would have food throughout the winter months, they would celebrate the occasion by using up the last of the remaining cured meats.

In anticipation that the arrival of spring with its emerging plants and wildlife would provide them with fresh food in abundance, it was customary for many pagans to begin fasting at the time of the vernal equinox, clearing the “poisons” (and excess weight) produced by the heavier winter meals that had been stored in their bodies over the winter. Some have suggested that the purpose of this fasting may have been to create a sought-after state of “altered consciousness” in time for the spring festivals. One cannot but wonder if this practice of fasting might have been a forerunner of “giving up” foods during the Lenten season.

Chocolate Easter bunnies and eggs, marshmallow chicks in pastel colors, and candy of all sorts . . . these have pagan origins as well! To understand their association with religion we need to examine the meaning of food as a symbol.

The ancient belief that, by eating something we take on its characteristics formed the basis for the earliest “blessings” before meals (a way to honor the life that had been sacrificed so that we as humans could enjoy life) and, presumably, for the more recent Christian sacrament of communion as well.

Shaping candy Easter eggs and bunnies out of candy to celebrate the spring festival was, simply put, a way to celebrate the symbols of the goddess and the season, while laying claim to their strengths (vitality, growth, and fertility) for ourselves.

If you want to wander through a complete list of pagan gods who are involved in resurrection myths just click here and plan on reading for a while. You’ll also find out about hot cross buns and why they have nothing to do with Christianity.

Yeah, we could keep this up for years.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Screwing Up Sex

April 5, 2012 by

Gee thanks mom and dad, my therapist needed a new Porsche.
A lot of what motivated me today can be traced to Samantha Brick. She’s the moaning cow in England who claims that women hate her because she’s too pretty. By “too pretty” she seems to mean “walks upright and has majority of her original teeth.” She talks about how men give her lots of gifts. That is the textbook definition of how men treat slutty mistresses. So, by “too pretty” we discern what she really means is “puts out on first date with other women’s boyfriends.” Which is fine. There’s nothing wrong with sluts. God knows a couple got me through some needy times. But please don’t confuse the issue. The way men act around her has nothing to do with her looks. Other than in a rudimentary, she’s better than roadkill, sort of way. Of course it doesn’t help that she’s blond and dresses like she just left a thrift store.

That being said, things must be pretty bad in the U.K. is she’s the hottest thing going.

But they’re still better than Kentucky where police arrested a man for watching wrestling videos. Oh wait, I mean they arrested a man at the library for jerking off to wrestling videos. Which, sadly, only reinforces my thoughts on professional wrestling and it’s target market.

And it’s certainly better than in Israel where people have been getting that special feeling by eating Honey Sex.

Scientists tested the “Honey Sex” and discovered the chemical Sildenafil, known as the active ingredient in the erectile disfunction drug Viagra.

The Health Ministry is warning Israelis against using the sweet stimulant. Consuming “Honey Sex” without consulting a medical professional could lead to heart problems or other side effects, the government statement said.

As an alternative, curious individuals who don’t strictly follow the laws of Kashrut might consider Baconlube, a savory sexual lubricant with smokey pork flavoring.

Seriously? Israeli scientists are advising devout Jews to use a pork flavored lubricant? I’m sure they’ll be real popular this Passover.

Not to be outdone, cops in Glenn Falls N.Y. arrested a guy for public fornication in a bar. And then things got weird.

This bartender may start making patrons pinky-promise not to bite him after his harrowing ordeal.

The Times Union reports that a man was kicked out of a Glens Falls, N.Y., bar after he was caught having sex in a designated smoking room.

While he was being escorted out, police say Ernest Vannier bit the pinky finger of a male bartender, almost chomping the finger clean-off.

“He took the whole end of it off and broke the bone,” Police Sgt. Keith Knoop told the Post Star.

Thankfully, doctors were able to re-attach the finger, Knoop told the paper.

This latest finger-biting-battle comes just weeks after the Washington Post reported on a St. Patrick’s Day brawl that ended with one man’s finger being gnawed off.

C’mon people, I thought we all learned not to bite when we were 4. Actually there’s a lot of stuff we were taught when we were young that folks just seem to forget.

Of course, some people forget more than others. For example, who knew that Amish Gone Wild would be the scariest and most perverted thing going?

Who knew you could be so perverted without the use of any electricity?

There’s been a slew of disturbing reports from Amish country, and not the kind that bring in tourists hoping to see how butter is made.

