In Praise of Older Women

Yeah, one a day keeps the doctors away.
As regular readers of this blog know, I am a big fan of women. I have learned, over the years, that sexy comes in all shapes, colors and sizes. I have also learned that a little maturity can go a long way to enhancing any experience. You might say that experience makes the experience better. You might, but you probably shouldn’t. It’s really trite. But some people don’t appreciate the effort that some women put forth to make the world a better place.

I’ll give you a blatant example. Every bar in West Midlands UK has banned a mom for being too sexy.

A woman in the UK has been banned from every nightclub in her home town after being told she is too old to wear skimpy clothing.

Lisa Woodman, a 28-year-old mother of four from Worcester in the West Midlands, was refused entry to three separate venues because of her short skirts, knee-high boots and low-cut tops, the Daily Mail reports.

All three clubs are owned by the same company and have stated the ban will stay in place until the medical secretary moderates her style of clothing.

Ms Woodman, a “petite” blonde with a size-six figure, said she was furious with her treatment.

“What’s wrong with what I wear? I’m not hurting anyone, am I? I am covering everything, and I just want to have a good time,” she was quoted as saying.

Ms Woodman freely admits to flaunting her figure but says her clothes are conservative compared to younger females who are allowed “straight in” to the clubs.

She says she was reduced to tears on New Year’s Eve when she was turned away by a doorman and told she was “too old” for the clothes she was wearing.

“When I asked the bouncers why me and my sister weren’t allowed in, they just said ‘You’re too old to wear that get-up’,” she was quoted as saying.

Ms Woodman recently split from her long-term partner, the father of her four children.

Following the split Ms Woodman underwent a breast enhancement and started attending the gym regularly.

“I split up from my partner last year and I was really upset so I had a boob job in April and got into shape going to the gym and now I just want to flaunt what I’ve got,” she told the Daily Mail.

Ms Woodman said at age 28, she does not consider herself “old”.

She has also complained of humiliating treatment at the hands of club staff.

“One doorman even made me walk up and down and turn around in front of people laughing at what I was wearing. I was totally in shock and really humiliated. I look after myself and I’m only 28. I just want to be treated with a bit of respect,” she said.

I see no reason that she should be denied entrance to any of these tawdry venues. As long as lips & nips are covered she should be good to go.

That being said, please don’t tell me it’s about wanting respect. She wants to ride the long horn and get her groove on. That’s fine, and admirable, but let’s be honest about what is behind all of this.

Moms in Mexico have come up with a different way to get their groove on. They dress up in tights and beat the snot out of each other.

Housewives looking to earn some extra cash in Mexico are donning masks and fancy costumes to step into the wrestling ring.

Women from low income families are earning their living by smashing each other to the canvas on a regular basis.

They are paid $10 to $200 per bout, a pittance compared to male wrestlers in Mexico, but good money in a country where the average annual wage is $6,000.

And the sport, which is steadily growing in popularity, is also providing an outlet for victims of domestic violence keen to stand up to their abusers.

Yes, there’s exploitative video if you click the link. I wouldn’t deny you that.

In China, a single woman has been seen wearing spandex and a mask, but she may be the first real life super hero you ever meet.

Ever fancied meeting up with a superhero? Well you could have, had you been in Beijing this past Christmas Eve. For that was the day a real-life superhero walked the streets of the city, helping out the poor. She calls herself the ‘Chinese Redbud Woman’.

Dressed in low-cut black tights and wearing a blue mask, her pictures leave us wondering if she attracted attention for more than just her generosity. Jokes aside, she did do a pretty good job of helping out – handing out food, warm clothing and gifts to beggars and homeless people. Why she didn’t put on some of the warm clothing herself on a cool December night, is something we don’t have an answer to. The appearance of this mysterious woman did cause a stir of sorts among the residents of Beijing. People started talking about her on the internet and in local media. Pictures of her acts of kindness at public places such as the Xidan subway station and in front of the Wangfujing bookstore have been doing the rounds ever since the night of Christmas Eve. The superlady herself communicates with the world through a microblog, written in Chinese. She currently has over 7,000 fans online.

Her message to the world through the microblog loosely translates as, “Today is my first day as the Chinese Redbud Woman, feeling a little nervous. Already prepared the military coats and food for the elderly, also many thanks to the hand warmer friend gave me.” A reporter was curious about the identity of the Chinese Redbud Woman, and contacted her through a private message on the microblog. However, she refused to provide any information saying that she just wants to help people in need, and it doesn’t matter who she is. Interestingly, this isn’t the first instance of the Chinese Redbud Woman. A lady sporting the same superhero moniker made an appearance last May, wearing the exact same outfit. She received great attention when she handed out food and cash to people in Hong Kong.

Yes, she has a nice rack. All female superheroes are required to have great ta-ta’s. It’s in the rule book. That being said, I have no idea what prompted her to do what she’s doing, but she’s doing more good in a single night than anyone else I can think of.

And while some women strive to be role models, others serve as warning signs. Orange UK is reporting the story of a 43 year old woman who married her 13 year old student after … of course … he got her pregnant.

A 43-year-old PE teacher arrested after having sex with a 13-year-old Austrian schoolboy is now pregnant by him.

Renata Juras was given a 22 suspended sentence after the boy told the court he loved her and they planned to marry.

The teacher even moved in with him and his mother after she lost her job as a teacher because of the affair.

The affair was exposed after the boy, Erwin, told his stepfather and he reported the woman, originally from Croatia, to police.

The court heard that had the couple waited just four months, the woman would not have faced trial as the legal age for entering into relationships with adults in Austria is 14.

The boy, now 16, said: “I was presented as the victim – as if she had seduced me. That was a completely false representation. It was me that made all the moves.”

Renate, who used to coach the youth handball team where Erwin was a player before she was fired, is overjoyed at being pregnant.

She already has a daughter one year younger than Erwin and at the same school, and said: “It is a completely planned pregnancy that we both wanted. I am insanely happy. We already have a name but we won’t reveal what it is yet.”

The couple are now married and are expecting their baby in June.

Imagine you are this insane lady’s daughter. Your dad is now in the same class as you. I’m sure she’ll grow up completely well adjusted and not pose any problems to society.

But, just in case, I’d carry a stun gun and knock-out darts if I was ever near her.

On the other hand, she might just end up quirky, like this lady who feeds her plants Viagra.

The horticultural expert says chemicals in the sex drug make cut flowers stand on end for longer.

He claims plants fed with water and crushed tablets stay upright for a week longer than those simply kept in water.

The host of Garden ER on Channel 5, said: ‘You only need a tiny amount of Viagra to stiffen things up nicely.

‘Just 1mg of Viagra – there are 50mg in a single Viagra tablet – dissolved into water with your plants will make them last a week long.

‘Viagra contains nitric oxide, which slows down the dying process in plants. The same chemical relaxes the muscles in a man’s penis, allowing the blood rush which is how Viagra perks things up.

‘Soluble aspirin works in the same way, too. Put one tablet into some wilting flowers and the effervescence will prolong their life.’

He said scientists were working on a version of Viagra for plants. ‘Our genetics are compatible to those of plants in many ways,’ he added.

Former This Morning gardening expert Domoney also reckons a shot of vodka will stop the water in a vase going green, beer makes a great slug trap, tea will revitalise azaleas and Deep Heat sprayed on a tea bag is a harmless repellant to keep out cats.

Wait! That’s a guy? Oh hell no.

I don’t know about you, but after that it’s Beer-O-Clock here at the World News Center.

Oh, and ladies, just remember that accessories can truly make the outfit.

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Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280,
every Friday morning around 9:10!

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