• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar

World News Center

Everything you want to know about anything that's meaningful

  • News
  • Reviews
  • About
  • Contact Us
You are here: Home / Google’s Racist and Other Fun Holiday Stories

Google’s Racist and Other Fun Holiday Stories

December 23, 2011 by

Google's idea of a sexy Christmas
I’m a middle aged white guy who’s had a lot on his mind recently so I hope you’ll forgive me taking a while to figure some stuff out. This week, in preparation for the BIG Holiday Special on WBIG today at 9:10 AM Central Time, I’ve been researching the heck out of the history of Christmas. Now, just so you know a little how the World News Center works, I rarely bother checking the images that the daily robots bring back along with the stories they find. They are simply too random to be useful. But once I find a few stories with a common theme I’ll Google that theme to see what I can find. That’s worked pretty well thus far. But, this week, things are different. I’ve turned off the robots to keep my email’s in-box from overflowing and have just relied on holiday related searches through Google. Some I did for pure fun, others for specific research but, yesterday, I started going through my searches looking for something specific in the images. I wanted to find people of color, any color would do, celebrating Christmas.

You see, I live in Chicago. A relatively cosmopolitan, polyglot, metropolis, if I dare say so and I wanted something that represented the world around me. If I walk out my front door and turn right there’s a nice Puerto Rican man whose yard has a fun Nativity scene. The fact that the three wise men happen to look exactly like Larry, Curly and Moe is, I’m sure, a coincidence. A couple of blocks north there lives a nice, African-American, couple who have decorated their home in a tasteful array of white lights surrounding a window display of a, more traditional, Nativity scene and a Kwanzaa shrine. It is quite beautiful. Were I to go south instead I would run into a nice Chinese family who came to America to practice their Christian beliefs openly. As you might guess they are supportive of the whole Christmas thing even if they are a little fuzzy on the details. After all they’ve only been able to base their beliefs on what’s in the Bible and not what’s on TV commercials, so there are gaps in their knowledge.

Which kind of explains the Santa wearing a crucifix on their front lawn.

Anyway, as I said, I was looking for images of people of color for one of my holiday postings. All searches are done with safe Search turned off. Just so you’re aware.

I searched for Merry Christmas. I got some soft core porn, a few religious items and lots and lots of white people.

I searched Seasons Greetings. I got the cast of Twilight – really? – the Mickey Mouse Club and lots of white people. Oh, and some cute cards.

I searched Happy Holidays. I got more cute cards, a menorah, fireworks, still more cute cards and lots and lots of white people.

So I upped the ante. I searched for Sexy Santa. Let’s be honest, even the most xenophobic racists among you have to admit that there are smoking hot women of color on this planet. Certainly one of them dressed up for Christmas. Right? Wrong. You get naked white guys, naked white women, naked white – well, some gender or another, and so on. You also get some pretty interesting costume ideas. What you do not get is an image of a person of color. Well, there is one Asian girl near the bottom but she’s awfully pale.

Okay, so I broadened the search. I went looking for Sexy Christmas images. I got two white women sucking on the same candy cane, a naked guy covering his junk with straw (barely) and so on. But, alas, the only person with skin darker than Wonder Bread is a silhouette for an i-Pod ad. And she’s clearly Caucasian.

So I took one last stab at it. I searched for Sexy Elf. While the back story behind elves is about as white as white can be, the fact is that I have been to a couple of Lord of the Rings parties and seen women of color dressed up, very sexily, as elves. Even if they weren’t Christmas specific, I figured I’d get something.

That’s what I figured. I was wrong.

Not even close. I’ve seen Klan rallies more diverse than that.

In fact, the only time I found any people of color relative to the holiday was when I searched for Chrismahanukwanzaka. That’s right, a cheesy ad for a cell phone plan is the most diverse holiday offering on Google. That is also the only search that did not return any porn, soft core or otherwise.

Even those Hanna-Barbera holiday puppet shows from the 60’s were more diverse than anything I found online.

Now that I’ve told you what I didn’t find, I guess I should share some things I did.

A woman in Danbury, Conn. has been arrested for sexually molesting a department store Santa.

Santa Claus says that a woman who sat on his lap was naughty, not nice. A Santa at the Danbury Fair mall said the woman groped him.

“The security officer at the mall said Santa Claus has been sexually assaulted,” police Detective Lt. Thomas Michael said of the complaint.

Sandrama Lamy, 33, of Danbury, was charged with sexual assault and breach of peace in the weekend incident. She was released on a promise to appear in court on Jan. 3.

Police quickly found and identified Lamy because the woman was described as being on crutches, said Capt. Bob Myles.

Of course, things could be worse for Santa. I do mean, MUCH, worse. A rotten little British brat has promised to kill Santa if she doesn’t get everything on her list.

