We Doth Reap What We Doth Sow

She's just a-reapin' an a sowin'.
All righty then, feeling kind of cool and kind of funky. Been wanting to bust out a good “doth” on you guys for a while and today provided the perfect opportunity. I mean, this article’s barely started and you’ve already got a reference to a bible quote and a naked English farmer. That alone should tell you that today’s going to be chock full of Nude Hippo goodness. I’m not even going to mention the whole Republican debate last night wherein the candidates either lied or made stuff up so often that Yahoo was forced to dedicate a couple thousand words to trying to straighten things out. Some of the claims were, flat out, howlers. I have learned this much from the Republican primaries, all of the candidates assume their supporters are illiterate buffoons and, so far, that seems to be working for them. I, on the other hand, in true Chicago fashion, am going to vote for the guy who brought the doughnuts.

Of course, the debate was held in Florida, the land where a woman was arrested for attacking a door with a pink flamingo. The plastic bird did not survive. And, sadly, we also live in a country where the hottest item on the internet this week was pics of Miley Cyrus without a bra. She looks like a twelve year old boy. Sorry, not quite what I look for in a woman. I like them all growed up and filled out. However, she does come from a world where country music and Disney intertwine so God knows how screwed up those people are.

In other words, maybe the Republican candidates are right after all.

Cops in Willowbrook, Illinois say Florida’s got nothing on them. A guy named John R. Pacella called 911 demanding that they send over a cop for him to beat up. The Willowbrook police, having a wonderful sense of humor, sent him over several to choose from. He swung at one and the rest arrested him. Besides all the wonderful battery charges Pacella faces, he’s a convicted sex offender. Of course that arrest involved a minor, you wouldn’t have it any other way would you? I bet he’s going to make lots of new friends in prison.

And cops in Fon du Lac Wisconsin claim that Willowbrook and Florida are for amateurs. They have a guy in jail who claims he was set up by a ghost who beat up his wife.

No, really, that’s his defense.

A Wisconsin man arrested for allegedly punching his wife — who claims a ghost is responsible for the domestic abuse — will have a hard time scaring up paranormal researchers to back his claim.

Police in Fond du Lac, Wis., arrested Michael West, 41, on Jan. 15, after responding to a disturbance call. West’s wife told the cops that her husband twice attempted to strangle her and that he struck her in the face when she attempted to call 911.

West told authorities that his wife sustained injuries as a result of several falls. But when an officer pressed the issue, West allegedly opted for a supernatural excuse — “A ghost did it.”

However, his explanation doesn’t have a ghost of a chance of getting any support from researchers like Ron James, a filmmaker who specializes in the paranormal.

“Reports of ghosts attacking people or making them do things are extremely rare and there is no solid evidence to support them,” James told HuffPost Weird News. “You won’t find anyone who will vouch for them.”

James says the only way West’s claim might be legit is if the house has had documented paranormal activity, or if West and his wife have been known to have otherworldly entities following them.

“If the husband had become possessed by some demonic entity, it certainly could manifest as violent,” James said. “It probably is a case where none of us will ever know for sure, but the cynical side of me says that ‘a ghost made me do it’ is a pretty convenient excuse.”

According to documents obtained by The Smoking Gun, West’s wife says his violent behavior has increased and there had been a previous no-contact order filed against him.

Alexandra Holzer, a second-generation ghost researcher and HuffPost blogger, says West’s alibi, while highly unusual, could be possible, but admits his “shady, checkered spousal abusive past” makes her skeptical.

“If they were the original owners — meaning the builders or the first homeowners — then I would say research the property it sits on for past history like devil worshiping or graves unearthed or hidden,” Holzer told HuffPost Weird News. “However, my main feeling towards this story is that [it’s maybe] due to the upsurge in cable TV shows on what is ‘depicted’ as a ghost attacking and/or physical behavior from the dead [and] is played off here in this case as sheer stupidity as a defense from this guy.”

In recent years, shows like “Ghost Hunters” and “Ghost Adventures” have become popular cable TV hits by allegedly showing investigators tussling with supposed spooks, and Holzer thinks that may have inspired West to scare up his alleged excuse.

“I wonder what shows he watches. I feel he is utilizing pop-culture here and some fantasy mixed in, but it’s a tough one to call ‘ghost attack’ in my opinion.”

Paranormal journalist and HuffPost blogger Alejandro Rojas says ghosts may attack people, but they don’t throw fisticuffs.

“I have never heard of a story of someone being punched by a ghost, but people have reported being pushed,” Rojas told HuffPost Weird News. “There have even been occasions on the ‘Ghost Hunters’ TV program where an investigator believes they have been shoved.”

