Really? Love Will Kill the World?

How cool is this? They even brought their own beer!
Just for the record, I am not homosexual. That being said, I still like musicals and the occasional flavored tea. I point this out because, as we learned from Ron White the other day, all men are gay. It’s just a matter of degree. In other words, being afraid of gay people is, when you think about it rationally, like being afraid of yourself. When I get up in the morning and shave the – mildly acceptable – mug I see in the mirror it may not win beauty prizes but it doesn’t scare me. All in all I’m pretty comfortable being me. Because of that I’m pretty comfortable around other people too. I’m not a fan of crowds but, other than that, I’m happy to meet anyone. And, in my life, I have met a panapoly of personality types. I don’t want to belabor a point – or come off like a 1960’s liberal (a/k/a WXRT listener) with the whole “I love black people, I own a Cole Porter record” vibe – but I can sum things up thusly; the best man at my wedding is a former Marine who works for Ron Paul, the man who helped me pick out the ring is a professional drag queen. That’s about as diverse as you can get.

I should also note that I was born and raised a Catholic. Many of my formative years were spent at Sacred Heart of Mary in Melrose Park. So, while my path to God has led me away from the Church I still feel tied to it. That mental dichotomy is common among us lapsed Catholics.

Before we go any further, I want to point out that I don’t believe God makes mistakes. He put a wide variety of people on this planet for a reason. And, while I may not know what His divine reason is, I am pretty darn sure it isn’t “fear and hate them because they’re different.”

So when the Pope, the guy who’s supposed to be infallible and in direct contact with God, comes out and says that gay marriage is a threat to the future of humanity, all I can do is hang my head and sigh.

Seriously? That’s the threat? Not the crazy people trying to build nukes in their basements or the terrorists who listen to the bunnies in their heads and then go kill people or the greedy, soul-less, pyschos who hoard wealth even at the expense of all around them? None of these made the list? Just a couple of people who want nothing out of life but the chance to love each other? That’s who set your miter spinning?

And, thanks to the Kardashians and the Britneys and the rest we see how sacred hetero marriages are.

Some of them are measured in minutes.

I got some news for you there Benny baby, even your own church disagreed with you. At least for the first thousand years or so until the crazy people took over. Thomas Payne, the living one not the 1776 revolutionary, has a nice, Christian, history of same sex marriages.

A Kiev art museum contains a curious icon from St. Catherine’s Monastery on Mt. Sinai in Israel. It shows two robed Christian saints. Between them is a traditional Roman ‘pronubus’ (a best man), overseeing a wedding. The pronubus is Christ. The married couple are both men.

Is the icon suggesting that a gay “wedding” is being sanctified by Christ himself? The idea seems shocking. But the full answer comes from other early Christian sources about the two men featured in the icon, St. Sergius and St. Bacchus,2 two Roman soldiers who were Christian martyrs. These two officers in the Roman army incurred the anger of Emperor Maximian when they were exposed as ‘secret Christians’ by refusing to enter a pagan temple. Both were sent to Syria circa 303 CE where Bacchus is thought to have died while being flogged. Sergius survived torture but was later beheaded. Legend says that Bacchus appeared to the dying Sergius as an angel, telling him to be brave because they would soon be reunited in heaven.

While the pairing of saints, particularly in the early Christian church, was not unusual, the association of these two men was regarded as particularly intimate. Severus, the Patriarch of Antioch (512 – 518 CE) explained that, “we should not separate in speech they [Sergius and Bacchus] who were joined in life”. This is not a case of simple “adelphopoiia.” In the definitive 10th century account of their lives, St. Sergius is openly celebrated as the “sweet companion and lover” of St. Bacchus. Sergius and Bacchus’s close relationship has led many modern scholars to believe they were lovers. But the most compelling evidence for this view is that the oldest text of their martyrology, written in New Testament Greek describes them as “erastai,” or “lovers”. In other words, they were a male homosexual couple. Their orientation and relationship was not only acknowledged, but it was fully accepted and celebrated by the early Christian church, which was far more tolerant than it is today.

Contrary to myth, Christianity’s concept of marriage has not been set in stone since the days of Christ, but has constantly evolved as a concept and ritual.

Prof. John Boswell3, the late Chairman of Yale University’s history department, discovered that in addition to heterosexual marriage ceremonies in ancient Christian church liturgical documents, there were also ceremonies called the “Office of Same-Sex Union” (10th and 11th century), and the “Order for Uniting Two Men” (11th and 12th century).