“This Christmas, I don’t ask for much, so if I don’t get at least two of the things I want, I will literally kill you! Do you understand?! Oh, also, I’ll hunt down your reindeers, cook them and serve their meat to homeless people on Christmas Day,” Mekeeda Austin, 13, wrote in her letter, the Daily Mail reported. “No one wants that, so here’s what I want.”

The girl lists a BlackBerry, money, a dress, high-top Converse shoes and the real Justin Bieber.

“Remember, two of these or you die,” she wrote, signing it, “Love from Keedy.”

Her mother found the letter and said she thought the letter was humorous, and she’ll try to get her daughter everything she wants.

“I know it sounds like she is spoiled but I like to get my daughter what she wants, also you don’t want to get on the wrong side of her,” Tracey Soares told the newspaper, although she admitted getting the Canadian pop singer might be difficult because Bieber “will be busy with (his) own (family) on Christmas Day.”

Austin told the reporter she didn’t see any problem with the letter.

“I want all of these things and I don’t see why I shouldn’t get them,” she said.

Item #1: the mother in this story is an idiot.

Item #2: I bet you’re singing the Veruca Salt classic right now too.

Item #3: see item #1.

Guess what, it could get even worse still. Police in Brazil are still investigating the possible, 2 year old, arson committed on one of the world’s largest Santas.

At 50 feet, this is probably the largest Santa you have ever seen. It’s a pity it got burnt down at the end. A lot of people traveled far to get a picture with it but it went up in flames covering the surrounding area in thick black smoke. This happened in Brazil on December 2, 2009 and it is assumed to be because of some mechanical error although some people speculate foul play. The pictures do make you feel sad about all the efforts going up in flames.

The giant display caught fire during its unveiling. The Santa was well made and placed in an open area surrounded by buildings. Santa getting burned down is probably something you don’t want your children to witness. Once the entire Santa got burned down, all that remained was the metal skeleton. Guess we should just be glad that nobody was hurt during the incident.

Speaking of a smoking Santa, a head shop in Greenville, PA. has a wonderful holiday hookah that features old St. Nick clearly inhaling.

Some people thinks it’s funny others are woefully offended.

That, pretty much, sums up the whole story.

Keep in mind that NORAD is, once again, offering it’s Santa tracker for free online. Keep in mind that, due to the international date line, Santa will actually leave the North Pole in less than 20 hours from mow.

Think of it is as a golden opportunity to prove to your kid that the world really is round.

It’s a start.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__kQ1PCP6B0&w=480&h=360]

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, this Friday morning around 9:10 for his version of a holiday special!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Primary Sidebar

Archives

  • October 2022
  • May 2022
  • April 2022
  • March 2022
  • December 2021
  • October 2021
  • July 2021
  • June 2021
  • April 2021
  • November 2020
  • July 2020
  • June 2020
  • May 2020
  • March 2020
  • February 2020
  • January 2020
  • December 2019
  • November 2019
  • October 2019
  • September 2019
  • August 2019
  • July 2019
  • June 2019
  • May 2019
  • April 2019
  • March 2019
  • February 2019
  • January 2019
  • December 2018
  • November 2018
  • September 2018
  • July 2018
  • June 2018
  • May 2018
  • April 2018
  • March 2018
  • February 2018
  • January 2018
  • December 2017
  • November 2017
  • October 2017
  • September 2017
  • August 2017
  • July 2017
  • February 2017
  • January 2017
  • December 2016
  • November 2016
  • October 2016
  • September 2016
  • August 2016
  • July 2016
  • June 2016
  • May 2016
  • April 2016
  • March 2016
  • February 2016
  • January 2016
  • December 2015
  • November 2015
  • October 2015
  • September 2015
  • August 2015
  • July 2015
  • June 2015
  • May 2015
  • April 2015
  • March 2015
  • February 2015
  • January 2015
  • December 2014
  • November 2014
  • October 2014
  • September 2014
  • August 2014
  • July 2014
  • June 2014
  • May 2014
  • April 2014
  • March 2014
  • February 2014
  • January 2014
  • December 2013
  • November 2013
  • October 2013
  • September 2013
  • August 2013
  • July 2013
  • June 2013
  • May 2013
  • April 2013
  • March 2013
  • February 2013
  • January 2013
  • December 2012
  • November 2012
  • October 2012
  • September 2012
  • August 2012
  • July 2012
  • June 2012
  • May 2012
  • April 2012
  • March 2012
  • February 2012
  • January 2012
  • December 2011
  • November 2011
  • October 2011
  • September 2011
  • August 2011
  • July 2011
  • June 2011
  • May 2011
  • April 2011
  • March 2011
  • February 2011
  • January 2011
  • December 2010
  • November 2010
  • October 2010
  • September 2010

Copyright © 2023 · Metro Pro on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in