Not that kind of butter, anyway.

This man, 26-year-old Chester A. Mast, is accused of various sex crimes across two states, including statutory rape, statutory sodomy, sexual misconduct involving a child, repeated sexual assault of the same child and incest.

Police say the Curryville, Missouri, man admitted to sex and oral sex with a girl under the age of 17. Police also say Mast also admitted to masturbating in front of a girl under the age of 15, according to Hannibal.net.

But that’s not the only sordid tale from Amish country. No… in fact, this Cousin Mose lookalike might be considered just plain normal compared to this next lot.

Police in Lancaster, Wisconsin, say they’ve arrested two Amish men and accusing them of incest, sex with minors as young as 5 years old and sex with a animals.

I never thought bestiality would be the lesser of the charge in any story in which it appears… but these farmers have managed to pull it off.

The two men charged are brothers: Christian G. Stolzfus, 19, and Dannie G. Stolzfus, 18, both of Fennimore, Wisconsin.

Between the two of them, they’re charged with having sex with at least six family members, a cow and a horse. according to Wisconsin’s Channel3000.com.

The Web site reports that Christian Stolzfus “is charged with repeated sexual assault of a child, four counts of first-degree sexual assault of a child under the age of 13 without great bodily harm; attempted first-degree sexual assault of a child under the age of 13 without great bodily harm; two counts of incest; exposing genitals or pubic area; and two counts of sexual gratification with an animal.”

In addition, Dannie Stolzfus “is charged with two counts of incest and sexual gratification with an animal,” according to the site.

And in case you’re wondering, police believe these alleged acts took place on at least two different farms.

The pair are facing nearly 500 years in prison — 400 for Christian, 90 for Dannie if convicted.

Who knows — they might even be shunned.

No, sorry, I got nothing funny on that one.

But thanks be to God for Florida. I gots lots funny there. First off, a story about beating your meat that puts the phrase in a whole new light.

Elsie Egan faces domestic abuse charges after the meaty onslaught – which followed a row over which kind of bread they should eat.

She's all that and a bag of chips

Disabled boyfriend Peter Schabhuttl, 49, said he was hit ‘on top of his head with an uncooked steak, approximately 10-16oz’ for wanting a bread roll instead of sliced bread.

Egan, 53, of Dunnellon, Florida, denied wielding the steak but said she slapped him several times ‘so he can learn’.

Police noted redness on Mr Schabhuttl’s cheek and crown.

Yeah, she done be learnin’ him up good. She done learned him that he be better off whacking off to wrestling videos than being anywhere near her.

I mentioned sluts earlier and how they like to be showered with gifts. What I did not mention was white trash hookers who turn tricks for Happy Meals.

Of course it happened in Florida.

A woman was arrested in a prostitution sting — but not before she got two double cheeseburgers off the dollar menu at a McDonald’s.

Christine Faith Baker, 47, was walking on a Southwest Florida street last Friday when she was approached by a detective working in the Manatee County Sheriff Office’s special investigations division, according to a sheriff’s office report.

After the undercover detective invited Baker into his car and the talk turned to sex, she said her fee would be two double cheeseburgers from the dollar menu at McDonald’s, the report states.

The detective bought the burgers for $2.75 and then Baker told him that he could also tip her $40 for her services, according to the report. After Baker gave the detective directions to a vacant lot, Baker was arrested by other agents and charged with prostitution, the report states.

Baker was released from jail on Saturday, according to the sheriff’s office website.

$40 tip? For less than $3.00 worth of food? Does she think she works for the government?

Anyway, just as a point of journalistic accuracy, I called the McDonald’s in question and found out that the double cheeseburger is not on the dollar menu, as claimed above, so that was why it was $2.75 instead of $2.07 as it would have been otherwise.

I also found out she’s a regular customer.

But I can’t let you go through your day thinking everyone screws up sex. The story of Rachelle Chapman should give us all

Nearly two years after she was paralyzed in a freak accident at her bachelorette party, Rachelle Chapman looks forward to becoming a mother and continues to show that a woman can be beautiful and confident even in a wheelchair.

TODAY has followed the journey of the 26-year-old from Knightdale, N.C., and her husband, Chris, since her accident on May 23, 2010, through their wedding and honeymoon in July 2011. Since their last appearance on TODAY, Rachelle has learned to drive a specially modified van and has experienced standing and walking with the help of specialized machines at a rehabilitation facility called “Project Walk’’ in Carlsbad, Calif.