These church rites had all the symbols of a heterosexual marriage: the whole community gathered in a church, a blessing of the couple before the altar was conducted with their right hands joined, holy vows were exchanged, a priest officiatied in the taking of the Eucharist and a wedding feast for the guests was celebrated afterwards. These elements all appear in contemporary illustrations of the holy union of the Byzantine Warrior-Emperor, Basil the First (867-886 CE) and his companion John.

Such same gender Christian sanctified unions also took place in Ireland in the late 12th and early 13th centuries, as the chronicler Gerald of Wales (‘Geraldus Cambrensis’) recorded.

Same-sex unions in pre-modern Europe list in great detail some same gender ceremonies found in ancient church liturgical documents. One Greek 13th century rite, “Order for Solemn Same-Sex Union”, invoked St. Serge and St. Bacchus, and called on God to “vouchsafe unto these, Thy servants [N and N], the grace to love one another and to abide without hate and not be the cause of scandal all the days of their lives, with the help of the Holy Mother of God, and all Thy saints”. The ceremony concludes: “And they shall kiss the Holy Gospel and each other, and it shall be concluded”.

Another 14th century Serbian Slavonic “Office of the Same Sex Union”, uniting two men or two women, had the couple lay their right hands on the Gospel while having a crucifix placed in their left hands. After kissing the Gospel, the couple were then required to kiss each other, after which the priest, having raised up the Eucharist, would give them both communion.

Records of Christian same sex unions have been discovered in such diverse archives as those in the Vatican, in St. Petersburg, in Paris, in Istanbul and in the Sinai, covering a thousand-years from the 8th to the 18th century.

The Dominican missionary and Prior, Jacques Goar (1601-1653), includes such ceremonies in a printed collection of Greek Orthodox prayer books, “Euchologion Sive Rituale Graecorum Complectens Ritus Et Ordines Divinae Liturgiae” (Paris, 1667).

While homosexuality was technically illegal from late Roman times, homophobic writings didn’t appear in Western Europe until the late 14th century. Even then, church-consecrated same sex unions continued to take place.

At St. John Lateran in Rome (traditionally the Pope’s parish church) in 1578, as many as thirteen same-gender couples were joined during a high Mass and with the cooperation of the Vatican clergy, “taking communion together, using the same nuptial Scripture, after which they slept and ate together” according to a contemporary report. Another woman to woman union is recorded in Dalmatia in the 18th century.

Prof. Boswell’s academic study is so well researched and documented that it poses fundamental questions for both modern church leaders and heterosexual Christians about their own modern attitudes towards homosexuality.

For the Church to ignore the evidence in its own archives would be cowardly and deceptive. The evidence convincingly shows that what the modern church claims has always been its unchanging attitude towards homosexuality is, in fact, nothing of the sort.

It proves that for the last two millennia, in parish churches and cathedrals throughout Christendom, from Ireland to Istanbul and even in the heart of Rome itself, homosexual relationships were accepted as valid expressions of a [Christian] god-given love and commitment to another person, a love that could be celebrated, honored and blessed, through the Eucharist in the name of, and in the presence of, Jesus Christ.

You have to go seriously Old Testament – back to when you could sell your daughter or kill your neighbor – to find condemnation of homosexuality. Oh, I know, many will quickly point out the writings of Paul. To which I point out that he was a very odd man. He went from professional assassin to preacher in one day. Also, he was not a fan of any sex. He just tolerated the hetero variety.

Grudgingly.

So, just for the sake of whimsy, let’s throw a little scientific light on same sex relationships. Scientists just completed a 24 year long study of children raised by lesbians to see how messed up they were.

The U.S. National Longitudinal Lesbian Family Study (NLLFS) just released its results on its 24-year long study on families with lesbian parents, finding that not one of the 78 adolescents in the study had reported being sexually or physically abused by their parents. This compares to 26% of American adolescents overall who report parent or caregiver physical abuse. 8.3% report sexual abuse.

Additionally, only 2.8% of the adolescents in the study identified themselves as gay. Apparently the majority of them didn’t catch their parents’ gayness.

Face it folks, gay babies come, for obvious reasons, from straight parents.

Or, to put things more succinctly, God thinks homophobes are idiots.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r4p8qxGbpOk&w=560&h=315]

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Friday morning around 9:10!

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