Why We No Smart?

Sometimes I just sit and stare at the empty space where words are supposed to go and wonder what the heck I can say. After all, some of the stuff I find on the internet needs little or no preamble. There’s only so many ways to work the word “idiot” into a sentence before you start boring people. But then, just when I’m about to bust open a bottle of bourbon and wallow in despair, something comes along and allows me to tie it all together. Because of that I’m…

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A World Without Immigrants

A lot of debate has been centered on immigrants in this country. Specifically the illegal ones but the legal ones do get dragged into the fray from time to time. The usual rants run one of two ways. One, these people are criminals and need to be jailed and deported. Or, they are the very fabric of what it means to be America. There’s not a lot of middle ground there. I think about this because of one very simple reason. If the anti-immigration people held sway in 1921 I…

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Oh Joy, More Idiots

A long time ago in a land far, far, away, back when I was a wee little Big Bad, I met my first real idiot. My family was small and not encumbered with idiots so it took me a moment to realize that this newcomer was different. A couple of years older than me, a bully and an idiot all rolled into one. I won’t bore you with what he did. Well, to be more accurate, tried to do. Suffice it to say he ended up gloriously, and very publicly,…

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It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Crystalnacht

You may have heard a silly rumor that the Allied forces won World War II and defeated fascism. You may even have relatives who fought in that war. Unfortunately, one quick look out of the window and you’ll find that claims for victory might have been a touch premature. I had recently written about a game on Facebook called Left Behind: Eternal Forces. It was immediately pointed out by several astute readers that the article I had referenced, and am referencing here, was five years old and that the game…

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What Are We Doing to Our Kids?

I don’t have kids. But I have cared for my friends’ children, either babysitting or just giving the folks a day to themselves, on enough occasions to feel safe in saying that kids aren’t such bad things. Of course the problem children have is that they trust adults to do right by them. After all, isn’t that what adults are for? Well, that and the occasional hot dog. Simply put kids expect us grown ups to actually know what the heck we’re doing and, whenever possible, to send clear and…

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Groupon Makes Elves Cry

Businesses all over the world are looking for innovative ways to bring people into their humble stores. They offer huge discounts on some items in the hope that people will pay full price for other items once they’re inside. This called the “loss leader” philosophy. In the 60’s the main loss leader was cigarettes. You could get a pack below cost at any gas station because they expected you to buy gas. That changed in the 70’s when no one could get gas due to the embargo. By the 80’s…

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The World Is Ending (again), Send Money Now

I love the end of the world. Every time it comes up the really cool people throw the best parties. And, as I learned as a young man, “Hey baby, the world’s ending anyway, so how’s about …” actually works in those circumstances. In fact the best apocalypse party I ever went to was also a toga party. Think of it as ease of access to those end times. And I know that, as dedicated Nude Hippoers, you want to make sure you greet the various apocalypses correctly. The next…

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Of Course We’ll Light Your Face on Fire

A form the the hallucinogenic drug known popularly as acid is called Sunshine. Florida is the Sunshine State. Coincidence? I think not. Sure Texas and Arizona have been making progress to being named the dumbest states in the nation but, if you want the brain crushingly obtuse, Florida is still the king. Where else but Florida could a woman go in for routine surgery and have the doctors light her face on fire? She went from having cysts to being sizzling in record time. She’s still in intensive care so…

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It’s The Bomb!

Regular readers of this blog, and my thanks to both of you, know there are some people who should just be taken to a nice, quiet, place where they can do no harm. Some may not mean ill unto others but they just can’t stop themselves from being a human wave of destruction. Others are evil to the core. Either way they don’t really benefit humanity. Amuse us? Yes. Amaze us? Often. Benefit? Not so much. They are the kind of people who woefully confused by difficult concepts such as…

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Bible Study, Hippo Style

The Bible is, if I may use this word, an evolving text. Discoveries have been made that have forced scholars and lay people alike to reconsider what it all means. If we ignore the many politicized revisions of the King James Bible we have a pretty good starting point to base any discoveries on. The same holds true for the Talmud, which was edited and revised to become the Old Testament in the Christian Bible. The Holy Qu’Ran is a different animal. It was, according to Islamic tradition, dictated directly…

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