She aims to write a book about her experiences to inspire others in similar situations and jokingly told Hoda Kotb on Friday that the working title is “Hot, Sexy, and Rollin’ on 24s.’’

“It’s not just the story about my life, my injury and us; it’s also the story about (how) you can be sexy and you can be pretty in a wheelchair, and you can have confidence,’’ she said. “We’re just normal people, and no matter who you are and what situation you’re in, you can have confidence.’’

Showing that confidence, Chapman entered the Ms. Wheelchair Pageant in North Carolina last week, where she came up short of the first prize. She also plans on going to schools to read students a children’s book titled “New Opportunities’’ to help kids understand spinal cord injuries.

“To be able to start a family would be one of my bigger goals for Rachelle, not only because I know how important it is for her, but I believe she deserves that,’’ her physical therapist, Kimberly Davis, told NBC News. “I know that she and Chris would be wonderful parents.’’

Chapman has radiated confidence since the day she was playfully pushed into a swimming pool at a party in Virginia Beach, Va., by one of her bridesmaids and fractured the C6 vertebra in her neck when her head hit the bottom of the pool. The accident left her paralyzed from the collarbone down.

Her wedding was postponed for more than a year, but Chris stayed by her side and she was eventually pushed down the aisle by her father to become his wife on July 22, 2011.

After an all-expenses paid honeymoon to Fiji courtesy of 1-800 Registry, which also sponsored the wedding, Rachelle continues to inspire with each milestone she achieves. In January, she took her first trip to the spinal cord injury center at “Project Walk” thanks to the charitable group Walking With Anthony, which is devoted to helping people cast aside their wheelchairs.

There’s quite a bit more to this story and some fun video as well. So, if you have the chance, go and read the whole thing.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

One of These Things is Not Like the Others

April 4, 2012 by

Okay, what else rhymes with orange?
I realize that we live in a world that not only celebrates diversity but actually requires it to survive. So, in my day to day existence, when I note that this is different than that I usually applaud that knowledge, albeit silently so that I don’t get taken to a happy place with soft walls. You would be surprised how many people will call their local constabulary when faced with someone cheering wildly to themselves. You’d be even more amazed at the lack of humor displayed by the local gendarmes when they arrive. You would think that a lack of a sense of humor was a requirement for their job. Of course, the fact that they have guns kind of renders any proceeding somber upon their arrival. It’s hard to keep up the hilarity when people can kill you.

But, enough of my regular day. Let’s talk about the lives of other people. Like the really dangerous people who rob banks and the tellers who laugh their asses off at them. Of course, this particular teller is from Chicago, thus the guts and intelligence.

A quick-thinking teller is being credited with stopping a robbery by telling a woman with a demand note that the Northwest Side bank was closed, the FBI says.

The heist was foiled last week at the Albany Bank and Trust in the 3400 block of West Lawrence Avenue, according to a criminal complaint filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court.

Around 5 p.m. on March 29, Olga L. Perdomo entered the band and handed a note to a teller demanding “all of your money, no cops, no dye pack,” according to the complaint.

But instead of handing over any cash, the teller told Perdomo to come back the next day.

“(The teller) took the note and told the female that the bank was closed and that she should come back tomorrow. The female then left the bank,” the complaint states.

Surveillance video captured the woman, dressed in plaid pajama bottoms and a dark-colored hooded jacket with a large emblem on the back of the jacket.

The woman did not return the following day, but a bank employee who had seen the video spotted Perdomo outside the bank at about 3:20 p.m. Monday.

The employee called police who spotted Perdomo walking outside the bank with a man identified in the complaint as Willie Weathersby. Police recognized him as having robbed the same bank of $2,589 on March 23, according to the complaint.

Chicago police quickly arrested Perdomo and caught Weathersby after a brief chase.

The two appeared in U.S. District Court Tuesday.

I love that story even more than the one when the teller told the guy he’d written the hold up note on the wrong bank’s paperwork so he had to go rob a different bank. Which he tried to do, said the police who arrested him.

Cops love days like this.

Almost as much as they love when moms and daughters (an AWWW moment on the O Network) who point guns at people and take their money.

Move over Bonnie and Clyde and Frank and Jesse James, you’ve got (alleged) multistate bank-robbing company: Evie and Amelia.

