Dino-Aliens!

Hi, I have come to cute you to death.
Once upon a time there were these cute little things called Dinosaurs. They didn’t call themselves that, of course, Latin hadn’t been invented yet. They tended to call themselves Grrnnk and other colorful phrases. That quibble aside there have been some interesting works of fiction which deal with intelligent dinos. From children’s books such as Dinotopia by James Gurney to adult fiction such as The Homecoming by Barry B. Longyear, which would do very bad things to real estate values if it came true, many authors have looked at what intelligent dinos might mean to you. But we all know that dinos were tiny brained things. Even the terrifying velociraptors in Jurassic Park don’t seem all that threatening when you realize that we have really big guns and stuff like that.

But what if they had big guns too? And space ships and …. well, bad things would happen. Right? Maybe, maybe not. They might be gloriously peaceful and intergalactic vegetarians.

Dr. Robert Breslow, an internationally renowned chemist, issued a press release about ancient amino acids that had a blockbuster finish.

An 
implication 
from
 this 
work 
is 
that 
elsewhere 
in 
the 
universe 
there 
could 
be 
life 
forms 
based
 on 
D 
amino 
acids 
and 
L 
sugars, 
depending 
on 
the 
chirality 
of 
circular 
polarized
 light 
in
 that 
sector 
of 
the universe or 
whatever 
other 
process 
operated 
to 
favor 
the 
L
α‐methyl 
amino acids 
in 
the 
meteorites 
that 
have landed
 on Earth. 

Such 
life 
forms 
could 
well 
be 
advanced 
versions 
of 
dinosaurs, 
if 
mammals 
did 
not 
have the good
 fortune 
to 
have 
the 
dinosaurs 
wiped 
out 
by 
an 
asteroidal 
collision,
 as 
on 
Earth. 

We 
would 
be 
better 
off not 
meeting 
them.

Our old pal Ian O’Neill takes a look at the ramifications.

It sounds like the ultimate science fiction storyline: what if the dinosaurs weren’t wiped-out by an asteroid impact 65 million years ago? Perhaps they’d still be alive today, in an advanced evolutionary state, developing their space program and their own asteroid impact mitigation strategies. Sadly for us, this would have probably meant that mammals wouldn’t have gotten a foothold and the fledgling human race would have become glorified dino-chum.

In new research published in the Journal of the American Chemical Society, the rather outlandish prospect of alien — not terrestrial — dinosaur life is explored by Ronald Breslow. And these dino-aliens (“Dinolians”?) didn’t have the misfortune of being smacked by an asteroid and/or get snuffed out by a volcanic eruption.

But before we get too carried away with thoughts of pirate Velociraptors flying space shuttles, attacking interplanetary supply ships (too late!), there is actually some scientific reasoning behind this work — even though the “alien dinosaur” conclusion is a bit “iffy.”

All sugars, amino acids, DNA and RNA exist in one of two possible orientations, left-handed or right-handed. This handedness is known as “chirality.” The theory is that for life to be possible, proteins must contain only one chiral form of amino acids, left or right, for example. Apart from a few bacteria, the chirality of amino acids of all life on Earth is left-handed.

One theory of how life was spawned on Earth is through a mechanism known as “panspermia” — basically, life has the ability to “hop” from one planet to the next encased in the protective shell of meteoroids. If life on Earth was indeed started via a cosmic “seed,” then perhaps life evolved elsewhere in a similar manner as it did on our planet. Perhaps life even evolved with a different chirality than Earth.

“Such life forms could well be advanced versions of dinosaurs, if mammals did not have the good fortune to have the dinosaurs wiped out by an asteroidal collision, as on Earth,” Breslow speculates. “We would be better off not meeting them.”

But this conjecture makes Dinosaur Tracking’s Brian Switek’s “brain ache” — why Breslow is speculating about advanced alien dinosaurs doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

“Our planet’s fossil record has intricately detailed the fact that evolution is not a linear march of progress from one predestined waypoint to another,” says Switek. “Dinosaurs were never destined to be. The history of life on earth has been greatly influenced by chance and contingency, and dinosaurs are a perfect example of this fact.”

In other words, there’s no reason to think dinosaurs are an inevitable consequence of the evolution of life. It just so happened that life on Earth produced dinosaurs, but they aren’t the only examples of life and life doesn’t have to go through a “dinosaur phase” before it can move onto the next evolutionary step.

So, although there may well be alien equivalents of T. rex’s elsewhere in the galaxy struggling to steer spaceships with their tiny arms (an evolutionary attribute that may have snuffed-out that particular dinosaur species anyway), this is just as fanciful as any other science fiction alien.

Most xeno-evolutionists (cool folks who use really hard science to speculate about possible evolutionary paths) tend to agree that successful creatures would have some similar traits. They would need the ability to grasp and reach. They would need to have the ability to be mobile. The obvious stuff about intelligence is a given. But those requirements would allow a lot of diversity.

In other words, we can all laugh at Dr. Breslow’s whimsy, we’ll also pause every time we see one of those walking lizards.

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG (FOX! Sports) every Friday around 9:10 AM.

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