But Rojas still says that he is skeptical of West’s claim.

A guy who’s dumb enough to believe in ghosts thinks his claim lacks veracity? That’s like finding out you’re the worst rapper in Utah. You’ve passed pathetic five miles back.

This just in, yet another idiot texted a cop and offered to sell him/her illegal drugs, said the police who arrested this particular idiot. This type of story is so common it’s not even funny any more. Most departments now have written procedures to follow when it happens.

Yeah, it happens that much.

But, if we’re talking about people who throw their lives and their money away then there must be someone somewhere picking them up. As it turns out there is. His name is Frank Buckley and he just built a billion Euro house which, adjusted for inflation and resale values, is now worth about $100.

An unemployed Irish artist has built a home from the shredded remains of 1.4 billion euros ($1.82 billion), a monument to the “madness” he says has been wrought on Ireland by the single currency, from a spectacular construction boom to a wrenching bust.

Frank Buckley built the apartment in the lobby of a Dublin office building that has lain vacant since its completion four years ago at the peak of an ill-fated construction boom, using bricks of shredded euro notes he borrowed from Ireland’s national mint.

“It’s a reflection of the whole madness that gripped us,” Buckley said of what he calls his “billion-euro home.”
“People were pouring billions into buildings now worth nothing,” he said. “I wanted to create something from nothing.”

A wave of cheap credit flowed into Ireland in the early 2000s after Ireland joined the currency zone fuelling a huge property bubble that transformed the country.

The bubble’s collapse since 2007 plunged Ireland into the deepest recession in the industrialized world, forcing the former “Celtic Tiger” to accept a humiliating bailout from the EU and the IMF.

Buckley was given a 100 percent mortgage at the peak of the boom to buy a 365,000 euro home on the far reaches of Dublin’s commuter belt, despite the fact he had no steady income.

He has separated from his wife who lives in the home, which has since lost at least one-third of its value.

Living in his “billion euro home” since the start of December, Buckley is working on adding a kitchen to the living room and hall.

The walls and floor are covered in euro shreddings and the house is so warm Buckley sleeps without a blanket.

Pictures made from notes and coins decorate the walls, including one of a house, made from Irish 5 pence pieces.

“There are houses in Ireland worth less than that,” Buckley quips.

Buckley said he wants Europe’s politicians to solve the eurozone debt crisis without destroying its currency. But if the currency ultimately fails, he will happily use the euro zone’s defunct notes as fodder for future projects.

“Whatever you say about the euro, it’s a great insulator.”

Well, that’s one way to save money. A dentist in New Bedford Massachusetts was arrested for trying another.

A former dentist in Massachusetts has pleaded guilty to Medicaid fraud for using paper clips instead of stainless steel posts in root canals.

Michael Clair is scheduled to be sentenced next Monday after pleading guilty last week in New Bedford Superior Court to a variety of charges, including defrauding Medicaid of $130,000 assault and battery, illegally prescribing prescription drugs and witness intimidation.

Prosecutors say the 53-year-old Clair was suspended by Medicaid in 2002, but continued to file claims from August 2003 to June 2005 by using the names of other dentists in his Fall River practice.

Authorities say instead of stainless steel posts for root canals, he used sections of paper clips — which can cause pain and even infection — in an effort to save money.

The fact that Steven King, who’s from around there, thinks the way he does makes complete sense to me now.

But what if you’re a good parent and loving person who tries to teach your child the best Christian values without the hate and the spew? Well, the little brat will turn around and try to have you arrested for having sex.

This is kind of funny.

A 15-year-old girl called 911 to report she could hear her mom having sex, according to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun. The website reports:

The girl, 15, told an officer that she wanted to go to a local shelter “because she heard her mother having sex” and “felt disrespected” by her 35-year-old parent’s actions. The teen acknowledged that “there was no form of abuse or neglect in the house.”

The mother explained to police that she had invited her boyfriend over and “sometime during the visit, her daughter heard them having sex and became upset.” The woman added that “their bedrooms are next to each other and she didn’t intend to wake her daughter up.”

Though it may have been a crime of passion, no one was arrested. The daughter eventually decided that she’d rather live at home, despite the cringe-worthy noise, than go to a local teen shelter. One can only imagine the awkward silence around the breakfast table the next morning.

Of course it happened in Florida. You knew that without me saying a word.

Here’s a nice song about a nice guy who pays his nice child support.

[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/18384245 w=400&h=300]

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Friday morning around 9:10!

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