Yesterday Police in Gulfport, Mississippi, busted 57-year-old Evie Mearlene Herrin and her 30-year-old daughter Amelia Darci Crew, both of the Texas town of Cleveland, as they were speeding down I-10 away from an alleged robbery of a Regions Bank. Police say they found the loot and a gun in the car.

According to the Gulfport Sun-Herald, Evie Mearlene donned a wig, walked in the bank, flashed (or possibly just implied she had) a gun and demanded cash. Crew was the alleged getaway driver.

Eyewitnesses gave police a good description of the car and the two were pulled over seven minutes after the robbery.

This might not be Evie and Amelia’s first heist.

Police in Henderson, Texas, believe that the mama-daughter duo took down that town’s Citizen’s National Bank on Leap Day and that they are responsible for four robberies: some in Texas, at least one more in Louisiana and the Gulfport job.

The women are currently in the Harrison County Jail on $200,000 bond, and the FBI is investigating their alleged trail of Thelma and Louise Gulf Coast mayhem.

“I love to sing,, and ADORE being the center of attention,” posted an Evie Herrin (who we’re almost positive is the mama) on Facebook. “Even if that requires me being a GOOBER….”

Or a ROBBER, apparently.

And it looks like the only song she’ll be singing soon is “Jailhouse Rock.”

They can put on a popular prison musical, then they can act out scenes from the greatest female empowerment movie ever made and then bake cookies.

I like cookies and that’s the kind of stuff moms and daughters should focus on.

Of course, not all families rob banks. That would be boring. Police in Florida, of course it’s Florida, are reporting that a man tried to kill his mom because she used his taco sauce.

Good Mexican-food God, what is it with Floridians, weird crime and tacos?

Christopher Phillips, 23 of Manatee County, found out that his mother had used some of his taco sauce. Naturally, he got so angry he decided to put her in a headlock. Then his girlfriend got involved. It was not a salsa fiesta.

According to the Smoking Gun, the incident happened on Monday afternoon. Christopher shares a home with his mother, and found out that his mama, Rebecca Phillips, had used his taco and salsa sauce on her dinner. Things got more heated than the most spicy salsa.

Christopher got up in his moms face while screaming and yelling. Rebecca pushed him back, that’s when Christopher decided to put his mom in a headlock. In the process he broke her glasses and caused pain to her neck.

Rebecca managed to break free, but Christopher wasn’t done. He went into his room and got his live in girlfriend, Lisa Tyre, 27.

Lisa, ever a classy lady, decided to get in on the action too. She started yelling at Rebecca, and then slapped her across the face four times. She took two slaps to both cheeks. The slaps caused a cut in Rebecca’s mouth.

She asked her son for her own car keys, but he refused to return them. So she walked all the way to her husband’s place of work before calling the police.

Both Christopher and Lisa were arrested on misdemeanor domestic battery charges.

No word on whether Mama decided to eat the rest of the taco sauce with a spoon while the pair was in jail out of spite. Sure, it might have stung the cut in her mouth, but true aficionados know taco sauce and salsa are dishes best eaten out of spite.

If you started from scratch and had never met a Mexican, you could still make a batch of taco sauce in 10 minutes or less.

Of course not every Floridian likes tacos. Some like to go to Applebees, get smashed, get naked, beat people up and sing karaoke.

All at once in a perfect world.

He must have been singing Creed.

A man knocked out a manager of a Florida Applebee’s late Sunday after employees cut him off during his one-man show, police said.

Jeffrey Thompson, 28, of Texas, was charged with battery and disorderly conduct after he took the stage at the Melbourne restaurant, took some clothes off and went berserk following terrible reviews on his performance, WKMG reported.

“He was intoxicated. It was karaoke night and he became very involved with his performance,” Melbourne police Sgt. Byron Barnes told the station. “He took his clothes off as he sang to the audience.”

A manager turned the music off after one customer complained during the stunt. Witnesses said Thompson threw one punch and knocked the employee out, WTSP reported.

A Palm Bay cop, who was eating at the restaurant at the time, chased the sad singer down and arrested him.

WKMG caught a shirtless Thompson mouthing off on video as he was shoved into a squad car.

“That one punched knocked you out, huh boy?” Thompson appeared to be saying.

Bad karaoke can certainly be a heated issue. But in the Philippines, it can get you killed. The New York Times has reported that Frank Sinatra’s “My Way” has been banned from many karaoke bars in the country because the song regularly incites violence — even resulting in deaths.

