What Are We Doing to Our Kids?

The future of America may be doomed by the present of America.
I don’t have kids. But I have cared for my friends’ children, either babysitting or just giving the folks a day to themselves, on enough occasions to feel safe in saying that kids aren’t such bad things. Of course the problem children have is that they trust adults to do right by them. After all, isn’t that what adults are for? Well, that and the occasional hot dog. Simply put kids expect us grown ups to actually know what the heck we’re doing and, whenever possible, to send clear and consistent messages on what we expect. It’s not that hard but it does require more than 2 seconds of random thought. I guess that’s why all of today’s stories amaze me. Each and every one of them should never have happened. Simple common sense could have avoided every single one. But NOOOOOO, these adults have to act like children trying to follow the rules for the very first time. Look, that’s cute when your little T-baller runs to third instead of first, not so cute when the T-baller in question is around 30 years old.

So let’s start with the first example of modern parenting gone awry. For today’s blog I’m taking the stories in chronological order, youngest child to the oldest.

So, you send your kid off to toddler school. You pack them a nice lunch and make sure they have crayons. So far you’re doing pretty good. But, you can’t stop there can you? Of course not, you have to go and pack a joint with your kid’s pudding.

Police say a 33-year-old man sent along a little something extra in his 18-month-old son’s lunch box this week: a marijuana cigarette.

Clinton police arrested John Sulzbach of Killingworth after workers at the Clinton Child Care Center reported finding the pot in the child’s food container on Thursday, NBCConnecticut.com reported. The child is 18 months old, police said.

The cigarette was accidentally dropped in the food container while Sulzbach made the child’s lunch the night before, police said.

Police found less than one ounce of marijuana in Sulzbach’s basement after searching his home. He faces charges of risk to injury to a minor and drug possession.

Sulzman was charged with possession of a controlled substance and risk of injury/impairing the morals of a child. He was released on a written promise to appear in court on Dec. 22.

Okay, a couple of commons sense moments are needed here. First, yes dad, you screwed up. But, really, “impairing the morals of a child?” Do they really think that 18 month old kid was going to spark up a fatty to get through the alphabet song?

Okay, let’s move on. This next story has me wondering if the people in charge are really as dumb as they’re pretending to be or if every child in the Boston Metropolitan Area should be home schooled.

A 7-year-old boy has been accused of sexual harassment after punching a fellow first-grader in the groin, but the boy’s mother says he was acting in self-defense.

Tasha Lynch told The Boston Globe that her son, Mark Curran, was being choked during the Nov. 22 incident on a school bus, and has been afraid to go back to school in South Boston ever since.

“I think my kid was right to fight back [after he was choked],’’ she said. “He wasn’t doing anything except protecting himself.’’

A spokesman for the Boston public schools confirmed the incident had been classified as possible sexual harassment, but declined to comment it. Curran faces suspension or being transferred to another school if his actions are deemed to be sexual harassment, according to a letter from his school.

“Any kind of inappropriate touching would fall under that category,’’ school spokesman Matthew Wilder said to The Globe. “The school administration is conducting a full investigation that has not concluded yet. Certainly, once that investigation is through, we’ll then make a final conclusion as to who will be disciplined and how.’’

Lynch said she could tell her son was upset when she picked him up from the bus stop after school on Nov. 22. She said she asked him what was wrong, and he told her another boy had choked him and taken his new gloves.

Furious, Lynch said she went up to the bus driver and demanded to know what had happened.

“He just smiled and shrugged,’’ she said. She called school officials but no one got back to her, so the following week she had her older son took Mark into the principal’s office to tell her, reported The Globe.

“I just thought they were going to call the parents, tell us both to come in and make the boys shake hands,’’ Lynch said. Or, at least, make the other boy return her son’s gloves. Instead, Tynan Elementary school officials began questioning Mark about his role in the scuffle.

“They didn’t believe me,’’ Curran told The Globe on Thursday. “I didn’t get my gloves back.’’

Tynan Elementary School Principal Leslie Gant didn’t believe that Mark was acting out of self-defense, Lynch told The Globe.

“She said, ‘It doesn’t matter who hit who first,’ ’’ Lynch said. “‘He said he hit him in the testicles. That’s assault. That’s sexual assault.’”

I said: ‘The kid choked my son first and that’s called attempted murder. He said he couldn’t breathe.’’’

The school sent a letter to stating her son was accused of sexual harassment and endangering physical safety of other students.

A hearing for Curran will be held on Monday.

Lynch has told the school she doesn’t want her son riding the bus without an adult there to make sure he’s safe.

The kid was choked and robbed and they’re mad at him? Do they really tell kids stuff like “You go apologize to Bluto for bruising his hand with your face.”?

I kind of hope the school sticks to its guns on this one just because the resulting lawsuit will be funny as heck.

