If It’s Nude, It’s News!

Stuff comes from strange places. We talked earlier about how modern literacy in Western culture came from porn. People may not want to think about that but that doesn’t make it any less true. Modern computers are the direct descendants of looms. The punch card system that was designed to ensure each pattern came out identical is the same system that was used for data storage and sorting until micro-chips were invented. The water wheel led to the industrial revolution. Until then all mill work had to be done by…

Read More

Nude Hippo to the Rescue!

There is a gentleman who live a couple of blocks away from me. He is, to use the common vernacular, a grade A jerk. He is also not very bright. I can sum him up with a single incident; he recently broke his leg trying to kick in the front door of a bar that had thrown him out for being drunk and disorderly. You get the idea. Anyway, yesterday, I saw him crutching – it’s my story and I’ll invent words if I want to – his way down…

Read More

The FDA has Gone Insane

You all know that one person who listens to the bunnies in their head before making any decision. You’ll find them in supermarkets carefully perusing the Weekly World News for facts as they check their horoscope before embarking on any errand. They will often, in that cute way they have that borders on – yet misses wildly – lucidity, make declarations that will flatly contradict anything they said seconds ago. And, should you be silly enough to point that out they will immediately proclaim “so you’re one of them too.”…

Read More

McHealth Food

In my time here at World News Center I have railed against the complete insanity of putting the pretend food at McDonald’s into your body. More often than not you’d be better served just eating the Styrofoam and washing it down with Draino. And let’s face facts, it’s not like I live a healthy lifestyle. Beer, bourbon and babes comprise my daily diet. Oh, okay, I will toss down the occasional burrito to keep a sense of balance. But even that lifestyle is healthier than McDonald’s food. Meat that does…

Read More

A Little Sunshine For Your Day

Over the last few weeks we have been picking up more and more readers from Asia. Specifically India. First off, to all of them, welcome. We love having new faces around here. And it is certainly fun getting emails from new readers. However, yesterday, after I called the Wizard of Ed to see if there was a way to auto-translate the site into accurate Hindi (he’s going to get right back to me on that), I received an email from one of our new readers that left me completely flummoxed.…

Read More

More Them’s Not Like You and I

I got an irate email the other day concerning a column I wrote earlier this week. The young lady, she mentioned which college she is currently attending, was appalled that I had focused on a series of articles that covered a month’s worth of time to make people seem stupid. She is correct. At least about the time it took for all the articles to become pubic knowledge. She took further umbrage at the fact that I had not shown one iota of sympathy for these people and, instead, blithely…

Read More

We Doth Reap What We Doth Sow

All righty then, feeling kind of cool and kind of funky. Been wanting to bust out a good “doth” on you guys for a while and today provided the perfect opportunity. I mean, this article’s barely started and you’ve already got a reference to a bible quote and a naked English farmer. That alone should tell you that today’s going to be chock full of Nude Hippo goodness. I’m not even going to mention the whole Republican debate last night wherein the candidates either lied or made stuff up so…

Read More

In Praise of Older Women

As regular readers of this blog know, I am a big fan of women. I have learned, over the years, that sexy comes in all shapes, colors and sizes. I have also learned that a little maturity can go a long way to enhancing any experience. You might say that experience makes the experience better. You might, but you probably shouldn’t. It’s really trite. But some people don’t appreciate the effort that some women put forth to make the world a better place. I’ll give you a blatant example. Every…

Read More

Here Kitty Kitty

First of all, a big high five to the teller of a Mexican bank who, when being robbed by a skateboarding bandit, hit the silent alarm and then began counting the money for him like this; uno peso, dos, pesos, tres pesos … and so on. Thus giving the police plenty of time to show up and arrest the young man. Since the budding criminal mastermind was unarmed it’s unclear what he said to the tellers to make them think he was a threat. “Give me money or I’ll make…

Read More

Them’s Not Like You and I

We live on a big blue marble that circles a little yellow star and it is populated by many types of people. While we often will acknowledge the diversity shown on our marble we, more often than not, still expect a level of sameness that defies the known facts. That being said, there are still enough commonalities that we can find a solid foundation for getting to know each other. We all want our families to be safe, we want our children to do well and prosper and we wish…

Read More