If you’ve ever sat through some tool crucifying My Way, you can completely understand.

But what’s different about any of these stories? Nothing. I write about idiots like this all the time. But, Ryan Gatenby, the nice man who lets me ruin his radio show once a week, and I have been bemoaning the lack of flying cars and other cool stuff we were promised as kids. Well, now, those promises are being fulfilled and that is something very different.

A flying car is being unveiled this week at the New York Auto Show, and we can’t help but wonder: If the roads are jam-packed with crazy drivers now, what would it be like if they all had flying cars?

The manufacturer, Terrafugia of Woborn, Mass., reports that it’s already received more than 100 preorders for its flying car — the Transition. The $279,000 dual-use vehicle sports folding wings and rugged, all-terrain wheels that will allow it to transition smoothly from the driveway to the roadway to the runway and beyond.

The first versions are expected to be available for delivery later this year. The vehicle will not take flight at the New York Auto Show, so the manufacturers released a sneak peek of the Transition doing its thing in this video recording of its first test flight.

The Transition, which reached an altitude of 1,400 feet, has a 23-gallon gas tank and can refuel at the average gas station.

Now, for the reality check: Flying cars may be a mainstay of science-fiction books, but they’re not likely to be a reality for the commuting masses.

They’d create an air-traffic nightmare for the Federal Aviation Administration, and they’re not suitable for major airports. (Unless some pretty drastic changes take place at the federal level, all flying still needs to be done in and out of an airport.)

“The Transition isn’t designed to replace anyone’s car, but it could replace your airplane,” according to the manufacturer’s website. “The Transition won’t be flown in and out of the congested commercial airspace that most commercial airlines and air travelers use. Most of the 5,200 public airports around the U.S., where one would fly a Transition, are underutilized.”

For those who happen to have their own airplane and are looking to save a few bucks, the Terrafugia website says the Transition might be just the answer: The flying car “reduces the cost of ownership of an airplane by burning automotive gasoline, parking in your garage at home instead of renting a hangar, and nearly eliminating ground transportation costs.”

This is not to be confused with the PAL-V (Personal Air and Land vehicle) that turns a car into a helicopter. Although that’s pretty darn cool too.

After dealing with nothing but idiots I thought it would be nice to end on a positive note.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Family Values Florida Style

April 2, 2012 by

Yeah honey, this will be the perfect pic to send to your mom.
We live in a country that espouses family values. Many brandish them like clubs. And, while I might think that such usage would contradict the core idea, enough people do so these days that it seems normal. Which is what makes articles like this one so much fun. As regular readers of this blog know, Florida recently outlawed bestiality. It took them four tries and one try actually outlawed all sex between mammals until someone broke out a 4th grade biology book (from another state) and realized what mammals were. And still are. They’re those hairy things that excrete milk for their young, in case you weren’t sure. Their like include dolphins, kangaroos, dogs and humans. And, while I still oppose kangaroo / human sex, I’m a big fan of human / human sex. In fact, if the producers weren’t such prudes, I could go for a little of that right now. Well, true, I’d need a partner, no fun living with nothing but a left handed love affair, but I’m betting I could figure something out.

That’s why God created credit cards.

Anyway, let’s take a look at some loving families and how they encourage their members to better themselves. Like Curtis Pace and his underage nephew.

A Sarasota man was arrested after encouraging his underage nephew to commit an armed robbery with him, an arrest report shows.

On Feb. 1, Curtis Pace, 45, and his nephew robbed three people at gunpoint in the 4200 block of 53rd Avenue West in Bradenton.

The pair then drove off, but authorities tracked them down through the GPS on one of the stolen cell phones. They were arrested in Sarasota.

Pace later told authorities he and his nephew had been smoking rock cocaine. Pace is now at the Manatee County jail on several charges, including armed robbery, child abuse and contributing to the delinquency of a minor. He is being held on bonds totaling $186,000.

Can’t you just feel the love and nurturing there?

Of course, there is no bond like the bond between a mother and her daughter. The entire O Network is built on that bit of treacle. So it’s heartening to see that, even in Florida, this holds true.

The Sarasota County Sheriff’s Office has arrested a mother and daughter for stealing high end electronics and other items and in some cases pawning the goods for cash.