In other news involving juvenile sexual delinquents a 9 year old kid was suspended from school for …. saying his teacher was cute.

A 9-year-old boy was suspended from school for two days for sexual harassment last week after he called his teacher “cute,” his mother says.

Chiquita Lockett of Gastonia, N.C., told WSOC-TV of Charlotte, N.C., which first reported the story, that her 9-year-old son, Emanyea, shouldn’t have been sent home from Brookside Elementary School.

“It’s not like he went up to the woman and tried to grab her or touch her in a sexual way,” Lockett told WSOC. “So why would he be suspended for two days?”

The Gaston County school district said it couldn’t discuss the incident beyond confirming that Emanyea was suspended for “inappropriate behavior” after making “inappropriate statements.”

HE’S FREAKING 9 PEOPLE! Everything is “cute” to 9 year olds. Puppies, cars, teachers, they’re all the same. Way to overreact there Puritan Polly. Maybe a quick trip to your local Lovers Lane would help loosen up those rusty hinges.

This next one involves the TSA, Florida and fashion. The pregnant teenager is just a bonus.

It’s not unusual for 17-year-old to find themselves in hot water with the fashion police. But on a flight from Virginia to Florida, Vanessa Gibbs found herself detained by the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) over the appearance of her purse.

And just to be clear, it wasn’t the content inside the purse that the TSA objected to. No, agency officials took exception with the design of a gun on Gibbs’ handbag.

“It’s my style, it’s camouflage, it has an old western gun on it,” Gibbs told News4Jax.com. Gibbs didn’t run into any trouble while traveling north from Jacksonville International Airport. But on her way back home, TSA officials at Norfolk International Airport pulled her aside.

“She was like, ‘This is a federal offense because it’s in the shape of a gun,'” Gibbs said. “I’m like, ‘But it’s a design on a purse. How is it a federal offense?'”

After TSA agents figured out the gun was a fake, Gibbs said, they told her to check the bag or turn it over. By the time security wrapped up the inspection, the pregnant teen missed her flight, and Southwest Airlines sent her to Orlando instead. The changed itinerary created no small amount of anxiety for Gibbs’ mother, who was already waiting for her to arrive at the Jacksonville airport.

“Oh, it’s terrifying. I was so upset,” said Tami Gibbs, the teen’s mom. “I was on the phone all the way to Orlando trying to figure out what was going on with her. It was terrifying.”

Less terrifying is the actual design on the purse, which is only a few inches in size and hollow. “I carried this from Jacksonville to Norfolk, and I’ve carried it from Norfolk to Jacksonville,” Vanessa said. “Never once has anyone said anything about it until now.”

Nonetheless, the TSA says the design could be considered a “replica weapon,” something that the agency has banned since 2002. Just imagine what would have happened if Gibbs had also been wearing stiletto heels.

“Replica weapon?” Really skippy? How the heck do you walk and breathe at the same time without continuous assistance? By that incredible standard a picture of a gun would qualify. On the other hand, one thing does confuse me; what the heck is that kid doing flying around the country so much?

Maybe a custody thing.

Okay, now we have a complete head scratcher. Boy applies for job, boy has questions about job, boy attemtps to ask employee said questions, boy is arrested and tossed in jail.

Charleston, S.C., teen Kieon Sharp, 18, tried taking the direct approach to landing a new job. Instead, it landed him in jail, on suspicion of armed robbery.

Sharp was hoping to find a job with Brinks security. He had already applied for a job with the company but decided he wanted more information about the day-to-day details of driving one of the company’s armed trucks. And what better way to gather information than going straight to the source? So he went up to a driver inside one of the company’s vehicles and knocked on the window.

The driver mistakenly thought Sharp was holding a gun and called the police. Charleston Police Sgt. Bobby Eggleton described the situation as “more than just a misunderstanding.” In the aftermath of Sharp’s failed informational interview, police held him behind bars for several hours before releasing him.

“He banged on the window and that scared the driver,” Eggleton said. “You don’t approach those guys very often. They are on high alert because they carry a large amount of cash.”

Of course, when police actually searched Sharp they didn’t find a gun, just copies of the job applications he had filled out that day, including one for a position with Brinks. Eggleton said Sharp was cooperative with police and that they even offered Sharp a job application with the city’s street department after he was released on Thursday.

Let’s be honest here, the driver didn’t “mistakenly see a gun” he actually saw a young black man and freaked out. Hopefully cooler heads will prevail and these charges will be dropped. But, as of now, they are still pending.

So, as you can plainly see, we are a nation of idiots. I mean, seriously, common sense has just been tossed out the window of a fast moving car and all we’re left with is a bunch of rules being enforced by people who probably have to have them read to them.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afam2nIae4o&w=480&h=360]

Listen to Bill McCormick on WBIG AM 1280, every Thursday morning around 9:10!

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