Detectives found 55-year-old Colleen Reiheld and her 20-year-old daughter Taylor, both of 155 Siesta Drive in Sarasota, committed several crimes since January of this year. On at least three occasions, the pair was seen entering the Target store located at 8401 South Tamiami Trail in Sarasota, concealing items in bags or purses, and leaving the store without paying. Stolen items include Go Pro HD cameras, a coffee maker, bottles of champagne, a cell phone charger and a tent.

Both women are charged with two counts of Grand Theft, and Colleen is facing additional charges of Dealing in Stolen Property and Providing False Ownership to a Pawn Broker for selling two Go Pro HD cameras and claiming to be the legal owner.

The Reihelds were booked into the Sarasota County Jail Thursday afternoon and later released on bond.

They pawned the goods for cash? What were they thinking? Don’t they know that you’re supposed to collect the stolen stuff and then keep it in an easy to find location? That’s what Zachary Thomas Jones did.

Divine intervention didn’t protect thousands of dollars that deputies say was stolen from a sacred stash spot Thursday.

A North Naples woman reported about $2,200 she kept inside a Bible in her car trunk was taken.

Zachary Thomas Jones, 18, of the 14000 block of Sterling Oaks Drive, North Naples, and the woman’s daughter, who is 16 years old, were arrested Friday by Collier deputies. They are accused of grabbing the woman’s car keys while she was in the shower and removing the cash from the Bible in the car. The woman told deputies she became suspicious when she saw Jones paying cash for nearly $300 in items from a corner store.

The majority of the money was found inside the teen girl’s bedroom closet, according to arrest reports.

Both teens face felony burglary and grant theft charges, as well as resisting a law enforcement officer without violence after deputies reported they tried to run from the scene.

Of course, not all thefts are self serving. Arnene Stanley, a loving mother of one, ripped off Wal-Mart for a ton of cash and prizes so she could care for her daughter.

On Thursday, March 29, detectives arrested Arnene Stanley, W/F, 37, for grand theft. On March 19, a loss prevention officer at the Wal-Mart on SW HWY 200 reported to detectives that Stanley, an assistant manager at the store, had stolen more than $6,000 from the store by creating false return transactions.

During the investigation, detectives collected receipts for returned jewelry items that had conflicting signatures. They also observed surveillance video that showed Stanley performing the transactions with no customers present. Detectives confirmed that Stanley used the identities of at least five victims to make numerous fraudulent transactions.

Stanley told detectives she stole the money to pay for her daughter’s medical bills. She worked for Wal-Mart for more than 20 years. Stanley was arrested and charged with Grand Theft (1 count) and Misuse of Personal Identification (9 counts). Her bond was set at $95,000.

And if she had $95,000 she wouldn’t have needed to steal to pay her daughter’s medical bills.

Just saying.

Of course no about Florida would be complete without boobs and poetry.

And burglars. Have to have burglars.

Roses are red, violets are blue, your poem is nice but we’re still arresting you.

Florida police say a drunk and disorderly 31-year-old woman allegedly tore off her shirt, and flashed her tattooed breasts, revealing a poem, during a burglary investigation.

Susan Stickle and her 44-year-old friend Eric Bachman were allegedly smashing glass and screaming inside a Vero Beach home last Sunday, so neighbors called police to report a possible burglary, according to arrest reports obtained by TCPalm.com.

When cops showed up, the pair was allegedly on the porch screaming expletives and appearing to “be intoxicated by drugs and alcohol.” An officer tried to talk to Bachman, but the suspect told him to go away.

That’s when things got scandalous.

When asked for her name, Stickle allegedly took off her shirt, revealing a completely exposed chest and a tattoo listed as “Poem of a dead tree,” the news website reported.

It’s yet unclear whether Stickle’s tattoo was her own composition or a reference to the Chinese poem by Yang Jian, which makes reference to an abrasive lifestyle:

“I no longer have any leaves, only thorns remain.”

Bachman refused to explain why the two were at the residence. Cops arrested both on charges of disorderly conduct and resisting arrest.

Neighbors later told officers that the house belonged to Bachman, no burglary charges were filed.

That’s right kids, this fine example of the best the gene pool has to offer robbed his own home and trashed it. As to the poem, I’m going to go out on a limb and say this nice lady has never even heard of ancient China let alone read poetry from there.

Here’s a nice song from a Texan that he dedicated to his son. It’s got a nice Floridian blues vibe.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

Filed Under: Uncategorized

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